Disclaimer: We don't own anything but Katherine… We think.
Xover between LOTR, POTC, POTO, Edward Scissorhands, Wicked,Star Wars, Harry Potter, and MILD House MD.
A long ,long time ago, in a galaxy far away, Naboo was under an attack. And then Dr. Robert Chase saved the day and took us to House-land! But that's not the story, this is- Katherine was walking up a lush hill in the middle of a valley. She then somehow fell through a portal and ended up in Middle Earth! The battle of the Fourth Age happened to be going on at the same time.
"Oh no!" Katherine thought as she ran away from a man with a shaggy beard on a horse. Instinct told her he was a king named Aragorn. The horse he was on, Brego, tried to eat Katherine's straight black hair.
"Daro I!" Aragorn shouted at his hair eating horse. Katherine gave him a funny look as she inspected her surroundings. As a battle was raving, some very strange people were doing some very strange things. A large man dressed in beautifully Cloroxed white robes was waving his staff like a madman. Katherine made a quizzical look, and Aragorn laughed at her face. There was also a very pale man in a black suit trimming the hedges with what looked like scissorhands. Katherine had a feeling that his name was Edward. Katherine's feeling were usually right. Until now. There was a man standing on a willow tree singing "Yo ho, a pirates life for me". She had a feeling he was drunk. She was wrong, this is just how he acts naturally.
"'Allo lassie! What are you doing here in Everywhere? I'm Jack Sparrow!" He said.
"Um… Everywhere? I don't think…" Katherine answered. He introduced many people, including Aragorn, Edward Scissorhands, and Dr. Chase.
A load of people were fighting, but it wasn't clear who was winning. On one side there were large people in capes with massive glowsticks on a handle. A.k.a. lightsabers, but Katherine didn't know that yet. On the side closest to her, old men in tights were fighting, but she didn't know who they were or what they were doing in tights. Now, the writers of this fanfiction have absolutely no idea what old men in tights were doing in Everywhere, so we'll let you figure that out yourself!
"Katherine, I am your father!" A man in a black suit said, then he took off his mask and revealed an amazingly-hot-if-he-hadn't-been-utterly-deformed guy. Katherine began to drool.
After many introductions to random people from Everywhere. She met everyone from Doctors to Assassins, Pirates to Elves, Wizards to Opera ghosts.
"This is going to be a long day." Katherine said under her breath.
Katherine was very absorbed in several people, including a "Ghost" named Erik, a Jedi named Luke, and a Wizard named Harry.
"So you put your curses inside your books?" Erik asked Harry quizzically.
"And you sing your curses?" Harry returned.
Katherine's head was swimming with questions , but she ignored the impulses to ask. She instead insisted on sleeping.
"Lazy bum," Harry, Erik, Luke and Jack said in unicen. When Katherine awoke, Edward stood over her, carefully examining her facial features. He was cutting a shrub to look like Katherine and was doing a spectacular job.
Katherine was speechless. So Jack Sparrowdecided to talk for her.
"Drinks all around!"
"Aren't we in the middle of a battle?" the warrior Aragorn asked, eager to kill.
"…Jack?…" Edward asked.
"Yes?"
"The enemy retreated when you showed up," Luke finished up.
"…Thank you, Luke…" Edward said shyly.
"So….when can I go home?" Katherine asked quietly.
"What?" the characters said.
"Like, go home, to my house, where I live…"
"Oh. Click your heels three times and you'll be home," A witch wearing loads of pink said.
"Ha ha, very funny, Glinda," Katherine said.
"Actually its GAlinda. With a GA," Galinda corrected.
"Sure it is, you wannabe," Another witch with green skin and wearing black commented.
"I like your hat." Edward said.
"Thank you!" The two witches said simultaneously. They glared at each other with a hatred that could be only understood by people who have been in the Soviet Union.
"I feel schizophrenic." Jack said to Edward.
"I feel schizophrenic," Edward said to Jack. Jack looked around and he was stopped when he saw a sight that disturbed on a slightly higher level than the sight of Will in the water. It was Erik on a bridge holding Christine in a position that he would only like to be held in under deadly circumstances.
Katherine still hadn't said anything for quite some time, so Aragorn tried to get her out of her solitude.
"Hey, Kat….it's okay if I call you Kat right? Lets go for a walk down by the stream."
"Uh…sure…but …oh nevermind."
As Kat and Aragorn made their way to the stream, only Erik, Jack, Edward, and Galinda followed.
"I need to get home, Aragorn," Kat said rather loudly.
"Follow the green brick road! We'll come too!" Galinda suggested.
"Green brick road? What happened to yellow?" Kat asked.
"We were out. Anyways, you'll be so distracted with us following you, that you won't even notice the color of the road!" Galinda continued.
"Wow, you sure are peppy. How do you do it?"
"16 ounces of coffee."
A gasp erupted from the small crowd of people behind them. Only Erik didn't respond to the amazing amount of caffeine. He was too busy singing about an angel and a chandelier.
"Well then! Shall we continue on our quest for truth, justice, and Kat's house?" Jack asked. He got several odd looks from his peers, then he grabbed Kat's hand and instinctively, everyone else followed.
They walked for hours without taking a rest. Aragorn jumped onto every rock he couldn't find.
"Why does he keep doing that?" Kat asked the group.
"Bad habit." Edward replied.
"That… doesn't make any sense no matter how much you explain it," Kat responded confusedly.
After a short break in a meadow, the travelers carried on to the next cornfield. There they found a large stick in the shape of an O.
"How many rings could Frodo chuck if Frodo could chuck rings?" A voice sang. It was coming from the stick, and as Kat inspected it, she found a short person, not quite as tall dwarf, but not quite an (a/n-KEEBLER!) elf.
"He's a hobbit," Aragorn explained, almost reading Kat's mind.
"Hello!" the hobbit said in a cute little Scottish accent. "I'm Pippin!" He bowed deeply for it was the polite thing to do.
"You bow to no one." Aragorn said. He likes to repeat himself.
"ARAGORN!" the tiny man squealed!
The two embraced as Aragorn laughed heartily.
And then Kat woke up.
"Whoa. What a weird dream," She said.
"I'll say," Pippin chirped.