Shopping, it's fun.
A/N: Yay. I'm alive. And this is my first Hetalia Story, and it sucks! But still, Shopping is fun. Isn't it? Please excuse me if I have any errors. I checked it a lot, and I'm too stubborn to get a beta. xD
Title: Shopping, it's fun.
Universe: Regular universe.
Pairings: None.
Characters: S. Italy/Romano, Hong Kong.
Rating: T
Warnings: Excessive use of like, bastard, and damn. And it's a story with Romano in it. He cusses.
"Mr. Romano, thank you for taking me along with you. Like, seriously." The Cantonese teen thanked the Italian man graciously.
"Whatever, panda bastard…." Romano said, rolling his eyes. Hong Kong's eyes glinted at his sentence.
"…..Mr. Romano, why do you call everyone a bastard?" Hong Kong asked with his gaze focused on a notepad.
"Because, they are bastards, there isn't any other way I could put it." Romano stated bluntly. Hong Kong just stood. He was like, totally dazzled by Romano's common sense. I mean…ROMANO DEFIES LOGIC. Seriously, isn't that awesome?
"Mr. Romano…..what do you like, call everyone then?" Hong Kong asked with his eyes filled with curiosity. Romano rolled his eyes as he took out a list filled with his wonderful handwriting. Hong Kong stared at the list, while Romano smiled at the list.
"…..Mr. Romano, why do you have a list of nicknames?"
"I can't remember all of the nicknames, damn it!"
Hong Kong took the list and skimmed through it. Wow, this is such a long list, Hong Kong thought. He looked at the names carefully….and opened his mouth to read them out loud.
"Tomato Bastard=Spain
Potato Bastard=Germany
Hentai Bastard=Japan
Panda Bastard=China/Hong Kong
Kimchi Bastard=South Korea
Hamburger Bastard=America
Tea Bastard=England
Idiotic Potato Bastard=Prussia
Piano Bastard=Austria
Gun Bastard-Switzerland
Elephant Bastard=Thailand
Soccer Bastard=Cameroon
Wannabe Country Bastard=Sealand
Internet Bastard=Ladonia
Swedish Bastard= Sweden
Santa Bastard=Finland
Licorice Bastard=Iceland
Danish Bastard=Denmark
Butter Bastard=Norway
Pink Bastard=Poland
Maple Syrup Bastard=….Someone. I forgot it, dammit!
Rapist Bastard=France
Pipe Bastard=Russia (I don't call him that, though…BECAUSE HE SCARES THE FUCK OUT OF ME. DAMN IT. T^T He's so fucking scary, damn it!)
Koala Bastard=Australia
Stick Bastard=Bulgaria
Vampire Bastard=Romania
Computer Bastard=Estonia
Coward Bastard=Latvia
Lithuanian Bastard=Lithuania
Indian Bastard=India." Hong Kong recited the whole list while warily staring at Romano.
"Mr. Romano. This list….like, some of the nicknames are just….stupid sounding. No offense, Mr. Romano!" Hong Kong exclaimed.
"Hey! Don't make high expectations of me, damn it!" Romano yelled at Hong Kong, "Jeez. You just expect too much from me don't you, kid?"
"I'm like, not a kid, Mr. Romano!" Hong Kong shouted contradicting Romano's line. Romano just sighed and glared at him. They continued to walk around the mall. And on the ground, there was a lone cup from a restaurant. Without looking on the ground, Romano tripped on it. He screamed. Loudly.
"FFFFF- THIS FUCKING HURTS SO MUCH, DAMN IT! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU FUCKING CUP! This fucking cup needs to go die, damn it! Panda Bastard! Get this fucking stupid cup the hell out of my fucking sight, dammit!" Romano yelled. He was so loud, everyone in the mall started to stare at him.
"Mommy, what does "Fucking" mean?" A little boy asked innocently. Hong Kong face-palmed while Romano continued to cuss at the cup….
"….Son, I don't think you need to know. Just ignore him, come on…let's go." The mother said, nervously trying to skip around the subject. The boy nodded and skipped off towards the toy store.
Hong Kong just glared at Romano. Romano looked up from the cursed cup, and saw Hong Kong glaring at him. Romano decided that he should just…..hide behind the trash can.
So he did.
Because he's stupid like that.
"Mr. Romano. Should we…like, continue shopping?" Hong Kong asked while twitching slightly. Romano looked at a tomato themed shop.
"Whatever, panda bastard…Just…let me get some…tomatoes..." When Romano finished that sentence, he ran off to the tomato themed store. He looked back, and saw that Hong Kong was just staring at him in awe. You know, because Romano just…has…that sense…..of authority. Yeah, and China said that Romano had authority over Hong Kong.
….Because Romano is obviously older.
Romano rushed back, carrying two baskets full of tomatoes. Hong Kong obviously was all like, "WTF?" Romano was smiling in glee. Hong Kong always wondered why he was so obsessed with tomatoes…He'll probably never know.
"I love tomatoes...Oh, now we can go to the damn fucking store now." Romano told Hong Kong.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Time Skip-To the store
"Mr. Romano, I think this Pink Beret like, looks wonderful on you." Hong Kong said after he put the pink hat on the Italian's head.
"WHAT THE HELL, PANDA BASTARD? This is only for fucking gay German people!" Romano screamed at the Cantonese teen. He took the gay-sparkly-pink-totally-Poland-worthy beret and threw it toward a rack. Romano's temper started to rise.
"Don't play around with that fucking shit, Panda Bastard! Damn it..." Romano started to rant one of his totally arguable rants.
"Ahem. Mr. Romano, I think we should try to co-"Hong Kong started to say but then, "PFFT. Mr. Romano, that was so hilarious. MAN. You should've seen your face!"
Hong Kong started bursting out in laughter, while Romano just glared at him.
"Stupid damn Panda Bastard," Romano muttered under his breath, "Maybe I'll find a dress that suits you well, you fucking Panda Bastard."
Hong Kong frowned at the thought of being in the dress, remembering that time at Christmas. Then he remembered about China being in a dress…he started to laugh again.
"Panda Bastard, don't get distracted!" Romano snapped at the boy. Hong Kong looked at reality and realized what he was supposed to do.
Hong Kong stood up, and calmly wiped off the dirt. He saw that Romano was keenly eyeing the purple sleeveless dress on the rack. Hong Kong's eyes widened, knowing what the green-eyed man was about to do.
And he made a run for it.
"HEY! COME BACK HERE!" Romano screamed at the teenager, and began to chase after him.
Hong Kong saw Romano gaining up on his back, so Hong Kong decided to throw him off and ran the other way. The way went out of the store. The brown-eyed teenage spotted the Trash Can and started running over there.
Hong Kong hid behind the trash can, and Romano finally slowed down. Hong Kong popped his head out from behind the trash can, wondering if Romano saw him.
"…I found you. Whatever, let's just continue on shopping." Romano suggested. Hong Kong nodded and started to follow Romano to their next destination.
"Like, I'm sorry Mr. Romano. I'll make it up to you. Like, somehow." Hong Kong said with a blank face. It didn't really sound forgiving, but whatever. It's Hong Kong, we are talking about.
…
The two continued to walk. And walk. And walk even more. And right now, the author is too lazy to say what's next.
Then Hong Kong saw the manga store. Hong Kong dragged Romano and ran in.
"Ow! What the hell was that for, Panda Bastard?" Romano demanded the Cantonese teen.
"…."
"Answer me, damn it!"
"…It's manga, pretty self-explanatory."
Romano should've probably known that Hong Kong was a cheapo by now. But…..unfortunately, he didn't. Oh…Hong Kong, how do we love your cheap ways?
"Panda bastard. You fucking kidding me? I'm wasting my fucking damn precious time to go shopping with you!" Romano snapped at the boy.
"Mr. Romano, it was simply your choice. If it would make you feel better, we could go bother Mr. Germany." Hong Kong explained calmly.
"….Okay. Potato Bastard must be bothered, anyways." Romano said nonchalantly with a straight face. Hong Kong shrugged, and they continued on walking.
They kept walking in silence.
The silence was tis a very awkward silence.
But, Hong Kong took it in his own hands to break it.
"Mr. Romano, may I ask you a question?" Hong Kong asked the Italian man.
"…You are already asking a fucking question, you damn panda bastard!" Romano snapped at Hong Kong. Hong Kong's face became blank like it was 10 minutes earlier. Hong Kong shrugged, and started to ask him a question.
"Did you like, have a good time?"
Romano thought very hard through the question, searching for an acceptable answer.
"Of course I didn't, I wasted my time going with you!" Romano yelled at the Cantonese teen.
"….Okay, Mr. Romano." Hong Kong answered to his complaint with his head down. He was actually thinking something else.
Oh. So Mr. Romano is a huge tsundere. I might use that sometime….Heh, Hong Kong thought jokingly.
"Ugh…" Romano groaned. He was having a fight with his inner self, otherwise known as the evil thing we like to call a "conscience" Hong Kong looked at Romano in surprise.
"Mr. Romano, are you like, o-"
"I'm sorry, damn it! Okay, I lied. I guess I had a great time hanging out with you, Panda Bastard." Romano snapped at the Cantonese Teen, cutting off his sentence. He at least some-what apologized.
Hong Kong leaned against the trash can with a confused face, trying to figure out what's wrong with Romano.
"Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it, Mr. Romano." Hong Kong replied thoughtfully. Hong Kong slightly smiled at the Italian man.
"You have a new friend now, Mr. Romano."
Romano smiled at that sentence. He had a friend, yes; I'm trying to state this in the least cheesiest way possible.
"Oh, like, by the way, Mr. Romano…."
"What?"
"…Are you like, okay with me putting you in a yaoi doujin with Mr. Norway?"
"…."
Romano kept twitching all the way home.
A/N: Baha. Poor Romano. xD
….Oh, and sorry Norway. xD
I might make this into a series of how two unlikely people get along on a shopping trip. Might.