Okay maybe I should explain some of this…after seeing Revs my friend Molly came over to my house and she saw a vacuum tube and screamed "SENTINEL!" so hence we started this insanity…THIS MENACE, oh if you don't get some of it (like Jeremy stuff) don't worry just private jokes ;) you might have wanted to at least know PART of my story lol…anyways here
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Scene 1
'My name is Mouse'
[Mouse is sleeping with vacuum tubes all over him]
VOICE: This may be what we see but this…
[SFX of sentinel arms]
VOICE: Is what he sees, hello Mr. Sanderson.
MOUSE: MY NAME IS MOUSE!
[Mouse punches the screen]
VOICE: Touchy touchy…This is role-playing gone WAY wrong.
Scene 2
'First dates'
[Mouse and Araval in the back of a car]
MOUSE: RAAAA!
ARA: RAAAA!
MOUSE: RAAAA!
ARA: RAAAA!
[continues…]
VOICE: Can we please get back to the script!
MOUSE: Fine, RAAA
ARA: RAA!
MOUSE: *tickles Ara*
[Enter Anna and Jeremy outside of car]
ANNA: *gasp*
JEREMY: Keep it 'C' rated!
ANNA: But I'm Jewish!
JEREMY: I DON'T CARE!
Scene 3
'Pointless speech 1'
[Enter Morpheus and Link]
MORPHEUS: Let's just get to the point of this speech since it was only to waste time anyways YOU HAVE TO TRUST ME LINK
LINK: um…okay
MORPHEUS: See I didn't trust the orthodontist's and see…*shows the hideous tooth gap*
LINK: AH! It's HIDEOUS!
VOICE: Aw come on get your OWN word
LINK: Fine IT'S HORRENDOUS
MORPHEUS: Learned your lesson?
LINK: Ya speeches meant to waste time can be terrifying
Scene 4
'Plot time!'
[Enter Morpheus Araval and Mouse]
MORPHEUS: We need a plot!
MOUSE: Let's go to Zion and PARTY
ARA: Um…
MORPHEUS: Sounds great!
MOUSE: But before that lets beat the crap outta people we don't like!
ARA: Merovingian…*snarl*
Scene 5
'Cheesy French accents'
[Enter Merovingian, dubbed by a terrible French accent, it's his 625th b-day]
EVERYONE: Happy 625th birthday to you…happy….
MEROVINGIAN: Don't make fun of my cheesy French accent! Cause and effect…cause and effect…
STUDENT: NOOOO!!! MR BUCCI IN DISGUISE!
AUDIENCE: Um…okay…
MEROVINGIAN: No I swear…oh look at THAT hottie *drool*
MOUSE: Um…that's my wife
PERSEPHONE: And I'm YOUR wife
MEROVINGIAN: *to Ara* chocolate?
ARA: I hate you
MEROVINGIAN: That's HARSH
ARA: *Shoots Merovingian*
MEROVINGIAN: HEY! I CAN'T DIE STUPID! I'M A VAMPIRE!
MOUSE: Hey look garlic…
MEROVINGIAN: NO!
MOUSE: *Grabs garlic*
ARA: *Grabs pencil stabs Merovingian*
MEROVINGIAN: *dies*
PERSEPHONE: Thank you…ohhh Neo… *drool*
TRINITY: That's my husband…
VOICE: Not again…
Scene 6
'What's THAT?'
[Enter Mouse and Araval]
MOUSE & ARA: *walk down street looking cool and spiffy
MOUSE'S PHONE: *dorky ring or whatever*
MOUSE: Opps!
ARA: Hey whats that…???
MOUSE: Nothing just a phone *pulls out phone*
ARA: HEY! *grabs phone* um…you know we don't have kids YET
MOUSE: *grabs at it*
ARA: *opens phone* 'With love Persephone' HEY! YOU'RE HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH HER!?!?!?
MOUSE: It was only once!
ARA: *throws phone* I CANT BELIEVE YOU! (NOTE: not sure how to end this one)
Scene 7
'Who's next?'
[Enter Mouse Araval and Morpheus]
MOUSE: Well that went well…
ARA: Hey look I'm Buffy!
MORPHEUS: I think we need something all heartfelt so the critics like this movie…
MOUSE: I can't live without you Araval
ARA: I can't live without you!
MOUSE & ARA: *hug*
MORPHEUS: Good!
MOUSE: Who's next?
ARA: Agent Smith…
MORPHEUS: Okay Mouse you fight him…
MOUSE: Um okay…
Scene 8
'My name is…'
[Enter Smith and Mouse]
SMITH: Hello Mr. Sanderson
MOUSE: My name is Bond, James Bond
SMITH: *looks confused*
VOICE: NO IT'S NOT!
MOUSE: Fine! *stares at floor* it's Mouse *with a hint of a squeak*
SMITH: *creepy laugh*
MOUSE & SMITH: *run towards each other about to punch and…
VOICE: Due to budget cuts we have to cut the fighting and get straight to the end…
MOUSE: *on the floor dieing*
SMITH: MUAHAHAHA
ARA: No I love you!
MOUSE: Wakes up…
SMITH: *Runs*
MOUSE: HAHA! *flexes nonexistent muscles*
Scene 9
'TO ZION!'
[Enter Morpheus Mouse & Araval]
MORPHEUS: Good!
MOUSE: Now to ZION! And hot chicks!
ARA: HEY!
Scene 10
'Zion'
[Enter Trinity Neo & Mifune]
NEO: Hey Miffy! You're looking SPIFFY! Haha…I rhyme
MIFUNE: Don't call me Miffy
NEO: Yo wazzzzzzzup
MIFUNE: Um…Trinity what are you guys doing here?
NEO: We are here to PARTY
TRINITY: I'm not sure…*elbows Neo*
NEO: Hey did you guys notice how much this is like star wars?
TRINITY: OH SHUT UP NEO!
Scene 11
'Slow mo!'
[Enter Mouse and Araval]
MOUSE: Hey we have 9 hours…
ARA: I got a funky bedroom for us…
MOUSE: Hey we can get it on in slow mo!
AUDIENCE: Good God no!
ARA: Ya, the Wachowski brother have an OBESSESION with slow mo…
MOUSE: They made half to movie slow mo for crying out loud…
[Jeremy is running]
JEREMY: AHHH! MY VIRGIN EYES!
Scene 12
'Pointless speech 2'
[Enter Mouse and Hamman]
HAMMAN: So you see how ironic it is? Machines can't live without us and we can't live without them?
MOUSE: So that's your point? I thought we established that in the first movie…
HAMMAN: There is no point
MOUSE: Then WHY did you waste so much time? Geez…
HAMMAN: Making a point at my age is pointless
MOUSE: You just MADE a point
HAMMAN: No I didn't see this whole speech is pointless…as is this movie otherwise I wouldn't be in it
MOUSE: But life has point doesn't it?
HAMMAN: No it doesn't that's my point…
MOUSE: YOU JUST MADE A POINT OLD MAN!
HAMMAN: Don't call me OLD!
MOUSE: You know what…this is pointless
HAMMAN: Good…we just wasted 5 minutes…
MOUSE: Good point…
HAMMAN: I DON'T MAKE POINTS!
MOUSE: Oh sorry…well back to my babe...
HAMMAN: It is pointless you know…
MOUSE: OH SHUT UP!
Scene 13
'One more to go…'
[Enter Araval Mouse & Morpheus]
MORPHEUS: So you guys have fun last night?
MOUSE: Heck ya
ARA: SLOW MO!
MORPHEUS: Ya, everything last night was slow mo *starts to drool*
ARA: Um…anyways still one person we need to beat the crap out of…
MOUSE: Shadow…
ARA: Where IS he?
MORPHEUS: *still drooling*
ARA: Umm Morpheus? Can you try not to ruin the equipment…?
MORPHEUS: O sorry…hey look its Niobe! HEY NIOBE!
[Exit Morpheus]
ARA: Geesh…anyways…
MOUSE: Hey look Shadow!
[Enter Shadow]
SHADOW: Hey leave your Rat and we can get in on…
MOUSE: Can you get it on in slow mo? HUH? FREAK!
SHADOW: Hello, stupid
ARA: Oh God, *punches Shadow*
MOUSE: *Punches Shadow*
SHADOW: WAHHHH! MOMMY!
[Shadow runs away]
Scene 14
'Now what?'
[Enter Morpheus Mouse and Araval]
MORPHEUS: Now what?
ARA: I dunno…
MOUSE: Hey why don't we just relive last night?
MORPHEUS: Hey look *drools* its Niobe I don't think she likes me…
MOUSE: Will you shut up…?
MORPHEUS: *spaces out as he walks away hypnotized*
MOUSE: Hey I know!
ARA: What?
MOUSE: Let's run away on a ship and go to the machine city!
ARA: Sounds like fun *whoopee!*
MOUSE: But first how about a pointless make-out scene in the elevator
JEREMY: AHHH MY VIRGIN EYES! OMG!
Scene 15
'You WHAT?!?'
[Enter Morpheus and Lock]
LOCK: YOU WHAT?!?
MORPHEUS: Sorry I only left for a minute…
LOCK: AND THEY STOLE A SHIP AND LEFT?
MORPHEUS: Um…ya
LOCK: NOT ONLY THAT BUT YOU LEFT BECAUSE YOU WERE FOLLOWING NOIBE?!?
MORPHEUS: Ya, you got to admit she's HOTT
LOCK: AND SHES MY GIRL
MORPHEUS: We have to find them!
LOCK: We lost one ship and you want to WASTE another?
MORPHEUS: Common they are parents of the one, they are important
LOCK: The one THE ONE when will you learn? THERE IS NO ONE
MORPHEUS: Hey look Niobe just said she would go look for them HAHA
LOCK: I hate you
NOIBE: Where's Bane?
MORPHEUS: Oh no…he's on their ship…
Scene 16
'A salvage attempt'
[Enter Bane holding Ara knife to her throat and Mouse walking in w/ sword]
BANE: Thanks for bringing a more formidable weapon, put it down
ARA: Just kill him, just let him kill me and get him
MOUSE: But you! Who will I sleep w/ then?
ARA: God, get a program you perv.
BANE: *moves knife closer* come on put it down or come closer and she dies
ARA: Why are you doing this?
BANE: Well you see…since the second movie bombed we decided having another physco killer traitor might salvage these movies…
MOUSE: I don't think it's working…
BANE: I don't care, put down the sword or you can say goodbye to your pretty girl
ARA: Just kill us both, just do it
MOUSE: Hey is this a Nike commercial?
BANE: No
MOUSE: Oh, ok then *puts down sword, backs away* LET HER GO!
BANE: FINE! *shoves Araval through hole as he runs towards the sword*
MOUSE + BANE: *Grab sword*
ARA: Hey! I'll just steal this idea from LOTR and cut my hands free with this handy dandy broken glass right next to me! *cuts ropes* MOUSE!!!
MOUSE: Hey lets not cause any more pain this idea bombed
BANE: Sounds great to me
MOUSE: But leave quickly so she thinks I vanquished you!
BANE: Sure…
[Exit bad guy, Ara crawls through hole]
ARA: What happened?
MOUSE: I beat him!
ARA: Really? Where is he?
MOUSE: Well it was so gross I got rid of the carcass
ARA: Aw what a manly man doing that for me!
MOUSE: Of course! *flexes nonexistent muscles
ARA: ok lets go and finish some stuff in my room*WINK*
MOUSE: Okay *tries to wink* MAN I CANT WINK!
Scene 17
'Plots and scripts'
[Enter Lock Morpheus and Niobe]
MORPHEUS: We must send another ship!
LOCK: And what would YOU know of this?
NOIBE: This is no ORDINARY ranger this is Morpheus son of Ortheus you own him your allegiance
MORPHEUS: What?
NOIBE: Oh sorry wrong script, same plot though...
Scene 18
'What was that?'
[Enter Mouse and Ara]
MACHINES: *Bang bang thwack thwack*
ARA: What the?
MOUSE: The sky it's our only hope…
ARA: Um okay…
[Fake plastic ship is seen flying through fake clouds]
ARA: The ship it's dieing!
MOUSE: Start it up!
ARA: I can't!
MOUSE: ARGGG!
[Crash]
Scene 19
'Forget it'
[Enter Niobe Ghost and Morpheus]
GHOST: We can't go after them…
MORPHEUS: Because if Bane IS on that ship he might have taken it over
NIOBE: And have control over another EMP
GHOST: We should go back to Zion
NIOBE: But not without trying impossible feats and nearly blowing up!
MORPHEUS: MORE SLOW MO CG! YIPEE!
Scene 20
'Stupid camera angles'
[Araval with vacuum tubes sticking out of her Mouse unbuckles himself]
MOUSE: Araval?
ARAVAL: I'm here
MOUSE: Where?
ARAVAL: Here you idiot are you blind?
MOUSE: It's the camera angle!
ARAVAL: Oh stop feeling sorry for yourself
MOUSE: Oh here you are! Hey I can see; ouch your face, it's hurt.
[Camera angle changes can see the tubes]
MOUSE: No the evil camera angle! I couldn't see! Now I am sad.
ARAVAL: Listen to the dieing you fool!
MOUSE: I am!
ARAVAL: I'm so sorry Mouse.
MOUSE: For…?
ARAVAL: I don't have time to tell you…
MOUSE: Tell me darn it! I hate not knowing!
ARAVAL: How much I love you
MOUSE: Oh, well…
AUDIENCE: *cries*
ARAVAL: Listen to me…I can't stay
MOUSE: All ears open
ARAVAL: Kiss me…
MOUSE: Um…okay
ARAVAL: To late *dies*
MOUSE: Ah man…I ain't kissing a dead woman this WASN'T in the contract…who will I sleep with now!?! *sobs*
AUDIENCE: GET A PROGRAM YOU PERV!
Scene 21
'The end?'
[Enter Mouse and Smith]
MOUSE: Let's have the ending be the same as the rest of these movies!
SMITH: Sounds good to me…
VOICE: Once again due to budget cuts we cannot give you the fight just image it…
MOUSE: *Spitting out blood*
SMITH: Why do you fight? Is it love? You are pathetic
MOUSE: *growls* *gets up* I fight because I choose to…
SMITH: Lame LAME LAME
MOUSE: Now I shall self sacrifice to save the world… *falls over*
VOICE: Now IMAGINE Smith blowing up into light…
AUDIENCE: This sucks is it over yet?
ORACLE: No there is a possible sequel…
AUDIENCE: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!