The song for this one-shot is Nilu - Are You With Me

ALEXIS POV:

My eyes opened to reveal that I was still living in Hell. Well, maybe not like the seventh circle of Hell. More like the second or third. There were definitely things that made me feel less like an inept destitute with every day that passed.

I looked over at the empty bed that David hardly resided in anymore with his sleepovers at Patrick's. Was it too much to ask for my eldest and probably only brother to be my emotional support? He was off living his best life and I have to say he deserved it. He'd always been the better one between the two of us.

Starting college wasn't what I thought it'd be but I was giving it the best I had even if the whole operation was a grotesque sham of an educational institute. My choices were limited here. Either tough it through or fade into the back like the rest of the townies that had no qualms with their desolate, dull lives. They didn't know any better.

There was one that did.

Ted.

My stomach got all fuzzy at the thought of him in his powder blue scrubs. I desperately missed working alongside him at the Vet but it was my time to flourish. I'd be remiss if I didn't disclose that his relationship with Heather wasn't a deciding factor for my retirement for all things cute and cuddly. When I first met Ted I never would've imagined that I'd come to respect him enough to not interfere in his romantic entanglements if I wanted him. I couldn't do with him what I'd done with Mutt. He was different.

So trying to stay my distance to let him be happy with whomever he wanted wasn't the easiest path for me but it was one that I could respect. Which was something I hadn't been doing for most of my life. It seemed the longer we stayed in this podunk hayseed town the more we learned about ourselves, the more we grew capable of, and the more we cut through the luxurious haze of bullshit of everyday things to see what it was we really wanted. We could focus on the important things close to us. Unfortunately for me, I wasn't a focus for my mom.

A knock came from the connecting door of our rooms. "Alexis," My mom called in her drawn-out theatrical way of hers.

"Come in," Excitement filled me for the business group I was co-hosting with a co-ed tonight. I sat up at her arrival. She had agreed to come in support because my dad had to run the front desk while Stevie took care of some out of town family business.

Mom had her robe closed as she walked into the room. "David spent another night at Patrick's. Good for him." Her tone suggested that it would be good for me to do the same but it wasn't as easy as that. I swear it was like she had no interest in our lives. Or maybe it was just my life.

"Did you need something?" I tucked some hair behind my ear.

She started to sit at the end of the bed but thought better of it. "I hate to be a flake tonight but I am unable to make your social network gathering. There's in impromptu council bash at Ronnie's house that I must show my face at." Even though the thought at one time sounded like a prison punishment she acted as if that were still the case, but I knew she cared about the people in this town. Enough to brush aside her only daughter, probably.

"Oh, you're not upset are you?" Her unmotherly blue eyes gawked down at me.

Not only wasn't she willing to support me in this actually fairly big event I helped put together but she downplayed it like it was a mixer, which was exactly what she was going to, she was putting blame on me if I were upset about it.

A phony expression crossed my face. I shook my head. "No, I was actually about to tell you that you didn't need to be there." I scratched at my head. "Because it...I heard about the party last night." My body slid down back under the covers until they were up to my neck. My insides churned at the wave of disappointment in my parental system. Not so much my dad because we were as close as we'd ever get. My mom and I had always had a strained relationship. Mostly because she wasn't ever there, I assumed it meant she didn't care. She was almost always caught up in the showbiz or with her philanthropic friends or whatever. It had never been me. For even a night I couldn't have my mother's undivided attention and encouragement. Silly me.

"Oh, good." She patted my leg briefly. "We're off to the cafe for breakfast in a few. Are you going to join us?"

My head shook. "I'm still a bit tired." I turned on my side to signal that she should leave.

"I can always count on you to understand, Alexis." She said cheerfully before she closed the door behind her.

A stinging in my eyes was warranted but I didn't want to deal with that mess of unfinished mommy issues on top of everything else I was going through. Instead, I pulled the covers over my head until they were gone. When sleep wouldn't come I couldn't be left alone in this empty motel all by myself with my thoughts. The only thing besides my schooling that seemed to work for me the past month or so was running.

I laced up and put on my cutest gear for a boost of confidence. With my earbuds in, I dashed down my usual path. It was only when I got between the trees that I truly felt at peace. And they also offered a beautiful shade from the summer heat.

Who needed people when you had yourself?

Who was I kidding? My life was as turned around as it had ever been. I couldn't manage a stable relationship with my mother. I couldn't pry my brother away from his beau long enough to spend any quality time with me. I couldn't get the guy. Was I destined to live forever and alone at Rosebud Motel? Even Stevie would have settled down by then.

Part of me wanted to simply run. I could take the car, I had some money saved. Even if I could make it to New York or California I couldn't think of one person that would offer to help get me off my feet. Not one.

Why had we'd grown up like this? Artificial and uncaring. This dinky little town was my blessing and curse. Had we not ended up here I wouldn't have found my interest in Business. Or a friend like Twyla that actually cared without expecting something in return. I could without a doubt attest that finding a guy like Ted was a one in a million chance. I wouldn't have known what it was to have someone fully support you in even your most delusional of dreams. Or to give you a chance when you had absolutely zero experience in anything. Or not being a complete asshole when he so had the right to be after I stood him up for the second time. I couldn't believe he would give me a job after what I'd done to him. Why would he be my friend?

I wanted to be stronger than the things going on around me but my emotions churned in my chest. Times like these I wished I had the kind of mother that I could go to and talk with. My mind was confronted of the countless times Moira Rose had let me down not only as a mother but as a human. I just wanted her to be there and she didn't care.

My eyes stung with fresh tears while I ran my problems away. Only this time it wasn't working. The extra speed caused me to trip and fall to my hands and knees. The cushion of grass and dirt make my superficial wounds hurt less but I was still in pain.

The ground felt heavy underneath my hands while I took stock of my life. Tears fell onto my skin and then I couldn't shut the floodgates, everything poured out. I pulled myself onto a closeby log to sit and gather myself but it was impossible. I cried for the lost little girl that had to grow up too fast and learn to keep her mouth shut when one of daddy's work friends got a little handsy. I cried for the void of love relationship my mother and I had and always will have. I cried for my second chance at life that was a lot harder than it looked on TV. I cried for the third chance I'd never get with the only man I had an authentic and profound connection with.

Even if I could find the cowardice to run I didn't want to. I would miss this place too much. That was when I realized it wasn't the place that made the experience, it was the people.

"Alexis?"

I looked up at the voice I wanted least to see me like this. "Oh hey, Ted." My hands wiped at my face as I put on a cheery disposition. "I was just taking a break to, uh, practice my breathing technique." I stretched my arms. I wanted to stand but I felt deflated.

He wore his running gear and if I hadn't been totally a wreck I might've ogled him, he held his earbuds in his hands. His crystal blue eyes cut through my bullshit like they had ever since he got back from what was supposed to be our honeymoon. He slowly inched my way, he sat beside me on the log. "What happened?"

My composure crumbled like the cheap makeup I've been forced to apply. "I'm okay,"

His eyes caught mine and they looked so sad to see me like this. Words were on the tip of his tongue but ins,tead he said, "You're hurt. Do you want to come back to the clinic?"

I glanced down at my hands to assess the minor stinging in my hands and the ripped fabric at my knee. A huff left me, I stood to my feet. "These were my favorite jogging pants." I brushed my annoyance aside when Ted stood beside me with soft concern in his eyes. "I'll just head home, it's only a scratch."

"Alexis," His voice indicated he definitely didn't believe me. "You're coming to the clinic."

I couldn't help but be impressed with the dominance in his decision. Had it been an outlandish request I would've been insulted but the caring was entwined in his voice. In his look.

"Okay then,"

We headed back to the highway. This awkward tension fizzled between us and I had no idea on how to dissipate it. Should I ask him about Heather or not? I didn't want to give the impression I wasn't happy for him because I so was.

He cleared his throat. "So how's business school going?"

I held my hands together as we strolled. "Awesome," I put on a smile. "Jeff and I have this event tonight." My voice tapered off.

"Jeff?"

We kept our gazes forward.

Guilt poked at my conscience for thinking of potentially making him jealous, but it was right there for me to test. If it got testy then didn't that mean there was still something there? But when it came down to it, I couldn't bring myself to hurt him in even the tiniest way.

"Yeah, he's a really good partner. It's been a little bit easier with him than I expected." And it had. If I didn't have our project as a distraction then I don't know what I would've done. I chanced a look at Ted.

He met my eyes. He offered a kind half smile. "That's nice."

I looked away. "What about you?"

"I've been pretty good. The puppy bowl went well last week."

I sighed. "Oh my God, I was supposed to come to that." My hand went to my forehead. "I'm sorry, Ted. My mind's been everywhere lately."

He waved it off. "It wasn't a big deal.,"

No it was. He planned it for a few weeks.

I turned to look at him. "It was to you. I should've been there."

He stared at me carefully before the smallest of smiles passed his face.

My stomach felt fluttery and my skin tingled in jitters from his presence. Why couldn't I have had that when we were initially together? Why did I have to walk all over him?

Once we got back to the road I did something not so crazy. I started to run.

He came after me.

My eyes slid to his in silent communication. Thankfully he was on the same page. Had we not been I imagined our next encounter to be a bit uncomfortable.

Being in sync with someone for maybe the first time ever felt oddly freeing. We were only two people moving forward with the same goal in mind. I had a jogging group before we lost all our money and I hadn't ever experienced the serenity that washed over me with them. It was hard to believe minutes ago I was in so much pain. That pain wouldn't ever totally heal but it felt more manageable around Ted.

I would smile at him.

He would smile at me.

And it was the most fun I had in a long, long time. My heart ached already for how much I would miss him when our moment was over.

We eventually came to a stop outside the clinic, we took a few moments to catch our breaths.

I watched him as he unlocked the door, how his athletic shirt clung to his muscular back. How sweat dotted the back of his neck. How the rise and fall of shoulders made butt giggle a little. I grinned to myself.

He turned back to me, his eyes now heavier than they were before. "You know where to go."

My face flushed all of a sudden. Personally, I wasn't a blusher. No guy had ever made me nervous enough to warrant physical distress. I walked past him, my whole body felt on edge. I made my way to his office.

He gestured for me to get on top of the table. He brought over the sterile equipment, which was basically alcohol wipes and ointment, and a few bandaids. "I don't know if i can fix this."

A little smile came to my face. "Is it terminal Doc?"

He grinned. "I might need a second opinion." He cleaned the minor scrapes on my hands. "So what were you thinking about?" When I didn't answer he went on, "To get that distracted to fall. I've seen you run and you're pretty focused."

Had he seen me run? Pretty much everyone had when it was a town as small as this.

"Well," I weighed my options. Tell him the truth or give him a lie. Which would Ted believe?

His eyes were smearing the ointment evenly on my hands. "I know we haven't been as close lately. Maybe that's my fault but I want to be there for you still as a friend."

Friend.

Was that all I was ever going to get from him again?

I don't know that we can ever be friends, not the way he wanted to be.

My eyes studied our hands. I wondered what he'd do if I slid one up his face and pulled him into a kiss?

He looked up at me with a question in his eyes. "You can tell me anything, Alexis." His jaw held a vulnerable masculine stiffness.

My head shook. "I know." I had to look away from him. The next bit fell out of my mouth. "Going back to school wasn't easy for me, but I pushed through. Accepting that my mother and I would never have this supportive, brunch on Sundays, FaceTime kind of relationship was hard, but I got through that. Losing time with David so he could work on his business and be with Patrick wasn't a fun look for me but he's happy so I'm happy for him." I drew my eyes to his. "Everyone I know has someone there for them when they need it and it's been eye openingly lonely for me. I don't feel like I'm moving forward. You know that feeling when you're in a pool or in snow and you try to go as fast as you can but you know that your best isn't getting you anywhere?"

He gave a single nod.

"That's it for me." I gave a wry grin as I looked at his hands on mine. "And I miss you." I blew out a heavy breath, my mouth twisted in sadness. My eyes misted over.

"Alexis, I'm right here. You know you can call me whenever you need. I'm here for you"

I shook my head when I looked up at him. "Not in the way that I want you to be, Ted."

He stilled, his eyes swept over my face in speculation.

Some place in my chest felt lighter with the omission I held in for long enough, so I decided to keep going. "I know that you're with Heather and you've got a puppy and this adorable little farm life together. You're basically perfect together. I know that I'm a mess and nothing about me or my life is together." I thought I was going to throw up a bit. "But I love you, Ted. I'm in love with you." My insides tumbled and turned with emotions I hadn't ever been privy to.

His hands slipped from mine. He took a few paces back in deep thought, then his eyes turned to mine again.

"I'm sorry for everything that I did to you. I was an idiot." I jumped off the table on shaky legs. "You're the sweetest man I've ever known." I blinked away the fresh wave of tears. "You deserve someone better than me, Ted Mullens." My already breaking heart fully separated and I couldn't be here a moment longer.

The door shut behind me like a chapter closed in my story. My hand covered my mouth the muffle the cry I wanted to let go.

A long, hot shower I bundled up in my bed to sleep the heartache away and luckily for me it came easy. After I woke, I felt equal parts drained and refreshed. I checked my phone for potential texts from Ted there was nothing. Who had I been kidding? He wasn't going to reach out. Not anytime soon. I didn't blame him for needing time.

I got ready for my event on autopilot. Getting my confession off of my chest proved just as mentally taxing as before it was out in the open. Somehow I made it to the Cafe in one piece.

Jeff and I stood side by side to look out at the success of our networking event. A decent amount of people showed up, they conversed amongst themselves in efforts to make business connections. The inane chatter brought me back to a time where the playing field would be a philanthropic event filled with socialites and CEO's, business people of the like trying to get a leg up by any means necessary. How I had mocked those people, laughed at the desperation at wealth and achievement. My life had to crash down around me in order to get me to where I was. And even though everything wasn't perfect, I was pretty proud of that.

He leaned over to tell me to get ready for my presentation.

Hours and hours of practicing for the oral presentation was stress inducing to say the least but in the moment I couldn't muster up the racing heart or stomach flutters of panic that should've been present.

I pepped talked myself up nonetheless while Jeff set me up.

The door chimed open.

I had this.

"Alexis Rose everybody." Jeff applauded.

I took my position with the clicker in my hand. My eyes swept over the crowd for a final look for my mother but my heart caught at the sight of someone else instead.

Ted.

He wore a classy white shirt and black dress pants. What was he doing here?

Everyone's eyes felt heavy on me all of a sudden. I forgot what I was supposed to say.

"Alexis, I'm hi." I fumbled over my words. My face grew warm. Some brain cells fired for me so I could get on with the presentation but my voice shook audibly and I wasn't very concise. Regrettably, my eyes landed on Ted.

He stood behind everyone with his arms folded across his broad chest. He motioned for me to breathe. He had this encouraging glint in his eyes that made me not feel like a fool for doing this.

So I took in a breath and blew out the doubts. And it worked. Everything seemed to fall into place after. I spoke fluently, without hesitation. My eyes worked the room. I gave it my Alexis Rose best. By the end, the room was filled with applause and a sea of astonished people. However, I could only see the one that really mattered.

He wore an impressed half smile, then he nodded toward the door.

I followed.

We sat on the steps of the Cafe. We faced forward.

My body felt lit aflame next to his. "Why are you here, Ted?"

"Why do you think?" His breath sounded as wispy as mine.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "To support me."

A small sigh left him. He turned his head to look at me, like really look at me.

I'd been nervous around him before but it hadn't ever felt like I was sitting on pins and needles.

"I want to ask you if you were serious about everything you said, if you meant it, but I can see it all over you that you were." He barely said above a whisper. His eyes darted all over my face. "Where does that leave us?"

My eyes widened. "Wait, you're not with Heather?"

He shook his head. "Things slowed down between us considerably for a while now. I ended it this afternoon."

I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest. Was this actually going to work out for me?

"Why did they slow down?" Call me ego driven I just had to know.

He let out a small incredulous laugh. "Why do you think?" He gazed at me.

I gestured to my chest. "Because of me?"

"It's always been you, Alexis. Even when I didn't want it to be, even when I tried to make it work with Heather. You wouldn't leave my head."

The smile on my face couldn't be helped. I wanted to tame it but it was out of my hands. That could've summed up my feelings for Ted altogether.

My eyes dipped to his sexy little mouth that had been calling me ever since he rolled back into town on that motorcycle. I stared into his blue eyes before I leaned over to kiss him for the first time since that office mishap.

He broke it off with eyes that stayed closed for a moment longer. "Before anything happens, I need to know something."

I nodded for him to continue.

"Was it only when I wasn't available that you started to feel something for me?"

I wanted to feel offended by that question but he was within reason to ask.

"No," I admitted. "The moment you got back I could tell something was different about you. Maybe at first, it was the hot Doctor thing you had going on but as time passed I realized what I was feeling for you ran deeper than that." My hand went to his stubble jaw, I ran my thumb over his cheek. "I know how much I hurt you, Ted. I held back because I didn't want to do it again." My eyes gazed intently into his. "You have no idea how much you mean to me. How grateful I am to have you in my life. I wouldn't be where I am now without you. Even when you didn't know it, your support got me through some rough times." I felt it in my bones that I had to be the one to ask. "Are you with me, Ted Mullens? If you have any doubt in your mind that you don't want this then don't feel obligated to-"

His lips cut my words off. There was pent up energy behind this embrace, caring and certainty. He took the lead on this one and I couldn't stop myself from melting into him. This had been the kiss between us to end all kisses.

This time neither of us pulled away.

A/N: IT'S SHOCKING HOW LITTLE CONTENT THERE IS FOR THESE TWO. I HOPE PEOPLE WILL READ THIS AND OTHERS WILL START MAKING CONTENT. I'M THINKING OF MAKING AESTHETIC BOARDS FOR THEM ON MY INSTAGRAMS (zaven_murven, chonidalefalice)