YOU NEEDED ME
Greg slowly pried his eyes open, that simple act seemed to take all of his strength. He rolled his head to the side and saw Nick, off all people sitting there.
"Nick?" he asked weakly.
"Hey buddy. How you feeling?"
"I'm okay, I guess, considering."
A slight woman, dressed in a white lab coat, who Greg could only assume was a doctor walked in smiling.
"Good to see you awake, Mr. Sanders. I'm Dr. Carter; I'm in charge of your care. Mr. Stokes," she shifted her attention, "I need to ask you to step out so I can examine Mr. Sanders."
"Alright," Nick agreed, looking at Greg, "I'll be right outside and I'll be right back in."
Nick walked out and Dr. Carter started her examination of Greg. Trying to make small talk, she said something that threw Greg off. "You have a very attentive boyfriend Mr. Sanders." All Greg could do was to look at her dumbly. "Mr. Stokes," she explained, "he hasn't left your side since you've been here."
The doctor finished her exam, left, and Nick walked back in. Greg was still dazed from what the doctor had said.
"You okay Greggo?" he vaguely heard Nick ask him.
"Have you really been here the whole time?" was all that Greg could reply with.
"Yeah, of course I have," Nick told him as if it was the most obvious response in the world.
"Why?" Greg asked him, now thoroughly confused. It wasn't that he wasn't grateful for what Nick had done. He just knew that Nick had a life and didn't understand why he would spend his time here watching out for Greg. No matter how much Nick may care about his friends that just seemed a little out of left field.
Nick looked at him with the most honest smile that Greg thought he had ever seen. "You needed me." Three simple words that seemed to say so much more.
When the top came off of Nick's glass hell the first thing that came into his line of sight was Greg. Nick was scared and in shock, so he just focused on Greg and somehow that made his mind and nerves calm down. When they pulled him out of the ground and put him in the ambulance they pulled him away from Greg. He loved Catherine and Warrick, but he wanted Greg with him in there. He was now losing his ability to stay calm. The paramedics and then the doctors at the hospital kept telling him that he needed to calm down and relax. Didn't they understand that he couldn't do that? Didn't they understand that he wanted to know where Greg was?
Nick's eyes felt heavy and his head seemed to be full of cotton. He had had the most horrific nightmare, or so he thought. When he finally managed to pry his eyes open, he looked around and saw that he was in the hospital. He realized that the horror had not been a nightmare, that he really had been buried alive. He saw Greg sitting in the chair next to his bed and couldn't help but smile. Greg must have seen him awake because he suddenly spoke.
"How do you feel Nicky?"
"I'm not really sure. I had kind of hoped that the whole thing had been a nightmare."
"Yeah, unfortunately it was all real," Greg replied with a sad smile on his face.
"Where is everybody?" Nick asked him weakly.
"They all had to go to work," Greg replied. "You know duty calls, especially with the two of us out."
"How long has it been?" Nick asked him.
"Almost a day," Greg replied.
Nick didn't think that could be right, but the look on Greg's face told him that it was. Then Nick thought something wasn't right. "Aren't you supposed to be working today?"
Greg gave him that shit-eating grin of his. "Do you really think that I would be working with you here?"
"Have you been here the whole time Greggo?" Greg just smiled and nodded. "Why?" Nick asked him wondering why Greg would give up his perfect job attendance record to stay with him.
"You needed me," Greg said those three simple words that Nick remembered and he couldn't help but smile.
As Greg lay in that back alley feeling that he was going to die, he was somehow peaceful. He guessed that it was because of how he got there. He knew that he could die but he figured that at least if he did he would have done it in the line of duty. Greg wasn't really a religious man, but as he was slipping away, he heard someone saying his name over and over. He figured it must be God, but he thought it was weird that God sounded like Nick.
He slowly awoke and could smell his surroundings before he opened his eyes. He had thought that he was dead, but the smell around him was very distinct. He figured that he must not be dead after all, because according to the smell, he was in the hospital. He opened his eyes, turned his head and saw Nicky sitting there. As he remembered what had brought him there, he asked the first thing that he thought of. "How is the guy from the alley?"
"He's okay, thanks to you," Nick answered him with a sad, ironic smile. "You saved that guys life Greg. You also helped us to catch those kids."
"That, that's good," Greg said glad to hear that those animals were finally off the streets. He looked at Nick and could tell that there was something that he wasn't telling him. Nick was a good actor when he wanted to be and he liked to hide his emotions, but Greg had always been able to read him. "Nicky what's wrong? What are you hiding from me?"
"You scared me today Greg," Nick whispered it so low that Greg could barely hear him over the faint beep of the machines. "I had to process your assault earlier Greg. That's one crime scene that I never thought I would have to process and it was the worst case of my career. "Nick stopped to take a breath, but Greg didn't say anything. He knew that Nick wasn't done and he feared that Nick was done being nice about it. "What the hell were you thinking out there Greg? You called for backup, why didn't you wait for it?"
"I didn't wait because there wasn't enough time," Greg calmly explained. He knew that Nick wasn't trying to yell at or discourage him; he was just trying to protect him. "If I had waited for backup, that guy would probably be dead."
"Yeah, and by going in, you could have ended up dead" Nick's voice had taken on a tone that hit Greg hard. The tone of Nick's voice said more than his actual words. The sadness in Nick's voice upset Greg more than he could have imagined.
"I'm sorry Nicky. I was just trying to help. I saw those idiots hurting that guy and I just wanted to save him. I thought that as a cop, I was supposed to do things like that."
"You are G; I don't blame you for what you did. Hell, I would have done the same thing."
"I know that you have a hard time with it, but why don't you try telling me what's really going on with you?"
"You're my best friend Greg," Nick got out slowly. "I thought that I was going to lose you and I don't think that I could handle that."
"Look Nicky," Greg started, pulling Nick's chin so that he could look in his eyes, "you and I both know that things can happen on the job and off. You can't always control what happens and you don't always have a choice. When it comes down to it though, as long as it's my choice to make, I will always choose to stick around and hang out with you."
Nick grinned shyly, surprising Greg, as that wasn't normal for Nick. "Good," Nick said. "I don't know what I would do without your Blue Hawaiian."
"You've been here the whole time Nicky?" Greg asked switching topics (he knew that Nick liked him for more than his coffee, and was just trying to change the subject.)
"There's nowhere else that I would be," he responded.
Greg smiled and asked him, "And why is that?" He already knew Nick's answer, but he wanted to hear him say it.
"You needed me."
Greg sat in the dark silently crying. The trial had taken a really hard toll on him. He still couldn't believe that he had killed a man; hell, not even a man, just a kid really. He had never killed anyone before, had never wanted to do so. Hell, he was the only CSI that didn't even carry a gun. He just did what came to him naturally that night, he had not meant for anyone to end up dead, he was trying to save a life. His cell phone rang, as it seemed to have been doing all night. He didn't bother to answer it, did not want to speak to anyone. He then thought that somebody was knocking on his door, but it blended so well with the pounding in his head that he wasn't sure, so he ignored it. He heard more pounding coming from his door and Nick's voice broke through.
"Greg, I know that you're in there. I'm not going to go away until you answer so unless you want me to piss all of your neighbors off, I suggest you open the door."
He didn't feel like answering the door, it would take too much effort, but he knew Nick and feared that he wasn't bluffing. He walked over and unlocked the door, but didn't open it. Nick must have heard the click of the lock though, because he walked in just as Greg was sitting back down.
"How you doing Greg?" Nick asked him, but he didn't bother to answer. "Look Greg," Nick said sitting down on the coffee table so that he could look at Greg, "I know that you feel bad right now, but you did not do anything wrong. You did what you had to do out there. You did what came natural and you saved that man. Hell, I would have done the same thing."
"I killed a man Nicky." It was the first thing that Greg said and the tears that Nick could hear in his voice tore his heart in two.
"I know how you feel Greggo. I felt like shit the first time that I took another man's life. Frankly, it would be bad if you felt good about it. Unfortunately, we deal with some really fucked up people in our line of work. Sometimes we have no other choice, and that's the main thing that you have to remember; we don't take their life unless they are going to take ours."
"Does it get any easier?"Greg asked, looking at him with what was left of his child-like innocence.
All that Nick could say was, "unfortunately yes."
That's when Greg finally broke. Nick moved beside him and wrapped his arms around him. As Greg cried Nick did too. He cried for his best friend. For the sadness he felt, for the beating he had taken, for all of the innocence that Greg had lost lately.
When all of their tears subsided, Greg looked at Nick, "thank you for being here for me Nicky."
Nick wiped his eyes and stated, "You needed me."
"Ha, I win again," Greg said triumphantly.
Nick smiled over at his guest. They were playing video games like they did every Friday night, while filling up on pizza and beer.
"Yep, you sure did Greggo." What Greg didn't realize was that Nick had let him win, just as he always did. Nick knew how to play; he just didn't care about winning.
After a few minutes of silence, Greg looked over at Nick, who had a weird look on his face. "You okay, Nicky?" Greg asked him.
"Huh, oh, yeah, I was just thinking about something that Warrick said to me earlier. He told me that I've changed since he's known me. That I've become more relaxed and a lot happier."
"Seriously," Greg asked with a chuckle in his voice, "That's kinda creepy, because Sara said the same thing to me earlier."
"Well now Catherine's comments make more sense.""How's that?" Greg asked him.
"Later in the shift, I overheard the three of them talking about the two of us. Basically, Warrick and Sara were saying that we had changed and Catherine said that the reason we had both changed was because of each other."
"What does that even mean?" Greg asked him moving off the floor and next to him on the couch.
"I'm not really sure," Nicky told him.
"Well I have an idea," Greg told him with a mischievous smile on his face.
Nick did not have a good feeling about this. He knew that smile of Greg's and he knew that it usually spelled trouble. When Greg got up and pulled his cell-phone out of his jacket Nick was confused and seriously worried. "Greggo, what are you doing?"
"Well, you taught me that if you need confirmation on something, you go directly to the source. If they can talk about us behind our backs then they should be able to say it to our face."
Greg pushed a speed-dial button on his phone and turned the speaker on. As he listened to the phone ring, Nick hoped that Greg was doing the right thing.
"Hello." Nick heard Sara's voice. He should have figured that out of the three Sara would be the one that Greg would call. She had a soft spot for him and would be the easiest for Greg to break.
"Hey, Sara, it's Greg."
"Whaddaya want Greg?"
"Well," he started smiling at Nick, who had a feeling Sara had no idea what she was in for, "I'm here, hanging out with Nick, and we've been talking, and it seems that we are not the only ones. It seems that you, and Catherine, and Warrick have been talking about us behind our backs." Greg loved to emphasize certain words.
"First of all Greg, quit emphasizing everything. Second of all, if we were talking 'behind your backs' then how do you know about it?" Sara had a point, but the sad thing was that she actually thought that she had just outsmarted Greg.
"Well, Sara my dear," he went on with a look that told Nick he wasn't going to let her get away with this, "you see the bad thing about talking about people behind their backs is that there is always the chance that they will overhear. Sara, ya know that I love you like the sister that I never had. I'm not mad at you, but as my 'sister' I think that you need to tell me the truth. We just want to know why you guys think that we've changed and what Catherine means that it was because of each other."
"Look guys, it wasn't meant as a bad thing. In fact the changes that we've seen in you guys are changes that we like. Greg has always been hyper, but lately he's actually gained maturity, yet somehow still retained his innocence. Nick, you're the opposite. You've always been so serious, but you've relaxed lately and you've been able to joke around and have fun. It's a good thing guys. We know that you guys are really close and you are both really great guys. It's almost like you guys have managed to bring out the best in each other."
Greg and Nick looked at each other, they were slightly confused, but they both had faint smiles on their faces.
"Guys, I want to ask you something that I'm sure you won't answer anyway, but since everybody is speculating, I have to ask."
"What is it?" They both ask her.
"What exactly is going on between the two of you? Everybody is always speculating on how close the two of you are."
"We're friends," Greg told her. "You know that Sara," Nick added.
"Yeah, I know that you're friends, you guys. What we are wondering is if you are possibly more than friends."
Nick and Greg could do nothing besides look at each other. They knew that their co-workers were a little confused about how close they are, but they had no idea that they were thinking things like this.
"Look, guys," Sara started again, "I don't know exactly what is going on between you guys, but I'm going to tell you guys that you don't need to hide it. Nobody at the lab has a problem with it. We love you both and you both deserve to be happy. You obviously make each other that way, so all power to you as far as we are concerned."
If Sara could have seen their faces she still would not have known what was going through their minds.
"Alright guys, I got to go, have a good night."
Greg heard the click of Sara hanging up and turned off his phone.
"Wow, that wasn't quite what I expected," Greg stuttered out.
"Yeah," Nick put in. "They think that we're gay."
"Well, technically, we are; aren't we?"
"Oh, yeah, I guess, we are."
"But they think that we're dating," Greg pointed out.
Nick thought about it for a minute, "well, I guess that I can see where they would get that."
Greg got a weird look on his face, walked over to the window and sat down. Worried, Nick followed him and knelt down so that he could look him in the eye. "What's the matter Greg?"
"Are we dating Nicky? I mean Sara's got me wondering now, exactly what the hell is going on with us?"
"You're my best friend Greggo, what else is there?"
"I don't know Nicky. We hang out every Friday night, which is generally 'date night'. We go to the movies, to the bar, shopping even. I tell you everything. I trust you completely. I'm closer to you than I have ever been to anyone. Short of physical 'intimacy', we share everything that a couple would."
"I guess that you do have a point G. I mean you know everything about me. You are the only one that I've ever told that I'm gay."
"Look, Nicky, I'm going to tell you something that I've been looking for the guts to say for years. I'm in love with you. I've always been in love with you. I've just always been too scared to say anything because I didn't know how you felt and I didn't want to scare you away as my best friend."
Greg did not like the look on Nick's face. For once, he couldn't read Nicky and that scared him. He got up and walked toward the door. "Never mind, never mind, I'm going to go now, please just forget that I ever even said anything."
"What if I don't want to forget?" Nicky asked, grabbing Greg's arm.
Greg slowly turned around to face Nick. He knew Nick better than anyone; he could usually read Nick and know exactly what he was thinking, no matter how hard he tried to hide it. He was having so much trouble understanding Nick right now, though. "Nicky, please, I have worked my ass off repressing my feelings for you for so long; please do not say something to get my hopes up for no reason."
"First of all, what makes you think that it would be for no reason? Second stop trying to work your 'ass' off; I like your ass, it's very nice."
Greg was seriously confused. These were the kind of things that he had always wanted to hear from Nick, but never believed that he would. He looked at Nick's smile and into his eyes and somehow he knew that this was real and Nick was speaking the truth.
"Greggo, I've been in love with you for years."
"Then why the hell didn't you ever say anything to me?" Greg questioned him hard.
"The same reason that you didn't."
Greg could not believe this. Basically he and Nick could have been together for years and they weren't because they were just too scared." So what do we do now?" he asked Nick.
"Well," Nick smiled, wrapping his arms around Greg's waist, "since we have basically been dating for years, I say that now we make it official."
"I think that I like the sound of that," Greg smiled at his new boyfriend. "You know, I think that they are right, I think that we really have changed each other."
"How do you think that we managed to do that?" Nick asked him.
They grinned at each other and simultaneously answered,
"YOU needed ME."