A/N: I decided, on a whim, to sign up for the Twi25 Round II. I'm just a little worried I may have bitten off more than I can chew but hopefully this will be a fun way to test my writing skills and push myself to try some new things. I went the multi-chaptered route so there will be 25 chapters, each inspired by one of the prompts provided. You can find more info on the Twi25 at community(dot)livejournal(dot)com/thetwilight25/

Grateful thanks to Betham for her fabulous red pen skills and to Vanpirenz who leaves me the most encouraging comments and makes me a better writer.


The Twilight Twenty-Five
Prompt: DARK
Pen name: SWEETP-1
Pairing: EDWARDxBELLA
Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own, I am just borrowing quotes and characters. No copyright infringement intended.

I Promise to Love You Forever

My Dearest Edward,


"I promise to love you forever - every single day of forever."

You told me that once, but it's taken until now for me to realize you really did mean it. When you're a silly, naive 18 year-old-girl, "forever" is a concept reserved for fairy tales and happily- ever-afters, not real life. Even now as I lie here, old and grey and waiting for death, I still can't really fathom what facing a life of eternity, a life without end, must be like.

But you knew, and you loved me enough to let me go.

For the longest time, I resented you for that decision. I thought if you really loved me like you said you did, you would want me by your side forever. We could have had eternity in each other's arms, a love that had no end, the two of us, together - forever. Back then, I could see in your eyes there was a part of you that wanted that just as much as I did. I often used to wonder if I had begged you again, pleaded with you just one more time, if it might have been enough to change your mind. I was convinced my life was meant to have a different path and that you were keeping me from it.


There were times in my life I hated you, bitter and twisted with the ache of what I had lost.

There was never a minute of my life that I didn't love you. After all, I promised to love you forever, too.


I used to think you were selfish, that you were wrong and everything that happened was a huge mistake. I know now, you gave me the greatest gift of all. Your selfless choice to let me go is something I should be grateful for, not resentful. You gave me the gift of life; you gave me Mary - my pride, my joy. It's such a cliche, but she really is the light of my life. Without her, I never would have been able to live the life you wished for me.

My gratitude is long overdue, I know, but please know that I forgive you. I realize now that you were right. I wouldn't have wanted my life any other way. I'm just sorry it has taken me this long to realize it.

Edward, there are few things I regret in my life, but if I could do anything over again, I would take back the things I said when we last saw each other. I was hurting, and I know my words hurt you. I'm sorry. I thought it would be easier if I never saw you again, that my heart would have a chance to mend itself in your absence. I thought the only way you would leave me alone was if you thought I didn't love you anymore.

I loved you then, just as I do now. I have loved you always.

I thought if you were gone, I would forget. I was wrong. Now, as my life draws to an end, all I have left are the memories - the fondest ones are those of you, and I wish that I hadn't pushed you away. I wish I could have had more images of you in my head to distract me from this dull decay they call death.

I wish there was more.

There is a part of me that wants one more visit, one more moment with you, one more smile, and, maybe if I am honest, one more kiss. There was always a part of me that wanted that. I think if you came, my heart would shatter into a million tiny pieces - it would hurt too much. I may be old and wrinkled, and knocking on death's door, but I am still a woman and a vain one at that. I don't want you to remember me as this drab and broken imitation. This isn't the me I want you to remember. I think it would hurt you too, to see me like this.


The me I want you to remember is the 17-year-old girl you fell in love with. Full of hopes and dreams, all innocence and big eyes, the clumsy, accident prone girl you rescued from a mediocre existence. The girl that gazed at you with love in her eyes as you made love to her under the stars in the meadow. The girl that cried when you played the lullaby you had written for her. The girl that was swept off her feet, madly in love, without a care in the world.

That was the happiest time of my life. That is the me I want you to hold on to. That is the me I want you to love forever.

Edward, I know my time is nearly up. The darkness will come for me soon. To be honest, I am tired and weary, and death will be a relief. I am not afraid of the end. If I had just one wish, it would be for you too, to have this peace, this conclusion, this finite version of forever. Thank you for giving me that gift too.

I love you,

Forever and Always,

Your Bella x

The pen fell from her fingers. Fingers that were bent and gnarled. The effort of putting those painful thoughts to paper made every part of her ache.

Her heart hurt.

She just needed to finish this and then she could sleep, hide for a little while from the pain and the aging.

The nurse's bell sat on her bedside table and she reached over to push the button, wincing as the strain of doing so left her breathless and weak.

The young nurse breezed into her room a few moments later.

"Bella?" she asked kindly. "What do you need?"

Bella hated to bother the nursing staff, but she needed to finish this.

"Can you help me with something, dear?" She really wanted to be able to do this herself, but her weakened body would no longer do as she wished.

"Of course," she smiled as she perched on the side of the bed.

Bella's breath was ragged. The letter had drained every last drop of energy from her. She could feel her eyelids beginning to droop.

"I have a letter and I need you to put it in an envelope for me. I have the address here, but I don't want you to send it until..."

"Until...after I'm gone," she continued.

"Bella...," the nurse began.

"It will be soon," she wheezed. Her voice no longer sounded like her own.

"I just need you to do this for me...please," Bella laid her head back on the pillow, the softness a momentary relief from the heaviness that was slowly pushing down on her body. Her eyes closed on their own accord and she couldn't find the will to open them again.

"Of course," the girl whispered as she took the letter from Bella's grasp.

Bella felt the nurse's hand, young and unwrinkled, smooth back the hair from her face.

She felt her pull up the blanket and tuck in the edge. Like I used to do for Mary, Bella smiled fondly to herself.

She felt a touch to her hand, briefly, softly.

Then there was nothing to feel but the darkness.