AN: I do not own the Slayers, I just play in the sandbox.
Gourry was having a hard time settling in for the night. It was strange, because he usually slept well after a good fight. But tonight the adrenaline that had been essential for keeping him going through the battle with Shabranigdu refused to dissipate even though the danger had subsided. Thus he stayed awake, staring at the sword laying on his bedside table, thinking.
It felt strange to not feel the usual mix of anger, loss and hatred that arose when he stared at it. For so long he saw all that he had lost whenever he looked at the sword that he never thought he could look at it and see something he could gain. It was what had made him different from so much of his family. They all sought the power and prestige that came with owning the sword. Meanwhile, he saw the death and conflict.
The irony that by stealing the sword he ended up becoming the owner of something that he despised was not lost to him. Nor that no amount of talking on his part would ever convince his family that he did it because he wanted to protect the family and not so he could have it for himself. He also despised the fact that by stealing it he was lowering himself. It didn't matter that he never wanted to sword. It marginally mattered that stealing wasn't as bad as murder. The fact that he stole it revolted him. And while he desperately hoped that his family had put their differences behind them, part of him felt that it was surely a wasted effort on his part. There was simply too much bloodshed and hurt feelings.
When the man with the fishing pole had suggested finding a purpose for the weapon, the idea intrigued him. But was it really possible to find a noble purpose for something that, until then, had only brought death and destruction?
Still, after he had met him, while he still felt the usual negative emotions when he saw his weapon, they started to faded under the weight of the curiosity and hope that the man's words had stoked.
And now, a mere week after having met him, when he looked at the sword, for the first time, he felt a sense of wonder and gratitude. The awe he felt was so strong that it suffocated the old feelings of hatred, loss, and anger. To no longer feel it was so liberating…
Because of the sword, the world was safe. Shabranigdu had been defeated. If he had not been there with the Sword of Light, Shabranigdu wouldn't have been stopped. Something good had been born from his actions!
He took a deep breath, and a mental step back. If he had not given the sword to Lina, then the Dark Lord would have risen to power.
Lina had defeated Shabranigdu.
He closed his eyes and focused on the sounds rebounding through the inn. She was next door, and from the way she was breathing she was still sleeping soundly. Somehow the energy that had sustained her until they reached Atlas City vanished when they got to the inn. While she fought against sleep the entire way, he ended up having to help her up the stairs, first by providing a steady hand on her shoulder, then by picking her up and carrying her when she fell asleep mid-step. No doubt about it, that spell she cast had drained her.
She roused enough when he got her into her room to kick her boots off and warn him to let her sleep in the next day or else, but by the time he got to the door her breathing had already become deep and even.
And by the time he had reached his room, he was feeling the heady rush of excitement, arousal, and nerves that one felt when they had just met someone special, someone they liked. By the time he had entered his room and closed his door, he realized that he was falling for her, and hard.
Who else on this earth could have performed such a feat? Certainly no one living. Watching her was incredible. Epic. Somehow, he knew, they would be telling stories about her long after she had returned to the earth.
And he wanted to be a part of that. He wanted to help her. He was so relieved when she said she'd travel with him until he gave her the Sword of Light. For one thing, it wasn't going to happen, meaning she would have to travel with him indefinitely. For another, it didn't put him in the position of propositioning her and risk being turned down. She could travel with him in the vain hopes of getting his weapon till the end of time, and he would be content, because it meant she would be by his side.
Because now he had found a meaningful use for the Sword of Light. He picked up on the fact that Lina seemed to find trouble. Lina had confirmed it. So it stood to reason that she was going to need someone to watch her back. Someone who possessed a weapon powerful enough to take down the enemies they would face. Enemies that would tear the world apart. By traveling with her, he would be doing the meaningful work of keeping the world safe.
Not to mention keeping her safe. She was strong. She was smart. But as he saw when she struggled to get to her room after the hard fight, she also had her vulnerabilities. She was human. And every human needed someone to watch over them. And he had finally found someone worth protecting.
By finding a use for his weapon, he had discovered a purpose for his life. It was as though she had let the sun in after a long storm. For a while he had nearly given up hope, but the shore was close by. Now that the sun was shining there was promise, desire, and happiness to be cultivated.
He gave the sword one last look and smiled slightly before extinguishing the light. With this sword, he would do extraordinary things. With this sword, he would keep her safe.