Hi everyone! I'm French, and this is my first English OS, so please be lenient. It's actually a song-fic, something I had never done before. So many new things!
The song is by Alanis Morissette and is called Your House (hence the title).
Many thanks to J.K. Rowling for the wonderful universe that she created for us.
Warning: The story originally alternated with the lyrics of the song. I was recently informed that lyrics should not be copied from websites, so I have to remove them. The story will be less structured, which is not pleasing me, but I don't have a choice, so I hope you'll like anyway. If you want to follow this short OS with the lyrics, feel free to find them on the Internet and read them while reading this OS. Thanks for understanding!
YOUR HOUSE
.
x
It was not the first time I came back to your house. Hesitation was definitely consuming me, but at the same time I knew I had to do this. Again. One last time, I promised myself. I had to come back and feel as bad as possible. So that, maybe, when I left, I would never feel as awful. And then...
x
The smell of you. It filled me as quickly as the tears filled my eyes. I had never promised I wouldn't cry, because I knew myself: I could never be as strong as you had wished me to be. My Gryffindor courage had led my steps to your house, but I was weak. I hope you'll forgive me.
Thoughts of you would never leave me. Thoughts of what we had lived, of what we had shared, and of what you had taught me. Love. That's what you had taught me. And you had done a bloody good job of it.
x
I shouldn't be here, I know.
You had taught me love, and I had taught you respect. Not Slytherin respect, but simple respect. And how to earn respect from others, without being your old, usual selfish self. And here I was, breaking into your house, feeling awful and weak, what you hated most of all, and losing your trust. Disrespecting your wishes. Never would you have wanted me to come, am I right?
x
I know you will never forgive me. But my tears danced with the water in your shower, while I danced in rhythm with my sadness. And I knew that, outside, the sun was shining as if my sorrow was the tiniest and most unimportant thing in the world. Maybe it was, but all my thoughts were on you, all my body was feeling your loss, and grief was all I had.
And I had taught you forgiveness, but maybe you forgot?
x
Your smell. That cologne that drove me crazy for so many years. Crazier than your insults, crazier than our friendly banters, and crazier than the smell of old parchment. You had me wrapped around your slender finger, and then you left. You never gave me time to adjust. How was I supposed to stay on my feet? Yeah, the unshakeable Hermione Granger suddenly feeling as lost as an owl without a letter to deliver. Because of you. Because you left me.
x
The Slytherin with a fake facial expression. The Slytherin with hidden thoughts. The Slytherin who loved music, one of the worst sins that you could have had, according to your family. And also one of the best sins you could have had, according to me. The Slytherin without the standard hatred towards muggle-borns. The one who hid it so well that he made me loathe him for nine years, and then who reappeared with a smile on his face, and with all of his secrets. I found your secrets. I loved them. And you left me.
x
I had to leave. Yes, leaving was be the reasonable thing to do, but I couldn't help but want to stay forever. In this place where so many memories had been created, where I could almost touch them and smell them. And I remembered that you would not be home soon, because you were away. I remembered that you would stay away forever, just as I wanted to stay at your house forever.
x
I know that in the end, you will forgive me, and deep inside, I wish you wouldn't. You refusing to forgive me would mean so many things. Happiness would return, smiling would appear just around the corner of your bedside table, you would get mad at me for stealing your cologne; but I wouldn't give a Hippogriff's behind, because you would be here, with me.
x
There's a letter. You know, this letter. There, on your desk. Oh, how many times had I read those words? One time too many, you would say, and I would agree with you, because right now I feel destroyed. Destroyed in the inside, burning like a thousand flames, and destroyed in the outside, water flowing out of my eyes, trying to stop the flames from growing, and never succeeding. One time too many. I shouldn't have come.
x
It was yours. Your elegant writing. And I'd better go, before not being able to leave. Before not being able to remember why I came here in the first place. You know that I went to your house to try and stop mourning, to feel weak and sad and at my worst. In the hope of feeling better afterwards. So please, forgive me...
x
Because I simply can't get over your death, Draco Malfoy.
A/N
If you spot a mistake, just let me know!
I know the song wasn't about death, but I wanted it to be, instead of him breaking up with her. That was my interpretation!
Please review and tell me what you think :)
My answer to B (guest): First things first, thanks a LOT for your beautiful review, it went straight to my heart :) As for the sentence: 'The one who hid it so well that he made me him loathe him for nine years' is about Drago (he) who made Hermione loathe him for nine years, before reappearing into her life, but in a different light (hence the following 'and then who reappeared with a smile on his face, and with all of his secrets'. The smile on his face is to show that he acts as if nothing ever happened (the war, his actions in school towards Hermione and her friends, etc.), and his secrets are his hidden opinions, and what he'd been doing between the end of the war and his reappearance). Does that make more sense? If not (and you actually read this ^^), I'll think of another way of saying it. Thanks again, your review means a lot!
~ Delfine