"Kenji"

eriesalia (usual disclaimers folks)

note: takes place during Kaden epilogue

My kindness can be cruel.

Or that is what I've been told, as I tease , coax, and scold those closest around me.

I'm only kidding, is what I say as I toss my head and cover my smile with my hand. But somewhere deep inside I admit that it is the truth.

It is reflex, really borne of a self-hatred -- despite the years of penance I have made by living a productive life in Aizu -- that even now still exists somewhere deep inside me.

Yahiko sounds almost ecstatic as he discovers the last of the food I had brought to this picnic. But not as ecstatic as Misao, who has already tasted the cakes I brought. As Yahiko provokes her for her childishness, I smile and begin teasing both for their equally childish ways (to which they predictably react with indignation).

I can sense the growing sense of annoyance from Kaoru and alarm from Shinomori.

Kenshin interrupts our banter by thrusting Kenji into my hands. I look at him for a moment, wondering why. But he nods as he stands and his eyes move in the direction of Kaoru and then back towards the trees. "The trees are beautiful, Megumi-dono."

"Ah." I nod. "Enjoy your walk Ken-san."

I am aware of Misao and Yahiko continuing to squabble, but only barely. Instead, I am looking down at the face of the child that represents the combined hope of both Kenshin and Kaoru -- the child that signifies the end of Kenshin's wandering journeys.

He is so much like Kenshin, the man who I loved at one time because he was the one who understood most and accepted me regardless. The man that loved me in return, but not in the way that I had wanted five years ago. The man I had decided to leave, in order to allow him and Kaoru to have their own happiness.

And shortly after Kenji -- whose face is so much like Kenshin's and yet is untouched, unscarred -- entered this world.

Kenji.

His birth signified the formation of family -- something which has eluded all of us present here today at this picnic.

The birth of hope.

Kenji allows me to only hold him for a few moments, before he squirms with a strength remarkable for a child his age and toddles away.
I feel an ache for only a moment at the emptiness left behind before I find sudden amusement yet again.

Kenji has discovered Shinomori, and with the boldness typical for a young child, is gazing upon the man without any fear.

His attentions do not go unnoticed. Misao and Yahiko have stopped their chatter, perhaps as surprised as I to see the child instinctively do what others would not. Shinomori, despite the five years that he has had to meditate upon the direction his life had taken, even before he and I had met -- is still formidable. But the child does not know this. Instead he is moving towards him curiously.

As Kenji stumbles (his legs still not strong enough to maintain his standing all that time), I rise with alarm.

But half a second later, Shinomori has caught the child and righted him again on his feet.

Kenji looks at him once before I stretch my arms out and coax the child back into them.

Yahiko shakes his head, noting then that I spoil the child just as much as Kaoru.

He turns red with embarassment when I joke that someday Kenji will turn out to be just as handsome as his own father. I laugh slyly as I notice the horrified expression on Misao's face. "I suppose twenty-five years is a rather insurmountable age gap," I pat Kenji's head affectionately. "If it were only ten--" I say jokingly
.
Misao surprises me by blushing slightly. At that, I raise my eyebrow and out of the corner of my eye note an entirely unreadable response from Shinomori.

Deftly, I turn the topic yet into another joke. I wink at Tsubame. "But Yahiko-kun is spoken for, so I think that I'll just have to settle going back to Aizu by myself."

I laugh and laugh as two more faces blush, and ignore the intent gaze of the puzzled man sitting across from me.

I haven't laughed like this since the time I left. I think wickedly of how else to torture my surrogate family, but they are all spared my merciless teasing by the return of Kenshin and Kaoru , whose soft expressions speak of indeed, how much has changed.
Kenji -- one of the reasons for that look of happiness on their face -- perks up at their return and like the dutiful son that he is, leaves my arms to find his mother.

As he throws himself into her arms, she embraces him and holds him. She catches my eye as I watch, and her eyes smile her thanks for watching her son, even for the short time that I did.

In turn, I find myself thanking her -- for allowing me to hold that precious son for a time, that symbol of hope.


The sound of happy eating and chattering resumes but I turn my head and look up at the falling blossoms, thinking.

Perhaps someday when I come to the end of my journey of healing, I shall have a Kenji of my own.


A/n: a short one-hour piece of work. (Again, trying to stay away from epics for awhile.) This serves multiple purposes: one to make a statement about my feeling about the fate of the RK universe (kicking Sessouhen around), and what Kenji should have signifiied in particular. Also, I've been itching to write a first person from Megumi's perspective for a while that is a bit well, angsty in its own way. She fascinates me. I can't say this necessarily belongs to the universe of RK fics I have right now -- but choose to read into it as much as you wish.