I have to thank my good friend Casey for helping me out with this!

Onward with the story!

It was evening in the Sorel household. Raphael was sitting in a room reading as he always did on quiet evenings when suddenly the phone rang. Raphael sat up and looked around confusedly, considering the fact that this is the 16th century and phones weren't even invented yet. Nonetheless, Raphael quickly got up and answered the imaginary phone.

"Sorel Residence. Who's speaking?" he said formally.
"It's me!" answered back a rough voice. Raphael froze. His eyes widened and his heart skipped a beat. He nearly dropped the make-believe phone. He knew exactly who it was. Why, he hadn't heard from this man in months! Though usually he would be excited to hear from this man, he was more annoyed.

"Siggy, I told you not to call me here," he whispered, as if making sure no one could hear him.
"You don't understand! I need you tonight!" Seigfried's rough voice answered from the other end.

"I'm sorry. I can't take care of that,"
"Please!" Seigfried whined desperately. Raphael sighed.

"You know I have to keep this thing between us secret from Amy. If she finds out, she'll freak!"
"Why do you need HER approval! It's always about HER! AMY THIS! AMY THAT! AMY AMY AMY!" Seigfreid yelled in a high, whiny tone before hanging up. Raphael hung up the phone that didn't exist and began scratching his ear. The shrill voice of an emotional Seigfried hurt his ear.

After hearing some commotion, Amy had entered the room. "Daddy, who was that?" she asked, wondering who on earth has shrieking into the phone.

"It was Santa!" Raphael quickly lied. Amy stopped and raised her eyebrow, questioning the sanity of her father. "What?" he asked, noticing her look.

"Dad, I'm 13. Do you expect me to believe that?"

"IT WAS SANTA, DAMMIT! GO TO YOUR ROOM!" Raphael finally screamed, causing Amy to run out of the room

Later that night, Raphael was reading again. Right when he was getting to the good part of the book, he heard a knocking sound, as if someone had broken into the house. He stopped and looked up, sensing something was very wrong. He got up to walk around the house to see if anyone was there. He didn't see any signs of a break in nearby. Perhaps he should check the second floor. Suddenly, he heard another noise, which was specifically coming from upstairs. He began to panic; Amy was up there.

"Amy!" Raphael called, hoping nobody broke into her room. There was no answer. Raphael pulled out Flambert and walked upstairs to check on her.

……

He was upstairs. He walked over to Amy's room first. He quickly opened the door to check and make sure. "Amy?" he asked. She was lying in the middle of the room on her stomach, playing videogames, which also was never invented in the 16th century, so that didn't make sense either. Not only that, she was playing "Soul Calibur 3" (irony?)

"Die, mofo!" she screamed, killing Raphael on the game. Raphael raised his eyebrow questionably. She quickly looked up, giving him her normal, nonchalant stare, and blinked.

"Hi, dad," she simply answered. Raphael was still staring at her stab him over and over. He finally turned to her, pretending not to see it.

"Good night, Amy," he said to her. She blinked and answered back.

"Good night, dad," With that, he closed the door.

He stepped into his room next door. It was dark and large, with a bed fit for a king and curtains around it in the middle of the room. Raphael was beginning to undress when suddenly out of the darkness, someone grabbed him. He quickly reached his arm up to pull the man off, but the man was too strong. He pulled Raphael back and then threw him on the bed. Raphael caught himself and looked up at the silhouette of the man.

"Who are you!" Raphael yelled. The man put his finger on his lips and shushed him.

"It's me…your Siggy…"

(Skipping ahead because I'm NOT writing a sex scene)

The next day, Raphael was a lot more relaxed then usual. He was lying back on his bed, mostly focusing on last night. Amy had obviously noticed this, so she had to figure out what had happened.

"So what did you do with Santa while he was here?" she asked. Raphael turned to her slightly surprised. How did she KNOW!

"What do you mean!" he asked.

"Well…I know that someone visited,"

"Well…it's none of your business," he answered.

"But-"
"Amy, drop it!" he said harshly. "First off, that obviously wasn't Santa Claus! Second, I'm not going to tell you what I did!"

"If it wasn't Santa, then what was he doing in my room?" she asked perplexedly. Raphael shot up in his seat.
"WHAT!" he screamed.

"He said he'd give me presents if I was quiet…" she continued. Raphael's hair was standing on end at this point.
"HE DID WHAT!" he screamed. A vein was popping out of his forehead. 'SEIGFREID! I'm going to kill that bastard!' he thought in his head. Amy was simply continuing with her story.

"Yeah, and I said 'hey Santa, don't you want your milk and cookies? He said, 'I don't want any f--king milk and cookies,' I said, 'But, Santa…you always want cookies and milk,' and he said, 'Hey! I'm Santa Claus! Now sit on my lap,' I found it odd, so I stabbed him and pushed him out my window," she finished. At that point, Raphael completely stopped and stared at her. What a violent little girl, he thought. It was then he stopped and noticed something. Another vein began to pop out of his forehead.
"…So now I have to fix ANOTHER window?" he asked. Amy stopped as if she was thinking about it.

"Yeah, I'm sorry," she answered indifferently. "Back to the question, What did you do with Santa?"
"NOTHING!" he yelled, "And I thought you didn't believe in Santa!"

"I don't. That's why I pushed him out the window," Amy said, as if it made logical sense, even though nothing in this story does.

"Is that why you stab other people, too?" Raphael asked.

"You mean like that time you said the person on the phone was George Washington and I wound up stabbing Ivy? Yeah!"
"Why do you keep doing that?" Raphael asked, seeming annoyed by it.

"Why are they in my room?" Amy retorted. Raphael stopped and thought. Why WERE they in her room?

"I don't know. Lock your door," Raphael said, seeming very worried for her safty.