The Gift of Shanshu

by Lady Callista

Distribution: Anyone who has permission for any of my other stories may have this too. Others, ask and I will most likely give permission.
Feedback: The next best thing to having Angel chained to my…um, never mind.
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Joss, the WB, Mutant Enemy, (the evil)FOX, and whoever else came up with them.
Spoilers: Pretty much everything Buffy season 5, especially "The Gift." If you haven't seen this episode, you may not want to read this. Although I do change the ending, so it may not matter a whole lot. I'm just letting you know so I can't be accused of ruining it for someone.
Premise: What if Dawn had closed the portal as she wanted to?
Author's Notes: This isn't my best story, but it's a cute one. For those of you waiting for my next LoveOdyssey story, I will be doing a few more, don't worry, I'm just not sure where I'm going with it yet. This is an old one, so I should get the whole thing posted in a few days.

Story starts most of the way through "The Gift"

"Buffy, you have to let me do this." Dawn pleaded as she looked in her sister's eyes as they stood atop the tower that Glory had constructed.

"Dawn, I can't do this again. I can't lose someone I love to…" Buffy started to cry slightly.

"You won't be losing me, Buffy." Dawn smiled, her face showing for the first time a maturity beyond her years. "I'll always be with you, just like Angel is."

"Dawnie…"

"I know you've never forgotten him, Buffy. You still say his name all the time when you sleep." Dawn said sheepishly. "It'll be the same with me." Buffy's tears came harder, and Dawn put an arm around her. It was as if their roles as big and little sister had suddenly reversed.

"You know it's the right thing to do." Dawn whispered. "The world needs you."

"I know, that's why it's so hard." Buffy could barely speak. Suddenly her voice hardened. "It's too hard." With those words, Buffy turned and started to run towards the end of the plank, as she had come to think of it.

Dawn watched her take off and knew she couldn't allow this to happen. She ran after her sister and tackled her to the ground.

Buffy was on her feet and facing her in an instant, but that was all Dawn needed. She gave Buffy a hard shove, causing the Slayer to fall to the lower level of the platform.

"I love you Buffy, I'm sorry." Dawn called down to her as she leaped off of the plank and fell into the opening portal.

"DAWN!!!" Buffy screamed as her sister dove into the opening hole in the universe. "NO!!!"

LoVeLoVeLoVeLoVeLoVeLoVeLoVeLoVe

The Scooby Gang looked up in shock as Dawn's body came crashing through the now clear sky, the portal gone from sight. No one could believe it.

"Dawnie." Willow whispered as the others started in shock.

Several minutes passed before they realized that Buffy hadn't come back down from the tower.

Spike was the first to notice it, and he immediately headed up the tower. By the time the others had collected themselves enough to go after Buffy, Spike was already coming towards them, carrying the blond Slayer in his arms like a dead weight.

"She won't move or talk." Spike said softly as he approached them.

"Buffy…" Willow whispered as she came over and put a hand on Buffy's arms, which hung limply down from her body.

"There's nothing left to say." Buffy whispered as Spike slowly lowered her to her feet.

"What Dawn did…" Giles took a step closer.

"Was what had to be done." Buffy said woodenly. "I know. I also know it was the last thing a Summers will ever do for the Powers."

"What?"

"I'm done." Buffy said softly. She then repeated herself at a yell, facing the heavens with her arms spread wide. "You hear that? I'M DONE! I'm never slaying another vamp, or killing another demon, or averting another apocalypse just so you can come and throw something ten times worse at me."

"Buffy," Xander said softly.

"No, I'm done." Buffy repeated. "It's like some cosmic game. Let's see how much we can fuck with her life before she breaks. Let's throw everything at her that we can and see how she handles it. I'm the Slayer. I'm supposed to fight for the Powers. And they're supposed to be in charge of the universe. And I have the worst possible life ever. That just doesn't add up. So I quit."

"Buffy, whatever you may think now, the universe is not out to get you…" Giles tried again.

"Merrick, Daddy, Jesse, Ford, Ms. Calendar, Angel, Riley, Mom, and now Dawn. That's nine people that have either died or just left me in the five years I've been Slayer. And that's just the major ones!!!!" Buffy ticked them off on her fingers morbidly. "And as long as I'm alive, no other girl is gonna be called and go through this bull. No other girl who has to grow up way too fast, no other girl who has to lose herself to a job that no one even knows she does."

"Buffy…"

"The Powers that Be wanna screw with me? Let's see how long they can get along without me." Buffy let that final line go with a devastating calmness, as if all emotion had been completely drained from her.

"Can I drive you home?" Willow said softly from her side. Unlike the others, she realized that now was not the best time to argue with Buffy.

Buffy gave a small nod of her head and the two girls headed away slowly, Willow giving Tara one last look as they left. Tara nodded her approval. Everyone stood there for a moment, before Xander started moving again. "I'm gonna get Anya to the hospital."

"Quite right." Giles replied. "I'll drive you."

"I'll come with." Tara trailed after them.

Left alone, Spike walked slowly over to where Dawn's body lay. Taking off his coat and laying it over her chest and head, he started to cry softly. Then he pulled out his cell phone. Grimacing in frustration when an answering machine picked up on the other end, he started to speak into it.

"Angel, are you there? No, well, as soon as you hear this, you bloody well better give me a ring. It's about your girl." He said the last bitterly as he hung up his phone.

Then he gently picked up Dawn's body and carried her back to his place. He could find out what Buffy wanted to do with the body later.

FrIeNdShIpFrIeNdShIpFrIeNdShIpFrIeNdShIp

"I don't wanna talk about it Willow." Buffy said softly as Willow turned down the covers of her bed like a worried mother.

"Buffy, it might help to…"

"Nothing's gonna help, Willow." Buffy whispered miserably. "There's nothing left to fight for."

Willow caught the way she said the last words, as if there was something significant to them. "What do you mean?"

"Angel," Buffy replied brokenly. "I asked him one time why we should bother to fight, when we were never going to win. He said we fought because there were things worth fighting for. I fought because of him. And because of Dawn. Now that they're both gone, what's the point?" Buffy lay down on her bed and turned so her back was to Willow.

"There's always a point." Willow whispered quietly. "And you'll find it soon." Willow headed for the door, chanting softly a spell that would allow Buffy to sleep.

She left the room, and Buffy fell into an uneasy sleep.

She kept seeing Dawn's face.

Buffy woke suddenly a few hours later, but couldn't determine what had made her wake up. She lay there for a second, confused, when suddenly she felt the reason why.

"Go away." She whispered without opening her eyes.

There was no response, and Buffy suddenly wondered if she had been mistaken about what she felt. She opened her eyes, which were still red from crying in her sleep, and turned to face the window. She had been right. "Go away, Angel." She repeated.

But Angel didn't leave. He only came closer to her, moving from where he had sat in her windowsill to stand beside her bed. "I heard what happened."

TBC….