disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling does. (Even though I would like to.) The song lyrics in this chapter are from "Sugar We're Goin' Down" by Fallout Boy. I am NOT one of them.

warnings: song lyrics, cussing, violence, and sexual jokes. For mature audiences only. Also, since HBP would originally have a big influence on this fic, it doesn't. I have chosen to keep Dumbledore alive, and make Sirius also be alive. Just a heads-up so people won't exactly be leaving me remarks telling me that they died, and they should not be in this story. Voldemort is dead, and so is Draco's father. So, don't try to prove you know more than me.If you do, I will kindly tell you to read this little bit right here. Thank you.

Yourfavoritemalfoy

Prologue

"Is this more then you bargained for yet, oh, don't mind me. I'm watching you two from the closet
Wishing to be the friction in your jeans," Hermione sang, walking through the hallways aimlessly. She loved Muggle songs, and nothing would stop her from singing in her 7th year. Plus, she was happy, she had just been announced Head Girl. So that made her even happier. The Head Boy was Ernie MacMillan, but that didn't bother her much. She could just ignore him. She smiled, still walking."Isn't it messed up how I'm just dying to be him! I'm just a notch in your bedpost but you're just a line in a song," she sang louder, walking.

She was getting close to the Great Hall, which she dreaded now. The 7th Year boys, especially Malfoy, have big egos, every single one of them. It showed at the Sorting Ceremony, all the boys were talking and bragging a great deal more than the girls. She actually heard Harry whisper to Ron,"No, if anyone could get Hermione, it would be me!" So, she had ditched her best friends in hopes they would get their heads on straight. Not a good idea, it turned out.

Hermione had been stopping a lot of fights between the two boys. Oddly enough, a lot of the 7th Year girls had been stopping fights between the boys often, most of the fights physical. It was widely known ever since Voldemort had been beaten, the boys decided that they were all tough. It annoyed the girls, since all of them had been the target of boy's affections at least once, and the boys could not understand why the girls did not want them. So, the girls moved in packs, the boys moved alone.

Hermione kept singing loudly and off-key, sounding like an opera singer on crack. "Drop a heart and break a name, we're always sleeping in and sleeping for the wrong team!" She practically yelled. She burst into the Great Hall, everyone looking at her. She had grown more confident (and also very pretty) over the summer. She strode over to the Gryffindor table, sitting next to Lavendar and Parvarti. Lavendar was grumbling about "dirty red-heads" and Parvarti was quick to explain. "Ron hit on her again," she said sadly. "He tried to kiss her. And she slapped him." Sure enough, Ron was looking angry, his pride tarnished, and had a big red mark on one cheek. Hermione giggled. Harry and Ron looked over to her, flashing her big grins and standing up. "Oh, god, I gotta go," Hermione whispered quickly to Lavendar and Parvarti, standing up and striding out of the Great Hall.

"'Morning, Hermione," Harry said, him and Ron walking beside her. Shit, they caught up, Hermione though. "Morning," she mumbled. Ron flashed her another grin. "Wanna come to the Quidditch stadium? We were just about to head out there," Ron said confidently.

"No, I don't I, erm, have homework," she said quickly, slapping herself mentally, for it was the day after the sorting, no one had homework.

"Really? I didn't know we had classes," Harry said, stopping Hermione and getting close to her.

Hermione brushed past them, mumbling, "Well, I do."

Ron grabbed her arm. "Cmon, 'Mione, give some guys a little company," he said seductively.

Hermione stopped, and glared. "I don't want to give you puffed-up prats company," She said, walking again, leaving Harry and Ron looking dissapointed.

NEXT DAY

Hermione walked into the Great Hall, singing Fallout Boy again. "Am I more then you bargained for yet, I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear, cause that's just who I am this week!" she said loudly, flopping down in a seat, not noticing how all the boys were looking at at least one other boy in a murderous way. "Hello," she said to the 7th year girls she was sitting with.

"Erm, 'Mione, all the boys are staring at you now, not each other," Lavendar whispered. Hermione looked around.,and sure enough, the boys were staring at her, no doubt because of her dismal singing career. The boys then went back to staring at one another, and Hermione did notice their facial features this time.

"They look murderous," she whispered to Ginny, sitting opposite her. "They are, look at Harry and Ron," Ginny replied casually, pointing down the table at them. Harry and Ron were locked in a fierce looking glaring fight, each looking the worst to different people.

"I bet 10 galleons on Harry if they fight," Ginny said, grinning and sipping some pumpkin juice. Hermione laughed. "I'll bet you on that one," she said, but it was not heard over the sudden yells of the 7th year boys, who started attacking each other. The girls started screaming, and the teachers looked mutinous. Dumbledore, surprisingly, also looked like he was at his wit's end.

Hermione looked around her, watching Seamus bang Dean's head against the table, and Dean, in turn, kicking Seamus's legs out from under him and starting to punch him repeatedly. Hermione then looked over, and saw Harry knocking the stuffing out of Ron. Ron wasn't giving up though, as he kicked Harry and they went at it fiercer than before.

A loud, deep yell was heard throughout the Great Hall, making everyone stop in their tracks. Everyone looked up at Dumbledore.

"ENOUGH!" he yelled, looking angry. "YOU BOYS WANT TO PROVE TO BE AS HIGH AND MIGHTY AS YOU THINK YOU ARE? WE'LL SEE HOW YOU HANDLE WITH HER!" The boys' faces lightened as they heard 'her', which obviously meant a girl. "Minerva, fix up these boys, I must write a letter!" Dumbledore walked out of the Great Hall, no doubt heading to his office to write a letter.

Dumbledore arrived in his office, and threw Floo Powder into the fireplace, and stepped into it, yelling, " SALEM'S INSTITUTE FOR WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY!" Then disappeared.