A/N: Italics are Flashbacks. This is told in Alanna's POV!
It had been only a few weeks before, when I was speaking with Aly about her triplets, my grandchildren. Aly and her husband had come to Tortall for a visit and all had been well: Chasing the triplets, dinners, small get-togethers and such. Nothing seemed to change in the course of two weeks.
The relationship between Aly and I improved as well, we didn't disagree over much, although we did have our moments…
"But Aly, the triplets should also stay with their Tortallan relatives. That's where most of their family is." Alanna said surprisingly gently.
"Mother, I want them to have their time here, but also back at the Copper Isles. And I don't want them to feel they have to choose." Aly replied.
"Aly, they won't have to choose."
"Their still young, ma, don't let them…not yet." Aly was trying not to imagine her two girls and boy having to choose between her new home in the Copper Isles and Tortall, they would've felt torn. Motherhood was still a new feeling for the spymistress.
Alanna and Alianne discussed this issue no further then that. Aly explained to Nawat her mother's concern, he only told her that once a chick is old enough it must leave the nest and find a new nest and life-mate of its own…
The triplets were oblivious to the issues of the adults as they played in the kitchens one afternoon…
Ochobai, Ulasu and Junim hid under the table, whispering quietly and pretending they were in enemy territory, Ochobai put a finger to her lips, "Shh, ma's sleeping!" She grabbed her sister's shirt as she was going to crawl out from under the table, "Do you want to be discovered?"
Ulasu shook her head timidly as her sister rolled her eyes, "Remember what ma taught us you two."
Junim sighed, "Let's go find the gold in the secret cave, guarded by bandits!"
"We'll have to be real quiet" Ochobai told them.
Nawat had let his wife sleep, but agreed to play with the triplets while Aly slept. Quietly he crept into the kitchens, looking for the children, "Hmm…" he checked inside a jar which was far too small, making Junim laugh and point, "Da thinks we're hiding in jars!" he giggled. Ochobai clapped a hand over her brother's mouth, "He's the enemy, remember?"
Nawat looked up and looked toward the table, "Maybe they're under this table?" he said smiling as he slowly made his way to the table and lifted the tablecloth and pretended to eat the three underneath. "I'm coming to get you!" he laughed, picking up Junim and Ulasu, Ochobai hanging onto his leg.
A maid with a tray shook her head at this childish folly and continued on with her business.
It had only been a few weeks ago that, upon the rough seas the ship sank, taking mother, father and children with them. George and I still regret we had laid the responsibility of choosing upon them, George even asked the Trickster why he let such a thing happen, but we got no response from the god.
Should we blame ourselves then? Blame life for letting us outlive our daughter? I suppose not. Thom came home to stay, as did Alan on the day of the blessings, for there were no bodies to retrieve.
I still pray to the Goddess each day, though I do not know why.
Perhaps because I hurt inside?
But it is a hurt that will never go away, for a mother's pain of losing a child
Never
Ever
Will fade