I do not own TVD. If I did, Delena WOULD NOT exist. EVER!
I'm a Stelena fan. Just thought I'd put that out there and I have not been pleased with what's happening between Delena at all. I know that this is a love triangle and that this was bound to happen. But there are some morals that were crossed here and I believe that Elena has changed since becoming a vampire. I believe Damon should have someone that loves him as much as he loves them, but I don't think it's fair for him to be with Elena. That's just my opinion.
Summary: Now that Stefan knows Elena's been sleeping with Damon, Stefan is royally pissed. And when they're trapped at school for the evening, tempers flare and he finally lets it out. But will Elena truly show that she's over Stefan and in love with Damon? Or will Stefan's breaking point be the moment when she realizes that Stefan is still her only love? And if that's the case, has she screwed up everything for good?
Last Love Song
All these notes and all these words, No more white picket fences,
Are all that's left in me,
Bend these pages, count my woes,
One last song to set me free,
No more lace veils or vows,
No more "You're the only one" 'cause that's all done with now,
This is the last love song I'll ever write for you,
This is the last love song I'll ever write for you,
This is the last love song I'll ever write for you,
This is the last love song I'll ever write for you, oh
Last Love Song by ZZ Ward
OOOOO
Elena was feeling horrible. Not only had she been separated from Damon for an entire week – which was gruesome because she seriously missed the warmth of his body when they slept together at night and the happiness that radiated off of him whenever she kissed him seemed like a distant memory now – but Stefan had been pretty much avoiding her. Sure, they broke up and she told him to let her go, but when did Stefan start avoiding her?
"Elena," Caroline called, throwing an eraser at the back of her head and officially taking Elena from her thoughts. Elena blinked before her eyes turned to a concerned Caroline, who was strangely studying with Stefan on the other side of the room.
What was with the distance?
"I'm fine. Just…um, thinking," she replied to the pretty blonde and smiled to Bonnie and Matt, who were giving her the same concerned look. Elena heard Stefan snort from behind her and rolled her eyes before turning around in her seat to stare at her ex.
Now that Elena was fully staring at him, she started noticing things. Stefan was not looking at her the same anymore. There was always this light in his gorgeous green eyes that made her smile for no apparent reason and made warmth flood in her chest. He looked at her like she was the most beautiful, most precious thing in the universe, like he wanted to treasure her. It was always that look with that small, quirky smile that would make her feel like the luckiest girl in the world; it made her feel special. Although, now that Elena thought about it, Damon looked at her like she was the sexiest, most amazing thing that ever walked this earth. It was as if he would starve to death if he couldn't have her and she felt protected under his electric-blue eyes.
But still, there was something missing in Stefan's eyes. That warmth, the light that Elena had come to love and adore was gone. And she was so lost as to when that light left. It hadn't when they broke up; there was still a glimmer of it even in his Ripper phase. So, when did that light die? And why in the hell was Elena thinking about that now?
"What?" Elena asked and Stefan smirked, this look on his face reminding Elena of his cold, snarky days as Ripper Stefan.
"Just wondering if the withdrawal symptoms have kicked in yet," he replied sarcastically and Elena narrowed his eyes at him suspiciously as Caroline kicked Stefan's leg from underneath their table.
"Stop it," she heard Caroline try to hiss and Stefan simply shrugged with a small smirk, going back to his notes even though they all knew Stefan knew this crap like the back of his hand.
"No. What was that supposed to mean?"
A silence filled the room as Stefan refused to answer her and Elena could feel worry and anxiety fill her. She had been worried for the past few days that Caroline had told Stefan, afraid even. Their break-up was calm and most people knew that the repercussions from such a chilled yet important event in their relationship would only lead to epic, grotesque fallout. But she had begged Caroline not to. Elena had wanted to do it; she just was afraid and not ready for it.
How do you tell the guy that you once loved more than anyone else that you were with his brother? It was expected, but still. Elena knew Stefan and Stefan would not be okay with them being together. It was one of the reasons, she thinks, that Damon sent her away from him.
"Nothing at all, Elena," Stefan answered, green eyes piercing her where she sat. After not really having eye contact with Stefan for a while, Elena was shocked at the clear green of his eyes, at the bottomlessness of those orbs. Her breath caught in her throat for a moment as she stared before the need to turn around became overbearing, forcing Elena to turn around in her seat and let out a deep exhale.
And she didn't even need to breathe. She was a fucking vampire for god's sake!
"You okay," Bonnie mouthed and Elena nodded slowly, picking up her pencil and chewing on it.
There was a tension now, not like there wasn't before. But now, it was palpable and Elena felt like she could cut through it and it would still be there, suffocating her to no end. And what was worse was that she didn't know how to fix it. She and Stefan had had epic moments before, some that still makes her question why they hell they had been so in love before. And now, thinking about that, Elena found herself questioning everything.
Was she even still in love with Stefan? And if not, when did she fall out of love with him? She remembered swearing to Damon that no matter what she felt for him, she couldn't un-fall for Stefan. Elena still didn't see how that would be possible. She and Stefan had been through so much and still found their way back to each other. So, what had changed?
"I'm taking a break," Stefan told Caroline and walked out of the classroom, leaving the three lifelong best friends together. Well, Matt was there too, but that wasn't the point. And Elena whirled on the blonde.
"You told him, didn't you?" Elena accused and Caroline sighed, not even pretending to put on a guilty face.
"Yeah, I did." Elena was on her feet in seconds, staring at Caroline with a look of disbelief and betrayal.
"After I asked you not to!?" Elena faintly heard Bonnie telling her to calm down, that she was vamped out. But Elena wasn't listening and she damn sure didn't care. When the fuck did Caroline's loyalty shift from someone she had known all her life to some vampire that she had only met last year? What happened to trusting your best friends? "I thought that when your best friend asks you to not tell someone something, you actually listen to your best friend." Caroline fixed her with a glare.
"And I thought that when you say you're gonna tell someone the truth, you actually do it," Caroline shot back and Elena bristled, seething. Bonnie sighed and shared a look with Matt.
Definitely gonna be a long night, they both thought.
"That's not fair, Caroline." Caroline rolled her eyes.
"How in the hell is that not fair, Elena?" She snapped with the same tone Elena had used when saying her name. "You were supposed to tell Stefan yourself. And I'm sorry, but you knew I couldn't lie to Stefan. We all figured that out when you told me not to tell him about you seeing Katherine, remember?"
Okay, Caroline had her at that point. Caroline had failed miserably to keep Stefan from coming after her at the tomb. Sure, that should have been a clue for Elena to simply keep her relationship with Damon a secret from Caroline for a while longer or at least until after she told Stefan. But still, Caroline had no right to tell him.
"That was not your place," Elena decided to say and Caroline scoffed, folding her arms over her chest.
"You're right. It wasn't," Caroline conceded before narrowing her now icy blue eyes at Elena. "Because as his ex-girlfriend who's now fucking his brother and who is the love of his life, it was your job and you were stalling and you know it!" Elena winced at that, hating how Caroline's words stung.
Elena knew that she was wrong about being with Damon only twenty-four hours after breaking up with Stefan; she knew that. She wasn't in denial about it. But it still stung that someone could point that out.
"Okay," Bonnie cut in, standing up and placing a calming hand on Elena's shoulders. She hated how her best friends were going at it and as much as she understood Caroline's distaste of Damon and Elena, she also couldn't be as harsh to Elena. It was Elena's decision and Bonnie would stick by her no matter how much she disagreed and disliked her best friend being involved with the older Salvatore. "I think you both need to calm down." Elena shook her head, brushing off Bonnie's hand.
"I need to talk with Stefan," she announced and headed for the door, but Caroline sped in front of her and pushed her back gently.
"That's not a good idea." Elena glared at Caroline fiercely.
"As a minor character in this story, that's not your call to make," Elena growled and Caroline frowned.
"And as the girl who broke his heart, it's not yours either." Both girls – both former head cheerleaders – stared each other down before Caroline sighed. "It won't end good for you, Elena. He's angry and vulnerable right now."
"I need to talk to Stefan," Elena pressed, a sudden desperation appearing in her voice. And Caroline noticed because her eyes widened for a second before she sighed, stepping out of the way.
"Don't say I didn't warn you," the blonde said as Elena brushed past her, trying to shake off the dark feeling that swept over at Caroline's chilling words.
OOOOOO
"Stefan, we need to talk," Elena said the minute she walked into the classroom and Stefan closed his eyes, taking a few deep, calming breaths. Honestly, he didn't feel like doing anything and he damn sure didn't want to talk to Elena.
"There's nothing to talk about, Elena," he told her in a defeated tone and Elena stopped where she was, guilt eating up at her heart. Elena sighed, rubbing her face gently before staring at Stefan's back.
"I know that you know about me and Damon." Elena watched Stefan tense and her chest began to feel tight, emotion beginning to clog her throat. But she swallowed it down because Caroline was right. It had been her job to be honest with him and she had been stalling. "And I didn't mean for you to find out that way. I was going to –
"And in what way were you going to let me know, huh, Elena?" Stefan growled and Elena flinched as he turned to her hard, angry green eyes. "Have me walk into the house to see Damon screwing your brains out on the living room floor?" His words caused the breath Elena had been holding to leave her and now Elena was left feeling bereft and strangely naked to Stefan's eyes.
"Stefan, I –
"So, please, Elena. Humor me right now," Stefan continued in that same threatening yet still calm tone. It was nerve-wracking and terrifying and Elena could definitely see how in the hell Stefan and Klaus could be friends. "What is there to talk about? How many more ways can you rip my heart out?"
There. That question was said and out in the open and Stefan never felt more weighed down by those words. Because Elena could answer and it could be the worst thing he ever heard. And he could explode at her and then they'd be at a place that neither of them had ever been when it came to each other. After all, they were Stefan and Elena. He just found out that they were in the running for being the "couple of the year" in the senior yearbook – the fucking irony. Nobody must've noticed that they weren't together anymore or even talking.
"Stefan, I…" Tears sprung to Elena's eyes and she bit them back, taking a step towards him before stopping. Being close to Stefan would only make the situation worse, so Elena kept her distance. And that hurt because they had never needed that. And now they were so far away from each other and Elena didn't know what to do. "I'm so sorry. I never meant for you to be hurt. I just…"
"I know," Stefan whispered softly, closing his eyes as unnecessary tears decided to appear. He refused to cry over this, refused to be so emotionally scarred. "I know, Elena. But it still hurts the same." Those words echoed in Elena's head and she watched Stefan pull out a chair and sit down, rubbing the bridge of his nose.
There had been a finality in their break-up that Elena had overlooked before. She had simply nodded and let it go, knowing that it was for the best to let Stefan go. But now that she allowed herself to go back to that point, regret filled her. What had she said at that point that had comforted him – that had attempted to lighten the situation? Nothing. And that hurt because she knew Stefan and she knew he had been so hurt.
"I just need you to tell me something and to be completely honest with me now, Elena," Stefan said and his eyes rose to Elena's as a tear slipped from her eye. "Do you love him?" Elena nodded, feeling more tears gather and run down her face.
"I-I think so," she replied. "Yes." Stefan nodded, running a hand over his hair and sighed. He even let out a small chuckle, which sounded so heartbreaking to Elena and made her let out a sob.
"You know…I was waiting so long for you to finally admit it and now, I'm not exactly sure how I'm supposed to take it." The silence that stretched between them added more distance and Elena faintly remembered a time when they could hardly be apart, when it would kill her to be even a classroom away from Stefan. And now, there was so much distance and it was killing her.
How in the hell had she not noticed this before?
"Stefan –
"Let me just get this out," he begged and although she knew that something would make her officially break down, she nodded anyway. "When I finally had you back, I'd never felt so grateful until that moment. Because after everything I put you through – after how much I hurt you – you still loved me and chose me. But I know now that you didn't choose me. You chose the safe choice." Elena shook her head quickly, disgust at his words rising up inside of her.
"No, I didn't. I chose you because I loved you –
"You chose me because I was safe and you were terrified of your feelings for Damon," he corrected and added, "And I needed to be your only choice, Elena." Elena shook her head, crossing the room to stand closer to Stefan.
"I chose you because you were the one I wanted and I loved you, Stefan," she exclaimed and gathered his face in her hands, heart hurting at the tears that had appeared in Stefan's eyes. She hated it when he cried. It broke something inside of her and as much as she was pained now whenever Damon wasn't happy, Stefan's hurt face hurt so much more. "I still do."
"Then what's the difference, Elena?" Stefan cried, ripping himself from Elena's hands and standing, keeping a fair distance between the two of them. Because they were so close and all he wanted to do was kiss her again, feel her against him and remember that she was his. But then reality would set in and then he'd have to come to terms that this was their reality now.
And she wasn't his anymore.
"If you love him and you still love me, what's the difference now? Are you just hoping to hop from one brother to the other until you get bored with the both of us?" Elena gasped in shock, hurt all over her face.
"I am not Katherine!" She screamed.
"And that makes it worse, Elena!" Stefan shouted back. "Because I know that you aren't Katherine. You are nowhere near the selfishness and maliciousness that she was – still is. But, damnit Elena, you're close and I never thought I'd say that."
"I never wanted this. I wanted you," Elena swore.
"And somewhere down the line, I stopped being enough for you." Elena shook her head, bitterness leaving a bad taste in her mouth.
"No, I stopped being enough for you!" Those words hung in the air for a moment, Stefan soaking it in. And he couldn't believe what he just heard. "After I turned into a vampire, your only real goal was to control me until you could get me a cure. You didn't even try to accept me as a vampire." The accusation stung and Stefan nodded, emotion tearing through his entire being.
"Right. I didn't accept you," he said calmly and Elena watched with bated breath as he started pacing. A pacing Stefan was never a good thing. Without warning, Stefan grabbed the nearest desk and hurled it across the room and it smashed into pieces, effectively shocking Elena into a stupor and leaving her silent as Stefan approached her. "I didn't accept you, Elena!? That's what you're trying to pull right now?"
"Because you pushed Jeremy into becoming a hunter because you wanted me to be human," she reminded him and although that was right, Stefan glared at her.
"Because you wanted to be human," he shot back and Elena flinched. "I remember a time when you kept telling me that you didn't want to become a vampire, that this wasn't the life you wanted. You wanted to have a choice and that was taken from you and all I wanted was for you to get that choice back because I was the reason you lost that choice." Elena swallowed back a sob, trying to wipe away some tears.
"Stefan, you know that I never blamed you for what happened on that bridge," she said and Stefan shook his head.
"But that doesn't mean that I ever stopped blaming myself!" Stefan kicked the nearest chair and it skidded across the floor before falling over as he cried, "Fuck!" Elena buried her face in her hands for a moment before staring at Stefan.
This was where they were at now. And Elena didn't know what to do with that. On one hand, she could still be with Damon or try to be with Damon. Because after his little "letting her go" thing last week, she wasn't exactly sure where they were. But then there was Stefan and Elena honestly didn't know what to do.
"What happens now?" Stefan sighed, exhausted suddenly.
"I learn to move on and let you go," he said and a panic filled Elena as more tears sprung to her eyes. "Because I told you, Elena. I can't do this anymore with you. I let you go once. It hurt like hell, but I can do it again." Elena sobbed.
"Stefan –
"But, before I do, I need one last thing from you," he told her and was in front of Elena in milliseconds, cupping her face in his hands gently and Elena felt the panic rise again at what she knew Stefan was going to do and she was afraid. Because she knew one kiss from Stefan would have her even more lost than she was before. Stefan chuckled as he stared into her eyes, "And maybe it's my little payback to Damon."
"Stefan," Elena begged. "Please don't –
Stefan shut her up with one kiss, his lips sliding over hers slowly and gently. Elena's eyes were shut tightly and as Stefan kissed her, Elena melted against him, molding her body against his. She surrendered without hesitation, hands gripping his hips and mouth opening submissively to him when his tongue slid across her lower lip. And it broke something inside of her because being this close to Stefan – being able to feel him like this again – hurt.
Because he wasn't hers anymore.
And that was her fault.
Stefan's hands were in her hair and he was pulling her as close as their bodies would allow, as if they could somehow come together and defy all laws of matter. And Elena responded in equal ardor, combining hand and tongue and lips to taste and feel and memorize because she knew that this was the last time. All too soon, Stefan's lips left hers and Elena followed his backward movement until their lips were only centimeters apart, both breathing in the other because they would never be able to be this close again.
And Elena didn't want this moment to end. Because while Damon's kisses left her feeling breathless and slightly woozy, there was something about Stefan's that made Damon's kisses now feel...bland. Because there was a sense of belonging and need that stretched between them that left her bereft once they were apart, a feeling that furthered as Stefan slowly released her and started walking towards the door.
"Stefan, wait!" Elena cried and he stopped, so close to getting away from her, which was what he needed because after that kiss, all Stefan wanted to do was grab hold of her and never let her go. Hell, he was even considering making love to her on floor, not even caring that their friends were a few rooms down and that one of those friends happened to be a vampire that could hear everything.
"What, Elena?" Stefan asked, pleading with her to let him go. Because he needed her to and he honestly didn't want to stare at her any longer. One more look and he'd be putty in her hands, a loyal fucking puppy that would follow her to the ends of the earth. A small smile appeared on Elena's face as she stared at Stefan's back, remembering how she admired his profile that first day they had met.
"When we first got together, I told you what I should write in my diary because they'd be things that I should've been telling you," she said and Stefan turned around, a small reminiscent smile on his face. "You told me what you would write and we shared our first kiss." Stefan nodded.
"I know," he replied. Elena wrung her hands together, walking up to him, a determined look on her face.
"Afterwards, we got together and sometimes, we'd read each other our entries. And we'd tell each other everything." Elena laughed slightly at the memories and Stefan chuckled even. "It was so corny and we'd make fun of each other for the stupidest things we'd write."
"Like that time you said green was becoming one of your favorite colors because it reminded you of my eyes," he reminded her and Elena laughed and Stefan missed her laughs. She didn't look like this with him often, this relaxed and happy.
"Or when you'd say that my smile rivaled with the sun because no matter what, it always seemed to brighten up your day. Even during the hardest times. Those entries were like verses to our own little love song." Stefan nodded and watched Elena tuck some hair behind her ear, hand itching to be the one to do it. But that wasn't his place anymore. It was Damon's and it was time he started accepting that. "Do you wanna know what I'd write in my diary now?"
Stefan stared at Elena for a long time, making her all nervous and terrified that he'd walk away and simply tell her to leave it. But he released that defeated sigh of his head and nodded slowly, the sadness returning on his face.
Because this was her last love song to him.
"Yes." Elena smiled softly before nodding, emotion clogging her throat as a fresh wave of tears hit her hard.
"Dear Diary, today was probably one of the worst days of my entire life," she began shakily and had to breathe for a second. "I wanted my cake and I wanted to eat it too, but the problem was I forgot all about my ice cream." The tears were flowing now and Elena didn't think she could continue, but she soldiered through, "And that's a shame because it was my favorite kind and I loved it so much and I let it melt." Elena gathered Stefan's face in her hands for the last time tonight, thumb catching a tear as it fell from his eye. "But that doesn't meant that this is the end, that it's over. Because no matter what happens, I could never stop loving him. And two people who are meant to be will always find their way in the end."
They stood there for a moment, both silently crying. And Elena was pouring all of her emotion into Stefan as she held him, crying uncontrollably. But then Stefan pulled away from her and Elena expected him to share his entry, for them to have this moment and for no one to ruin it because this was them and they meant everything to her.
But she didn't expect this.
"We should go," Stefan said, voice hard and emotionless. "The others are waiting for us." And all Elena could do was let him go, unable to say or do anything to keep Stefan with her anymore.
OOOOOOO
After everything went down tonight, all Elena wanted to do was curl up in her bed and sleep for an eternity. Rebekah was back and pretty much being a bitch to everyone, Klaus was "supporting" them with the Jeremy issue, and Elena just wanted to crawl into a corner and hide because she knew that when she had gotten back to her friends, her eyes were all red and puffy and she looked like she went through hell and lost her best friend at the same time.
Which she kinda did if she wanted to be completely honest.
Damon had driven her home, rubbing her knee affectionately. And it had comforted her to an extent and she gave him a small smile as he opened her door for her, holding her hand as he led her onto the front porch. And he had even left her with a small kiss on the cheek. But as his lips touched her skin, she recalled Stefan's searing kiss earlier in the night and gasped, pulling away from Damon. She had brushed his concerned stare off with an apology about being exhausted and hurried into the house before he could question her any further.
After soaking in her own bathtub for about an hour and letting her skin prune up, Elena climbed out of the now semi-cool water and dried her body with the thick towel. Walking to the sink, Elena wiped the fog off of the glass mirror and stared at her reflection. She still looked somewhat pale and her eyes still were puffy. Damon had noticed, but that was another thing Elena brushed off. Shaking her head, Elena finished drying off and yanked on some pajamas, tying her hair back into a high ponytail.
As soon as Elena reached her bedroom, she saw the piece of paper on her bed. Curiously, Elena slid onto the bed and picked it up before her eyes widened. She recognized that handwriting immediately. It was from Stefan.
Dear Diary,
Today is the first day that I can actually say that I can move on. Before, I told you that I met a girl and she was so beautiful. We talked and it was epic and from then on, I never loved anyone else as much. But time went on and the dust has finally settled and I have to come to terms with reality. And this is reality. No matter how much that hurts, I have to accept it because if I don't, I'll lose her even more than I already have. A wise person once said that two people who are meant to be will find their way in the end. But I'm not sure if they'll find their way back to each other in the end. Only time will tell.
Yours forever,
Stefan
And Elena was left sobbing and crying, a sad but broken smile on her face.
Because this was his last love song to her.
No more white picket fences,
No more lace veils or vows,
No more "You're the only one" 'cause that's all done with now