I couldn't begin to tell you how many times I've come to this bar just to see her. I'm not a drinker. I don't stay out late. I'm in a committed relationship. I don't feel like this is where I should be…
But, I need to see her…
I could probably go to the Diner every day. See her in a quieter environment. One will less people, less fog of smoke and alcohol, but then she would see me. She would know I was staring at her. She always knew…
But, I'm not allowed to do that anymore…
She's moved on….
I don't blame her. I'm the one who walked away. I left her. That's why I don't understand why I continue to torture myself. It was my decision.
It was the stupidest decision I have ever made…
I watch her as she slides an empty bottle from one hand to the other. I can't help but smile. The look of concentration on her face is beyond adorable. She blows her hair away from her face and I can see her more clearly…
She's so beautiful. She is forever beautiful…
It's taking everything I have not to walk over to her. To tell her I'm sorry. I loved her. The curse allowed me to show her how much, but when it broke, it pulled me away. I had to return to who I was before….
Even though I didn't truly want to…
But, she's moved on… it doesn't matter now….
I see her head raise, her brow creases as she looks in my direction. Oh God, does she see me? She smiles and I feel my heart skip. I love her smile. I miss it.
She stands. Unconsciously, I stand as well. I feel my feet moving before I can stop them. I'm walking toward her…
Stop!
I don't want her to see me!
Then it happens and I freeze…
Her smile widens as she reaches out for someone. The woman practically jumps in her arms, hugging her tightly. I see her laugh as she wraps her arms tighter around the other woman. My heart begins to sink into my stomach as the scene plays out in front of me…
The librarian.
I had never seen her before the curse, but when it broke, she appeared from nowhere. I had walked by the Diner the day they met. I saw the way she looked at her when they spoke. I knew, from that brief encounter, that I had lost her forever…
I watch as she touches her face. It was the same way she used to touch mine, her hazel eyes dancing over her features.
She used to look at me that way…
That beautiful smile spreads as she brushes her hair gently away from her face. She leans in slowly and kisses her. I feel like someone reached into my chest and ripped out my heart…
Now I know how she felt when she saw us together again. I know the pain. I feel the stabbing in my chest. The dizziness from lack of air….
I feel broken…
I do my best to regain my senses and turn to leave. The room is spinning. I have to get out of here. I move quickly, unable to focus on my surroundings.
And, then, I run right into him…
"Woah, Snow, are you okay?"
I snap from my daze and look at him. "David, what are you doing here?"
"I was looking for you…" He looks at me strangely. "Emma said she saw you come in here. This isn't exactly your usual place so I just…"
I can see the concern in his eyes. I do my best to smile and place my hand on his chest. "I'm fine." I shrug. "I've heard so much about this place. I just wanted to see what all what fuss was about."
He flashes that crooked smile and I know that he believes me. "Well, you want to stay and have a drink?"
I shake my head in protest. "Let's just go home." I loop my arm through his as we walk toward the door.
I don't know what made me pause. But, something did. It was like a silent call of my name, requesting a brief moment of my attention. I turn my head and my eyes meet hers. I feel my breath catch as we keep eye contact for what seemed like an eternity…
She smiles warmly at me from across the room, raising her hand in a short wave. Before I can stop myself, I smile back. Then, I return her wave. She nods, looking down briefly, before returning her attention to her new love….
"Change your mind?"
His voice brings me back and I look at him. I smile. "No, let's go home."
As we walk out of the bar, I leave my regret behind. I leave everything behind. I will always love her, but now I know what I did was right…
She's truly happy and that's all I ever wanted her to be…..