I own nothing from NCIS and make no money from this story! If I did own them there would be some massive changes! I am simply borrowing them for a bit and returning them happier and in better condition than when I found them.
A huge thanks goes to my most excellent Beta-Amy- without whom this would not be as polished! Kudos to her for her great work and wanting to work with a nut like me! Trust me! There is much love to her! She also feeds the bunnies some massive happy food since they keep appearing.
Come by my facebook page- always a riot! Sometimes great eye candy as well! Facebook./gibbsandtonysbabe Always happy to have you drop by!
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This is a bunny brought on by my awesome Beta Amy...blame her!
Tony looked across the bullpen at Gibbs, wondering if he had the strength to make his ultimatum. God help him it wasn't what he wanted to do, but things couldn't keep on the way going the way they were. He needed and deserved more.
Right now, he felt that he was a dirty secret; Jethro didn't want to admit that he was in a relationship with him. Part of him that knew it wasn't completely true, but his actions seemed to show otherwise. No one knew they were seeing one another. They rarely spent the night together, and they never went out in public.
Tony wanted a real relationship with Jethro and this was anything but. He didn't doubt the feelings Jethro had for him, he wasn't stingy with words when they were together, but it wasn't enough. After coming to that realization, he was hesitant to share with him what he truly wanted, no - needed. If he was brushed off or ignored, did he have the strength to let the man go? Tony chuckled bitterly; he never thought that he would be the one who wanted it all.
After years of hiding his feelings for the older man, never believing a relationship would be possible, here he was contemplating breaking up with him and having to set him free. How fucked up was that?
***Flashback***
"Where did Gibbs go? I found a lead." Tony looked around the bullpen at McGee.
"Don't know. He grabbed his coat and gun and ran out of here."
"Did he say where?"
"No." McGee looked at the screen trying to remember exactly what they had been going over while Tony was tracking down a lead.
"I was telling him about a phone call that Petty Officer Jacobs received from Captain Lestrange on the day she died. Gibbs stared at the screen for a moment and then ran out."
Tony pointed to the plasma screen. "Was this what he was staring at?"
McGee glanced at the display. "Yes."
Tony walked closer and looked at the records displayed trying to piece together what Gibbs may have seen. And then he saw it, Lestrange had called Jacobs and it had been in close proximity to Ducky's estimated time of death.
"I think he went to question the Captain again. Damn it why didn't he take back up?"
"Don't know Tony, maybe he didn't think about it. You know how he gets when a child is involved. Jacob's daughter is still missing."
"It's no excuse Probie."
McGee held up his hands in surrender. "Hey, I'm not disagreeing Tony."
Tony sighed. "I know. Where would the Captain be right now?"
Tim looked at the clock. ""Home more than likely; we didn't track his movements so that is my best guess."
"Ok, I'm going to head that way so I can wring Gibbs' neck."
Tim chuckled. "Good luck with that."
Tony grabbed his gun mumbling under his breath as he walked towards the elevator. 'Damn fool what the hell was he thinking? Need a leash on him.'
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Driving to the Captain's home, Tony hoped Gibbs wasn't walking into a situation that was more than he was prepared for. The man damn well knew better than to walk into a suspect's house without back up. Maybe it was time to remind the bastard, after he killed him of course.
Coming to a quick stop behind Gibbs' car he quickly got out and made his way to the house with his hand on his gun. What he saw when he looked into the window made his blood run cold. The older man was lying on the floor, gun in hand, surrounded by blood from what appeared to be a head wound.
Pulling out his phone, he called McGee.
"McGee, get back up to Lestrange's house."
"Yes! He's here, on the ground with a possible head wound – just do it!"
"I can't tell if he's breathing. I'm going in, just get here ASAP."
"Can't wait Probie, he needs help. Call for a bus". Tony disconnected the call and began going from window to window trying to ascertain how many people were in the house. The Captain was the only other person he could see from the outside. Deciding that the element of surprise was in his favor, he quietly picked the lock on the back door and silently headed to the front living room.
Captain Lestrange was pacing back and forth with a disturbed look on his face, every now and then casting a glance down at the man on the floor.
Tony couldn't see a weapon but wasn't going to take any chances. He edged as close to the living room entrance as he dared, fearing that getting any closer, he would be noticed. Tony took stock of the room and looked for anything that could be used as a weapon.
Walking into the living room his gun pulled and aimed at the Captain, he intoned "Captain Lestrange NCIS. I need you to lie on the floor and lace your fingers behind your head."
The captain turned to Tony. "Why?"
"Do it NOW." Tony's eyes never left the Captain as he watched every move the man made.
"Fine. This is all a mistake. I haven't done anything wrong." He lowered his body to the ground slowly and placed his hands behind his head as directed.
Tony quickly cuffed him and searched for weapons. Finding a Glock in his pants pocket he snarked, "Funny; this is the same type of gun that killed Petty Officer Jacobs. Still want to tell me you've done nothing wrong?" Walking over to Gibbs while keeping his gun trained on Lestrange, he bent down and felt for a pulse. Relief flooded him as he felt a slow but steady pulse beneath his finger tips. 'Thank God' Tony whispered. He heard the screech of tires and knew that Ziva and McGee had arrived; the ambulance couldn't be too far behind.
McGee and Ziva walked in with their guns drawn and saw Tony with his gun trained on the Captain and one hand on Gibbs.
"What happened?"
"Don't know what happened with Gibbs, he's been unconscious since I arrived." Gesturing to the man on the floor, "He's cuffed, that Glock on the coffee table I took out of his pocket. Haven't searched the inside of the house, only did a perimeter before I entered after I noticed Gibbs on the floor."
"Call for a car to take the Captain to lock up. Start a search of the house and process the scene. Don't know if he's involved with the missing child, but until we know different, we need to believe that he is. Get the gun to Abby and see if she can match it to the bullet that killed Petty Officer Jacobs."
McGee nodded. "You going to ride with Gibbs?"
"Yes. Need to make sure he is going to be all right and when he wakes up, take his statement." Turning to talk to Ziva, he saw she on her phone calling for a car and help with the scene. Hearing the sirens, they all breathed a sigh of relief. The EMT personnel quickly came in and began to assess Gibbs' condition.
"Do you know who he is?"
"He's Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs from NCIS. I'm Agent DiNozzo." Tony watched his green eyes filled with worry. "How is he?" He whispered.
"Don't see any wound other than the one at his temple. Pulse is strong as is his heartbeat. That's about all I can tell you until we get a CAT scan. Do you know who his medical proxy is?"
"I am." Tony answered. "I'll be riding along."
"Alright. Let's get him loaded up."
Tony handed his keys to McGee before climbing into the ambulance.
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Tony sat in the hard plastic chair waiting for word on Gibbs. He hadn't regained consciousness yet, at least as of the last time he saw him when he was being wheeled away for tests. But now he was stuck in a chair lost in his own thoughts; thoughts he wasn't ready to examine.
Seeing Gibbs lying on the floor, not knowing whether he was alive or dead caused a lot of things that he had buried to surface. He wasn't ready to face them or share them but sometimes it didn't matter; time waited for no one. They weren't thoughts that he wanted, well not about his hetero boss anyway. He wasn't ready to share all parts of his life with everyone.
He wasn't ashamed, but being in law enforcement, he had seen what being to open with your sexuality could do. Times were changing, but change didn't happen overnight. Abby knew he was bi- but only because she caught him out on a date. She understood his need to keep things private and never spoke of it.
He was nowhere near ready to admit his attraction to Gibbs. Not in this lifetime. He valued his life. But he wasn't certain he could keep it buried anymore. The sight of Gibbs on the floor was a huge reality check and he knew he was more than just attracted to the man, he had fallen for him. This did not bode well.
Hearing the door open he spotted Gibbs being wheeled down the hall. He stood and moved towards them, wanting to see the man and hopefully ease some worry. The nurse seeing quickly filled him in.
"Agent DiNozzo, the doctor will be in to see you both as soon as he reads the results. He is in the process of looking at them right now. Agent Gibbs did regain consciousness briefly during his CAT scan and was able to answer several questions correctly. He will be admitted and you of course will be able to stay."
"Thank you." By the time she had finished filling Tony in Gibbs had been set up in the room and was sleeping. Tony pulled up a chair and sat by the bed.
"Damn you Gibbs. What the hell were you thinking? Why can't you follow your own damn rules? Do you have any idea what I felt when I looked in the window and saw you lying on the floor? You didn't look like you were moving and I didn't know if you were dead or alive." Tony ran his hands through his hair in nervous agitation. Standing up, he began to pace as the thoughts raced through his head.
"All the things I didn't want to think about, all the things I had never planned to say are all in the forefront of my mind. How the hell am I supposed to hold this in and ignore it? I'm so tired; tired of fighting it, tired of pretending that I'm not attracted to you and so fucking tired of hiding who I am."
"Yes, that is my fault so don't think that I am blaming anyone but me but that doesn't make me less tired. And it sure as hell doesn't give me a magical way to put the damn genie back in the bottle." Tony sat back down in the chair his elbows on his knees and placed his head in his hands. The worry, frustration, and overall anxiety were catching up with him.
He had no idea how long he sat like that when he felt a hand on his head. Startled he looked up into very lucid clear blue eyes.
"Don't even think about running Tony. Just get that thought right out of your head."
Shit. How much had Gibbs heard?
"All of it Tony."
"How the hell do you do that? And for the records it's damn irritating."
"Stop trying to change the subject."
"What do you want from me Boss? I can't and won't take it back. Question is what do you want me to do about it?"
"Be lying if I said I wasn't surprised."
"Understand that."
"But I would also be lying if I said that I wasn't interested. Maybe there are things about both of us that we kept hidden." Gibbs took a deep breath. "I would like us to explore this; it seems to be something that we have both thought about. We could take it slow and see where it goes."
"What about rule 12?"
"There was a time that was needed; maybe it's time to reevaluate."
"Friends?"
"Keep it between us for now, not ready to tell the world."
"For now. But if we make a go of this at some point I don't want to hide it."
"Ok…at some point in the future." Tony smiled.
"So are we dating now Boss?"
"Jethro and yes."
***End Flashback***
Tony sighed as the memory washed over him. That was just over two years ago. And it was time, time for those that mattered to share in their lives. He was tired of lying, hiding, and pretending that he had no one. And as much as he loved the man and God knew he did, he just couldn't do this anymore.
He held on to the hope that maybe, just maybe, this time Jethro agree with him and he could continue his life with the man he loved, because this time, for better or worse, he wasn't backing down.