Yeah well, I saw Hairspray then when I got home this just came into my head. Don't ask.

Basically the story is Tsunade singing about when she was Konoha Queen... The song is actually suppose to be 'The Legend of Miss Baltimore Crabs'

Tsunade Velma Von Tussle
Sakura Amber Von Tussle
Ino Tammy
Hinata, Tenten, and Temari -other council girls-
Sasuke Link (Makes no sense I know)

Key:

Italics mean speaking or actions

Bold means almost shouty or...something.

Also, when I say 'Girls' and I don't put any specific name then that means it's all of the girls except Tsunade unless her names there.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Hairspray.

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Tsunade: Front Step, Cha cha cha
Back Step, Cha Cha Cha
Side Step, Front Step, Back, and Turn.

Choji: Oh my god Shikamaru there's Sasuke! Sasuke! I can't believe I'm really here auditioning!

Shikamaru: And I can't believe I'm really here watching you audition!

Tsunade: Front Step, Cha cha cha
Back Step, Cha Cha Cha
Side Step, Front Step, Back, and Tu-
Oh Sakura look at this modely crew. Oh this town sure has gone down hill since I was Mi-

Sakura: Oh sensei not more ancient history!

Tsunade: Oh My God.
How Times have changed!
These girls must be blind, or completely deranged!
But Time seemed to halt when I won Miss Konoha Queen.
Sakura! That move is far too dirty!

Sakura: Sensei, wake up from that dream of yours this isn't 1930!

Tsunade: You can laugh but life's a test.
Don't do this! Don't do that!
Remember, Sensei knows best.
With the kunais in the chest,
From when I won Miss Konoha Queen!

Sakura: These moves are Perfect Ammunition.

Tsunade: Let me show you how Sensei, took out the competition!
Girls! Go get 'em!
Boys! Let's rumba.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Tsunade: Those poor Runner ups, might still hold some grudges!
They padded their cups
But I screwed the judges
Those Broads thought they'd win
If a plate they would spin in their dance
Not a chance!
Boys put me down!
Oh good Morning Ladies!
Let's see what you got.

Sakura, Ino, Tenten, Hinata, and Temari:
Twist, Twist
Twist, Twist
Mash Po-ta-toe
Mom-bo

Tsunade: Ready? Begin!
On my show you'll never find
A thrusting Hip or Bumping Grind

Sakura: What's that a dance for fleas and ticks?

Tsunade: Oh you should've seen my back up tricks!
I hit the stage, Batons Ablaze!
While Belting High C's
And preparing Souffles
But that triple Somersault
Is how I clinched Miss Konoha Queen!

-music plays in-

Tsunade: Proceed

Ino: Are you scared we're on live?

Choji: No, I'm sure I can cope!

Sakura: Well this show isn't broadcast in, -Ino, Hinata, Tenten, and Temari join in- CINEMASCOPE!

Tsunade: I never drank One Chocolate Malt, no desserts for Miss Konoha Queen!

Sakura: This one will never get a date in those Hand-me-down clothes!

Tsunade: Ha! Kid, She'll never get a date until daddy buys her a new nose!
I would say 'Oi Gevalt!'
If I wasn't Miss Konoha Queen!

Sakura: Do you dance like you dress?

Sasuke: Sakura there's no need to be cruel!

Tsunade: Would you swim in an intergrated pool?

Choji: I sure would! I'm all for Intergration! It's the new frontier!

Tsunade: Not in Konoha it isn't, and may I be frank?
First impressions an be tough but when I saw you I knew it,
If your size wasn't enough, Your last answer just blew it.
And so my dear! So short and stout.
You'll never be in,

Tsunade and girls: SO WE'RE KICKING YOU OUT!

Tsunade: With your form and your face,
Oh. Well it isn't your fault,
Your just down with a case of Miss

Tsunade and girls: KON-O-HAAAA QUEEEEEN!

Tsunade: Eh, you may go.

Choji: Um...Thank you.

Shikamaru: I think they secretly liked you!

Shino: May I please audition?

Tsunade: Of course not, but you may bow and exault
'Cuz I am Miss KON-O-HAAAAA QUEEEEEN!

Girls: QUEEN! QUEEN! QUEEN!