a/n: this is pretty stupid oneshot that i planned out as a 4 part and now i can't finish but i have a percabeth chapter already done lmao ignore me sorry


Counseling


It was when Leo thought he swallowed a bottle cap that Annabeth decided everyone should take grief counseling.

For obvious reasons, most of her offers were declined, but people seemed to forget that Annabeth Chase never gets "no" for an answer. Percy caved in first, and the rest soon followed.

"We will take sessions in two, and since there are only seven of us, one of us will have to go alone."

Jason was the one to have the individual session. No one really questioned his decision, and if there really was a reason, no one was bothered enough to pry.

Frank and Hazel, Annabeth and Percy, and Jason and Jason. That left Piper to double-team with Leo.

The two gave each other small smiles, but never said anything beyond a greeting anymore.

Their first "appointment" was at 11 at night, just because it worked out best for everyone's schedule. Piper arrived at the tiny room in the Big House at 11:32 because she thought she heard something at the back of her cabin and refused to go outside. (Lacy assured her it was just the wind.)

None addressed it when she came in, half-buttoned shirt and unbraided hair.

"Are we ready to start?"

The counselor was not much of a counselor herself. An older Apollo kid, maybe, with light hair and a sparkly smile. She smelled like cheesecake and muffins.

Piper shrugged in reply from the chair where she sat, while Leo said nothing as he laid on the room floor, counting the wooden panels on the ceiling (there were thirty-four).

"How about we start with some exercises?" The girl said. "For every truth you tell about your life, you get a piece of candy!" She jiggled a bag of hard candy left over from Halloween next to her.

Leo sat up and his eyes met with Piper's. They agreed, silently, to humor her.

"My dad had to do a dirty alley scene in one of his movies and he brought me along set." Hands out. Pink candy.

"I didn't mean it when I told everyone I ate the bottle cap." Blue candy, and a tiny punch from Piper.

"I had a cat once but I forgot about it so I think it ran away. His name was Jerry." Another blue candy.

"I didn't run away six times. I'm pretty sure it was ten." Red candy.

"It sucks that demigods can't go on Facebook." Another pink candy.

"I just want to play video games for the rest of my life." Another blue.

Perky told them to continue, only to talk about their lives before camp. She looked annoyed, but still held up a grin that made Piper want to punch her. And that was unfortunate, because Piper was sure Smiley was a nice girl outside counseling. Everyone was nicer outside counseling.

"I lived in India and came here in the witness protection program." A hesitant yellow candy.

"I'm from the tropics. I'm a CIA agent spy." No candy.

"I think this is pointless and stupid." No candy.

"I second that." No candy.

As time went by, Blondie's smile withered away to a patient frown. They verbally protested against any physical activities (i.e., the trust fall), and vehemently disputed against any secret sharing at all. Was this even how counseling was supposed to be? Games?

"Okay," the girl said. "Say the first thing that comes to your mind when I say a word. Fish."

"Percy," Piper offered.

"Food," Leo said.

"And elephant?"

"Frank," Piper said.

"Peanuts," Leo said.

"Your names? Piper and Leo?"

"Perfection."

"Smokin'."

They giggled at each other's responses, and the counselor sighed.

The last few minutes of their session came to a close, as they were only an hour and a half each. It was still longer than they would've liked, and it ending at 12:30 am wasn't exactly ideal.

"Alright," The Apollo kid said. "Questions? Okay, questions."

Leo looked suspicious, and he had a right to be. "What are you gonna tell Chiron and Annabeth after this?"

"Nothing, of course. Only if there's anything serious," she replied. "Warning signs of harm to yourselves or others, suicidal thoughts or actions, etcetera."

Leo never met anyone who actually used the word etcetera outside of paper.

"Whatever," Piper said. "Can we just get this over with? I want this day to be over."

They left the cabin in a hurry and ran back to their cabins, hoping not to run into any harpies. They held each other's hands going back just because they didn't like being alone in the dark.

"What do you think?" Leo asked when they were in front of her cabin. "About the counseling thing?"

"It's pretty dumb." She shrugged.

He nodded. "Yeah, I know. So, see you there again tomorrow?"

"Definitely."


They confronted her at 10:59 pm.

"We don't need you anymore."

"I think it's best if we handle this by ourselves."

The girl, whose name they still hadn't bothered to remember, frowned and said some things about qualifications and Annabeth and Chiron.

Piper waved her hand around like she'd seen women in movies do all the time to dismiss people. "It's okay, we got it covered."

They didn't.

"Your assistance was nice, while it lasted. And I bet you don't even wanna do this, do you?" Leo asked her. "I mean, a pretty girl like you, hanging with a bunch of losers on a Friday night?"

The girl kinda blushed at the "pretty girl" comment and said, "You two aren't losers…"

But they ignored her and kept urging her to go away. The sessions would be a lot easier without Girlie hovering. Not that they'd do any "counseling" anyway.

"All-all right." She finally agreed. They inwardly whoop-ed. "But I'll leave all my material in the room for you two to work over. And if I get in any trouble for this—"

Leo answered. "It'll be on us. Don't worry."

It was like somehow, Piper's charmspeak was transferred to Leo. He always said he wasn't good with people, but Piper thought he had a way with them anyway. Without charmspeak, her talking at all would be completely useless.

The girl bit her lip and after a moment, smiled. At Leo, not Piper. "Thank you." She left the Big House in a tizzy, as if afraid Chiron would pop up any moment and shame her. They couldn't blame her.

"I hope a harpy doesn't see her," Piper said. "It'd be a shame for a pretty girl like her, you know."

Leo shot her an annoyed look. "Hey."

She shrugged. "You were the one flirting with her. She's kind of out of your league—"

Piper burst out sobbing and fell to the floor, and Leo, struck silent, didn't move. She buried her face into her palms and moaned, maybe muttering something incoherent.

"Pipes?"

She did the wavey thing with her hand again. Her voice was muffled. "I'm sorry, Valdez. It'll go away in a minute."

And it did, eventually. She wiped her eyes with her hand and stood up shakily. It freaked out Leo to the max, but he really didn't know what to say.

"Do…do you want to go to the infirmary?"

Smiling up at him, she said no and approached the only couch in the room. As startled as he was, he couldn't help but notice her hair was still unbraided and her blouse unbuttoned like yesterday. She had bags under her eyes but not once did she mention not being able to sleep, and that's how he knew she wasn't as sane as she depicted to be. Although, not many people were anymore.

"Are you okay?" He asked her.

Her eyes said that she was fine and that he didn't have to worry, so he didn't.

She reached out and her fingers dug into his shirt to pull him next to her on the seat. "Why did we even agree to this?"

He felt her head rest on his shoulder. They used to be the same height, but apparently his body didn't like that and shot up a couple inches. He still wasn't taller than Jason, though.

"We didn't have a choice."

"Why don't we have any of those anymore? Choices? Did we even have them in the first place?"

Leo smiled to himself, maybe bitterly. "Those are deep questions."

There were the papers and bags for the counseling session still laid at the bottom of the seat, which Leo picked up with his foot.

"You have the dexterity of a monkey." Piper said.

He grabbed the bag of candy and laid them on his lap, but didn't open it.

"Wanna play a game?" He asked her. They had less than an hour and a half to blow off.

Piper shrugged and still kept her head on his side. "Sure."

"A candy for a truth," he said. "Keep it clean, McLean."

She did a mock salute and picked up a red candy. As she sucked on the hard candy (watermelon), she thought for a while.

"Jason wasn't my first kiss."

Leo grinned and picked up a green piece of candy. "I had my first kiss."

Piper lifted her head and frowned. "That's not a truth. It's a fact."

"No difference," he said.

"Who was it?"

Leo paused. "I dunno. Forgot."

Piper's frown was even deeper than the counselor girl's. "You forgot your first kiss?"

"Well, Juno slash Hera hasn't really done anything to magically restore our memories, has she?"

"Maybe we should remind her."

"But do we really want that?" Leo asked her.

"I—I don't really…" Her voice drifted off. She picked another candy and played with its wrapper. "Our memories. You said ours."

"It's true, though. You don't remember everything before Jason popped up, right?"

Piper looked at him through her color changing eyes, and he stared back. "Did we ever kiss each other?"

It was a question they had both probably wanted to ask at some point, but spoken aloud, it was almost silly. Like a kid asking if there really was a monster under his bed.

Leo smiled slowly, and Piper, for once, couldn't read him. "I can't remember."

Piper looked at the candy she picked and said, "I think we should play another game."


"Our names," Leo said. "Let's say the first word we think of when our names are said."

Piper rolled her eyes. "Fine. But stop with the fire puns or I'll pinch you."

"Leo Valdez," Leo said. "Hazard."

"Piper McLean," Piper countered. "Failure."

They laughed, and they didn't really know if it was the ironic kind of laugh, either.

"Isn't it kind of weird when you say your own name out loud?" Piper asked him. Her legs were laid across his lap and she was left to stare at the same ceiling he stared at yesterday.

"Yeah. I hate introducing myself. I say Valdez, and my accent comes out."

"Not really," Piper said. "I think it's kind of endearing."

There was a long time when they said nothing, and Leo left his hand sitting on Piper's, and that didn't bother anyone.

"You're not a failure, Beauty Queen."

"And you're not a hazard, Repair Boy."

They stayed like that for a long time and only left the Big House at 1:12 am.

Counseling, they could handle. Like anything else the universe threw at them.