Scared That I Might Need You

Written By: Marina

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"That bitch!"

Slam.

Cue to Roger Davis stomping through the door. Same play, every other night. Why I put up with it, I'll never know. Guess it has something to do with the GorgeousAngry sparks in his eyes. Damn, I am a boy in love.

"Mark?" I hear his deep voice bellow, more confused than angry-sounding now. I peek up from my position, stretched out on the couch, and find Roger standing with his hands on his hips, surveying the loft. Oops, missed my line.

I sit up, trying unsuccessfully not to smile at how adorable he looks. Adorable probably isn't what he was going for. "I'm over here, Rog." Oooh, ad libbing… play's getting interesting tonight. "What'd she do this time?"

Roger stalks over to the couch and, once I've cleaned away my camera things, plops down, resting his head in my lap. "She accused me of cheating! I mean, come on, where does she get off? I saw her and Luke at the gig last night!"

I sigh, absently rubbing my fingers through his hair, feeling the gel dissolve under my fingertips. Cheating… that's a new one. "I don't wanna say 'I told you so', but Roger… I told you not to get involved with Rachel. It's not a good idea to date crazy fan girls, I really wasn't surprised to see her and your bassist last—What?" I break off, my forehead wrinkling, as I notice Roger's blue eyes staring up at me in complete ShockIndignationConfusion.

"My… girlfriend's name isn't Rachel…" Roger squeezes out, trying to hide the shake in his voice.

Oh shit. "Yeah… it is, Rog. The big breasted blonde…" Not that that's horrendously helpful, all his girlfriends have been like that lately. He's been going for the complete opposite of Mimi, ever since… Damnit Mark, you're being Roger-comfort-y right now. Focus! "The young one, who thinks she can sing. Always wears the low-cut shirts, with the big sleeves…"

"Fuck." Roger groans and rubs his forehead, his eyes closing. "I've been calling her Michelle… That's what I thought she said that first night. No wonder she thinks…"

I make my "sympathetic face", trying to resist the urge to bend down and kiss his forehead. As close as our friendship is, I'm not a girl, so I can't get away with that under normal circumstances. Neither of us are upset enough right now for me to be able to kiss him… Poor Rog, things aren't exactly going… well. "Who did she accuse you of cheating on her with?" I ask gently, reaching down and unclasping his wrist spiky things. They keep poking me.

"I don't know!" Roger wails and I have to repress a smile. I don't think he's actually upset about things ending with Rachel, it's just her accusing him of things he didn't do and stuff. "She just kept babbling about some 'him'. About how I 'run back to him' and how if I 'love him so much, I should go screw him' and 'be with him' and… I didn't know what she was talking about!"

My jaw drops and I just stare down at him. "Him? You haven't been with a guy since—"

"Before April. I know," Roger interrupts softly, sitting up now. I blink, actually missing the weight of his head on my lap. "It's not like I've ever talked about being bi to her anyway, we weren't together long enough. I don't know where she got it from."

I shrug, honestly having no idea. Roger doesn't act stereotypically gay or anything… I mean, come on, he's your perfectly manly-man. And, yeah, he is bi, but she didn't know, so it's just kind of… random. But, I know better than to press the subject, Roger'll get over it and probably find a new girl by tomorrow night. In the meantime… I'm ComfortGuy. I know it's the most I've ever have, and I'm content with that. After 6 years, you begin to accept your lot. "You hungry? Collins made me go grocery shopping today, we've got some donuts and stuff."

Roger shakes his head, standing up. "I'm okay. I think I'm just going to play, you know?" He motions towards his guitar. Apparently he's in his angsty mood right now, and that was a definite sign to 'back off'.

"You have to eat, Rog." I couldn't help it. I'm supposed to leave him alone, and that is the smart way to go, but… I worry about him. He's sick and all I ever see is him eating hard Ramen noodles and peanuts at the bars. I cringe a little, worried that Roger'll snap and hit me… not like it's never happened before.

Roger's features harden, just for a moment, but it immediately fades away into a small smile. "I'll eat in the morning, promise. Right now I just really need to be alone, to play." He reaches over and gently grabs my hand. "Thanks Mark." And with a wink and a squeeze of my hand, Roger and his guitar have disappeared.

I find myself sighing again as I sit back against the couch, rubbing my face. It's hell to watch Roger like this, he's completely self-destructive. It's just like after April except… it's harder. He promised me he'd never do drugs again, and he hasn't. But this is just as hurtful to him. I can't say anything, how am I supposed to tell Roger that his… "womanizing" is killing him just as much as drugs did?

I should just go to bed. I mean, sitting up and worrying about Roger isn't going to do me any good. And maybe, maybe, I'll come up with an idea to fix him by morning.

Ha, I wish. My entire body slumps as Rog begins to play 'Your Eyes'. Tonight is not a good night for my rock star. I stumble into my room, change into pajama pants and fall asleep, all to the excessive playing of 'Your Eyes' from Roger's bedroom.

God, I wish I could help him.  

Author's Note: I'm not entirely sure where this is going, but I know it's going somewhere! Thank you all for your amazing comments on the last story, reviews would help for this one too ;)