Diclaimer: All characters belong to the creators of TV show Victorious!

Author's Note: This takes place at no particular time in the episode sequence, except that Beck and Jade are already broken up. I tried to stay true to the characters and the style of the show, but near the end I think it loses some of the Dan Schneider signature quirkiness. You tell me; please review! :)

If the whole story appears in the first chapter, I'm sorry. :/ It's taking a long time for the fix to go through. Please just stop reading at the first scene change & go right to chapter 2!

[Opening scene, Sikowitz's classroom, Hollywood Arts]

"Okay, my little goats!" Sikowitz claps his hands and eagerly looks at his students.

"Um, why goats?" Tori asks, her head cocked to one side as she frowns at her teacher.

Sikowitz picks up a coconut and drinks from it, loudly, and then answers. "Because goats are kids, and you are my kids! Ha! Aha! Ahahahahaha!"

Everyone is silent. Sikowitz continues. "Anyway. Today, we need to talk about something very important, something very….intimate." He draws out the last word. "Stage kissing!"

Jade rolls her eyes. Andre frowns slightly, and Cat giggles to herself. "One time, my grandmother came over to visit my brother after he got out of the special hospital and-"

"Cat, nobody wants to listen to your story about your brother." Sikowitz walks over to wear Cat is sitting and puts his hands on her head. "This is a, shall we say, delicate topic, and I need no interruptions! Now. As I was saying…yes. Stage kissing! You are all terrible at it!"

He waits for the news to sink in. Nobody seems affected, and Sikowitz can see he's not getting through to his class. "Your kissing…doesn't feel….real."

"So how do we make it look real?" Robbie asks.

"Ah, good question! And here is the answer: You," he points to Robbie, "must imagine that you are in love with the actress whom you are kissing. SO! I need a volunteer."

Everyone suddenly avoids Sikowitz's eyes and exclaims, "Not me, no way, I'm not gonna kiss…" All except Jade, who stares at Sikowitz, daring him to call on her.

"Beck!" he yells. "I choose you."

"Yeah? Who do you want me to kiss?" Beck grins a little, intrigued about this exercise.

"Tori!"

A loud yell comes from the other side of the room, where Jade is sitting. She glares at Tori, an extremely evil look on her face. Then she growls, "I. Don't. Think. So."

Tori looks scared, then glances at Sikowitz. "Um, I don't think that's a good idea…"

"I'll kiss Tori," Robbie offers. Cat giggles and lightly hits Robbie on his arm.

Sikowitz walks back onto the stage, and holds his hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay, maybe that wasn't such a good idea. But, we DO need to work on your stage kissing. And so here is your assignment, due one week from now on Thursday. I will pair you all up together, and you must write a scene in which you two kiss. You will hand your script in to me in class then perform it privately sometime during the rest of the week or the following week. Are we clear?"

Everyone nods, though no one looks happy. The bell rings, signaling the end of class, and the students rush to leave.

"I'll post the partners by the end of today! And you may switch partners if you wish," Sikowitz yells.

"Man, this is gonna be a weird assignment," Tori says to her friends. "What if I get some creepy guy? Like Robbie?"

"Hey!" he protests.

Beck laughs. "Don't worry, like Sikowitz said, if you don't like your partner, you can switch."

Tori sighs and runs her hands through her hair quickly, then brightens. "You guys wanna grab some lunch?"

A chorus of "Yeah, sure, sounds good" erupts, and Tori, Andre, Beck, Robbie, and Cat make their way to the Asphalt Cafe.