Me Own? I Wish.

The Stages of Grief and Then Some

There are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. A person doesn't always go through these stages in that exact order but each stage is experienced in the process of grief. After the person goes through each stage he has come to terms with his lost. Sounds simple enough right but, sometimes the transition from one stage to another isn't as smooth as it should be.

Everyone grieves differently and, some find themselves stuck on a certain stage. There are those who prefer to be in denial and to not allow their lost to affect them at all, actually they act as if it never even happened to being with. Some get stuck on bargaining, hoping that if they change something about themselves or their life, they could get what they lost back or avoid experiencing it again. Then there are those who stink into depression and some of them try to end their grief through suicide.

All of these detours in grief do hinder the person from achieving acceptance but none as much as anger. Anger has a way of eating a person from the inside out, leaving the host as an empty shell. Those who are stuck on anger have reactions that range from temper-tantrums once in a while to spreading their pain to those around them verbally or physically, you may know this type of people as bullies. Society has made everyone believe believe that bullies are a bunch of spoiled, crazy brats who enjoy throwing around their weight and making other people, who they feel are beneath them, like crap. But the truth of the matter is that they, like a lot of other people are stuck on a stage in the cycle of grief and no one is helping them to achieve acceptance, until now.

—Dr. Martha Livingstone

0oo~May 2011~oo0

He already made up his mind, there was no backing out. He had been a coward all of his life and, the least he could do is man up and get it over with. He's been planning it for weeks, weighting all of his options. Bullet to the head? No, too messy. He wouldn't want to leave the memory of his brain splattered on the wall of his room to be embedded in his parents' minds for the rest of their lives. Pills were not reliable enough and like silting his wrist it would be too easy to back out in the middle of it. That's when he decided on hanging. It was quick and once he kicked off it would be impossible to back out. He also thought that there was some kind of poetic justice involve in the idea. With everything he'd done, he deserved to hang by the gallows like a common criminal.

Then there was the matter of 'where' that was the major problem. He was quite aware of the fact that he was a big guy or chubby as a certain someone would put it. So, where he decided to tie his noose had to be study and private for obvious reasons. One day while he was wondering the house, he noticed that there were thick beams running the length of the ceiling in the living room. It seemed study enough to hold his enormous weight and if he closed the French doors and the curtains, he would have all the privacy he needed.

The only question that pledged him for a week was when. Then, just when he started to get worried that if he waited any longer he would chicken out, the perfect opportunity arrived. His parents, who have recently become very worried about his behavior, told him one night that they were going to a meeting or something the next night and would be coming home pretty late. He thought that it may be his only chance to finally end it all.

So as soon as he came home from hockey practice, he started preparation for the big event. He got the rope out of the garage and tied it in a proper knot that he learnt online (it's amazing what one could learn from the internet). He tied it to one of the beams in the living room and decided to read a scripture from his grandfather's bible. He then took out the note that he wrote two weeks ago and put it on the dining room table, so that it would be easy for his parents to find after they realized what he done. After a prayer, where he asked God to forgive him for what he is about to do, he climbed up on the desk and….. the phone rang. He thought about ignoring it but, if it was his parents they might get worried and call a neighbor to check on him. And that wouldn't help his plans at all. So he jumped off the table and answered the phone.

0oo~A Week Earlier~oo0

"I assure you Ms. Beiste, my organization completely understand that this student needs help. But if we take in every bully with the average anger problems who throw his weight around, we would not be able to truly help teenagers with more complexes issues." She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Wasn't she supposed to care? Wasn't that her job as a psychologist specializing in teen bullying required to care? But what was she to expect from a rich doctor who walks into a public school dressed in designer clothes and walks around her nose stuck up so high in the air it was a wonder how she got though the front door without breaking it. But unfortunately she was the best option for the situation. What she heard about this program was beyond amazing and this kid needed to change before he really hurt someone. So she decided to throw some low blows.

"Well Dr. Livingstone, I'm sorry that this case isn't interesting enough for you but, this student threatened the life of another. A once happy and proud student was reduced to a shaking heap of fear. It was so bad that his parents moved him to a private school across town just to keep him safe from that oversized brat."

It seemed to work. For a moment she seemed perplexed before she calmly stated, "You see that is the part that I don't understand. Boys like him bully other kids around to prove their manliness to their peers. It makes no sense that he would threaten his victim's life so that he would keep quiet. That act in itself shows shame when he should be proud of his actions. So, you see, he may be changing already."

"But he has only grown more aggressive, not only in his bullying but also on the field and ice." And this was the complete truth. This student went from being a minor issue in the school hallway to be a downright terror. He pushed anyone in his way into the lockers, and was almost an uncontrollable force playing any sport. It was as if he was overflowing with anger and did anything to take the edge off.

She stared at Dr. Livingstone as she was lost in deep thought and then she got a look of realization, as if she just remembered something, "Hmmm, was there something different about the student that transferred from this school?"

Coach Besite was shocked. She couldn't be blaming this student's uncontrollable rage on another, could she? "I don't see how that is relevant…"

But before she could finish, the doctor answered, "I do."

Realizing that there was no point in withholding this information she simply answered, "He was an 'out and proud' homosexual"

Dr. Livingstone seemed to perk up at this new information and continued to question the coach, "Oh, and did the bullying got worst just this year?"

"Well, from what I hear, yes" Coach Beiste was at a complete loss of how this was relevant to the current situation. The student was gone but the bullying had gotten worse. He seemed to have just moved on to new victims without missing a beat.

But at least now the doctor seemed more willing to take him on for some reason and her thoughts was soon confirmed, "Hmm, we'll look into it. I'll see you later Ms. Beiste."

Dr. Livingstone left the lost and confused coach before she could have replied and walked out of the locker room into the school hallway. She reached for her iphone in her Versace handbag and dialed a familiar number. "Hi sis, I think we have our final candidate."

0oo~A Week Later~oo0

He jumped off the table and ran to the phone, hoping to catch it before it stopped ranging and he did.

"Hello?" he answered breathless as if he was sprinting a mile.

"Good Evening, can I talk to David Karofsky please?" replied a melodious voice at the other end of the line.

Dave didn't recognize this woman's voice at all so, he simply answered, "That's me."

"Well how convenient, I'm Dr. Martha Livingstone with the "Stuck on Anger Program" and we were wondering if it would be possible to come and speak with you tonight about being a possible candidate."

0oo~~oo0

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