Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Naruto, nor anything else of the manga/anime. Though I would like to own a pair of Sasuke's boxers. Just one...
AN: First there came a drabble about briefs, and it spawned this piece of ridiculousness. I'm not sure whether I should be proud or bow my head in shame. In either event, please review. Because I love them muchly.
Sasuke woke up naked, which wasn't really unusual these days. He frowned when he noticed a lack of blond next to him on the bed, though. He lay there for a few more minutes until he remember Naruto mentioning something about a mission today. Sasuke sighed and got up to take a shower and get ready for whatever it was that he was supposed to do for the day.
He walked out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist, heading for his dresser. Being a very prepared person, Sasuke organized his clothes by outfit to save time. All he had to do was pull out a bundle of clothes and it would have whatever he needed in it.
Sasuke pulled out one bundle of clothing and started to get dressed. He frowned when he noticed there wasn't a pair of boxers with the rest of his clothes. He must have gotten distracted while he was putting this one together. He opened the drawer back up and pulled out the next bundle of clothes. No boxers here either. Sasuke's senses were beginning to tell him that there was something very wrong going on.
He quickly rifiled through all his clothes, searching for any sign of his underwear. Sasuke finally reached the bottom drawer, and very last pile of clothing. On the bottom was one very orange fundoshi with little spirals all over it.
Sasuke growled and decided that he would rather face the world without a pair of boxers than wear that. He put on his shorts and headed for the closest exit, his window.
Sasuke's apartment had an exceeding good view of Konoha, and especially of Hokage mountain. Now usually, Sasuke was not one to care about the view but something told him to take a second and look that day. He was greeted with the sight of his boxers strung like Christmas lights across the likenesses of the hokages, past and present, of Konoha.
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Naruto had had more than his share of attempts on his life. He was used to them now, it was like a good form of training. But no amount of training could ever prepare him for the waves of death he felt coming from Sasuke's apartment. And the source of those waves was quickly coming closer.
Naruto had time pause his conversation with Sakura and Ino to utter an "Oh, fuck" before feeling a ball of cloth getting shoved deep into his mouth.
The girls screamed at the Uchiha who had exploded on to the scene, Sharingan wheeling, and radiating fury. Naruto, torn between laughing like a maniac or running for his life, pulled the cloth from his mouth, to find a certain pair of orange underwear.
Deciding on a course of action, Naruto launched the underwear at Sakura. "Maybe you won't find Sasuke so attractive after you see what kind of underwear he prefers."
Naruto fled.
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It was well past midnight when Naruto limped wearily into the apartment with a pile of boxers in his arms. He was bruised and bleeding in a few places.
"Oi, bastard, I got mobbed by your stupid fangirls. They just knew it was your underwear somehow. They've got, like, super dog senses and smelled your ass on them," Naruto rubbed a particularly nasty bruise. "I think I might be missing a few pairs because of them."
He barely had time to duck as a kunai went whizzing over his head. He turned around to find the orange fundoshi hanging off of it, in flames.
"Don't burn down the fucking apartment!"
Another kunai. This time with a pair of Naruto's boxers in flames.
"OI! How about I set fire to your underwear!"
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Hinata was looking at a nice shirt and wondering if she had enough money on her to pay for it when she heard two familiar, arguing voices.
"Dobe, the men's section is over there. This is for boys."
"Well, how the hell was I supposed to know? I mean this is your fault, you pyromaniac."
"I wasn't the one who started it, moron," Sasuke replied with a clenched jaw. Hinata was secretly wondering how much longer his teeth would hold up, when Naruto called out to her.
"Hinata! What are you doing here?" Naruto said as he bounced over to her.
"Oh, Naruto-kun! I was just looking at this shirt," She replied quietly.
"I'm sure it would good on you! You should get it," Naruto said, oblivious to her blushing.
"Th-Thank you, Naruto-kun. What are you and Sasuke-san doing here?" Hinata managed to say.
"Well, we both kind of need new underwear..." He broke off, laughing nervously.
Sasuke, meanwhile, had found the men's underwear section and arrived to drag Naruto away with a short "Let's get this over with, dobe."
Hinata later heard her name being shouted and turned to see Naruto and Sasuke heading over to the cashier, arms full of value packs of boxers. She blinked and waved as Naruto said good-bye.
As she went was walking home later that day she wondered if Neji and Lee-san, or Kiba and Shino ever did this kind of thing.
- End -