FLASH.
The lightning storm didn't seem to be letting up, and the entire task force building was under the threat of completely losing power. L and Light continued to work, as did the rest of the task force.
"I've been doing some thinking about the age and social class of the current Kira, Light-kun."
"I've been thinking about that as well, and have come up with some theories."
At that moment, a deeper voice interrupted. It was Watari. "Here is the coffee that you requested, Yagami-san."
Watari held out a cup to Light. "Oh, thank you." However, when he reached out a hand to accept it, the lights flashed off.
As if in response to the darkness, something—Matsuda—collided with L, hard. He had tripped over his own feet, and gracelessly fell onto the detective. Matsuda immediately leapt up and began apologizing, followed by the lights flickering back on.
"That was peculiar," Light commented.
"Indeed," L said, ignoring Matsuda.
"Maybe we should call it a night, Ryuzaki," Light suggested. The rest of the task force sighed in relief.
"If Light-kun wishes to go to sleep, I will not object, though I will continue working on my laptop."
"Fair enough."
L turned to the rest of the team. "You all may go home if you wish; however, I do implore you to be careful on the roads."
The next morning, Matsuda awoke to the dim grey of sunlight shining through the blinds. He rolled over, intending to go back to sleep, only to find that Light was lying right next to him.
Why the fuck is Light-kun in my bed? Matsuda thought, confused. What happened last night?
It was then that he noticed a pair of handcuffs cuffed to his wrist.
What on Earth and Mars?
It didn't take long for him to notice that the chain had him linked to Light. Needless to say, he was very, very confused.
"Light-kun?" he tried, and found that his voice was smoother than normal. What had happened last night?
He shook Light a bit. This time, the boy's eyes snapped open.
"Light-kun?" Matsuda repeated. "Why are you in my bed?"
Light appeared to be confused. "What? I'm…I'm not Light."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm…Watari."
So, apparently Light was much more confused than he appeared.
"What the fuck?"
"Ryuzaki, I don't know how to better explain it. I. Am. Watari," Light claimed, absurdly. "Why am I handcuffed to you?"
"Whoa, I'm not Ryuzaki. I'm Matsuda."
"…"
"…"
"We have a problem," Watari stated.
"…"
Matsuda didn't know what to say. He looked down at his clothing, noticing that it was L's clothing. There was a laptop plugged in on the table next to him, closed. This definitely wasn't his room, his bed. Also discerning to him was his hair—it was much too scraggly to belong to him.
"Wait, then where is the actual Ryuzaki and Light?" Matsuda, as L, wondered.
After a moment of silence, they both jumped out of bed and rushed out the door in the direction of Matsuda's room.
They flung open the door, and Matsuda, as L, was horrified to find what appeared to be himself startle out of bed. The body-thief wore only a pair of boxers.
"Light-kun? …B-Beyond…?" he stammered, confusion written upon his face. He rubbed his eyes and blinked a few times.
"Are you Ryuzaki?" Matsuda, as L, asked.
"Who else would I be? What is going on?"
"I'm you," Matsuda explained.
"That makes no logical sense."
"None of this makes logical sense," Watari, as Light, chimed in.
"Who are you, then?" L, as Matsuda, asked.
"Watari."
"Who am I?" he looked down at himself.
"You're me," Matsuda explained.
A calculating look that appeared very out of place on Matsuda's body fell upon L's face, and suddenly his eyes widened. "Where's Light?"
L jumped, again, to his feet and dashed out the door, forgetting the fact that he was wearing nothing but a pair of boxers. He ran right through the middle of the main monitoring room, where Soichiro was sipping his morning coffee.
When the chief witnessed what appeared to be Matsuda running around almost naked, with L and Light chasing after him, he groaned and muttered to himself, "I refuse to deal with this so early in the morning," before sitting down in his seat.
L, as Matsuda, burst into Watari's room, only to find what appeared to be Watari lying asleep in his dark-blue nightgown.
"Light!" L, as Matsuda, said loudly in a stern tone of voice.
"Wha—?" Light's eyes opened. "…Matsuda?"
L, as Matsuda, slid under the bed and grabbed a pair of handcuffs (from seemingly nowhere) before proceeding to cuff himself to Light, as Watari.
"Why are you handcuffing yourself to me? Where's Ryuzaki?"
"I am Ryuzaki," L, as Matsuda, declared. As if to prove his point, Matsuda, as L, and Watari, as Light, shuffled in.
Looking at himself, Light, as Watari, said, "You're shitting me. What the hell?"
"No, Light-kun. I am not, as a matter of fact, 'shitting you'," L, as Matsuda, air-quoted. "You are currently Watari."
L, with some difficulty, sat in his regular crouch upon Watari's bed. "Matsuda, you are so inflexible," he muttered, in complaint.
"Well, it's not like I sit like you on a daily basis," Matsuda, as L, said, in protest.
Light, on the other hand, was inwardly freaking out. "I'm balding," he cried, touching his head, as if it were the end of the world. "I…I have wrinkles!"
"I'm sorry for being old," Watari, as Light, said, solemnly.
"You're me?"
"So it seems."
"The most important thing," L, as Matsuda, said, taking charge, "is figuring out why this happened, so that we can possibly reverse it. Does anyone have any ideas?"
Everyone looked up at him hopefully, as if he knew some magical method that they failed to see.
"…Right, then. It appears that no one has any ideas."
"As far as I know," Watari, as Light, began, "there has never been any other cases of this nature. This is most likely an isolated incident."
"Yes, that's precisely what I've been thinking."
"What are we going to do about this?" Matsuda, as L, asked.
It was silent for a moment, before L said, "We act as our given characters—at least, for today. We do not want the task force to be involved or to know anything about this, for obvious reasons."
"I agree with Ryuzaki," Light, as Watari, stated.
"Wait, Ryuzaki…" Matsuda, as L, began. "How are you going to explain why it looks like I'm handcuffed to Watari?"
"Actually," L said, "you are me, so you're the one who has to explain it. Just make something up—I do that all the time."
"Um…okay…"
Watari, as Light, piped up, "Perhaps we should get back to the monitoring room. If we take much longer, the chief will start to wonder what is going on back here. First, though, I suggest that Ryuzaki gets dressed."
L looked down at himself, as if realizing for the first time that he was wearing nothing but boxers.
"…Yes, I agree," he said.
Soichiro sat, reading the paper and drinking his coffee, attempting to relax. Just as he was beginning to forget about the odd scene he had fallen witness to earlier, Matsuda and Watari emerged, walking through the monitoring room handcuffed together, with Matsuda marching in front in his boxers and Watari trailing slowly behind him.
After staring for a few moments, the chief decided that it was still too early in the morning for this, downed the rest of his coffee, and returned to his newspaper.
"Why are Matsuda and Watari handcuffed together?" a very confused Aizawa asked.
"Oh," Matsuda, as L, stammered, "th-that's because, this morning, Matsuda was found to have very suspicious items on his, um, person. I handcuffed him to Watari because, well, now he won't be able to do it again."
Soichiro thought back to earlier that morning and raised an eyebrow. "Wasn't Matsuda naked?"
"Oh, um, it was hiding in his, um…boxers."
"…"
Everyone turned their attention to L, as Matsuda. L pretended to be abashed, and didn't say anything.
"Ryuzaki, what do you want me to do? Like, for the Kira investigation." Matsuda, as L, whispered to L, as Matsuda. They were in the middle of the monitoring room, but everyone else was ignoring them, as they were doing their own things.
L, as Matsuda, whispered back, "Just play solitaire."
Matsuda, as L, pulled back and exclaimed loudly, "What?"
Everyone in the task force looked up at him. Matsuda, as L, got red in the face and returned his attention to L, as Matsuda. His voice became again a whisper. "But I thought we were supposed to be working on the Kira case?"
"There's nothing new," L explained. "Solitaire is what Light-kun and I have been doing for the past week."
"Uhhh…alright…"
Matsuda, as L, returned to his seat and attempted to sit in a crouch, as L does. However, he hadn't quite managed to get the balance part of the whole act down, and proceeded to fall over, onto the floor.
"Ryuzaki, are you okay?" Soichiro asked, concerned.
"Oh!" Matsuda, as L, exclaimed, quickly picking himself up off the ground. "Uhh...oh, I'm fine."
"Are you feeling alright?"
L, as Matsuda, shot him a glare that made him nervous as well as suggested that he had better say something to preserve his dignity.
"Oh!" Matsuda, as L, said again, nervously, "I am a-okay. I'm…I'm good, I'm a man, I'm just perfect."
Everyone stared at him oddly, all wondering what the fuck was wrong with L. Breaking the silence, Aizawa muttered, "Sexist foreigners," and walked out of the room.
L, as Matsuda, facepalmed.
It was lunchtime, and L, Matsuda, Watari, and Light conjoined in a private room.
"Alright," Light, as Watari, said, "let's put our heads together and start thinking of ways to possibly fix this."
"Don't you mean, you and L put your heads together while Watari and I sit back and wait for you two to get a good idea?" Matsuda asked.
"…No, I believe Light-kun means that we all put our heads together," L informed.
"…Right. So, what if we all run into each other really fast?" Matsuda suggested.
"That's a terrible idea," L stated.
"But, Ryuzaki," Light chimed in, "I don't think any idea any of us might have is a terrible idea, because, as stated earlier, we do not know what we're dealing with. I feel that it is worth it to try everything we can."
L shot him his best "fuck you, Light" glare, but then conceded. "Fine, let's all ram into each other at high speeds to see if we somehow jolt back into our original bodies."
Not noticing the sarcasm, Matsuda exclaimed, happily, "Okay!"
Lining up to each face "themselves", they got in position to run at each other.
"Ready," Light counted down, "set, go."
A conundrum of smacks and groans filled the air as they all knocked each other over onto the ground.
"Well, that didn't work," Matsuda commented, unnecessarily.
"What did I tell you?" L grumbled, standing back up.
"It was worth a shot," Light said, ever the optimist.
"Okay, so, now where does that leave us?" Watari asked, also unnecessarily.
"Square one," L answered.
"Hey guys," Matsuda, as L, said. He was eying a safety pin that was on the ground. "I wonder if what we do in these bodies stays with us even after we get our normal bodies back."
"It wouldn't make sense if they didn't," L, as Matsuda, said.
"Well, let's test that theory out. I'll pierce an ear on Ryuzaki's body with this safety pin, and see," Matsuda as L said, reaching down to pick up the pin.
He positioned it in front of his ear, and was about to push it in when suddenly Light, as Watari, grabbed his wrist.
"NO," he said, sternly. "No, no, no."
"Light-kun?"
"You are not going to pierce Ryuzaki's ears. That is my body—mine," Light, as Watari, declared.
"Uhh…no it isn't. It's L's body," Matsuda, as L, tried to reason.
"Which makes it my body. L's body is mine. I can do whatever I want to his body. See this?" Light, as Watari, proceeded to smash his lips against Matsuda's. "See? I can do that if I want to. Just watch me!" He began making out with L's body deeper, and more violently.
He was interrupted by a loud, "Holy shit."
They all immediately turned to look up at Aizawa, who was standing, petrified, in the doorway.
"I…can explain," Light, as Watari, said, slowly.
"I…actually…really don't want to know," Aizawa said, weakly. He began walking stiffly, but quickly, away.
Light slowly began to recognize the presence of everyone else in the room, as well as what he had just done. He opened his mouth to give some sort of an explanation, but L interjected with, "Is Light-kun feeling alright?"
"Of course I'm not alright!" Light cried, in despair. "I'm in an old man's body, I just made out with your body, and Matsuda was in it, which is just not right, and Aizawa saw, and I don't know what's wrong with me!"
L paused. "Judging from that, many things." L, as Matsuda, put a hand on Watari, as Light's, arm. "Light-kun needs to calm down."
Slowly, Light, as Watari, nodded. "Yes, I guess we should just go back to the monitoring room and act as normal as we can."
"Yes."
"Ryuzaki, can you again specify what exactly is the difference between the three Kiras? I'm just making sure, for this report I'm writing," Mogi said.
"Oh," Matsuda, as L, said. "Um…well, you see, the first Kira was, well, you know…like that. You know what I mean. Now, the second Kira, was, well…followed the first one, you know? But you see, this third one…well, he's just going off on his own."
Everyone just stared at him, and L, as Matsuda, facepalmed again.
"Are you feeling okay, Ryuzaki?" Soichiro asked.
Matsuda, as L, paused again, and then just said, "…No, not really."
"Maybe you should get some rest?"
L, as Matsuda, shot Matsuda a look that said Don't you dare. "Uh, no thanks," Matsuda, as L, stammered, and went back to playing solitaire.
"So, tell me again—why are we all touching each other?" Light, as Watari, asked.
"Well, Light-san, I have come to the conclusion that the body-swap may have occurred during the lightning storm this previous night," Watari, as Light, explained. "We were all touching each other at the time the lights went out, and so therefore it may have had something to do with that. Therefore, because there is also a lightning storm tonight, perhaps if we continue touching each other, we will swap back."
"Oh, I see."
It was night, and the rest of the task force had turned in for the evening. Light and Watari had their hands on each other's shoulders and L and Matsuda were simply holding hands. Awkward silence ensued, which was broken by Matsuda saying, "I'm really tired; am I allowed to go to sleep?"
"Why not?" L muttered. They all migrated to a bedroom, where L swapped handcuffs, so that Light was handcuffed to Watari and he was handcuffed to Matsuda. The handcuff on Matsuda was to ensure that they did not lose contact accidentally at any time during the night.
As Light and Watari left to go into a different bedroom, Matsuda lay down on the bed and giggled, "What an awkward position to be in. I'll bet that they're going to be staring at each other all night."
L raised an eyebrow, trying to think of how the situation could possibly viewed with any sort of humour. "Maybe so."
L lay down next to him and looked up at the ceiling.
"What if we move apart in our sleep?" Matsuda wondered.
"I do not plan on sleeping tonight," L told him. "Though that may be difficult in this body."
"Oh, alright."
L wrapped an arm around Matsuda's body, pressing up against him.
"Uhm…what…?"
"Just in case," L said, as way of explanation.
"…Okay."
It was silent for a while, before Matsuda whispered, "What if we never get our bodies back?"
"We will," L assured him.
"But, what if we don't?"
"We would be forced to tell the rest of the task force, and, I suppose, get on with our lives. Light-kun's time would be limited, however."
"Oh yeah! I never even thought of that!"
They talked on and off throughout most of the night, until L fell asleep, Matsuda's body being unused to staying awake. Matsuda found it a bit more difficult to lose consciousness, but eventually he did, and was the first to wake up the next morning.
He found himself lying, cuddling with L, who was still asleep. L, who was still in his body.
Matsuda groaned and untangled himself from the other man. The sun was shining through the window—the lightning storm obviously hadn't worked. Either that, or it hadn't struck the building. He shook awake L, as Matsuda.
"It's morning," he said, "and I'm still you."
L scratched his head and grumbled, "And, it appears, I'm still you."
They met up with a tired-looking Watari and Light in the hallway, and L switched back the handcuffs. They proceeded to walk into the monitoring room.
Suddenly, Watari, as Light, was startled off his feet by a small, blond girl glomping him.
"Light! Remember—you said we can go on a date today!"
Light, as Watari, shot Watari, as Light, a sympathetic glance, though was happy he didn't have to personally deal with this.
Misa dragged Watari, as Light, and consequentially Matsuda, as L, up to her floor.
As soon as this happened, Light, as Watari, dragged L, as Matsuda, to the private surveillance room. "Watari won't do anything to Misa, right, Ryuzaki?" Light, as Watari, said once they were there, almost pleadingly.
"Of course, Light-kun. Watari is a natural gentleman, and knows that Light-kun does not like Misa in this way."
"I think I'll watch them, anyway."
"Light-kun may do what he wishes; he is Watari, after all."
"Hah hah, very funny."
Light stared intently at the screen as Misa sat down on Watari's lap.
"Did…did Watari just wiggle his eyebrows?"
"It appears so, Light-kun."
"Why is he petting her hair?"
"I do not know, Light-kun."
"What the hell! Why is he feeding her cake?"
"Light-kun should calm down."
"Holy shit, he's stroking her ass."
"I can see that, Light-kun."
"This…this is a disaster! This is…this is…it's pedophilia!"
"Is Light-kun saying that his relationship with Misa is pedophilia?"
"Of course not! But this—this!"
"Watari is in Light-kun's body. Therefore, it is technically fine."
"He's…he's leading her on! He's…he's…I thought you said he was a gentleman."
"Yes, well, apparently he is enjoying his new body more than I initially assumed."
"I'm going to murder him."
"Is that a Kira confession, Light-kun?"
"No! Light-kun is just very pissed off."
"I can see that."
"That's it; I'm going in there!"
"Again, perhaps Light-kun should calm—"
"Shut up, Ryuzaki!"
Light, as Watari, proceeded to drag L, as Matsuda, over to the elevator and up to Misa's floor. Light, as Watari, all but burst in through the door and interrupted Watari, as Light, nibbling on Misa's ear, giggling.
"Ryuzaki, Yagami-san, both of your presences are required in the monitoring room," Light, as Watari, strained, forcing his voice to remain calm.
"Awwww," Misa squealed.
Watari, as Light, gently pushed her off of his lap and said, "Don't worry, dear, I will see you again soon. I'll miss you until then."
Light, as Watari, flinched.
Light all but guided Watari out of the room, shuffling him along as quick as possible. As soon as they were out of earshot, Light hissed, "What the fuck was that?"
"I was simply indulging her."
"More like, indulging yourself! Don't you know how disturbing that actually is?" Light fumed. "Not to mention, you're leading her on!"
"You seem quite angry."
"Of course I'm angry! I'm pissed off! I can't believe you—"
L cut him off. "I believe that Light-kun should calm down before he starts a scene. It would make little sense to the task force if they found Watari shouting at Light, especially regarding Misa-san."
Light took a few deep breaths. "I guess you're right."
"What if we die?"
"Not to worry, Matsuda-san. I won't be hitting us with enough electricity to do too much damage."
"I-if you say so."
"I can see this ending so badly," Light commented.
"Why is everyone so worried?" Watari wanted to know. "I did claim that it was safe."
"Perhaps it is the fact that we are going to be directly electrocuted," L pointed out.
The machine was a simple one, designed to deliver a small dose of electricity to whomever it touched. Watari had redesigned it so that there were four wires instead of one, though everyone silently wondered why he had originally invented such a thing in the first place. They didn't really want to know.
"We just have to be touching each other when we electrocute ourselves," Watari explained.
They all lined up, holding a wire. All in contact with each other, they struck themselves.
Aizawa was walking past room after room on a search for the four inexplicably missing members of the task force, when he came upon all four of them lying on the ground, their hair sticking straight up and passed out on the flour.
What the fuck? he thought, Did they electrocute themselves?
"Are they dead?" Aizawa wondered, aloud, and then went off to find the chief.
Matsuda was the first to wake up. Looking at his hands, he saw that he was in his regular body.
"Oh my god!" he exclaimed, and then went to shake awake L.
"Ryuzaki, Ryuzaki!" he cried.
"Wha—?" L was very groggy.
"We're in our normal bodies!" Matsuda proclaimed.
"Are we? That's excellent."
At that moment, lightning flashed outside the window.
The lights went out.
This fic was inspired by a combination of Toshido, who somewhat recently proposed to me, and the dog, Dizzy.
Thanks goes to Stormygio for helping out with the plot for this.
I may have to spend some time in a mental facility, so I might soon seem to disappear off the face of the planet for a while. I apologize for this in advance. Being clinically insane sure sucks sometimes.
I know this idea has been done before, but I hope I managed to put a new spin on it! The writing is only average, and not representative of my full abilities, I know, but I still hope you enjoyed it. Review and tell me what you think? Every review makes me incredibly happy. :3
~Ratt Kazamata, 6/06/2012