AN: So I watched Halloween when it aired again last week, and I got to wondering just how Nick and Jess got their respective costumes together... especially since Nick doesn't strike me as someone with the artistic skill to pull off a font like the "Arthur" on his shirt very well, nor would he be the type to shell out any money to buy a pre-made shirt with the name on it in the first place (assuming such a thing even existed). Which means that Jess is the obvious person who would have helped him... and then I started wondering how that would've worked given their dynamic after the events of Fluffer. So this is the result. Hopefully it's true to both their characters.
"Dammit!"
Jess dodged the flying sharpie coming out of Nick's room.
"Hey, easy there, partner! You could take an eye out with that... fine-tipped black permanent marker?" She picked up the erstwhile projectile. "What're you doing?" Nick was sitting on the floor, a white T-shirt spread out in front of him with what looked like faded black marks on the front.
"I'm trying to make my Halloween costume."
"Wait, I thought you always went as Betty White? For, like, the last ten years?"
"Well, the costume finally died last year. I got completely drunk, used the wig to wipe up the vomit in the bathroom and then tried to flush it down the toilet. There was no going back after that."
"Oh, so *that's* why the toilet was backed up for like a whole week! I thought you'd eaten some of Schmidt's gourmet food and reacted badly."
"Nah, that backs the toilet up way more than a week."
"I did not need to know that... but I will say, I think you'd kind of moved on past the Betty White costume anyway."
"Yeah? Why do you say that?"
"Well, you didn't really seem that into it last year... not shaving your beard was kind of a clue."
"I *did* say I got completely drunk."
"True. So what's the new costume?"
"Bea Arthur."
"Cool, sticking with a theme... but not seeing how a T-shirt and a sharpie fit in there."
"I picked up one of those headband antenna things for ten cents at a garage sale. Now I just have to write 'Arthur' on this shirt and I'm done."
"Oh, clever! Just don't use that headband for anything other than its intended purpose and that costume'll last another twenty years, right?"
"Yeah, well, after that it's either Rue McClanahan or Estelle Getty and I've got nothin'."
She chuckled. "So why throw the sharpie?"
"I can't get it to write on this damn shirt! I get like an inch of lettering in and then it gets caught. And I think the ink's almost gone, anyway... You don't have another marker I can borrow, do you?"
"Well, I do, but a marker's not going to solve your problem. What you need is a brush and some fabric paint."
He sighed. "Great. Where am I supposed to get that stuff?"
"Um, I have some in my room. I can even paint your shirt for you if you want."
"Seriously? That'd be awesome, thanks!"
"It's no problem. Just show me what you want the letters to look like and I'll have it done in ten minutes."
In Jess's room
"There you go! One Halloween costume, all set. You should leave it here to dry overnight, though, otherwise it'll get ruined."
"Thanks again, Jess." Nick collected the yellow legal pad with the word "Arthur" written across it in capital letters from the floor.
"You're welcome. Now if only my costume would come together that easily," she sighed.
"What're you going as?"
"Well, it's a surprise, but I will say that it'll be pretty scary, since I'll be working at the carnival and I've gotta bring my A-game. I've already got my makeup planned out but I'm still looking for some clothes that'll work."
"Like what? Undead sexy nurse?" He grinned.
"No, actually, that's Rita's costume. But come to think of it - do you have anything lying around that you're ready to throw out? Like, the more holes the better."
"Jess, you've just described half my wardrobe. Don't tell Schmidt I said that - I just fined him five bucks in the jar three days ago for saying the same thing."
"Yeah, well, he probably deserved it anyway. But I mean, like, anything that's so worn out that you might even be willing to throw it out."
"Yeah, probably. You can go ahead and look in my room if you want."
"Great, thanks! Can I look now?"
"Sure, let's go."
In Nick's room
"Oh, my gosh, Nick, how old is this jacket? Were you raising moths in it on purpose?"
He laughed. "I think I wore that to my grandpa's funeral when I was sixteen."
"Why do you even still have it?"
"I don't know... I guess I just didn't want to bother sorting through my clothes to throw stuff out."
"Is it okay if I use this? I might have to tear it up a little more, though, and alter it to fit me. If it survives the process. I don't know if I'll be able to return it in its original condition."
"Jess, look at it. At this point anything you do to it would be an improvement."
"Well, I wasn't going to say it."
"Do you need anything else? I've got another pile of clothes over there." He gestured to a corner behind the door.
"No, this is good... Hey, is anyone going to give you a hard time about this? Giving me clothes for my costume, I mean?"
"I don't think so. Why would they?"
"I don't know... I just wondered... Never mind, it's stupid." She stared at the floor.
"No, what?"
"It's just... after you built me that dresser I feel like I have to second-guess what I ask you for all the time. Like if it's too boyfriend-y, you know? I mean, I know you'll tell me if I'm doing something that makes you uncomfortable now, but I don't want anyone to bust your chops over anything else either."
"Jess, I'll be fine. Besides, you just helped me make my costume, too. It's not like I'm doing this with the thought of getting anything out of it any more than you did."
"Hey, that's true... wait, that's perfect! It's an even exchange now. I get your old stuff for my costume because I helped you make yours."
"...Like a barter."
"Exactly. Which is totally not what two people who're dating would do."
"Not at all."
"Okay, well, in that case, thank you for agreeing to this mutually beneficial business transaction."
"You're very welcome. You still don't want to tell me what you're going as?"
"Nope. But I think you'll like it."
"Can't wait to find out."