Rachel sat alone on the park bench outside of the school. The New York City wind, tunnelling through the busy streets entangled itself in her hair, wrapping strands across her face. If this were any random afternoon in Rachel Berry's life, she would have impulsively brushed the hair away, combing it back into a smooth, silky wave. Then she probably would have subtly but quickly pulled out a mini compact from her purse 2 minutes later to double check when she thought no one was looking. But this time, she didn't even flinch- she barely seemed to notice the dark strands tickling her lips. Instead, she remained rooted to the spot, with her small hands nestled in her lap, clenching the hem of her yellow sweater.
This afternoon was different; this afternoon, her life had been tipped upside down and now, it was as if she was just free falling into some unknown place. For the past few hours, she hadn't felt like Rachel Berry, the bona fide superstar. She was no longer bubbling with excitement about finally being in the Big Apple, the actual breeding grounds of her dreams. Instead, she felt almost hollow; she was aware of the cool stone of the bench under her skirt, but felt weightless at the same time. Her thoughts were hazy and muddled; her eyes were stuck but unfocused on the blur of people rushing past her amidst the buzzing sounds of the city, which in turn, seemed nothing more than a dull lull in the background.
She was in shock, she knew that much; stunned. But what had at first felt like the most exciting, amazing feeling in the whole world has suddenly crashed and burned and had now turned into confusion, anxiety and fear...most of all fear.
What am I going to do? How am I even going to-
"Hey there pretty lady."
Rachel started. She looked up and felt her heart drop into her feet.
Smiling down at her, was the adoring face of the boy she loved; his charismatic grin, his bright, brown eyes reflecting the excitement she knew the entire group was feeling, being in NYC. On an average day, one look like that from Finn Hudson would have melted her worries away and she would have soon found herself returning the smile before pulling him in for a kiss or a warm, reassuring hug. Rachel gravitated towards that boy like a bee to honey, not just because she was in love with him but because he was Finn; sweet, caring, affable Finn. He had that affect on everyone. The type of guy who had old ladies hooking their arms with his at the ice cream stand in the mall and who tossed a football around with his 8 year-old neighbour; the jock that had joined Glee club and despite her sometimes wild idiosyncrasies, loved her, "the diva" of the club. Half the time she felt she didn't deserve him and couldn't believe how lucky she was to have him.
Which was what made him standing there right now so hard- she felt like her time was up and fate was just teasing her, dangling him there in front of her for one last time. There was no way it would last now...
"Hey," Finn's voice had dropped a pitch and was soft, a tell-tale sign he was concerned.
She was screwed; there was no way she couldn't tell him now, he knew something was up.
"Babe...Are you crying?" Finn sat down beside her, dropping whatever he'd gotten at FAO Shwartz and had been excited to show her to the ground without a second thought.
"No," Rachel managed, though her wobbly voice betrayed her. She shook her head slightly as if that would aid in the convincing and glanced away from him.
But then she felt the warmth of his hand cupping her chin, the tips of his fingers gently turning her face towards him again.
"Really," he said, but not as a question.
Rachel finally looked him in the eye and immediately wished she hadn't; his brow was slightly raised there was so much in his eyes- love, concern, willingness to do or say whatever she needed. It was breaking her heart.
"I got in," she said.
Finn frowned slightly.
"What?"
"In," Rachel exhaled, "I got in." Then she held her breath because she was so close to losing it completely.
Finn's mouth twitched and his eyes squinted as it was clear he was trying to figure out what the Hell she was talking about, but before he could say anything, Rachel silently opened her bag, pulled out a thick manila envelope and handed it to him.
He looked puzzled at first, but then she saw his eyes land on the Ivy League crest indented in the top left corner. Realization unfurled his brow and he darted his eyes up at her before flipping the envelope over and quickly pulling out the thick letter enclosed within it.
The letter that she herself had stared at in disbelief for who knows how long, reading the top line over, and over, just to make sure she wasn't going crazy. Half of her wanted it to be untrue.
Dear Miss Berry,
With great pleasure, we would like to inform you that...
"...you have been accepted for admission into the Theater Arts program at Columbia University," Finn read out loud, his voice racing over the words.
He looked up at her, his mouth agape, his eyes wide. His lips twitched and then he chuckled once, before tilting his head back and letting out an exuberant, "HA!" and leaped up onto the bench.
Rachel blinked, and looked up at him in shock.
"MY GIRLFRIEND IS A GENIUS! HEY! HE- excuse me, sorry Miss, I didn't mean to scare you," Finn threw out an apologetic hand to the woman he had nearly smacked in the face while he was shouting. She scoffed at him and kept walking.
"Finn!"
Rachel hissed at him, grabbing at his pant leg, but to no avail. He just grinned down at her before cupping his hands, her acceptance letter squished into one of his fists.
"EXCUSE ME! EVERYBODY? HEY-HI! SO, I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU ALL KNOW, THAT MY GIRLFRIEND," at this he motioned down to Rachel, and put a hand over his heart, "THE AMAZING RACHEL BERRY, IS A GENIUS!"
Rachel clamped her eyes shut, then smiled awkwardly at an old man that had started to clap, all the while tugging at Finn's jeans.
"Finn, stop-"
"YOU BETTER GET YOUR AUTOGRAPHS NOW FOLKS, CAUSE SHE'S GONNA BE A STAR, JUST SAYIN," he put his hands up in a mockingly innocent gesture.
"Finn!"
Laughing, he jumped down onto the sidewalk.
"That's my girl," he said, pointing a finger at her with a look of complete and utter adoration but was suddenly distracted when a random passerby cat-called and whistled. "Hey!"
Rachel sighed exasperatedly, leaned forward to grab his hand and finally yanked him back down onto the bench beside her.
"What a jerk," he muttered, his eyes scanning the sea of people passing in front of them. "Anyways, where was I?"
"Finn, you're-"Rachel tried but he cut her off, grabbing her and kissing her passionately.
Despite herself, she kissed him back, almost desperately, sliding her arms around his neck, her fingers grasping at his hair. Finn hummed contentedly into her mouth, deepening the kiss and pulling her closer into his chest. She finally pulled away, both of them hungry for air and he leaned his head against hers, smiling like the Cheshire Cat.
Finn brushed a stand of hair from Rachel's brow and then enveloped her in his arms.
"I'm so proud of you," he whispered into her ear.
Rachel buried her face into the nape of his neck, her fingers curling his shirt into her hands, trying with all her might to stop the tears from coming, but being in his arms was too much. Within seconds, her whole body was shaking and she let out a small sob.
"Aw, baby," Finn murmured, kissing her shoulder. "I mean, I know it was a good speech and everything but," he broke off into a quiet chuckle. Rachel just hugged him tighter and cried.
Finn held her for a moment, before pulling back to look at her. She could barely make out his face, her vision was so blurred. He smiled, then pulled at the sleeve of his shirt, and used the hem to dab gently at her cheeks. She sighed shakily.
"I know it's overwhelming and everything," he said quietly, "But shouldn't you be happy right now?"
Rachel looked at him sadly, brought her hands up to take his wrists and gently pulled them away. Finn let her but the smile was slowly fading from his face.
"What is it?" he asked.
This was what she had been afraid of; in all the excitement of reading the words accepted and Ivy League, Finn hadn't fully come to realize what it all actually meant...and he had obviously skipped the part that had said special co-op program and summer semester.
She held his hands in her lap and took a deep breath.
"Finn, I got accepted to Columbia."
"Yeah, you did," he smiled back at her.
"Columbia University being here, in New York. Not Ohio."
She watched anxiously as it started to sink in for him, the sparkle fading from his eyes.
"Oh," he said, and glanced down at his hands entwined with hers, "Right."
He began to nod slowly, then cleared his throat and looked back up at her.
"OK, so, so we make it work. I can try and get more hours at Sheets and Things, maybe even get a second job over the summer, so I can save up for a car-"
Rachel slowly shook her head.
"Finn-"
"Actually, I'm pretty sure the Olive Garden will hire me now," he was mumbling, distracted with his thoughts again, not really looking at her.
She released her hands and brought them up to hold his face, getting his attention.
"It starts in the summer...in July."
He blinked at her.
"July?"
Rachel nodded. They just stared at one another for a moment, before she finally released his face and looked down.
"But," Finn reached up and dragged a hand through his hair, "But that's in like, a few weeks."
Rachel just nodded, staring absently at a hole in the knee of his jeans, her finger and thumb tracing over the F of her necklace.
Memories of their past year together, as an official couple, flashed across her mind. Finn constantly sticking up for her when things got nasty with the club over the whole Sunshine debacle, the duets competition that gave her a first glimpse of a more giving Rachel Berry-thanks to him, the Rocky Horror performance, which led to their first time together...and how ridiculously perfect and amazing it had been. The food fight in his kitchen when she had tried to teach him how to bake banana bread, sharing Christmas together, and how he had even shown up to her house wearing a yamika with 8 different presents under his arms. Finn endlessly trying to explain football to her and them agreeing she would finally watch on account of witnessing the Super bowl shuffle, only to have her fall asleep on his shoulder during the first 10 minutes of the game. Rachel's eyes welled up again, remembering when he had given her her claddagh ring for their 6-month anniversary, and how he had explained how perfect it was for them because she always had such a big heart and how he would always protect it, because he was her knight in shining armour. She knew there were more specifics to it than that, and maybe he did too, but honestly, his take on it had been so much better and so full of love. She glanced at left hand where he wore his matching ring, and saw that he was fiddling with it nervously.
"Rachel," his voice was serious and low.
She looked up at him, and felt another tear stream down her face.
"What do you wanna do?"