It had been two years since that day that my life changed forever. The day that I doomed myself for a life of pain. If you could even call it a life.
I flew back against the wall, hitting my head hard, just like every other night for the past year and a half. I opened my eyes to see him standing over me. To love and to cherish my ass!
My tolerance for this bullshit was withering…fast. I had had about enough of being treated like shit.
He had acted so hurt about my relationship with Ranger for so long. How could he have turned against me this way? He always said he wanted me and that he loved me.
I guess his Morelli instincts weren't buried so deep after all.
Milk it for all it's worth.
Make sure you get there first.
The apple of your eye.
The rotten core inside.
We are the prisoners.
Things couldn't get much worse.
I've had it up to here, you know your end is near.
I think that he knew it was coming, that I was near my limit. For so long, I had dealt with it, every night justifying his actions from the alcohol.
Eventually, I figured out that he knew what his drinking was doing, and if he loved me as much as he said he did, he wouldn't drink anymore.
What an eye opener.
I knew that if and when I left, he would be the one that was screwed over. Not me.
Still, I felt compelled to stay. Afraid that if I left, he would make my life a living hell. I didn't want that. Plus, I was afraid he might hurt himself, or maybe even me…well, worse than before.
To be perfectly honest, I was scared that after I left, it would all come crashing down. Or, that no one else would want me. I didn't want to be alone. I also didn't want Ranger to see me in this position. He would be disappointed in me, and he might think of me as week. I wouldn't and couldn't let that happen.
[Chorus
You had to have it all,
well have you had enough?
You greedy little bastard,
You'll get what you deserve.
When all is said and done,
I will be the one to leave you in the misery and hate what you've become.
When Joe and I married, I had quit my job. I had given into the desires of the Burg and had given up the life where I was happy and had become the perfect Burg wife. I rivaled even Joe's own mother.
But, I wasn't happy. In my mind, though, I loved Joe, and I would do anything I could to make him happy. Even if it didn't make me happy.
I should have known better.
The drinking started when a case started to get rough. He was stressed and got smashed. The Morelli in him made him a mean drunk, and he took out his frustration on me. I was shocked, but I stayed. Denial is my friend, remember? Yeah, right.
Intoxicated eyes, the love and myth, that life. You should have learned by now, I'll burn this whole
World down. I need some piece of mind, no fear of what's behind. You think you've won this fight, you've
Only lost your mind.
I left.
I gave up hope that things would change and that he would be the Joe he used to be. I no longer wanted to be afraid or hurt. I wanted to be Stephanie Plum again, the Bombshell Bounty Hunter from Hell.
I could only hope that dreams could come true…I always wanted to say that.
I tore down his world. At least, the world he lived in when he wasn't under the influence. He was mad, upset, angry, and confused. Don't ask me about the last one, because I don't get it either.
I left the ring and his key on the counter, and drove. I had no idea where to go, so I went back to my old apartment lock and stared up at my old window.
My eyes started to tear up.
I had never realized how unhappy I had been for so long. Now, I had the chance to start over again. To be truly happy this time.
My passenger door opened and I jumped, instinctually reaching for the gun sitting on my lap. I was scared that Joe would chase after me and that he might try to hurt me again. This time, I was prepared, and I wasn't going to hesitate to put myself before him for the first time in a very long time. The story was that he had run out of his front door about ten minutes later, yelling my name with a drunken slur, before passing out in the middle of the street. The Trenton Police Department had been called, but they only picked him up and dropped him in his front yard instead of putting him in the house or to jail.
A mocha latte hand shot out and covered the hand that gripped the handle of my gun in a white knuckled grip. It was actually Joe's gun. I had given up my own long ago.
I looked up into concerned chocolate eyes. Ranger had found me when I needed him most. That's when I figured it out.
Every time Joe sent me to the hospital, the bills were tremendous. My secret bank account had always taken a major dent each time. Somehow, it always filled back up with more money then I could possibly make at my current job as a Macy's make-up girl.
Ranger had always been there, waiting, watching, and helping out as best he could. He had done his best without letting me know it was him and had kept his distance, just as I had asked him to when Joe and I were first married.
"Babe," he said. That's all it took for the waterworks to start.
He reached over and undid my seatbelt and pulled me over the console to sit on his lap as I cried. I muffled my sobs in his t-shirt thanking God over and over that he was always there.
He held me until I fell asleep from exhaustion much later.
[Chorus
You had to have it all,
Well have you had enough?
You greedy little bastard,
You'll get what you deserve.
When all is said and done,
I will be the one to leave you in the misery and hate what you've become.
Hold me down.
[Chorus
You had to have it all,
Well have you had enough?
You greedy little bastard,
You'll get what you deserve.
When all is said and done,
I will be the one to leave you in the misery and hate what you've become.
The next morning, I woke up in Ranger's bed in his seventh floor apartment and smiled. I realized that this is where I belonged, with the man who loved me.
I turned onto my side so that I was facing the abysmal brown eyes that were alert and watching me. I leaned forward into him so that my face was about an inch from his.
I whispered, "I love you," before kissing him with all I had, showing him my emotions within the span of about ten seconds before we broke apart.
We looked at each other with identical twinkles in our eyes for a few moments before he too whispered, "I love you too, Babe."
Now, four years later, I was married to the man I loved more than anything, who loved me back. It was hard with our jobs and differing opinions and personalities, but love was enough to keep it going.
It turns out that he wasn't disappointed in me, he was just scared for me. It made it much easier to deal with the issues with Joe. I was able to cope without too much difficulty. My family and friends supported my decision to leave when they found out why. The Merry Men, my father, some of the TPD, and even some of my male skips went and beat him up. They left a piece of him for Ranger, though, which he took happily, adding to the list of bruises Joe had acquired from the "Stephanie Plum Fan Club" as Lula had resorted to calling it.
Joe had moved to New York to escape the hateful looks of all who knew of my predicament. Meaning practically everyone.
From what I had heard, he was still into drinking and still wore his wedding band, despite the fact that we divorced right after I left. Ranger's men were keeping an eye on him and he had contacts in New York that knew him indirectly.
I could have hated him for what he did to me. But instead, every night I pray. I pray for Ranger, my two kids, my family (which now included Ranger's), my friends, and Joe. I pray that God won't be too harsh on Joe and that he can eventually be happy and have someone that he makes happy too.
Heaven help you.
Heaven help you, Joe Morelli.
Reviews pretty please with sugar on top and ice cream and the middle and whatever the hell else you want on it. I don't care. Just review for Peter Pan's sake!!!
The song is "Had Enough" by Breaking Benjamin. Super good song. Look it up!