The Courage to Admit

by Ulquiorra9000

"Hey, look, big brother. It's starting to snow," Yuzu said one evening, early into Karakura high school's winter break. She pointed out the living room's front windows.

Ichigo, who was slouched on the couch with Rukia and a bowl of popcorn, craned his neck. "Where? I don't see it."

Rukia gently bopped him on the head. "Silly. You've gotta get up and look!" One the wide-screen television, a documentary about the Edo period resumed on a low volume.

"Then why don't you?" Ichigo teased her. "Lazybones..."

Rukia went pink. "That's not true."

"Oh yeah?"

Rukia got to her feet, dusted off her long-sleeved nightshirt, and shuffled over to the window. She beckoned, smiling. "C'mere and see this! It's really beautiful outside."

Ichigo groaned and joined his roommate, finally getting a peek at the large falling flakes. Already, there was a delicate layer of snow on the front lawn and the street beyond it, illuminated by the yellowish light of the street lamps.

Then Rukia stared. "Hey. Someone's coming!"

The doorbell rang, and Isshin came sprinting down the stairs like a maniac. "I'll get it!" he cried, adjusting his bow tie. He already wore his white coat. "Don't worry, guys!"

"They were closer. Why not let them get it?" Karin commented from the kitchen, halfway through a yogurt cup.

Isshin smoothed his hair and swung open the door. "Yes! May I help you?"

Ichigo stumbled back a step. "What the...? You?"

In the doorway stood a young woman with sheets of blue-green hair, large, friendly eyes, and a light blouse over her knee-length white skirt. She shivered.

Nelliel Tu Odelschwank?!

"Do come in!" Isshin said, backing up and spreading his arms wide. "The Kurosaki Clinic is always open for business! Now, how can I help -?"

"Ichigo! Finally!" Nelliel pounced like a leopard and wrapped Ichigo in a bone-crushing hug. Almost literally! Ichigo gasped and choked for air as he tried to force out a hello.

Rukia somehow pried the girl off of him. "Nelliel. It's nice to see you. But we didn't expect this at all."

Nelliel giggled and nervously clasped her hands behind her back. "Good evening, Ichigo, Rukia. I'm sorry to intrude, but..."

Isshin gasped, clapping both hands to his cheeks. "What! This beauteous maiden already knows my Ichigo?!" He stared incredulously at his son. "You didn't tell me you had a girlfr -"

A hasty kick sent Isshin crashing into the wall, and the man slumped comically to the carpet. "... friend," he finished weakly.

While Yuzu helped her dad get back up, Rukia shut the door and dusted the snow off of Nelliel. "You're shivering! It's early in December, you know. Why didn't you bring a coat?"

Nelliel flushed. "I didn't realize that winters were so cold here. I'm more used to Hueco -"

Ichigo was suddenly aware of his family listening in with those probing ears of theirs. He scowled and motioned to the stairs. "Let's take this to my room. And don't listen in," he added to Isshin and Yuzu on his way up the stairs with the girls. "Karin, hold 'em to that, okay?"

Karin saluted. "Of course!"

Isshin looked mortified.

Once Rukia shut Ichigo's bedroom door, Nelliel sat delicately on the corner of Ichigo's bed, hands folded in her lap. She looked out-of-place in more ways than one, chewing on her lower lip and glancing around.

Ichigo sat on his desk's swivel chair nearby while Rukia settled next to Nelliel, cross-legged. "So..." Ichigo started. "What brings -?"

"I need your help, Ichigo," Nelliel blurted out.

Ichigo blinked. "I... what?"

Nelliel toyed with the hem of her skirt. It was still a little damp from leftover snow. "Kisuke Urahara was kind enough to allow me into Karakura Town, and he opened a garganta for me," she said modestly. "It was a big favor to me. He told me how to find you both."

"Oh, for the love of..." Ichigo groaned as he imagined the cackling Kisuke giving away his address all over the place.

"Are you in trouble?" Rukia asked. She put a comforting hand on Nelliel's shoulder.

Nelliel shook her head. "No, but... he did give me this modified gigai to monitor me and make sure I behave." She smiled and patted her bare knee. "It's not a casual thing to have a powerful arrancar like me running around free."

"Hey, you're welcome to stay the night," Ichigo said, "but I'd like to know more of what -"

The bedroom door burst open, courtesy of Isshin's mighty kick. His daughters flanked him. "I heard that!" Isshin declared, fists on his hips, a Superman look on his face. "I am not one to deny hospitality!"

Ichigo went red and pointing an accusing finger. "Karin! What the hell!"

Karin smirked. "Sorry. But I got too curious myself."

"We didn't mean any harm by it," Yuzu said kindly.

"Sure you didn't," Ichigo muttered.

Isshin stomped right in. "Back to the matter at hand, people! Young lady, you're free to stay the night. And maybe the next! Are you hungry? My daughter Yuzu and I can fix you something, and maybe a bath, too?"

Nelliel jumped to her feet and clapped her hands. "Yes! Thank you, mister!"

"It's just Isshin," the man said, giving the thumbs-up. "Now, Rukia, why don't you draw up that bath, and Ichigo can figure out where he's gonna sleep."

Ichigo winced. "Hold on -"

"Big brother!" Yuzu said indignantly. "Of course you ought to lend her your bed, at least for tonight."

Rukia nodded. "It's only fair."

Yuzu pointed at her brother. "I'll find blankets for you, Ichigo, but what kind of host doesn't offer the best accomodations -"

Nelliel held out a hand. "Hang on! What's wrong with Ichigo and me sharing the bed?"

Ichigo fell out of his swivel chair in shock, his face warm. "Nelliel! That's... that's...!" he sputtered from the floor.

"Chivalrous of you? Definitely," Rukia said with a teasing smile as she offered a hand to help Ichigo back up. "Come on, that living room couch is plenty comfortable. You'll be fine."

Ichigo got to his feet and grimaced. "Not how I thought my night would go. But okay. Bed's all yours, Nelliel."

Isshin nodded. "Nelliel, you said? A fine name! So, young miss... do you go to the high school too?"

Nelliel shook her head. "No, I'm from Hueco Mun -"

Rukia clapped a hand over Nelliel's mouth with a bracing smile on her face. "She's a transfer student, Mr. Kurosaki," she said hastily.

"Whatever you say," Isshin said mysteriously. He headed out. "Okay, Yuzu, let's prepare a big dinner for miss Nelliel!"

"Will do!" Yuzu said, pumping a fist as she followed her father.

Karin was left standing in the doorframe. She shook her head with a grin on her face. "You could stand to be a little smoother, big brother," she noted.

Ichigo stomped a foot. "Out, if you please!"

Karin's teasing smile didn't fade as she left and shut the door again behind her.

An awkward silence fell.

"Well... I'll draw up that bath," Rukia said, rubbing the back of her head. "How hot do you like the water, Nelliel?"

"Scalding!" Nelliel said happily.

Ichigo snorted. Nelliel's intensity never failed to surprise him.

*o*o*o*o*

To everyone's surprise, Nelliel munched down four people's worth of food in one sitting and was still asking for more when Isshin and Yuzu admitted that they were exhausted from cooking for Nelliel's huge appetite.

"You have the most wonderful friends, Ichigo," Yuzu commented at some point as Ichigo prepped the couch for sleep.

"No kidding," Ichigo muttered, fluffing his pillow and spreading his blankets. "Well... 'night, everyone." He shut off the lights and settled in.

He felt himself drifting off...

Then felt something heavy weight down on him!
"What the...!" Ichigo fought against the sudden weight, and he realized that it was already morning, with gold sunlight glowing through the window blinds. Was he still halfway in a dream?

Then he realized that Nelliel had draped herself over him, fast asleep!

Ichigo's embarassed thoughts were too scrambled up to decipher.

"Good morning, Ichi - whoa!" came Yuzu's voice. Then Ichigo, through the tangle of bodies, saw his little sister trying to pry Nelliel off of him.

"Careful!" Ichigo cried.

"Get... off... him!" Yuzu grunted, but she couldn't budge the houseguest.

Nelliel yawned widely without covering her mouth. "Oh. Good morning, Yuzu. Sleep well?"

"Better than me, probably," Ichigo muttered, his face smushed against Nelliel's curvacious body.

Yuzu went pink and tapped Nelliel on the head with a rice spoon. "This isn't proper, Nelliel! Why aren't you in Ichigo's bed? You're squishing him!"

"But he's my friend." Nelliel maneuvered around Ichigo's prone form until she lay beside him, wrapping her strong arms around him. "I don't wanna sleep alone!"

Ichigo winced. "D-did you just crawl out of bed and sneak to my couch in the middle of the night?"

"No, it was as soon as you fell asleep," Nelliel said with a giggle. "You drifted right off! So we spent the whole night together. It was fun."

At that moment, Rukia came down the stairs and stared with her violet eyes. "Ichigo! Nelliel! What are you doing?"

"Don't get any funny ideas, okay?" Ichigo pried himself from Nelliel's grip and stood up, but he was totally numb by now, and he collapsed like a sack of potatoes. He groaned in dismay from the floor.

Breakfast was definitely an awkward affair after all that.

Finally, after everyone was dressed, Isshin rubbed his hands together. "So, Nelliel... we Kurosakis are a fun bunch. Why don't we all go out today and get to know each other better? Any friend of Ichigo's is a friend of mine."

Nelliel bowed her head. "If it's not too much to ask, I'd like to visit Ikkada-naru, and see all the sights. I've always wanted to visit it, if it's not asking too much."

Ichigo tilted his head. Why there? Ikkada-naru was a pleasant, old-fashioned town close to Karakura Town and just two hours away by train. Sure, there were some neat Shinto shrines and some greenhouse gardens, but Ichigo felt that Nelliel had something else in mind for today.

Isshin, naturally, missed that entirely. He spread his arms wide. "Fantastic! You have great taste, young lady. My late wife Masaki and I went there for our one-year wedding anniversary! Of course we'll all go. Pack your stuff, people. Day trip!"

Karin made a funny face. "Not even a vote, I see."

"Cheer up," Yuzu told her. "I've always wanted to visit, you know."

Rukia caught Ichigo's eye and both nodded slightly at each other. No way did Nelliel come all the way from Hueco Mundo just to see Ikkada-naru's popular greenhouses and variety shops.

*o*o*o*o*

There was definitely a lot of traffic, since many students were on break, but Isshin managed to lead his party to the train station in one piece, and the snowy countryside flashed past as Ichigo stared out the train's windows. He didn't dare ask Nelliel why she so badly wanted to visit Ikkada-naru, but Isshin's running commentary and Karin's exasperated counter-points filled up the trip just fine.

"Ah, just as I remember it!" Isshin declared as he led the party across the town's bustling main street, an old-fashioned brick road with traditional shops and shrines on either side. "What a pleasant vibe, isn't it?"

"It's lovely," Yuzu said, shielding her eyes from the noon sun as she looked around. "Oh... is that a lake?"

Up ahead was the town's largest Shinto shrine, situated on a tiny island a few hundred feet off the island's shore. A massive red torii gate stood over the crowded wooden bridge that led to the shrine's front.

"Oh, and that's Mr. Sekku's famous dumpling shop!" Isshin hollered, pointing down the street at a shop with a garishly overdecorated sign over it. "I look Masaki there once... she took a spicy dumpling by mistake and she -"

"Spare me," Karin groaned.

Ichigo got an idea. He clapped a hand on Isshin's broad shoulder. "Hey, pops... why don't you take the girls to see the sights, and Rukia and Nelliel and me will meet you later?"

Isshin nodded vaguely, still babbling about those apparently amazing dumplings as he escorted his daughters down the street.

Rukia smiled. "He never stops talking, does he?" Then her face softened. "Is there someone you wanted to see here, Nelliel?"

"Um..." Nelliel nervously clasped her hands at her navel and she stared down at her shoes. "Of a sort. More like I wanted to see a... thing. That big shrine. Can we visit it first, please?"

"Sure. Assuming we can survive this crowd," Ichigo commented, noting how popular that island shrine was today. Still, the three of them made their way across the wooden bridge, and once a space cleared up at the shrine's entrance, Nelliel went first and performed the correct rites. Then, she pressed her hands together, head bowed, eyes closed.

"It's been more years than I can count," she said quietly, "but I haven't ever forgotten. Today, I pay respects to your memories, and pray forgive... forgiveness for what I have done." Tears trickled down her cheeks.

Ichigo shared another glance with Rukia; what was Nelliel talking about?

"I can only... only beg you..." Nelliel's shoulders and voice both shook. "I p-plead for your forgiveness, here, now at this s-sacred site. I can only..."

She broke into sobs and stepped away to a private corner, wiping her cheeks. "Sorry," she muttered. "I..."

Rukia gently took hold of Nelliel's shoulders. "You don't have to explain yourself to us if you don't want to. It's okay."

Nelliel sniffed and smiled weakly. "Actually, I'd rather you know." She cleared her throat and tossed her hair. "I was born and raised in this town as a human. I don't remember year it was, but I died when I was twenty from a nasty illness that swept through the area. My parents died too, and in my anguish, I became a hollow." Her eyes were distant. "It was... such a strange and horrible feeling, being morphed and twisted into that thing."

Ichigo swallowed. "That's horrible."

"I... the first thing I did was look for souls," Nelliel told them in a subdued tone. "I found this man and his young daughter, alone and frightened. I remember the father shielding his little daughter from me, but I was still out of control from my recent transformation. I... I ate them both."

Rukia gave Nelliel's shoulders a fond squeeze. "I've seen many hollows eat human souls before. I know how horrible it can be."

"Yes. And when I realized what I did, I... I ran off, and I vowed to not eat any more human souls," Nelliel said, her voice stronger. "I only ate other hollows after that. I couldn't forget the looks on that man's face, and his daughter's, when I attacked them. By eating hollows, I, well... merged with more and became a Gillian, then an Adjucha. And I still refused to eat humans. I wasn't an animal on the inside, even if I was one in body. I felt the same way as an Espada. Nnoitora Gilga couldn't understand that."

Ichigo nodded. "I remember what Nnoitora said in Las Noches. He found you infuriating."

Nelliel's watery smile came back. "I wasn't the same breed of arrancar that he was." Then her face fell. "Being here again... I can hardly believe it."

Then she fixed her eyes on Ichigo. "Ichigo, I wanted you and Rukia to see this... to see my repetance for my life as a hollow. I hoped that you'd see another side of me." She glanced down. "But I can't stop being a hollow, can I?"

"Well, uh..." Ichigo glanced at Rukia, who nodded. Ichigo lifted Nelliel's chin. "C'mon, Nelliel, you saved my life in Las Noches! You even helped me get to that fortress so I could rescue Orihime Inoue. Without you, I couldn't have stopped Sosuke Aizen."

Nelliel sniffed. "I-I... well..."

"I never met that dad and his kid, but I bet they'd like what you told them just now," Ichigo said with a quick smile. He felt a chilly breeze pick up. "And you know, there's a Bruce Lee quote about this -"

Rukia cleared her throat. "I'm sorry?"

"Hang on, it's a good one!" Ichigo said hastily. "Nelliel, Bruce Lee once said 'mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.' I think you did a great thing, Nelliel, by honoring those two townsfolk. I can tell it's been weighing down on you. Do you feel any better?"

Nelliel swallowed and glanced around at the town and its cheery tourists. She nodded. "I... I think I do. Your 'Bruce Lee' guy must have been very wise."

And a great fighter, Ichigo thought.

Then Nelliel sprang and enveloped Ichigo in another monster hug, and this time, Ichigo was sure that a rib cracked.

"I feel so much better! Thank you, Ichigo! And thank Bruce Lee, too!" Nelliel sobbed happily.

"P-people are staring!" Ichigo choked out, going red. "Nelliel... c'mon -!"

"That's enough, honey," Rukia said firmly, and she tried to pry Nelliel off Ichigo. Tried.

"Hey, there you guys are -" came Isshin's voice. Then he stepped closer and gasped in delight. "Ichigo! I knew it... you and miss Nelliel really are items!"

"It's an item," Karin corrected, munching on dumplings on a stick. "At least say it right, dad."

Yuzu gasped, too. "Nelliel, have you been crying?"

Nelliel finally released Ichigo and wiped her cheeks. "Some dust got blown in my eyes," she invented. "I'm fine." She beamed. "So, Mr. Kurosaki! Are there any games or candy shops around here? We came all this way... let's have some fun around here!"

Rukia rolled her eyes. "And we're right back to little Nel mode."

"Yeah, no kidding," Ichigo muttered back as the group trekked back across the bridge to the town's merry streets. "She hasn't changed at all. But you know what? I wouldn't want her to."

The End.