Fall and Rise
by SMYGO4EVA
As far as she knew, Nautica could do many things.
She could be Firestar's confidant. She could smile at the dancer whenever she happened to pass by, something warm and familiar. She could just let Firestar wait for her to "catch up" and not ride any coattails, as she had said. Nautica could simply stay by Firestar's side and pretend that she wouldn't be anywhere else.
However, she couldn't love her.
Maybe if this was before all the space adventures. Maybe if they hadn't sworn to the Oath of Constancy, under such pressure, maybe then she could. Perhaps if she went back further; maybe if she'd never come to Caminus, never met Firestar, maybe if she had ever spoken vows and then suddenly take off to the Lost Light.
Maybe then.
They were too different. They still were friends. She just could not find a scenario where it did not end with her getting left behind in some form or another.
Rather than have her suffer the Camien sin of platonic severance, she still gave Firestar the benefit of the doubt, and in extension, to herself.
For now, Nautica would do whatever it took to survive on the Lost Light. For the team, for Firestar and for herself – to live, breathe, move on, to fall and rise, and finally push forward.