"The helicopter failed its landing, we have lost contact with the pilot." the command centre lady shouted as she rushed out of the control room. The usual fast paced lifesaving slowed down. It felt like time came to a standstill. What's happening, was the only thought that coursed through my mind. Why is it every time the helicopter gets into trouble, Shiraishi and Haitani is always on it? Before anyone else could react, Tachibana-sensei echoed what everyone was thinking.
"What? What do you mean it failed?" his voice clearly in the state of shock and fear.
"We have no information, we just got the call that it crashed." the command lady replied with the equal fear. It's like something clicked in everyone after that final sentence. I stood up from the table wanting to pull out my phone, but Saejima beats me to it.
"I can't through to Shiraishi's phone. I'm going to try Haitani-sensei." she announces as she dialled the required number. On the other side, Yokomine announces she would try Yukimura's. Our entire lifesaving team waited in silence for any form of reply. There was nothing but the beeping of the machines. I used to find peace in those sound. It's the sign that someone could be still fighting for their lives, but today I hated it. Before anymore silence could engulf us, I felt my emergency phone ring. My heart beat started to escalate as I saw the ID caller.
"Shiraishi, what happen? Are you alright?" I questioned with the much needed worry. Her voice, usually coated with kindness and concern could put me at ease regardless of the situation. However this time it did nothing of that sort.
"I'm alright, my leg seems to have been caught in a bad angle but I'm still able to work. The pilot says the he was caught by surprise when something slammed into the windshield of the helicopter causing him to lose control. However the helicopter crashed on Haitani-sensei side. He's out cold. I've checked his pulse, it seems fine. It should be just a mild concussion, but we'll have to do further checks. I'll begin treatment at my best ability, please send in two ambulance. Thank you." she concluded her situation before I could get a single word in. I glance around the room, everyone was already packing for the ambulance that she requested for. There is no time to dwell on her status much longer, we have a job to do. However, that doesn't stop me from worrying about what's going to happen next.
I hung up the phone with Aizawa and took in my surroundings. This was not a situation we could walk away from unscathed. There was definitely going to be an investigation, I didn't know how to handle it. But as for this moment we have a bigger problem on hand. With my second doctor down I have to make haste to give treatment. I instructed Yukimura to assist the other boy while I hobbled my way to the boy who was in a fit of a seizure, just by looking I know that he might not survive this. Regardless of our helicopter situation. I took his pulse and checked his eyes for any light reaction. It's too weak, his eyes was dilated. His heart beat was weaken as the second went by. I look over to the other boy, he was still conscious. My heart raced against my mind. I knew that the boy before me can't be saved. He's in seizure with red patches forming across his skin. It's an allergic reaction, I've read about this before. Without the proper equipment and information, there was no way this boy would survive. In the crucial moment, I made a choice. I intubated him to allow his breathing to be easier, making his passing less painful. I then announced to pilot to carry the boy out of the water and hold him down till the ambulance come. I made my way towards Yukimura and started the treatment for this young men instead. From the distance, I could hear the screams of a middle aged mother. With every scream and cry, I felt my heart break a little.
I leaped out of the ambulance as fast as I could and raced across the field. The ambulance that carried Tachibana-sensei arrived slightly before, had carried off the other parent towards our hospital. I was hoping to pick up the last patient to administer any form of needed medical treatment, however there was none of that. Instead I was greeted by a view of Shiraishi maintaining a perfect 90 degree bow towards an anger filled middle aged women. A simple look to my left I saw that a white cloth was draped over a young man with our pilot standing by his side. It was an easy situation to piece together. Just as the shouting begins to slow down. Yukimura calls for help from the back, Haitani needed treatment.
Two days later, the helicopter returns to us in a perfect functioning state. But we can't ride it. The investigation starts today, and it's going to be a long one. Takazuki came from a famous family line in Japan. They manage to cause a huge uproar on the situation forcing the hospital to pull off a full investigation. We aren't going to come out of this situation without having to give up something in return, that's what Fujikawa said. I don't want to even think of what were the possible outcomes of this case. I clipped the last report into the file. There had to be enough information to let the patients family understand that Shiraishi did what she had to do.
Tachibana, Shiraishi, Yukimura, Haitani and I gathered in the meeting room. Opposite us, the family members of Takazuki as well as Hoshino. They intended to sue the hospital for letting their son die. We had to do everything we could to defend our doctors. The lawyer asked us to give our side of an explanation. I cleared my throat and spoke up
"Given the situation Shiraishi was in, she handled it at the best. After analysing the situation, and doing a final autopsy we found that it was impossible to save the boy, Takazuki, who had an allergic reaction. Even if the helicopter was working fine, he would have passed away on his way to the hospital. We didn't have enough information on his allergies, making it impossible to administer any form of treatment without the chances of causing another reaction. Shiraishi helped ease his breathing to allow his passing to be less painful. I think that was the best that could have been done. As for the other patient, Hoshino, he had the higher chance of survival between the two. We've gave him the treatment he needs. He's now resting in the ICU." I passed the medical file to the head of the hospital. I'm sure they would understand. But I was wrong. The Takazuki family was not accepting it, they didn't not accept the fact that their son didn't stand a chance.
I shifted my eyes to my right, hoping to catch a glimpse of Shiraishi and Haitani. No one on this table could possibly understand the guilt they are facing. Haitani hasn't looked up even once since the meeting started, as for Shiraishi, she looked worst. She was holding it together for everyone's sake. But from the dark circles and slightly puffy eyes, I knew she had been crying. This was going to take a toll on them. Especially Shiraishi who would only take the responsibility on her own shoulders even though she couldn't have known what was going to happen. I started to clench my fist, rubbing my thumb against my finger as the meeting continued.
Just as we were about to dive into how the helicopter crashed, my emergency phone buzzed against my chest. I answered without hesitation. On the other line was Hiyama.
"Aizawa, Hoshino-san is experiencing a drop in oxygen level. There are black patches forming all over his hand. I've seen this before back when I was a fellow. It's a bacteria disease. There's almost no chance for him now, call his family from the meeting. Hurry" She ends the call and in that moment, I knew we are in for a big trouble. After repeating what Hiyama had just conveyed, we ended the meeting for Hoshino family to hopefully catch their son alive for one last time.
I couldn't believe my ears, an infection. From that small cut on his hand, even though I took the steps to disinfect it. As everyone in the meeting room dashes towards to lifesaving department, I lingered behind. Where is this situation going to bring our lifesaving department to? I didn't want to think about it.
"Haitani-sensei, please head home and rest. We don't want your head injury to get any worse." I turn towards him, he was timidly standing behind me. Ah, how he reminds me of myself 9 years ago. Scared to do anything, or say anything out of line. I felt sorry for him, I know for sure that whatever has happen in the past few days would definitely take a toll on him. He doesn't reply me, just simply nods his head and walks away. How could I help him I wondered? Maybe I'll have a chat with him tomorrow, for today I needed as much rest as he did. If I had known what was going through his mind, I would have stop and talk to him regardless of how tired I was.
The next morning arrived, and I limped my way into the lifesaving department. Just as I was about to enter the staffroom, I see Aizawa making his way towards me. I wanted to greet him good morning, but as I saw his face I knew something had happened.
"Haitani came in yesterday night, reports was that he fell into the railway track. Whether he jumped or fell, I think you should ask him. He's resting in the private room." He answered my unspoken question as he came to stand before me. He's eyes conveyed his unspoken concerned for me. He must be worried on how I would react to this news. I wanted to force a smile on my face but somehow I knew he would see right through me. So I just nodded my head, and entered the room. Eyes trained on the floor as I felt his presence behind me.
I made my way to the changing room all the while thinking of how to ask Haitani what had happen. Hiyama and Saejima often told me I'm dense and tactless, I didn't want to hurt Haitani any further. But dragging the situation might make everything worst. I got into my scrubs and made my way towards the private room where he was resting.
"I'm coming in." I waited for a reply but there was none. I slowly cracked open the door to find that Haitani had covered himself with the blanket. I wished that I could be to him what Aizawa was to me that rainy night. Words were the easiest things to say and the hardest things to take back. I didn't want to slip up. Not after how I didn't even notice my own junior state of mind. I took a sit on the sofa by his bed and wondered what could be the right thing to do.
"I'm sorry, ever since I arrive I've caused you nothing but trouble. Even now if I didn't faint I could have helped you." I heard him whispered from under his blanket. I let the silence in the room engulf us, it's quiet and suffocating. I don't always know the right things to say, but I'm hoping that this could be one of the times.
"Please don't apologise. I will never fully understand the guilt and pain you are going through. I know that it's hard, but I hope you understand that you aren't alone. We are here with you. In lifesaving, we are a team. In order to save someone's life in the shortest time required, we need to work together. I hope that I could have voiced this out to you earlier. I'm sorry for not noticing the pain you are going through. I'm your senior but I'm also your mentor and most importantly, I hope that I am your friend. I want to be someone you can confide in. So please, Haitani-sensei." I pleaded with him. I hoped that my words could reach him. I hope that he would eventually find his way around. From his body outline, I could see him nodding his head. I hear soft whimpers coming from under the blanket. I decided to leave him alone.
"This situation has taken a turn for the worst. Takazuki family will not back down until they see a form of compensation from the hospital. They have publicly announce what they feel of the situation. Their son might not have stood a chance but their son's friend did. They are insisting that we've sent down a pair of inexperienced doctors. The hospital has admit that they will take action." Tachibana-sensei concluded his meeting with the senior doctors. There was silence in the room, we could hear a pin drop. Hiyama reaches her hand out and grab hold of Shiraishi's.
"What's the hospital course of action? What have they decided to do?" I voiced out. My heart was pounding against my chest. The worst case scenario was that they insist we discharge both doctors from our department. But if that happens, what were they going to do. Tachibana scans the room, meeting each of our eyes.
"Everyone leave the room. I want a private chat with Shiraishi." His order was met silence. Nobody moved an inch. I couldn't help but wonder if we were all thinking the same thing.
"Please go, we can't have all our senior doctor away. Aizawa-sensei, please, I'm counting on you today." She mumbles with her voice almost on the edge of breaking. It's just like her to only worry about lifesaving rather than herself. I felt the need to not fail her intensify. I nodded briefly and grabbed Fujikawa upper arms. Together with Hiyama in tow, we left the office with a heavy heart.
"Tachibana-sensei, for this incident, please let me take on the responsibility. It was my fault that Hoshino passed on, I should have paid more attention to the cut. As for Takazuki, I was the one that made the choice to not save him. It was no one's fault, but if someone had to take responsibility, I would." I spoke as the door closes behind Aizawa. From my seat, I saw Tachibana-sensei shoulder sagged in defeat. He let an audible sigh and buried his head into his hands.
"Shiraishi, it was no one fault. Why do you always jump to take responsibility when it wasn't something that could be controlled? No one expected the helicopter to crash. And just as the report showed, there was nothing further that could be done for Takazuki. We couldn't have traced the bacteria unless we had known about it. Why not we think of another solution." He pleaded with me. He knows I've made up my mind.
"If there was another way, we would have thought about it already. I think this is the best course of action. The longer we prolong this case, the further the toll it will take on the team. We can't afford to be distracted. With this I believe the case will come to a rest. Also, please approve of Haitani-sensei leave. I think he needs time to recover, I think it's best to let him rest. And, one last request. Don't tell him what has happen till after he returns." I said as I walk towards Tachibana-sensei's table and place the letter on his desk.
The rest of morning went by without much activity. There was a tension hanging over everyone. The nurses' whispers among themselves worried about the situation, while the fellows tries their best to follow up on the patients left by Haitani. As for the senior doctors we move around the department with the much needed concentration. Shiraishi acts like nothing has happen. She moves around the department with her usual work attitude. But we all felt like something was wrong. We've known her for 9 years, she was obviously hiding something. But if she wasn't ready to say anything, we weren't ready to pry.
Mid-afternoon arrived, the others went for their rounds while Shiraishi slips out of the office. I made the decision to confront her on what has happen. I know where she would be, she was always there when something went wrong. I got us 2 cans of coffee before heading out to the Heli-pad. There she was, leaning against the railings staring out into the field. She must have heard the door closing behind me as she turns the other way to wipe the tears off her face.
"What is going to happen?" I question as I pop the lid off the coffee can before handing it to her. For a moment, she chose not to reply me. She simply took the coffee and gave me a fake smile. I waited for her to say something, we've shared many things over the course of 9 years I know she would eventually tell me the truth.
"I am not going to be a flight doctor anymore. I don't know if I'll still be a doctor, I guess I'll figure it out once my long break is over." She clutches the coffee can tighter as she answers me. I was stun. For a long while there was only silence between us.
"Once again, you are taking too much responsibility. How is this your fault? As a doctor you should understand. The result of the 2 patients would have been the same regardless of who was on scene. You are always putting lifesaving before yourself, maybe this time, it's time to care for yourself first." I stressed as I turn to face her. She was tearing up.
"If I don't take responsibility, who will? It wasn't anyone's fault but at the end of the day someone has to step up. Hayakawa-san wasn't expecting something to hit the helicopter in a no fly zone. He was caught by surprise but did his best to land us as safely as possible. Haitani-sensei has his whole life career ahead of him, there is no way I'm letting this incident destroy it. They both deserve a second chance, and so I as staff leader as well as mentor will take on this responsibility." She pleaded as she wiped away the tears that have fallen from her eyes.
"Who's going to give you a second chance? Do you understand? If you take the blame for this incident, there could be a possibility that you'll never be a doctor again." I retaliated as I began to clench my hands. She only thinks of lifesaving, and now she is willing to throw away everything she worked hard for.
"Yes! I do understand! But please Aizawa-sensei, remember that this is my second chance. I took away Kuroda's ability to work, this department and the reputation of Doctor Heli but I was still given a second chance. Everyone on that flight with me deserves theirs." She snapped as she took a step closer to me, challenging me to refute me. Just as I was about to argue back, my emergency phone rings and the command lady's voice sounded.
"There was been a major accident along the highway, Doctor Heli has been given permission to start flight now. Doctor Heli, engine start." The lady ended the call. I made a quick instruction to bring an extra medical bag as I was already at the pad. One last look at Shiraishi and I dashed off into the helicopter.
I wished we had more time to talk about this before she made her final choice. But I was too late. When the mission ended, and all emergency patients has all been given treated, we were already well into the night. I made my way into the staff room to grab my stuff before heading home. Part of me hoped she would be waiting there. To greet us, to say that we've work hard today. But she wasn't there, instead on her table there was her staff badge, the emergency phone, her stethoscope and her scrubs. The next morning, the investigation team attended the lifesaving department morning meetings and announced.
Doctor Shiraishi Megumi is, as of now discharged from Shohoku Lifesaving Department.
Hey! This is sorta my notes:
I feel like I am ready to move on from the sadness of Code Blue ending. The fics here will keep me going till the movie comes! But I'm ready to watch another show now. HJAHAHAHAHAH
Anyway, here is a short story on a scenario on what code blue decides to take a more drastic turn. [I know that the medical terms and situation are not real at all but please let it slide ]
As usual, I hope the scenes aren't too confusing. And the characters are alright.
Anyway, Here is a shout out to everyone who've read my first story "Understanding" and my other story of "Warmth" as well as "Feelings"
[Side note, I really wanted to keep this fic title in a one word thing but I couldn't think of a okay one so hence]
To everyone giving me a review on my other 3 fics, thank you thank you thank you, though I didn't reply one by one [I actually don't know how cause I use my phone and I just can't figure it out]
The reviews really makes me smile, I usually check on my social media stuff and all of these right before I get up for work so you guys really help kick off my day to good start!
I hope you'll enjoy reading this, hopefully by the end of this fic, my heart would have settled over this awesome show.
Do leave what you feel or think about this story!
Thank you all so so much!
To anyone reading this anywhere in the world,
Have a good day/afternoon/evening/night!
Let's spread love and joy and kindness, cause the world is a hard enough place to live in.
Live well, and live right! Sending love from my little home to yours!