Note: Pretty much like the summary said, I got together the main characters from the book, stuck them in a room together, had an Inheritance fan (Kat) ask them about the book. Now these are the characters in the book from the Alagaesia in the book, but they talk about what's really happening in Alagaeisa, not just the story Chris Paolini told. Some characters were killed off in the book, who aren't really dead. Maybe some slash, anything can happen! It's kind of complicated to explain, but just read it and review (flames welcome, it's winter!)! (-:
I'M IN A BOOK, YOU SAY?
"I think that I'm portrayed as such a big wuss in the book, that I'm obviously not," Eragon said loudly to the fan of the Inheritance Cycle, Kat. They were sitting in a room that was chaotic, filled with all the main characters from the Inheritance books. Arguments were of course breaking out about everything from the inaccuracies of the book to "who looks better in leather, Murtagh or Morzan."
"Oh Eragon calm down," Saphira scolded, fed up with him. "I actually found the books rather enchanting, I did not like however how I'm portrayed as an alcoholic dragon, those don't even exist and obviously dragons can talk, but I understand that the author had to make miniscule changes in order to-"
"Miniscule changes?!" Eragon loudly interrupted, "He said that I was in love with a bajillion year old elf. She creeps me out!" He motioned to Arya, sitting in the corner reading Eragon.
"Eragon, dammit, I told you I'm only 20! Paolini made me older, I don't look older than 20, do I?" Arya asked Kat, who was totally freaked out.
"No, of course not, you know I'm just gunna go talk to someone else," she said, totally weirded out. She walked over to where Brom was sitting with Selena and Ajihad and introduced herself.
"So it was your idea to invite all of us and then trap us in this room?" Ajihad asked in his booming voice and Kat nodded frightened. "Well I think that this will definitely solve all of Alagaesia's problems because I'm sure that before we leave this room most of us will have committed suicide, but hey I'm already dead so I could care less." Kat took a deep breath of relief and asked,
"So, what did you think of how you were portrayed in the book?"
"Well, I actually haven't read the books myself, but I had Selena here fill me in on the details and I actually believe that my character was very close to myself. Except that my death was a much bigger deal," he said expecting support from the two sitting near him, but both were quiet. "RIGHT?!" he asked louder and both Brom and Selena nodded, intimidated by Ajihad.
"SO, um Brom, what did you think of you're character in the books?"
"I haven't read them either," Brom said in a droll voice. "But Eragon over there told me that I died halfway through the first book. Died! I'm not dead, I never died and I certainly wasn't killed by any Ra'zac, oh god they're such pains."
"Oh, well that's – um- interesting, so you aren't dead?" Kat asked the annoyed old man.
"Of course not, I should sue that author."
"Oh, Brom calm down, at least you aren't portrayed as a horrible, neglectful mother," Selena said starting to tear up.
"You were a neglectful mother," Brom said simply causing Selena to wail and blow her nose loudly into a handkerchief. "Oh, god, you're going to cry again, no wonder your son is such a wimp."
"I'M NOT A WIMP!" Eragon yelled to Brom from across the room who just ignored him. Kat tried to inconspicuously walk away from Brom and toward Roran and Katrina, who didn't look as out of control as everyone else.
"So, how did you two like the book?" Kat asked the two.
"I stopped reading as soon as it said that I got captured," Katrina said strongly. "I never got captured, it was Roran. Paolini totally played into the whole damsel in distress thing. I was pissed. I was the one who saved Roran."
"Aw come on now sweetie, I did help you that one time with that one Ra'zac," Roran said sweetly to Katrina, he was obviously one of those annoying hopeless romantics that always ends up with a beautiful person and you can never figure out why.
"One, tiny Ra'zac and I warned you that no matter how much I love you, if you ever call me sweetie again I will rip your mouth off of your face, got it?" Katrina said harshly to Roran, who just stared back at her lovingly. Sickened by Roran's insane sappy romanticness Kat walked away from the two lovers and towards the bad guys, Galbatorix, Morzan, and Durza.
"So you guys are the bad guys of the book, how did you enjoy the book?"
"I was portrayed as such a - such a horrible tyrannical leader and sometimes," Galbatorix said beginning to cry, "it just gets to you, I don't want to be hated." He then began sobbing uncontrollably. Morzan put his hand on Galbatorix's shoulder and rubbed it,
"Oh, Rixie, it's alright, I know that you aren't a tyrannical leader," Morzan whispered softly into Galbatorix's ear, while Kat sat staring at them, really and totally weirded out.
"Oh, how you two sicken me," Durza mumbled, lookin at Morzan and Galbatorix.
"Well, you're such a meanie, I'm happy you're dead," Galbatorix said in a rather feminine voice, then began to cry again.
"God, you are such a crybaby, listen to me," Durza said to Kat. "I was the real bad guy. I invented evil and yet Galbatorix manages to be the king and he manages to live. Do you find that fair? I should think not." Kat silently agreed with Durza, frankly she thought that if she didn't she would have been turned into a newt, and she then walked over to Nasuada who was sitting alone, with a daisy in her hand. Already a little weirded out by the daisy Kat asked Nasuada,
"How did you like the book?" Kat prepared herself to be blown away by the reply.
"I actually found the book misleading," Nasuada said in a quiet voice. "I don't believe in war. Flower Power is the motto I live by. It wasn't groovy that in the book I fought. I'm not the chick in the book at all, dude." She talked like a flower child from the 70's then added, "But Angela is totally far out though. It sucked when she got angry at me in the book, I read it and I was like, 'whoa man,' 'cause like she never actually got mad at me in real life." Kat was beginning to wonder where Chris Paolini actually got inspired for the characters of the Inheritance Cycle because she was getting totally freaked out by all the insane people in the room. She went down the checklist of characters that she had in front of her, she realized that she had more characters to talk to. Whoopee. She decided that she would next talk to Murtagh, one of her favorite characters in the book.
She saw him sitting alone in a corner, looking all badass, so she walked over to him and asked the question,
"So, what did you think of the books?"
"I never read them, but I asked Eragon and he said they pissed him off, so I figure that if I read them, I would like them." Kat was just happy that he hadn't turned out to be like some character from the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
"Your character in the book is portrayed as misunderstood, but good at heart, he has a very difficult past, is that similar to you in anyway?"
"Look, I was raised by Galbatorix and Morzan, the Lucy and Ricky of Alagaesia, wouldn't it make sense that I have a screwed up past? I spent most of my early teens up in my room with the nanny that they hired for me, I'm telling you that hiring her was the one good decision that those two made." Kat was beginning to get suicidal. None of the characters had been any help to her at all in her plans to write a fanfic about the real Alagaesia. Sure she figured that it would be different from the book but she never expected it to be as screwed up as all of the people sitting in the room. A wimp in denial, an all too motherly dragon, an elf that looks a hundred years older than her actual age, a powerful leader who no one cared about when he died, a droll Brom, an emotional Selena, a strong feministic Katrina, a sappy romantic Roran, an emotional feminine Galbatorix, an all too sweet Morzan, an evil Durza (which wasn't that bad, but hey he's dead), a flower child Nasuada, and a totally badass Murtagh who spent most of his early years locked in his room with some kind of nanny-whore. "I'm bored, You wanna make out?" Murtagh asked Kat who replied,
"Yea, sure whatever."
Note: Should I add more? There were some major characters that I had to skip over. Review and if I add more I might be willing to add some of you readers, yes I am talking to you, into the story, just ask me to.