A/N: Okay, I know it's been months since I've been active. Two finales have gone by as well, though last night's was pretty epic. Anyway, this'll be a oneshot, unless anyone reading right now wants another chapter. Leave a comment about that, and I'll put another one up!
Disclaimer: I don't own Blindspot. There's no way I'm a genius like the writers.
"Kurt, why don't you just forgive her?" Allie asked him boldly after the party. Everyone had left already, chattering happily and wishing her luck with her pregnancy.
Kurt simply stared at her, pausing in picking up a few napkins. The guests had cleaned up as best they could after themselves, of course, but some things just slip by their notice. After all, it's not like they're professional cleaners or anything.
"Kurt?" Allie pressed, sweeping pink crumbs from the counter and into a garbage bag.
"Allie," Kurt murmured gruffly, "it's not that simple."
Apparently disagreeing with a pregnant woman wasn't the best choice.
"What do you mean, 'it's not that simple'?" Allie demanded. "Kurt, she saved me and, by extension, saved our kid. I understand that she's done a few things that hurt you and the team, but she was trying to protect. Jane's not the kind of person who would stand by on the sidelines if someone was in danger, especially her team."
"She betrayed me and the team in the worst way possible, A," Kurt interjected, trying to diffuse the US Marshal's temper.
"So?!As far as I've seen, she's been working her butt off doing God knows whatever you're into, risking her life daily. I know that you and the team are hurt by her betrayal, but this is still the Jane you knew months ago. The same Jane who wouldn't hesitate to forgive and trust one of you again if you did the same thing." Granted, Jane would probably hesitate for a little while, but that's beside the point. Allie knew that the amnesiac would try and mend that broken trust as soon as possible.
Kurt remained silent, waiting for Allie to finish. Interrupting, as he just tried to do, would only make it worse. To keep his hands busy, he continued picking up the napkins.
"Kurt."
The alpha male raised his blue eyes to hers.
"Kurt," Allie continued softly, "have you looked at Jane closely recently?" Judging by the look on his face, he probably hadn't. "She has dark circles under her eyes, and she's way too thin to be healthy. She's been impacted by these last few months more than any of you have, and you know it, Kurt. You know Jane's probably been beating herself up over her actions and losing the trust of you and the team. Plus she's been in a CIA blacksite for three months. What do you think they did in there?" She hadn't meant for the last bit to sound sarcastic, but if that's what kicked Kurt into action, then all the better.
"Jane's situation isn't something that we come across daily," Kurt started wearily, depositing napkins into the garbage bag in Allie's hand. "The team's beginning to warm up a little to her again, but that's going to take a lot of time. Jane's not...She's not the same exact Jane, Allie. She's more hardened, more determined. Not the empathetic Jane we knew when she first came out of that bag."
Allie silently sighed in frustration. Jane had pretty much saved her life, and she'd be damned if she didn't return the favour. Kurt was making that really difficult.
"You need to understand what it's like to be Jane right now, Kurt. We all know that no one's going to be able to come out of a blacksite and be fine. But Jane...I'm worried about her. There's a resigned air around her, as if she knows that she won't survive. Like she's given up. Have you ever known Jane to give up?" Allie pleaded. "She's running on autopilot, Assistant Director, and you're telling me you haven't noticed?"
Kurt started when he heard that, taking the garbage bag from Allie and continuing his cleanup. No, he actually hadn't noticed. Or rather, he hadn't cared. Jane had been coming in every day, and as long as she was able to do her job, he deemed she was fine. He ignored the little voices in his head that told him she wasn't, simply brushing it off as lingering feelings for the tattooed woman. Now that Allie brought it up, he knew that the voices inside his head were right. His instincts don't fail him very often, Mayfair said so herself. How much damage could he have prevented if he had just asked Jane how she was doing?
He watched as his brain replayed memories of his treatment of Jane, watched as he sent glares toward her at every possible moment, watched as he said that he didn't want to be in the same room as her. Kurt hated himself at that moment. He wanted to take back all those words, but he couldn't. The least he could do would be to make sure Jane's alright.
But she betrayed you! She killed Mayfair! A voice inside his head screamed.
Maybe she did,his rational side taking over, but you know Jane. You know she wouldn't do anything like that without a reason.
I used to know her, his irrational voice said. Not anymore.
She's blaming herself already, you idiot. It's clear as day. You at least don't have to add to it. Besides, you're the Assistant Director and team leader. Don't set an example for all of the other team members, don't make them think that they have to only tolerate Jane because you only tolerate Jane, his rational voice reasoned calmly.
Allie could see Kurt alternating between feelings of remorse, regret, and slight anger. She sighed, using a damp cloth to wipe the tables and counters down. Jane and Kurt never had it easy. Between her own pregnancy and whatever was going on with Nas, she thought it was a miracle Jane's feelings held out. The fleeting hurt on the other woman's face when she had found out that Allie was pregnant was heartbreaking, and the US Marshal wondered if Kurt's feelings for Jane still held out, too.
"I'm not gonna lie and say I have, A," Kurt broke the silence that had engulfed them, holding the plastic bag so tightly Allie thought he was going to disintegrate it. "But Jane knows her limits. Not that she doesn't need someone checking up on her now and then, but she's a big girl. She can handle herself."
Well, Allie thought, that's a far cry from what he was doing a few months ago. Whether he was unconsciously doing it or not, even Rich Dotcom picked up on it. "Can she, Kurt? Jane went through CIA torture. Anything compared to that might seem like a slight annoyance."
"Alright, look," Kurt began placatingly, "I'll talk to her tomorrow. Check up on her, make sure she's doing okay." He felt pretty horrible, almost wanting to throw up. Would he have let this continue if Allie hadn't said anything? He hadn't even bothered to evaluate Jane's mental health, let alone her physical health. God, what had he done?
"You should have done that weeks ago."
"I know I should have, Allie." Kurt ran his free hand through his hair. "I know."
Allie's eyes softened. "You're human, Kurt. Bound to make mistakes. Don't beat yourself up over this.
The look in those blue eyes said it all. His next words were unnecessary. "I should be beating myself up over this. If it was Jane in my place, and me in hers, she would have checked up on me. I failed her, Allie, just like I failed her so many months ago, when Carter tortured her."
"You didn't fail her, Kurt, and you won't if you go make sure she's okay." Allie's voice was soothing and quiet as she dropped the washcloth in the sink. Kurt joined her at the counter, depositing the black plastic bag in his hand into the garbage can.
Silence surrounded both of them as they surveyed the spotless living space.
"Thanks, Allie," Kurt's quiet voice shattered the peaceful quiet.
Allie inwardly smiled. Looks like she'll be able to return the favour after all.
"You're welcome, Kurt. Make sure she's okay."
A/N: Hope it's okay! There were some issues with formatting, so please excuse any weird mistakes. Otherwise, all mistakes are mine. As usual, feel free to leave a review!
