Her Agony
Amu lived in a life full of pain and sorrow. With no love. No, not anymore. The past was what hurt her the most, yet she didn't want to let go. But one day, she meets a boy by the name of Ikuto Tsukiyomi and he changes her life, forever.
**Sylvir: I'm just editing and reposting it in case if you didn't notice. I changed the summary too. But I'm not posting a new chapter anytime soon. Sorry guys. ):
Disclaimer- I do not own Shugo Chara or Going Under by Evanescence
If you're going to tell me it's too cliché and that it's whatever or something then don't bother reading it. I know that it might seem too cliché or something. But whatever, on with the story.
He Betrayed Me
Everyone thinks I am a rich and snobby girl who's life is the closest thing there is to perfection. I mean, yeah I live in a big house, wear expensive clothes, and my parents buy me anything I could possibly ask for. But everything has a price, right? Except, I don't pay with money. I pay a different way; with my happiness.
They say that you can buy anything with money. Wrong. In my world, you can't. It's that simple, you can't. I can't.
I hate it.
Now I will tell you what I've done for you
Fifty thousand tears I've cried
Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you
And you still won't hear me, going under
It all started in sixth grade. My parents had gotten a divorce years ago, around when I was one year old. I remember it clearly, even now. All my memories seem to be about the bad things or humiliating things that happen. Everytime I close my eyes, the past come flooding back to me. Sometimes it overwhelms me, which is not good for an emotional girl like me.
I am very, very emotional and I break down really easily.
When I'm upset, I cannot control my actions. It happened once. I got so sad after my father left that, I had attempted suicide.
I don't know who I inherited that from. I don't want to know either because I don't care anymore.
Don't want your hand this time, I'll save myself
Maybe I'll wake up for once
Not tormented daily, defeated by you
Just when I thought, I reached the bottom
My life is so…screwed up.
Sorry, I got off topic here. Sixth grade, was when my mother got married. And to who? To this mean man who hates the guts outta me! His name is Tadase Hotori. But in my head, I call him Fagagay or Tadagay. (I do not own) I think it suits him better. What about you?
I'm dying again, I'm going under
Drowning in you, I'm falling forever
I've got to break through, I'm going under
My name is Amu Hinamori. As you can probably guess, Hinamori was my father's name. Nobody in school bothered calling me Hotori so I didn't ask them to change it. I sound better off as Hinamori Amu then as Hotori Amu.
My sister, or adopted sister, Ami is okay. She isn't mean or rude to me. She understands that I don't want to be "related" to her and that I don't exactly hate her either. We leave each other alone and so our own things. Once in a while, we'll say "hi" or have small talk. That's about it. I almost forgot, she's twelve and she was adopted from an orphanage so she's not related to anyone in this family.
Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies
So I don't know what's real and what's not
So I don't know what's real and what's not
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
I tend to avoid everyone in school and keep to myself. I learned that you can't trust anyone but yourself because those close to you always ends up hurting you.
Betraying you.
Leaving you.
That's exactly what my father did. He betrayed me. He left me, and killed the side of me that was happy and carefree, nice and caring.
Now I am constantly using my façade everywhere I go. No matter where I am. No matter who I'm with.
I can't trust anyone anymore. Not my teachers. Not Ami. Not anyone. Sometimes…not even myself.
So I can't trust myself anymore
I'm dying again, I'm going under
Drowning in you, I'm falling forever
I've got to break through, I'm
I have lied so much that now, I can't even tell the difference between reality and fantasy. I can't tell the difference between the truth and the lies. I don't know who to trust anymore. I wish I do.
I have thought of opening up a bit to these group of girls at school, who were always nice to me even though I always ignore them and their kindness. I thought of opening up a bit to Ami too, and try to be friends with her. The problem is…
I'm a coward.
I don't want to risk getting hurt again. There's already so much pain in my life. I'm afraid that history will repeat itself.
So go on and scream
Scream at me, I'm so far away
I won't be broken again
I've got to breathe, I can't keep going under
I feel that my life is already confusing as it is, losing my dad and my mom turning cold all of a sudden.
But then my step-father shows up asking my mother's hand for marriage. I'm disgusted.
I'm dying again, I'm going under
Drowning in you, I'm falling forever
I've got to break through, I'm going under
Going under, I'm going under
I wish my dad never left. After all these years, I've been given to cope about it and still…I can't…I can't get over it.
I mean he just filled out some divorce papers and then
…walked
…out
…the
…door
That easy. He didn't even want to fight to have me under his custody.
Oh great Fagagay is calling me for dinner. There's a couple more things you need to know.
You were the farewell gift from dad
I named you Journal
I'm sixteen, going to be a sophomore next year
I am a student at Seiyo High.
I promise I'll keep you safe. I'll protect you.
I feel so silly talking to you, Journal. I mean you are just an imaginary "friend" that I created to help me cope with my pain. You're just an illusion I've made to help comfort myself.
I know this is random but, I was listening to Going Under by Evanescence earlier. Do you think that should be my theme song?
I really gotta go now.
Bye.
-Amu
So what do you think? Sorry it's short. I typed it up yesterday then forgot to save it! I know, smart right?
The bold itallics are the lyrics to the song. But I didn't skip any.
See an grammar mistakes? Tell me.
Review if you want me to continue please! Thanks!