Chapter One – OK, What Now?
Summary: Bella/Jacob. AU, all human. Edward leaves Bella after Charlie died. Now Bella has no one. No one except her best friend since she can remember, Jacob Black. After a chance encounter at a party, will she be able to tear down her walls and accept love from the one person she knows she can trust? Or will she stay completely oblivious? Rated M for later chapters.
A/N: Hey everyone! I'm Steff. This is my first Twilight story, so forgive me if it sucks out loud. I wanted to take my shot at writing an AU, and I wanted a shot at writing a Bella/Jacob fic. Before you ask, I am actually on Team Edward, but am in the process of weighing my options. I hope you guys enjoy this! Please, review, it will prompt me to write faster!! I appreciate constructive criticism, but please, no bashing my story. For my own sanity, I've disabled anonymous reviews, feel free to leave me comments on how to improve! Thanks and I hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Stephanie Meyer. We have the same name, unfortunately that's the only thing of hers I have rights to. Oh, and the song in this chapter is Slipped Away by Avril Lavigne.
Chapter One: Empty Memories(just an intro, to see if you guys want me to write more)
BPOV(Dream)
I thrashed out and held his hand, desperately pleading with him to stay with me, I couldn't lose him now! The doctors hovered around him, resuscitating, pushing, yelling, injecting. Everything they could do. But it just wasn't enough. I knew this nightmare, and luckily for me, it was all coming to an end. I braced myself for the sentence that would wake me up from this madness.
"I'm sorry Bella, there's nothing more I can do, we've tried everything"
That was it. I woke up with a start, and clutched at my blankets.
I'll never forget that day. The day everything I knew and loved was ripped away from me with one sentence. The day where the world as I knew it went from good, to bad, to unbearable.
The day my father died.
Charlie and I had never been ridiculously close, and I could still remember that period of my life where I put him through all that trouble, when I didn't care who he was. He always stuck by my side, even when I tried to push him away with everything I had. He was always there, and now, he would never be there again. I never hated Charlie, but I, like all nineteen year olds I knew, had my phases where I hated my parents with everything I was. Now, all the hatred was simply a memory, and all that remained was the one sentence replaying again and again in my head. Now he was gone, and despite everything I wanted, I couldn't bring him back. Just my luck, as a sad song drifted through my stereo. It was another reflection day, and I sat in my room, listening to music, and grabbed a book attempting to flip through it, not really comprehending the words, just thinking about everything that had happened to me. Charlie and Edward, gone in the blink of an eye. I hummed along as a single tear slipped out of my eye.
I miss you, I miss you so bad
I won't forget you...Oh, it's so sad
I Hope you can hear me, I remember it clearly
The day, you, slipped away
Was the day, I found it won't be the same
I wiped it quickly away and changed the CD while I continued to contemplate and try to remember how my life had gone down so quickly.
Edward hadn't helped me much either. Edward Cullen, who I thought was the love of my life. I'd given everything to him. He had taken my heart, taken my soul, I'd given myself to him, just weeks before everything came undone. But once Charlie was gone, it was like it was all a bitter memory to him as well. Mourning my loss became a daily routine, and apparently he just couldn't take it. I will admit, he tried. Tried taking me out, tried staying in, nothing would help. Eventually, he just left. Short and sweet, as not to cause me any more pain. Unknown to him, it didn't affect quite as much as he had hoped, it was just one more reason why my life couldn't get any worse.
So it had to get better from here right?
I certainly hoped so. I was kind of glad, I did have one thing I could hold on to. My greatest ally in this obviously bleak time period.
Jacob Black. My trusted friend ever since I started visiting Charlie in Forks every summer, back when I was little. It had been a quick blossoming friendship, and at points the summers couldn't come fast enough. He was always there for me, and when I moved to Forks permanently after my mom ditched me for that abusive low-life Phil, he was there to greet me with open arms.
I couldn't run to Renee anymore either, she was gone, just like Charlie. She wasn't dead, but she may as well have been. She didn't even come to Charlie's funeral, just a quick e-mail, expressing her 'sincerest condolences'. What a load of shit. I stopped talking to her after that. To me, she was dead. It was a grim prospect, especially at the prospect of my own mother, but if she could abandon me at a time like this, it didn't really anyways.
But I digress. Back to Jacob. I'd always stayed impossibly close to him, and when my life hit the rocks, he was my life preserver. He stayed there and guarded me like an older brother through everything, even though he was technically younger than me. He was huge. His dark russet skin and deep brown eyes. His dark hair that always shimmered in the light, and his deep defined muscles, made him every bit the intimidating big brother. He wasn't related to me, but he was the closest I could get to a big brother. I was an only child, but I would take what I could get. He stayed by me through everything, first boyfriend; Mike Newton, what a mistake...First break-up and post break-up stalking. He was there to protect me from it all. I'd never seen anyone break someone's arm for me like that.
Another sad song, I switched the track, now dwelling on the happy memory of Jacob breaking Mike's arm when he caught him trying to break into my bedroom.
Then Edward came around, my entire life shifted perspective. Who would have though, dull boring Bella Swan, falling in love with, and being loved by, absolutely stunning, drop dead gorgeous Edward Cullen? It was almost unreal. Such a whirlwind romance, I thought I was in heaven. It was like my own person brand of heroine. The way his topaz eyes would always smolder when he wanted his way, the way his messy, unkempt bronze hair always looked stunning, and the way he loved me so unconditionally, or so I thought. Now they were all reminders of what being abandoned felt like. Charlie didn't abandon me, but Edward sure as hell did. That grim night in April, Charlie and Edward, gone. He said he couldn't handle me anymore, I was too 'bi-polar' for him.
His loss. Oh well, I wasn't going to let it tear at me like some gaping hole in my chest. It wasn't like I would have to see him every day. It wasn't going to be awkward anymore. Last I heard, he had taken his stupid silver Volvo and moved away with his family. Good riddance.
Again, Jacob was there to pick up the shattered remains of my heart. He was like my personal sun in my time of darkness, he was always there to shine through the clouds of grief and keep me off the edge. He stayed with me every night afterwards. Obviously in another room, but it was comforting. I would wake up in the middle of the night, crying or screaming from a nightmare, and he would always be there, stroking my hair, whispering in my ear that everything would be fine. He would hold me until I fell asleep again and kept checking on me through the night. It was the little things he would do that would keep me sane. I think I would have gone crazy if it hadn't been for Jacob. The house would have been too empty without him there, with no one to cook for, no one to expect at the end of my day. I was all alone, but Jacob was there to ease the pain. It was almost as if he never left my side. I was so grateful for him.
It was June now, it had been a whole two months. Two months since I had lost my parents, since I had lost Edward, since my life came crashing down on me. But they seemed to be easier with Jacob around. My personal sun, now a permanent and integral part of my survival.
It was summer vacation. I knew what that meant, a whole two months without school to distract me. Two whole months to wallow in everything. Jacob wasn't going to allow it I'm sure, but it would take a lot from me to keep it together.
I was getting better though, slowly but surely, I was getting better. Days were seeming to pass by with clarity now, not just a blur with no sense of time, as they had been before. I started seeing things again, started focusing on what was going on around me. The heavy haze was coming away from my eyes, and I saw the future ahead of me. A long summer, but an endurable one. One Jacob said he would spend with me. I was eternally grateful for my best friend, and knew that it wouldn't be totally horrible without him around.
His enthusiasm stuck with me, and I couldn't help being excited about what was to come in the next couple months. He didn't give anything away, but he did have plans for our summer. Starting tonight. We were going to Jessica's end of the school year party, and I had to admit, I was excited. Jacob had convinced me to go shopping with Rosalie and Alice, my best friends, and give them a chance to pick my outfit.
Alice and Rosalie were more than happy to oblige. I loved these two. They had stuck by me through everything too, seeing as they were over at my house frequently, they knew Charlie too, and were there to share in my pain. Only for a while though, and not the the extent Jacob was there. But when I finally came around, they were by my side as faithful as ever, and I was relieved. It would be good to get some social exposure. So we went shopping and got my killer outfit for tonight.
I wasn't one to dress up, but Alice would have none of it. Since it was a casual party, they helped me pick out some dark wash, boot cut blue jeans, and a sexy red off the shoulder baby doll top, as well as brand new knee high leather boots. Hooker boots, lovely. They complimented the outfit, so I wouldn't complain. A silver heart necklace and hoop earrings accented my look, as well as some hair and make-up tips from Rosalie, and I was good to go. I had a few more hours to go until I got dressed, but I was excited none the less. Alice and Rosalie had grudgingly agreed to let me get ready alone, since I wasn't ready to have anyone other than Jacob over. They had agreed, and would meet me there. Jacob was driving me there, so I figured I may as well enjoy myself while I had the chance. He had agreed to be my 'date' and I had giggled uncontrollably when he sat me down to dinner and actually asked me. Leave it to Jacob to make jokes.
At that though, my cell phone rang. Charlie had left me a lot of money, and had paid off the mortgage on the house, so I had figured it wouldn't hurt to invest in a new cellphone. My old one was ancient and dying anyways. I heard my custom ring tone, Check Yes Juliet, by We the Kings, come on, and knew immediately it was Jacob. He had his own ring tone and his own picture, so it wasn't hard to recognize him.
I took a moment to admire the picture of him on the front, it was him with a warm smile, his hair gently blowing in the wind, the first time I had left the house sine Charlie had passed away. We had gone for a walk on the beach. He didn't say anything, just held my hand as we walked, and let me do all the talking. It had been a great day, and I'm glad I had this picture to remember.
I slid the phone up to answer and held it up to my ear eagerly. He had only left me a few hours ago, when I had woken up and gotten settled, but I missed him already...
"Hey Jake! What's up?" I said enthusiastically.
"Hey sweetheart, nothings up, just called to see how you're doing, make sure you'll still good for tonight" He replied, obviously with a smile on his face.
He was so endearing, always calling me sweetheart, or hunny, or something cute like that. I appreciated it, although I never told him.
"Of course, I'm really glad I let you talk me into this, although, I could have done without Rosalie and Alice, mind you, I do appreciate their advice. I would never have been able to pick out such a great outfit without them..." I trailed off on the last part. He knew I hated shopping, but he felt I needed some girl time. Besides, they were like sisters to me anyways.
"I know, and I'm sure you'll look great in whatever you wear. Time for big brother protection mode. Gotta keep those boys off you" He chuckled, and I laughed with him.
It was so easy to laugh with Jacob. He calmed me, made me feel better about everything. So light and care free. I would never ever thank him enough. He knew how much he meant to me, and I knew how much I meant to him. He was everything in my life, and I was so thankful.
"Good to hear, my date is gonna keep me safe" I laughed. He murmured in agreement and we slipped in our usual conversations about summer plans and next year and everything else. Before I had realized it, a whole hour and a half had passed. Like I said, it was so easy to talk to Jacob. I trailed off before realizing I only had two hours to get ready for the party. Jacob interrupted my train of thought.
"Damn Bells, hate to cut this off but dad needs me for something, and you gotta go get ready. We all know how long it takes you to get your butt out of the bathroom" He laughed again, a mocking tone in his voice.
I stuck out my tongue, even though I knew he couldn't see it. He continued laughing as I sarcastically fumed on the other end of the phone. He composed himself enough for me to break through his fit of laughter.
"Very funny kid, be here at six, we'll have dinner then get out of here." I muttered, still resenting the comment.
He laughed it off, and agreed, before we exchanged our goodbyes quickly, while Jacob's dad, Billy, yelled in the background. He laughed once and hung up before I ran off to start getting ready for the party.
My first step was to jump in the shower. I went to my room and grabbed my waterproof speakers, my i Pod, and sauntered to the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and started running the water while I set up my speakers. Since there was no one else in the house, I turned them up full blast, so I could hear them over the running water, and put on Muse. The first song to come through was "Time is Running Out" and I started singing along, matching the singer, only an octave higher. I quickly discarded my clothes in the steadily building pile of clothes in the laundry hamper, and stepped into the shower.
I let the water run down my back before grabbing my favorite body wash, it was freesia and vanilla scented, and I knew Jacob liked the scent. Seeing as I was spending the night with him, may as well. As the liquid gently exfoliated my skin I sang along with my music, as the track switched from Muse, to Bass hunter. I was glad for the upbeat techno and was singing along loud and clear. I washed my hair with my strawberries and scream shampoo and basked in its scent while the hot water ran down my body. After that, strawberries and cream conditioner, then I was good to go. I grabbed the towel from the rack and wrapped it around my body, and grabbed my razer. I quickly shaved my legs and wrapped my hair in another towel as I walked back to my room. That only took me half an hour.
I changed into my outfit slowly and walked off as I went to start on the process of hair and makeup. This will be fun, I think.
I started with the easier part first. I blow dried and straightened my hair, and brushed out all the unruly tangles, until it laid pin straight against my hair. Next, I took my hair and pulled it into a low pony tail as Alice had shown me. I took the huge banana clip I had bought at the mall and used it to pin my ponytail up about halfway, so the remainder hung over and fanned out along the back. I swept my bangs to either side and used a crimping iron to wave them before nodding to myself in approval. A little hair spray to keep everything in place, and I was finished.
Hair. Check. That took me a whole 15 minutes. Wow.
Next was makeup. Rosalie told me to go for the smoky eyes look. So I did. I started with a foundation and cover up to even out my skin, then moved onto my eyes. I took little bit of dark black eyeliner, and smudged it around my eyes, trying to look sultry. I looked in the mirror, and apparently it worked. Next I moved on to the red powder Rosalie had forced me to buy, to match the shirt. I will admit, it was a sexy compliment to an already sexy outfit. I brushed it along my eyelids, then some silver along the top for accent. I admired my self in the mirror, and applied a little bit of mascara to make my eyes pop just a little bit more, before prying myself away from the mirror to finish my look.
I walked back to my room and grabbed the necklace Alice had bought, as well as the hoop earrings and diamond earrings she had bought for both of my piercings in my eyes. I put everything on and admired myself once again in the mirror. Damn girl, sexy. I thought to myself with a hint of cockiness. I hadn't dressed up in a long time, and it felt good. I should do it more often. I checked my clock quickly and saw that Jacob would be here in half an hour. I went downstairs to start on a quick dinner for two.
I knew Jacob loved spaghetti, so I figured that was what I would make. I started with the noodles and ground beef, and had everything ready to go in 20 minutes. For an extra treat, I dug some pre-made garlic bread out of the freezer, sprinkled it with Cheddar and Parmesan cheese and put it in the oven to toast until it was a golden brown. As I was pulling it out of the oven, I heard the door bell.
He was here. Good!
I beckoned him in, and he walked into the kitchen carrying a bottle of Pepsi, our favorite, and a box I couldn't read. I looked at him with a confused expression and he opened the box to reveal a chocolate ice cream pie, courtesy of our family friend, Sue Clearwater.
"I brought dessert" he said sheepishly and brought it over to the counter, setting it down before inhaling the scents in the kitchen.
I brought him to the table and served him his dinner as he dug in gratefully. I brought my own helping to the table as well as the garlic bread, and we ate in comfortable silence. Afterwards, we cut into the ice cream cake and managed to eat almost half of it, before realizing we were going to be late. I quickly grabbed my purse and cell phone, and we jumped into his Black Chrysler 300. I loved his car, but I would admit, I missed my truck. It died shortly after Charlie did, and I was sad to see it go. But I had a new car on its way, once I got the papers.
We raced off to the party, with music so loud it was impossible to talk over. It was fun though, Jacob and I sang the entire way there. For the first time in a long time, my mind was clear of everything. Tonight was all about having fun and letting go.
A/N: Well there's your first chapter! I hope you enjoy it. Next chapter will be Jacob's POV of the Party, possibly mixed with a little bit of Bella. Please review! I don't want to continue this story if no one is reading it! I'm aiming for at least 5 reviews before I post the next chapter which will hopefully be in the next few days! Please please please review!! I love you all!