Evan and his Partner
It starts out in the mission after training.
Evan: Remember, this is Splinter Cell, not Halo.
Bob: Okay.
Evan: I'll deal with the guards while you wait here.
Bob: But I gotta go!
Evan: WTF man, there is no bathroom in Splinter Cell.
Guard: Singing a song while wetting myself.
Evan: Sneaks up behind guard
Bob: Wets himself
Evan: Grab guard
Guard: HELP ME! OH MY GOD, HELP ME!
Evan: Shhhh!
Alarm: Breeeeeeeeeeeee Breeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Evan: Shiznit.
Bob: That's gangsta homie g's.
Evan: Kills guard and takes out pistol
Bob: I gottacha Takes out a rocket launcher
Evan: NOOOOO!
Bob: Fires a shot at the guards who are very close to Evan.
Evan: Flies over the gate of the mission
Bob: Hey, I can't rescue you.
Evan: God, why him.
MISSION FAILED.