Title:What Are They Doing
Author:Unable to Love
Rating:heavy T or possibly M for beginning minor smut
Disclaimer:If I ever own Bleach, the world may come to an end, but I don't own it. x(
Summary:In the human world one day, Hitsugaya sees two people doing something very odd. He describes the two people's actions to Ichigo since he's very curious as to what purpose humans have for doing that strange action.
A/N:This is my first time writing a Bleach fanfiction so excuse me if the characters seem ooc. I would appreciate constructive criticism but I would definitely not listen to flames from ignorant people. Reviews will be happily thanked for.
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What
Are They Doing
by Unable
to Love
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One day while walking down the street, our little tenth division captain Hitsugaya Toshiro saw two people doing something awfully strange. A male was kissing and biting a female's neck. Then, the male took off his pants and the female's pants too. Next, the man's private appeared and it went inside the woman's you know what part. Toshiro thought this was very strange. He's never seen it before. He decided to ask a human expert on this topic. Who better to ask than Kurosaki?
Hitsugaya went to the Kurosaki residence and Ichigo's room. Ichigo asked him what's up and a conversation was engaged.
"What's up shorty?"
"It's captain to you substitute shinigami."
"Ok, so what do you want to tell me Captain?"
"I saw these two humans doing something awkward. Can you tell me why they were doing it?"
"Care to explain what they were doing?"
"Sure."
Hitsugaya started telling Ichigo all that he had saw. He explained the man's thingy and the woman's thingy. He explained the kissing and the removal of the pants.
After he was done explaining, he saw one shocked and frozen Kurosaki Ichigo. He tried his best to wake up the substitute shinigami but failed to do so until he dumped a bucket of water over the orange-colored hair boy's head.
"DID YOU JUST SAY THAT YOU SAW A MAN AND WOMAN MAKING LOVE???!!!!!!!!!!"
"Calm down Kurosaki. What do you mean by making love?"
Ichigo started explaining to our little captain about sex. After listening to Ichigo talk, Hitsugaya asked Ichigo questions since he did not understand what Ichigo said.
"So basically, what I just saw was making love and making love is like sex. So you're telling me that what I just saw was two people creating a baby?"
"Yes. That's exactly what I am saying."
"And you're also saying that what we use to pee is also used to make a baby?"
"Yes."
"So when we pee, we are making a baby?"
"No. You got it all wrong. Ok, just ask your vice captain about it. I'm not the one who should explain."
With that said, our innocent captain left the Kurosaki residence and went to find his vice captain.
"Matsumoto, explain something to me."
"Ok, sure. Do you need advice on getting your way with a girl?"
"MATSUMOTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Sorry captain. So, what do you want me to explain to you?"
"Explain to me sex."
That night, Hitsugaya sat threw Matsumoto's lesson of creating babies. After that explanation, his mind became baffled no more. Yet, throughout the night, one sound was heard.
"MATSUMOTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Hitsugaya decided never to ask about making love ever again.