A/N: I couldn't help myself.

"I'm hungry."

A small brunette woman frowned at her black-haired husband. He was always hungry. She wouldn't dare say it to his face, however; his temper was too volatile.

They were where they always seemed to be in their waking hours, in the dining hall. Though the table was at least 40 feet long, they were the only two people who sat there. There was no one foolish enough to dine with her husband besides her, and that was only because she was used to his rather 'unique' appetite.

Today's dinner was specially ordered by her dear Logan, as usual: a huge spread of the most revolting food you could imagine. Skewered cameras, cereal loaded with screws and bolts, even a large piece of meat glazed in a curious blue liquid she knew without a doubt was poisonous. Of course, she herself always had a tiny plate to herself, with a bit of corn and ham. She wouldn't touch her husband's food, and he liked it better that way.

The two of them were personifications, him being the state of Ohio and her being Iowa. Though normally regarded as siblings, they had been wed out of a political necessity, but neither of them really minded. They cared for each other, Iowa probably more than her husband. Of course, she had to care for him dearly, to be able to tolerate him and his obsession day after day.

As she picked at her small serving of corned beef, she tried not to look at her husband and his ferocious eating. The meat he was eating was very obviously raw, but he didn't seem to care. He was enjoying himself, and that was all that mattered to the servants, who were desperate not to anger him.

It was rather surprising how many servants they had, a whole 8, shockingly all personifications themselves. They didn't enjoy their work, but a rumor persisted that Ohio would eat any servant that dared to ask for a leave, let alone quit. There were only two that didn't care, a pair of twins that were actually Iowa's children. Officially Des Moines and West Des Moines, Daniel and Danielle served their stepfather with gusto, though knowing their mischievous nature she suspected they were just testing how gross they could make his food before he would hit his limit. They hadn't found it yet.

"Utah, the menu," Logan said gruffly. A blonde servant boy, tall and muscular though too timid to take advantage of it, handed him the bit of chalkboard they used as their menu. He perused it, then pointing at something or other, making the other servants scurry and slide the appropriate plates down to him. Iowa, or Samantha, was mostly looked over. She kept to herself, and was notoriously much more passive than her husband and would never ask for anything. It was safe to leave her unnoticed.

As Ohio stuffed his face with a new set of garbage trying to pass as edible, Iowa could only sigh.

Today's Menu

Breakfast

Deep fried camera (Polaroid) on a stick

Cornflakes (High in iron)

Roast Beef with a special Cyanide Glaze

Rotten Dragon fruit Salad

Special Hi Potion from M**onalds

She'd had to take a break.

It'd been hard to leave from the table, with her husband glowering at her like she was committing a mortal sin and the servants looking worried for her life, but she'd gotten him to cede. She'd have to thank Jason later for distracting him with that 'special tart' that was probably just a severely burnt S'more.

She went to the garden she'd made herself. It was simple, just a couple bushes of prairie roses and daisies, but what can you do when your husband diverts all the money to food? There were no servants to tend it, so it was up to her. It'd been a while since she'd been able to leave her husband's side, so there was grooming that needed to be done.

"Mrs. Jones?" That was a voice she hadn't heard in a while. She turned from where she knelt next to some tiny corn sprouts to see the head chef, also known as Pennsylvania. He was a feminine sort of man, blonde hair in a ponytail and a soft sort of face, but he was tougher than he looked. "I need to ask you a favor."

She frowned. "I don't know how much I can do, dear, but I can try…" His face brightened and he knelt next to her, taking her hands.

"I want a vacation. I don't need a long one, a week or so will do, but I need something. Ohio has gone completely nuts, I can't ask him. Please?" She frowned even more. Ohio really wouldn't approve. However, the hopeful way he was smiling at her made her pity him.

"W-Well, I suppose I can try-" "What the hell is going on here?"

Her blood ran cold. Ohio was standing in the doorway, a look of murderous rage on his face.

Pennsylvania jumped away from her, trying to conceal his terror. "I-It's not what it looks like, sir, I was just asking the Mistress a favor-" He was cut off due to being lifted off the ground by his collar.

"A favor? My ass that was just a 'favor'. Samantha is my fucking wife and I will be damned before any two-bit servant lays a hand on her! DANIEL, DANIELLE!" The twins popped out of the door, curly dark brown hair in their eyes. "Take this piece of garbage to the kitchen. I've got a new idea…"

Lunch

Stir-fry Soap Chips

Tree Bark Pancakes (Maple Flavored)

Breaded Yarn Balls

Cement Fondue

Philly Cheese Steak (Extra Philly)

Pennsylvania had been wrong. He wasn't insane before. Now, he most definitely was.

During lunch, she couldn't stand to eat anything. She could only watch in horror as Ohio happily breezed through a large stack of cheese steaks. She couldn't think anything but "My God, that was once Pennsylvania," and it took everything in her power not to vomit.

Second to vomiting, she wished she could call her husband out on his inhumanity. "That was a human being, your own brother! How can you sit there eating it, knowing full well what it is, smiling about it?" However, she was a coward. He was more unpredictable now than ever before. Now she knew he was not above cannibalism. She didn't think she could ever bear to kiss him again.

He finished the entire plate without a single hesitation. She felt sick when she realized she was relieved it was over, that she didn't have to see it anymore. She managed to bring a piece of corn up to her mouth when she heard her husband speak for the first time since that incident in the garden. "Utah, come here for a minute, I have a question."

She nearly choked on that piece of corn when she heard the question. "I wonder, what do you taste like?"

Dinner

Blood-red Jell-O (Utah Flavored)

New York-style Pizza with New York Topping

Huckleberry and Idaho Pie

Peach Cobbler with Georgia's Special Red Sauce

Walla Walla Sweet Onion and Washington Stir-fry

Everyone was gone. All the servants, even her own children, dead at his hands. All devoured so callously.

She stared down at her plate, unable to touch any of it. She knew without a doubt that those things that looked like cheese curds on a stick were made from her twin babies, and the thought alone made her cry endlessly, though silently. Her feelings for her husband had gone from love, to hate, to absolute fear.

She was next. She knew it. She wasn't scared, however. She didn't want to live anymore.

Her end came in the hallway. It was so sudden, but she embraced it. The end to her suffering.

He'd wrapped his arms around her waist in a way that was probably meant to be lovingly, petting her hair. It made her smile, remember the days when he was normal. That smile didn't disappear even when she heard him whisper in her ear, "My dear Samantha, I'm still hungry…"

It all went in a blur to her. She vaguely recalled being shoved to the floor and pinned. She remembered the insane look on her husband's face. The knife in his hand.

"I was saving you for last," he said, "I didn't want to hurt you. But my darling, even though all the others that could ever take you away are gone, I can't bear the thought of you ever leaving me…" A smile that split his face. The cold edge of the knife against her cheek. "So I'll eat you. You'll be with me forever…" A sharp pain in her stomach. Blood spreading across the tiled floors. A feeling of teeth in her shoulder. "My darling, you're so sweet…" Darkness.

Midnight Snack

Fair-Style Deep-Fried Des Moines Bits on a Stick (both male and female)

Iowa's Special Corned 'Beef'

There was nothing left. He'd eaten everything. The furniture, the servants, even his darling wife.

Yet Ohio was still hungry.

The people who usually delivered food to the mansion had long since stopped coming. He'd been eating everything he could just to stay alive. He started on his clothes this afternoon. Eventually, he was eating the clothes he'd been wearing.

He stopped suddenly, the fabric of his sleeve in his mouth, when he spotted his hand. A brilliant idea had come to him. It made him smile.

"There's still something I haven't eaten yet."

Last Meal

Raw Human Meat, Courtesy of Ohio

If you were to wander into that decrepit mansion in the countryside, you would first be assaulted by the smell of rotting and blood. You may see a couple of portraits of a man with black hair, but otherwise the place will be devoid of furnishings. The kitchen would be an utter cesspool of human waste, hair and nails, teeth and bones, most of it even looking like someone had been chewing on it.

And in the largest bedroom, you'll find the man from the paintings. He'll be on the floor, chunks of flesh missing from all over. His right hand will be entirely bitten off. Blood will stain both the carpet and his teeth. And he'll be smiling, because he ate everything in the world.

A/N: No, I don't know what's wrong with me. Iowa is the only one that's mine, by the way. Des Moines and West Des Moines belong to Lydiacatfish, and every other character belongs to VstsvajSonce. Conchita belongs to Mothy, so basically I own nothing but the one character. Happy nightmares.