Title: Tonight and the Rest of My Life
Rating: PG
Author: Redhood79
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, the all mighty Joss Whedon does. Lyrics belong to Nina Gordon.
Feedback: If you read it, at least tell me if you thought it sucked!
Author's Note: Decided I just had to write about the season final! I know this song doesn't really go along with it to much but I like and it sounds sad! Anyway, this is Buffy's POV, hence she is a ghost or spirit or whatever.
Summery: Takes place after the Season 5 final/series final on WB. Buffy's POV.
Down to the earth I fell
With dripping wings,
Heavy things won't fly
And the sky might catch on fire
And burn the axis of the world
That's why
I prefer a sunless sky
I Feel so light
This is all I wanna feel tonight
Feel so light
Tonight and the rest of my life
Gleaming in the darksea
I'm as light as air
Floating there breathlessly
When the dream dissolves I open up my eyes
I realize that
Everything is shoreless sea
Weightlessness is passing over me
I Feel so light
This is all I wanna feel tonight
Feel so light
Tonight and the rest of my life
Everthing is waves and stars
The universe is resting in my arms
I feel so alive
This is all I wanna feel tonight
I feel so light
Tonight and the rest of my life
It's over. All of it.
And in a way, I'm relieved. For almost six years.... It's over now, it's better. I wanted Mom back because I was being selfish. If she still had the tumor it was better that she died, her pain ended, she's free. There's no burden anymore, I don't have to worry, I can't...I can't imagining worrying, even about Dawn, what's going to happen to them now that I'm gone?
I can't worry about it. It's not my job to protect them anymore. I can help, just a little, He'll do the rest.
But even now, I can feel that ball deep in my stomach... How can I still feel?
I am worrying, a little. It's them, their pain, it's hurting me. Giles took to the bottle and hasn't come out of the house. Dawn's locked herself in my room, going through my things. Trying to keep the smell of me on the bedspread fresh. It's fading, she's fading. Xander went to the ruins of the high school, just sat in the old library. Anya rearranged the whole store, and afterwards started to put it back the way it was.
Willow and Tara went to L.A.. God, I didn't want to see Angel cry! I could see them, fell everyone I loved.
Spike was the one who took my body. He was crying. He was the last one I sought out, but I couldn't not see him, he protected Dawn so many times. After they buried me, they all stayed for awhile, he stayed the longest, long after Dawn fell asleep and Giles took her home. He just sat there, staring at my grave for three hours. Then he finally spoke, "I'm sorry, pet. I should've protected her." He blamed himself. In that moment I actually returned his love. "Spike, it's not your fault! It's no ones fault...." I wanted to tell him. "It's my fault!" He couldn't hear me, none of them could. They couldn't know it was okay, how could they? He stayed until sunrise. I watched him, he lit a cigarette, took only three drags before he put it out in a tree trunk. He stood in front of my grave and looked out towards the horizon. It was the first sunset he had seen in over a hundred years. All that was left of him was his leather duster, Dawn found it a few minutes later.
I can't stay, haunting them, it's too much, their pain. If only they knew how it felt on the otherside. It's over, they can't do anything, it's not anyone's fault. I'm the Chosen One. It's my destiny. My gift is death, so that they can live.
Fin