Yu-gi-oh the weakest link.
This is my first comedy fic so let me know what you think of it!!
Smurf: Welcome to the weakest link, I am your host smurf [smiles and waves at camera]
Kaiba: [whispers to yugi] whos he talking to?
Joey: anyway smurf wheres that bag of money you promised us for coming here?
Smurf: bag of money? Tee hee, opps sorry the shows starting
Tristan: Hey get your *beep* ass down the *beep* stairs and get my mother *beep* money you son of a *beep*
Smurf: Thank god for beeping, anyway its time to play the weakest link
Tea: I am not playing anything, I just want my bag of money!!!
Smurf: yeah well listen, about that
Preston[hes an original character from my other fan-fic] Get the money now!!!
Smurf: after the show guys, I promise you'll get it, so anyway our ten contestants are here for the weakest link
Joey: don't believe a thing he says!!! Hes lieing I tells ya
Smurf: THERE ARE 10 PEOPLE HERE, SEE COUNT THEM
Joey, ehhh one, three, nine.. Erm I'll take your word for it
Mai: sigh really joey, can you not go 10 seconds without humiliating yourself.
Joey: can you not go 10 seconds without revealing yourself!!!
Smurf: alright already calm down!! looks at mai although I thought there was a dress code to get in here?
Joey: more like a bed code in mai's sake
Mai: JUST WHAT ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF?
Joey: sleeping with security gaurds.
Smurf: [ignores them] well anyway we have our 10 contestants yugi, joey, tristan, kaiba, tea, mai, preston, bakura, bandit keith and pegasus. The first question will go to bakura
Bakura: is this when I get my bag of money
Smurf: THERE IS NO MONEY UNLESS YOU WIN, I LIED
Bakura: lies make baby jesus cry.
Smurf: shut the beep up
Show producer: hey hey hey!!! Less of that or I'll dock your wages
Smurf: sorry sir
Show producer: there will be no shiny penny for you if it happens again
Smurf: It wont sir [tear runs down cheek] Anyway bakura your first question is.. How many millenium items are there
Bakura: I have one
Smurf: that's great but how many is there altogether
Bakura: one?
Smurf: ermmmm no *link 0 now tea.
Tea: quit picking on me!!!
Smurf: [groans]
Joey: hey man go easy on her
Smurf: I didn't do anything
Tea: [sobs] why is it always me
Smurf: sweatdrop runs down cheek tea what is the name of the town you live in
Tea: Baghdad?
Smurf: ....
Tea: Paris?
Smurf:...
Tea: pallet town?
Smurf: unbeleivable, you don't even know where you live *link 0 kaiba.
Kiaba: yeah?
Smurf: what is the name of the strongest duel monsters card?
Kaiba: if you don't let me get it right my company will break your legs
Legless man in audience: He aint kidding!!!
Smurf: ermmm correct *link 50
Smurf: Yugi what is the name off the regional champion?
Yugi: weevil underwood
Smurf: correct, tristan
Tristan BANK the *beep money
Smurf: no need for the langauge
Tristan: but I *beep didn't , all I *beep said was bank the money!!!
Smurf: sure you did [gives thumbs up to sound manager] what is the name of joeys sister
Tristan: too easy its ernie!!!
Joey: You.. [leaps over to tristan and starts pounding him]
Smurf:wrong *link 0 pegasus
Pegasus: despite recent rumours I am not a homose.
Smurf: will you shut up and just answer the question, what element is the flame swordsman
Pegaus: ooooo hes dreamy [dreams of flame swordsman]
Smurf: alrighty.. Mai
Mai: yes hun
Smurf: what is the name of kaibas favourite card
Mai: hmmm well when I was sleeping with him he said it was the blue eyes white dragon
Joey: hey!!! You dirty slag..
Mai: ehhh, did I say that?
Smurf: ermmm, that's correct *link 50 , joey
Joey: MAI MAI MAI
Smurf: erm name a slapper... correct *link100, now preston
Preston: can i phone a friend
Smurf: this is not who wants to be a millionaire!! and anyway i havent asked the question yet
Tristan: [ spits across room]
Preston: [spit lands on forehead] you bastard!! [shakes fist at tristan]
Smurf: i dont get it, why wasnt it beeped out. [looks at sound guy]
Sound guy: [shrugs]
Smurf: anyway preston who many vowels are there in the word sometimes?
Preston: ermm 4?
Smurf: correct link*150 bandit keith [theme tune fills the room]
Smurf: what the hell are you doing
Sound man: sorry, i just thought....
Smurf: [sighs] your question keith is name one card needed to form the great the moth
Bandit keith: thats easy dweeb its the coccoon of evolution
Smurf: YOU CANT INSULT ME ON MY SHOW, I'LL HAVE YOU KILLED, err i mean correct *link200 bakura...
Bakura: bank
Smurf: name a fire type card
Bakura: bank!!
Smurf: yeah ok the money is banked now answer the question
Bakura: ermmm bank?
Smurf: moving on.. tea
Tea: WLL YOU LEAVE ME ALONE, I DONT DESERVE THIS BULLYING
Joey: hey back off man just leave her
Tristan: i'll *beep kill you
Smurf: i'm only asking her a *beep question
Producer: alright you've been warned, sort him out gaurds
Smurf: but, hey!!
[one quick beating later]
Smurf: tea your question is how many brusies are on my face?
Tea: too many?
Smurf: correct *link 50 kaiba how many cards must you have in a dueling deck
Kaiba: under 3 million?
Smurf: technically thats correct i suppose, altthough
Kaiba: [waves baseball bat]
Smurf: ermmm it is correct, yup no doubt *link100 yugi,
Yugi: bank
Smurf: name a the magic card that eliminates all monsters on the field
Yugi: thats easy its monster reborn!!
Smurf: what an idiot.... tristan
Tristan: *beep
Smurf: ok my producer is telling me not to talk to you..
Tristan: i am not *beep cursing
Smurf: pegasus, if you see an unarmed man what do you do?
Pegasus: oooo tee hee i dont think i can say that on live television gwaa hah
Joey: [raises eyebrow]
Smurf: mai what colour is the red eyes black dragon
Mai: erm red?
Joey: you stupid slut!!!
Smurf: joey what does a feather duster do?
Joey how should i know?
Mai: you dunce joey...
Smurf: preston....
Preston: [launchs spit at tristan]
Tristan: [hits him on the nose] you little *beep
Smurf: preston name the tournament that was created by pegasus
Preston: ermmm nokia game?
Smurf: ......... bandit keith what element is the dark sorcerer, the clue is in the dark part
Bandit keith: hey im not thick i know its a fire element
Smurf: well that was great everyone, but the time is up, you banked 250 in that round, but know it is time to choose who is the one that is slowing you down... who is the weakest link?
[da da de da]
Mysterious voice: statistically tea was the weakest link from this round while kaiba was the strongest link, but will the players have noticed
Smurf: tristan who did you pick?
Tristan: i didnt get a pen
Smurf: ...... here take this bloody pen [tosses pen at tristan]
Tristan: no need for *beep cursing
Smurf: tell me your votes now
Kaiba: Bakura Yugi: kaiba Bakura: tea Joey: mai Mai: joey Preston: tristan Bandit keith: kaiba Tea: bakura Tristan: Preston Pegasus: pegasus
Smurf: you cant self eliminate pegasus
Pegasus: self eliminate? oh my no, i thought we had to write our names down, i wish to eliminate bakura.
Smurf: Joey why mai?
Joey: cos shes a dirty street slut
Mai: you say that like its a bad thing
Smurf: tristan why preston?
Tristan: cos he keeps *beep spitting on me the little bitch!!
Smurf: okkkkk well with 3 votes you are the weakest link bakura... goodbye
Bakura: bye [waves uncontrolably]
Smurf: [signals for gaurds] take em away boys
Smurf: be sure to tune in again for round 2
Backstage
Bakura: i hope tea is the next to leave
Interviewer: whys that?
Bakura: i dont know!!! [pretends to fly around room]
This is my first comedy fic so let me know what you think of it!!
Smurf: Welcome to the weakest link, I am your host smurf [smiles and waves at camera]
Kaiba: [whispers to yugi] whos he talking to?
Joey: anyway smurf wheres that bag of money you promised us for coming here?
Smurf: bag of money? Tee hee, opps sorry the shows starting
Tristan: Hey get your *beep* ass down the *beep* stairs and get my mother *beep* money you son of a *beep*
Smurf: Thank god for beeping, anyway its time to play the weakest link
Tea: I am not playing anything, I just want my bag of money!!!
Smurf: yeah well listen, about that
Preston[hes an original character from my other fan-fic] Get the money now!!!
Smurf: after the show guys, I promise you'll get it, so anyway our ten contestants are here for the weakest link
Joey: don't believe a thing he says!!! Hes lieing I tells ya
Smurf: THERE ARE 10 PEOPLE HERE, SEE COUNT THEM
Joey, ehhh one, three, nine.. Erm I'll take your word for it
Mai: sigh really joey, can you not go 10 seconds without humiliating yourself.
Joey: can you not go 10 seconds without revealing yourself!!!
Smurf: alright already calm down!! looks at mai although I thought there was a dress code to get in here?
Joey: more like a bed code in mai's sake
Mai: JUST WHAT ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF?
Joey: sleeping with security gaurds.
Smurf: [ignores them] well anyway we have our 10 contestants yugi, joey, tristan, kaiba, tea, mai, preston, bakura, bandit keith and pegasus. The first question will go to bakura
Bakura: is this when I get my bag of money
Smurf: THERE IS NO MONEY UNLESS YOU WIN, I LIED
Bakura: lies make baby jesus cry.
Smurf: shut the beep up
Show producer: hey hey hey!!! Less of that or I'll dock your wages
Smurf: sorry sir
Show producer: there will be no shiny penny for you if it happens again
Smurf: It wont sir [tear runs down cheek] Anyway bakura your first question is.. How many millenium items are there
Bakura: I have one
Smurf: that's great but how many is there altogether
Bakura: one?
Smurf: ermmmm no *link 0 now tea.
Tea: quit picking on me!!!
Smurf: [groans]
Joey: hey man go easy on her
Smurf: I didn't do anything
Tea: [sobs] why is it always me
Smurf: sweatdrop runs down cheek tea what is the name of the town you live in
Tea: Baghdad?
Smurf: ....
Tea: Paris?
Smurf:...
Tea: pallet town?
Smurf: unbeleivable, you don't even know where you live *link 0 kaiba.
Kiaba: yeah?
Smurf: what is the name of the strongest duel monsters card?
Kaiba: if you don't let me get it right my company will break your legs
Legless man in audience: He aint kidding!!!
Smurf: ermmm correct *link 50
Smurf: Yugi what is the name off the regional champion?
Yugi: weevil underwood
Smurf: correct, tristan
Tristan BANK the *beep money
Smurf: no need for the langauge
Tristan: but I *beep didn't , all I *beep said was bank the money!!!
Smurf: sure you did [gives thumbs up to sound manager] what is the name of joeys sister
Tristan: too easy its ernie!!!
Joey: You.. [leaps over to tristan and starts pounding him]
Smurf:wrong *link 0 pegasus
Pegasus: despite recent rumours I am not a homose.
Smurf: will you shut up and just answer the question, what element is the flame swordsman
Pegaus: ooooo hes dreamy [dreams of flame swordsman]
Smurf: alrighty.. Mai
Mai: yes hun
Smurf: what is the name of kaibas favourite card
Mai: hmmm well when I was sleeping with him he said it was the blue eyes white dragon
Joey: hey!!! You dirty slag..
Mai: ehhh, did I say that?
Smurf: ermmm, that's correct *link 50 , joey
Joey: MAI MAI MAI
Smurf: erm name a slapper... correct *link100, now preston
Preston: can i phone a friend
Smurf: this is not who wants to be a millionaire!! and anyway i havent asked the question yet
Tristan: [ spits across room]
Preston: [spit lands on forehead] you bastard!! [shakes fist at tristan]
Smurf: i dont get it, why wasnt it beeped out. [looks at sound guy]
Sound guy: [shrugs]
Smurf: anyway preston who many vowels are there in the word sometimes?
Preston: ermm 4?
Smurf: correct link*150 bandit keith [theme tune fills the room]
Smurf: what the hell are you doing
Sound man: sorry, i just thought....
Smurf: [sighs] your question keith is name one card needed to form the great the moth
Bandit keith: thats easy dweeb its the coccoon of evolution
Smurf: YOU CANT INSULT ME ON MY SHOW, I'LL HAVE YOU KILLED, err i mean correct *link200 bakura...
Bakura: bank
Smurf: name a fire type card
Bakura: bank!!
Smurf: yeah ok the money is banked now answer the question
Bakura: ermmm bank?
Smurf: moving on.. tea
Tea: WLL YOU LEAVE ME ALONE, I DONT DESERVE THIS BULLYING
Joey: hey back off man just leave her
Tristan: i'll *beep kill you
Smurf: i'm only asking her a *beep question
Producer: alright you've been warned, sort him out gaurds
Smurf: but, hey!!
[one quick beating later]
Smurf: tea your question is how many brusies are on my face?
Tea: too many?
Smurf: correct *link 50 kaiba how many cards must you have in a dueling deck
Kaiba: under 3 million?
Smurf: technically thats correct i suppose, altthough
Kaiba: [waves baseball bat]
Smurf: ermmm it is correct, yup no doubt *link100 yugi,
Yugi: bank
Smurf: name a the magic card that eliminates all monsters on the field
Yugi: thats easy its monster reborn!!
Smurf: what an idiot.... tristan
Tristan: *beep
Smurf: ok my producer is telling me not to talk to you..
Tristan: i am not *beep cursing
Smurf: pegasus, if you see an unarmed man what do you do?
Pegasus: oooo tee hee i dont think i can say that on live television gwaa hah
Joey: [raises eyebrow]
Smurf: mai what colour is the red eyes black dragon
Mai: erm red?
Joey: you stupid slut!!!
Smurf: joey what does a feather duster do?
Joey how should i know?
Mai: you dunce joey...
Smurf: preston....
Preston: [launchs spit at tristan]
Tristan: [hits him on the nose] you little *beep
Smurf: preston name the tournament that was created by pegasus
Preston: ermmm nokia game?
Smurf: ......... bandit keith what element is the dark sorcerer, the clue is in the dark part
Bandit keith: hey im not thick i know its a fire element
Smurf: well that was great everyone, but the time is up, you banked 250 in that round, but know it is time to choose who is the one that is slowing you down... who is the weakest link?
[da da de da]
Mysterious voice: statistically tea was the weakest link from this round while kaiba was the strongest link, but will the players have noticed
Smurf: tristan who did you pick?
Tristan: i didnt get a pen
Smurf: ...... here take this bloody pen [tosses pen at tristan]
Tristan: no need for *beep cursing
Smurf: tell me your votes now
Kaiba: Bakura Yugi: kaiba Bakura: tea Joey: mai Mai: joey Preston: tristan Bandit keith: kaiba Tea: bakura Tristan: Preston Pegasus: pegasus
Smurf: you cant self eliminate pegasus
Pegasus: self eliminate? oh my no, i thought we had to write our names down, i wish to eliminate bakura.
Smurf: Joey why mai?
Joey: cos shes a dirty street slut
Mai: you say that like its a bad thing
Smurf: tristan why preston?
Tristan: cos he keeps *beep spitting on me the little bitch!!
Smurf: okkkkk well with 3 votes you are the weakest link bakura... goodbye
Bakura: bye [waves uncontrolably]
Smurf: [signals for gaurds] take em away boys
Smurf: be sure to tune in again for round 2
Backstage
Bakura: i hope tea is the next to leave
Interviewer: whys that?
Bakura: i dont know!!! [pretends to fly around room]