DISCLAIMER- I don't own any of the characters in this story. I do own the sound effects however.
(A/N- I've never been to fond of angst, especially since I STINK at writing it. Seriously. I do. Anyway, this is just making fun of angst, so don't expect it to actually be good. If you like angst, don't be offended. Please.)
Pansy Parkinson walked primly into the Slytherin Girls' dormitory and shut the door. "Anyone here?" she asked steadily, trying to keep her voice calm, trying to stop the emotion that was surging from her like a volcano, ready to EXPLODE!
Nobody answered. Pansy quickly scanned the room and made certain nobody was within hearing range. Then her smooth, flawless smile collapsed and her nose went from being in the air to being buried in her pillow.
Her life was ruined! "It's the end!" she cried to the world, though fortunately nobody could hear her. "There's nothing to live for!" Her sobs were loud and long and shrill. She felt her body shake uncontrollably and her waterproof mascara began to run, dying her pillow dark purple.
She didn't care. Why should she? Ever since that freaky Hermione Granger got her teeth straightened, everything had gone downhill. She remembered the look in all the boys' eyes when Hermione came waltzing into the Yule Ball with that hideous dress. Then her mother had died in a horrible car crash and her father had committed suicide because he was so unhappy! Even her hamster had perished!
Screaming in frustration, she threw her pig stuffed animal at the wall. Then Draco had run away from her! He'd ditched her for Luna Lovegood. And Harry, perfect, flawless, Harry Potter was going out with Cho, Hermione, Ginny and Hannah Abbot simultaneously! "Can't they see?" she cried to the empty room. "It's so obvious! He was meant for me!"
She would have survived, maybe, if Neville had asked her out. She'd been sending him love notes since first year, but he never knew it was her. He was so sweet, kind, and TOTALLY HOT!! But now he was going out with Cho Chang! "Nobody loves me." Pansy wailed. "Even my best friend, Parvati Partil, ditched me! She said she didn't like me because I was too... what did she say? Too blonde! Can you believe it?"
And then...it happened. Just ten minutes ago after she'd stormed away from Patti. She'd tripped over a book left on the floor and when she got up, she looked in the mirror to see if her make-up was smudged. Then she noticed it. Her eyes traveled down her arm to her finger tips. There was the chipped nail, so obvious and disgusting. The sparkle blue nail polish couldn't cover up the huge, half-centimeter tear. Her perfect nail was gone.
(ominous sound effects)
Pansy wailed and slowly drew her wand from her pocket. "This is it." She said, as she gazed at the piece of wood, which seemed to glow, as if there was a large light from above shining on it. She heard mournful violin music in the background. "There's no way to go on. I can't face anyone. I'm just....not strong enough. Good thing Professor Moody taught us the killer curse. I guess it's time to use it."
She looked in the mirror and saw her dripping mascara, runny nose and messed up hair. She remembered her first time coming to Hogwarts. She was so happy and carefree. "Not anymore." she whispered. "They'll see what they did to me. I bet Neville will cry over my grave. I'll make them guilty until they die!" she pointed the wand at herself and cried dramatically "Adavara Kadavara!"
Nothing happened.
"What?!" she cried. "I'm not even a good enough witch to commit suicide?!"
Suddenly, the author came running onstage. "This is ridiculous. I should never have tried to do an angst fic. This is definitely not going to bring tears to anyone eyes unless they're tears of laughter! Just forget it!"
"But I was good!" Pansy argued.
"I'm just going to stick to parodies." The author ignored her. "They're so much easier!
REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!!! I'll take constructive critiscim, but please don't flame just because you feel like taking out your anger on me, please?
(A/N- I've never been to fond of angst, especially since I STINK at writing it. Seriously. I do. Anyway, this is just making fun of angst, so don't expect it to actually be good. If you like angst, don't be offended. Please.)
Pansy Parkinson walked primly into the Slytherin Girls' dormitory and shut the door. "Anyone here?" she asked steadily, trying to keep her voice calm, trying to stop the emotion that was surging from her like a volcano, ready to EXPLODE!
Nobody answered. Pansy quickly scanned the room and made certain nobody was within hearing range. Then her smooth, flawless smile collapsed and her nose went from being in the air to being buried in her pillow.
Her life was ruined! "It's the end!" she cried to the world, though fortunately nobody could hear her. "There's nothing to live for!" Her sobs were loud and long and shrill. She felt her body shake uncontrollably and her waterproof mascara began to run, dying her pillow dark purple.
She didn't care. Why should she? Ever since that freaky Hermione Granger got her teeth straightened, everything had gone downhill. She remembered the look in all the boys' eyes when Hermione came waltzing into the Yule Ball with that hideous dress. Then her mother had died in a horrible car crash and her father had committed suicide because he was so unhappy! Even her hamster had perished!
Screaming in frustration, she threw her pig stuffed animal at the wall. Then Draco had run away from her! He'd ditched her for Luna Lovegood. And Harry, perfect, flawless, Harry Potter was going out with Cho, Hermione, Ginny and Hannah Abbot simultaneously! "Can't they see?" she cried to the empty room. "It's so obvious! He was meant for me!"
She would have survived, maybe, if Neville had asked her out. She'd been sending him love notes since first year, but he never knew it was her. He was so sweet, kind, and TOTALLY HOT!! But now he was going out with Cho Chang! "Nobody loves me." Pansy wailed. "Even my best friend, Parvati Partil, ditched me! She said she didn't like me because I was too... what did she say? Too blonde! Can you believe it?"
And then...it happened. Just ten minutes ago after she'd stormed away from Patti. She'd tripped over a book left on the floor and when she got up, she looked in the mirror to see if her make-up was smudged. Then she noticed it. Her eyes traveled down her arm to her finger tips. There was the chipped nail, so obvious and disgusting. The sparkle blue nail polish couldn't cover up the huge, half-centimeter tear. Her perfect nail was gone.
(ominous sound effects)
Pansy wailed and slowly drew her wand from her pocket. "This is it." She said, as she gazed at the piece of wood, which seemed to glow, as if there was a large light from above shining on it. She heard mournful violin music in the background. "There's no way to go on. I can't face anyone. I'm just....not strong enough. Good thing Professor Moody taught us the killer curse. I guess it's time to use it."
She looked in the mirror and saw her dripping mascara, runny nose and messed up hair. She remembered her first time coming to Hogwarts. She was so happy and carefree. "Not anymore." she whispered. "They'll see what they did to me. I bet Neville will cry over my grave. I'll make them guilty until they die!" she pointed the wand at herself and cried dramatically "Adavara Kadavara!"
Nothing happened.
"What?!" she cried. "I'm not even a good enough witch to commit suicide?!"
Suddenly, the author came running onstage. "This is ridiculous. I should never have tried to do an angst fic. This is definitely not going to bring tears to anyone eyes unless they're tears of laughter! Just forget it!"
"But I was good!" Pansy argued.
"I'm just going to stick to parodies." The author ignored her. "They're so much easier!
REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!!! I'll take constructive critiscim, but please don't flame just because you feel like taking out your anger on me, please?