Title: Things Unsaid
Author: AurelianMagelet
Summary: Warning: contains spoilers for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Revelations abound in the things unsaid, but whether they'll be found, depends on the mind that they're in.
Disclaimer: According to the New College Edition of The American Heritage Dictionary, "a repudiation or denial of claim". Not mentioned in The American Heritage Dictionary are AurelianMagelet's acknowledged Connotations of a Disclaimer: 1: where the rights to something (in this case, the character and recognizable plots) belong to someone else (JK Rowling) and where a third party (see author of fanfiction) is just borrowing and means no copyright infringement. 2: Where the author (of the fanfic) is not making any money off the written work (the fanfiction), for reasons contained in connotation 1. Obviously, since this fic contains a disclaimer and the listed connotations, the aforementioned apply to the following:
Part I
It's the darkness, growing on you, even as the light does the same, and for a moment you're torn between the two. But the light isn't heaven and the darkness isn't hell, which really takes away any focus you might've retained otherwise. Besides which, you know that going towards either will get you nowhere but where you're going anyway.
And there's a sense of anticipation, combined with the free-fall feeling of impatience: what's coming isn't here fast enough, even if your body swears it should be. Your sense of direction is infallible because there's really only one direction left when your body chooses to sever whatever ties it has to the world and those still in it. Your thoughts, on the other hand, are only on the world and the ties you have with it, and those who've left it, and those who will remain in it long after you've found your final reward. And it's funny to think of this as any kind of reward, because once you've gone your passing will only become solid and real to those left behind: it hardly seems real to you.
Certainly the world feels less real than the smoky dream you're falling into, and it's at this point that you realize it is a reward. Because you're a lot closer to your dreams than you ever managed to get while you were alive, and although some part regrets the things left unsaid and the things left undone, a larger part of you knows that it's been a life well lived and a job well done: regardless of the fact that you can't really say you've lived your life at all.
Merlin knows you've never really explained it to anyone, which somehow makes it that much less real to you. It was harder to tolerate that fact while you were alive, but now that the darkness and light are growing on you…and fading on you…something wonders if it isn't easier this way.
/"Take…it…Take…it…"\
And it's taken, which just dulls the edges of harsh reality that little bit more and draws you just a bit further into the dream that's waited for fulfillment: and it doesn't make sense that the dream is there—not that you're in a position to question it—because inexplicably the dream has lasted longer than your ability to have any hope for it. Which somehow makes it all the more appealing: you've retained the anticipation without knowing it—and you're just rediscovering it—and the fact that it's all within reach makes it that little bit sweeter.
But it's bittersweet as well. And you manage to say/"Look…at…me…"\ and he actually obeys without question—a first, some distant part of you notes—but it's what is needed: Green meets black.
You're not alone anymore, and you're content with that. Forgiveness is never spoken of between you, but concern for him is almost entirely beyond you now…and you're not sure if it's you or him who needs forgiveness the most anyway. But your time is so much closer than his…and he needs to get beyond this point to where he needs to be…and you know that there's somewhere else you want to be.
Besides, you've always known more about what's been going on than he has, and there's little reason it should be any different now. You'll keep the upper hand for a little while longer: it's only Slytherin, after all.
Anything that occurs in the world beyond this action is no longer of your concern…best leave that to the living…and that's something that you're all too willing to do.
You'll leave your epitaph in someone else's mind.
/ quote \ : Direct phrasing/quotes from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.