A.N. This is the first of the many parodies that were inspired by Sirius-Writer's fanart on deviantART, a lot of which she gave me permission to do (some I'm not gonna do because I don't know the films well enough or simply wasn't interested). She did two for The Emperor's New Groove, one with Cheese Sandwich as Kuzco and another with Bulk Biceps as Kronk.

I then figured out the rest, including Suri Polomare as Yzma. I know their personalities don't entirely match, but they both are ambitious and willing to lie to get what they want. Plus I figured that for this parody Suri could be much older and bitter - plus a little crazy - from having failed in the fashion industry only to discover that she was good at making potions. Then she used that to worm her way into the royal court, eventually becoming Cheese's - called Cheeso for the sake of the first song - royal advisor.

Also I haven't given up on my main stories, it's just that Sirius-Writer has been waiting months for these parodies and I figured doing a fun parody would be a good way to get back in the flow of writing fanfics. So with that said...

A thunderstorm boomed over a jungle far away. Deep in the jungle sat a miserable looking golden-furred dog with curly brown hair covering his neck and a brown tail. Normally his green eyes were bright with energy and joy, but now they were dull with sorrow and regret.

An extra-loud thunder startled him before rain drenched him to the bone, causing him to whimper. He went over to a huge leaf for shelter, but the leaf became filled with water and ended up drenching him even more.

Will you take a look at that? Pretty pathetic huh? Well you'll never believe it but that dog you're looking at was once an Earth pony. And not just any Earth pony, that guy was an emperor. A rich powerful ball of charisma, oh yeah! This is his story. Well, actually my story. That's right, I'm that dog. The name is Cheeso. Emperor Cheeso. I was the world's nicest guy and they ruined my life for no reason! Oh is that hard to believe? Well I tell you what, you go back a ways, you know, before I was a dog, and this will all make sense.

It all started when Cheeso was a little foal who was playing with his chicken doll-

Uh, MWolfL, that's a little too far back. Ohhh look at me, that's me as a foal, look how cute-

*ahem* Anyway, it really started when adult pony Cheeso combed his mane before flicking the comb back into it's holder. He then tossed his crown into the air and neatened an eyebrow before his crown fell neatly onto his head.

"Oh yeah." Cheeso posed.

He then started walking down a blue carpet that was being laid by a servant. A little filly servant spread flower petals into the carpet in front of him as an unknown voice began singing:

There are despots and dictators
Political manipulators
There are blue bloods with the intellects of fleas

There are kings and petty tyrants
Who are so lacking in refinements
They'd be better suited swinging from the trees

Cheeso then clapped his hooves and a bunch of servants carved out a doorway for him to walk through. He clapped again, and another servant picked him up in a chair and carried him up a long staircase to one of his thrones.

He was born and raised to rule
No one has ever been this cool
In a thousand years of aristocracy

An enigma and a mystery
In Meso Equestrian History
The quintessence of perfection that is he

Cheeso opened a new building, used a stamp to kiss a few babies, and christened a new ship. He was exhausted from this, so the servants wiped his forehead, fanned him, and gave him water to gargle with. After that he repositioned himself so that he could lie down on his throne.

Okay this is the real me. Not a dog, a pony. A hip stallion not a mangy mutt. Royal = winner, canine = loser. Okay now my palace? Everyone in it is in my command. Check this out.

"Butler." Cheeso clapped his hooves.

The butler tied a napkin around his neck.

"Chef." Cheeso clapped his hooves.

A huge feast was prepared for him.

"Theme song guy." Cheeso clapped his hooves.

A short stallion with a huge mane-do appeared out of the cake and continued the song:

Oh yeah!
He's the sovereign of the nation
He's the hippest cat in creation
He's the alpha, the omega, a to z

Cheeso then clapped his hooves again and a bunch of servants appeared with forks and plates full of food. They began feeding hm.

And this perfect world will spin
Around his every little whim
'Cause this perfect world begins and ends with

"Me!" Cheeso grinned as he pointed at himself.

What's his name?
Cheeso
That's his name
Cheeso
He's the king of the world
Cheeso
Is he hip or what?
Cheeso
Yeah!

Cheeso started doing a hip dance, but when he did a backwards walk he bumped into an old stallion.

"Oh, you threw off my groove!" Cheeso pouted.

"I'm sorry, but you threw off the emperor's groove." A soldier told the old stallion.

"Sorry!" The old man called as he was tossed out the window.

"You were saying?" Cheeso asked the theme song guy.

What's his name?
Cheeso
Cheeso
That's his name
Cheeso
Cheeso
Is he hip or what?
Cheeso
Don't you know he's the king of the world
Cheeso
Uh-huh, yeah! Oh!

Cheeso now was dancing on a stage with a bunch of soldiers as backup dancers. He then danced down a path gesturing for all the servants there to bow to him, which they did. Then when he reached the doors at the other end...

"Ha! Boom baby!" He kicked them open.

A fancier-looking servant there made a startled noise, but recovered.

"Your highness, it is time for you to choose your bride." He said.

"All righty, trot out the ladies." Cheeso went over to a lineup of seven princesses. "Let's take a look see. Hate your hair, not likely, yikes, yikes, and let me guess you have a great personality." He finished sarcastically before going over to the servant. "Is this really the best you can do?"

"Well yes, oh no, well I mean perhaps..." The servant stammered nervously.

"What is he babbling about? He's like the thing that wouldn't shut up." Cheeso thought to himself irritatedly.