Easter Insanity and Too Much Chocolate
By: Lily
Disclaimer: I do not own Shaman King. It belongs to the Great God Hiroyuki Takei. ::worships him::
Warnings: Insanity -a lot of it. Hao in a bunny suit. Too much chocolate involved. And an author that had to make an appearance to keep her muse from going any further. A bit of shounen-ai. Blink and you'll it. :D
A/N: Thank you to Wusai for beta-ing. No thanks to Hao and all that Easter candy I saw when I went shopping for headphones. Finally: Sankyuu for reading and yes. I am insane. :D
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It seemed to be just another day. It almost began like any other day for the Asakura household, which meant that: Anna had slammed into Yoh's room and kicked him awake. Ryuu had risen quite awhile ago and had started making an extremely elaborate breakfast, under Anna's orders. (No one asked whether he had awoken on his own, or if Anna's Kick of Utter Doom had awoken him. No one asked what Ryuu slept in either since that was another fic in itself.)
Yoh rubbed his eyes sleepily and yawned. "Aaannnnaaa…" he began, and was abruptly cut off when his fiancée shot him a glare that read, "Get up NOW. Or I'll make sure you NEVER get up AGAIN."
Yoh was up and downstairs at the breakfast table within five minutes.
At the table sat just about everyone. Meaning, Ren was busily shoving Horohoro away from his plate, while Chocolove told jokes in hopes of pacifying his two teammates. His hopes were being smashed to the ground, just as he was, with a yell of "SHUT UP!" from his fellow teammates.
Tamao had buried her face in her hands, and was looking as if she wished she were anywhere but here. (Ponchi and Conchi were standing upon the table with their tails high in the air. …Disturbing sight at breakfast or anytime of day.)
Faust was radiating pink hearts, while Eliza lovingly fed him his breakfast. Everyone kept a safe distance away from the pair, for fear of the pink hearts bouncing off of their heads.
Ryuu was doing something similar… At least, he was radiating pink hearts all over the place.
These said hearts were directed at Lyserg, whom was eating his breakfast and looked a tad uncomfortable under Ryuu's lust-filled…er…love-filled gaze. Occasionally, Ryuu would direct the sparkly, pink hearts at Tamao, but the pink-haired girl was too embarrassed to notice.
All of the other spirits had wisely retreated to the rooftop of the house and hadn't been seen since this morning.
Yoh glanced at Anna and wondered if he could hide under the table. His fiancée was twitching and seemed to glow with dark energy. That was not a good sign, especially since Anna was able to do a lot when she was irritated (Too mild of a word.), including sending people flying halfway across the room with a single slap and being stomped on by a pair of very large Shikigami.
At that, Yoh wondered if his twin had ever used the Shikigami for that purpose, but any further Yoh-thoughts would have to wait. Several loud slaps were issued and the room had fallen into silence for breakfast.
Silence reigned until there was a knock at the door. Then silence was doomed to a terrible death.
"I'll go get it!"
Yoh rose hastily and scrambled out to the hallway to open the door. He blinked and he blinked again at the sight before him.
"…M-manta…?"
His friend was wrapped in yellow ribbons and it looked as if his hair was dyed a bright shade of purple. Yoh's expression resembled something like "O__O;;"
"Mmph! MMMPPHH!" Manta struggled to say past the large red bow that was tied over his mouth.
As if that was the cue that had been long awaited for, there was a loud rumble and villain music began to play.
"Uh-oh…" Yoh said with a sinking heart. A large, red figure appeared after an extremely complicated swirl of flames.
What appeared from the flames was incredibly unexpected, and Yoh wished that he had never woken up. Even if Anna had threatened to rip his eyeballs out. His eyes were scarred now anyway.
"Yoh~" Hao greeted his twin with a wide grin and struck a pose.
Yoh rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't still dreaming. Standing in front of him was the giant Spirit of Fire…wearing a pair of bunny ears. His own brother was standing upon the palm of the Spirit of Fire and wearing a bunny suit. Bunny ears, tail and all.
Yoh thought he might faint.
"H-Hao?" Well. There was only one person on earth that could grin as wide and evil as that while still managing to look cute.
"It is me and I have chocolate eggs~!" Hao declared with a flourish and bounced down from the hand of the Spirit of Fire, which disappeared as soon as its master had reached the ground. Yoh suspected that it was going to burn the bunny ears upon its head.
In any case, he turned towards his brother and decided that it was wise to go with the flow. That had never led him astray and in this situation…well…what else could he could?
"Are they poisoned?"
His twin looked hurt and the bunny ears upon his head seemed to droop.
"Of course not! Why would I do such a thing?"
"…Because you're evil and you want to take over the world?"
"Not today! Today's Easter! I'm a BUNNY! Bunnies don't take over the world and we're cute. Not evil."
"…" said Yoh. At the back of his mind, he thought he had read a story once about how bunnies had plotted to take over the world along with Sanrio plushies. He decided not to say anything about that, either. It wouldn't do him any good if his twin got ideas, after all. It wasn't as if he didn't get enough ideas on his own anyway.
Hao shoved the basket of chocolate eggs into Yoh's hands and walked into the house, ignoring Manta, who was still tied up in ribbons. His twin had been gaping for too long.
Yoh paused to untie Manta and somehow managed that, while still juggling the basket of eggs.
"What happened?" he asked while he threw the yellow ribbons behind him.
His friend grimaced and began a long tale about how he had been making his way to Yoh's house when Hao had appeared out of nowhere. Kidnapped him and dyed his hair purple, saying that purple was most definitely a good color for Manta. Then wrapped him in yellow ribbons and dropped him on the doorstep.
"Well. No one has ever said that he's sane."
"He's EVIL! Psychotic! Sadistic!" Manta burst out unhappily and ran a hand over his head as if to emphasize that point. Yoh was inclined to agree, but he was an optimistic person.
"It doesn't look TOO bad and maybe it'll wash out…" All he got was a half-hearted glare and a reluctant sigh from his friend.
There was a loud crash and various screams that sounded like Lyserg screaming "HHAAAOO!"
"…" said Manta and Yoh both.
"We had better go in before anything else happens." Yoh commented rather calmly and helped his friend up as they braced themselves to enter the house.
The breakfast table was still intact, but everyone had gathered to one side of the room while what looked like Hao's feet stuck out from a large hole in the wall. Anna stood in the middle of the room with her left hand raised. It was obvious that a slap had been issued.
A moment later, Hao leapt out from the hole and fixed his bunny ears that had been knocked aside when Anna had slapped him. He was unharmed and unremorseful.
"That was fun. Do it aaggaaiinn!"
Yoh managed to restrain Anna before she killed him. He probably would have come back to haunt them anyway. It was Easter, after all. Not to mention the fact that his twin was grinning his "I am not afraid of YOU~~ Kill me if you CCAANNN! I'll come back again! Stronger and BETTER!" smile, which only served to confirm Yoh's suspicions.
"What's Hao doing here?!" Horohoro finally burst out, asking the question that had been on everyone's mind.
Lyserg looked as if he could burst from restraining another "HAAAOOO!". It was probably a good thing that Ryuu had his hand over Lyserg's mouth.
"I'm here because I decided that you all needed to have some fun."
"…" said everyone, looking at Hao's outfit.
"What? It's not my fault if none of you have any fashion sense." Hao shrugged and tossed his hair back. He produced a wand that had a bunny pasted upon the star. He waved it around and baskets of chocolate appeared. …it also made sure that everyone gained a pair of rabbit ears upon their heads.
Lyserg had seen enough. Never mind the fact that there was chocolate everywhere. Never mind that he had a pair of green bunny ears upon his head. He shoved Ryuu aside with a quick apology and glared at Hao. "HAAAO—"
A rather large chocolate bunny had been stuffed into mouth. He blinked.
"It's not nice to scream at the bunny. Especially when the bunny hasn't done anything wrooonnng~~" Hao twirled to show off his bunny tail and smiled innocently with an amazing amount of sparkles and bunnies.
He waved the wand again and Ren found that he had a fairly large chocolate chicken in his arms. He fell over on top of Horohoro with a screech.
Chocolove tripped over himself trying to avoid the domino effect and fell face first into a bowl of chocolate pudding that had appeared out of nowhere.
Faust had begun to devour chocolates and suddenly said "I love chocolates!" Eliza cried and attempted to drag her husband away from the chocolates. She was failing miserably.
Tamao was buried in boxes of chocolates. Ponchi and Conchi were eating chocolates and making comments about how certain chocolate-covered sticks resembled something…
Only Anna, Yoh and Manta were unharmed, though Manta's hair still had streaks of bright purple, and Yoh was still holding the basket of chocolate eggs.
The sounds were deafening and Hao was smiling like an angel from hell. "Aaa…" He sighed happily. The smile didn't last long, as there was a loud POOF! and Hao found himself face down on the floor.
"How many times have I told you that you're NOT allowed to give Hao chocolate?" A young girl with a pair of large glasses perched upon her nose asked loudly. She was clothed in a red coat and a pair of black pants…She was also sitting on Hao's chest.
Opacho whimpered tearfully, and Luchist sighed wearily, rubbing his head.
"H-Hao-sama said he wanted chocolates!" Opacho sobbed unhappily and clung to Luchist's leg. The tall man gingerly patted the child and sighed again. "It's not like we can deny Hao-sama of anything, Lily-san." Luchist explained wearily.
"You know perfectly well that Hao gets drunk on chocolate. There's a reason to why I said 'Do not feed Hao chocolates. EVER.' Not even if he demands it. Remember what happened LAST time?" Luchist and Opacho both grimaced at that. There was Hao-sama in a bunny suit, but…Hao-sama running down the street in a black trenchcoat, screaming that he was king of the world…
The girl flicked her black hair back and blinked at her silent audience, as if noticing them for the first time. She smiled cheerfully, waved at them and deftly stole the wand from Hao, who was attempting to grab it back.
"Not this time." She smiled a Hao!smile. Hao sighed and pouted cutely.
"Why NOT? I was having fuuunnn~"
"You're still drunk on the chocolate." The girl poked at his head and waved the wand around.
The giant chocolate bunny disappeared and Ren was able to get off of Horohoro. Not that he was making any move to get off the blue-haired boy. Not that Horohoro was making any complaints about that either.
Faust blinked at his empty hands and wondered why he felt so full. He stared at Eliza, who was crying and wailing about how Faust could betray her for a box of Godiva chocolates. He hurriedly began to reassure her that he would never do that or rather, never do that again.
Chocolove was trying to think of a joke about chocolate pudding and was cuddling the pudding to his chest.
Conchi and Ponchi were both promptly thrown out of the room.
"That's better." The girl breathed with a sigh of relief and threw the wand into hammerspace. Fangirl authors have that kind of power. She snapped her fingers and a net wrapped around Hao. (Yoh and Horohoro were vaguely alarmed by the fact that Hao could be as caught as easily as they could. Maybe it was the net's power.)
"Now then, this is just a dream. It didn't really happen. Happy Easter!" With a cheerful wave and grin, girl, Hao and groupies disappeared.
There was a moment of silence.
"Well…let's have breakfast!" Yoh declared and sat down at the table to eat breakfast.
There was another moment of silence.
Then everyone returned to the table to continue the breakfast. That is, Ren had to be dragged off Horohoro by Anna and told to get a room. The chocolate bunny in Lyserg's mouth had to be pulled out and Ryuu was happily eating it. (Something about an indirect kiss.) Manta was a bit unhappy about his dyed hair, but decided that it fit him pretty well and sat down at the table to eat. Faust was still attempting to make up to Eliza. Chocolove burst out something incoherent and returned to his plotting, while eating the pudding. Tamao was dug out from the boxes of chocolates.
Yoh ate breakfast and steadfastly ignored the chocolate eggs. Anna sat down beside him and followed his example.
No one dared to think of what had happened to Hao.
No one mentioned that he had even shown up.
It was just another normal day in the Asakura household.
~~Owari~~!
Comments and reviews are apperciated muchly. Even if they're to tell me that I'm insane. ^__^
4/20/2003