Okay so i was very very very very very bored.
Disclaimer: The song belongs to Christina Perri (called Jar of Hearts) and is in bold. The characters belong to J.K Rowling. I own neither.
Harry Potter, Boy-Who-Lived, the Chosen One, Gryffindor's Golden Boy, the Wizarding World's Saviour and the Boy-Who-Conquered was worried for his mental health.
After the war Harry hadn't been able to come to terms with his grief, he couldn't seem to move on. Everyone was telling him that it would take time for him to adjust properly. But Hermione had said that he probably needed closure. So Harry found himself standing alone at the exact place that Lord Voldemort died, holding a funeral for him.
Well how else was he meant to find closure?
"Rocks and rubble. We are gathered here today not because you were blown from your walls in the Battle of Hogwarts – as everyone is calling it – but to say goodbye to the snake-face who killed many with many more being killed by his Eaters of Doom."
The rocks just sat there.
"Before we begin, however, I would just like to say a few words. Does anyone-anything have any objections?"
Nothing objected.
"Good." Harry enlarged a previously hidden Muggle portable CD player from within his robes. "I couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't just be ranting, so I found a song that I think is very suitable for this moving service. You can all join in if you want to… No? Oh well, on we go then."
No, I can't take one more step towards you
Eurgh, who would have actually wanted to walk towards Mouldyshorts? He might've smelt. Do you think he washed regularly and cleaned his teeth… Imagine him going to the toilet! Eww.
Cause all that's waiting is regret
Or death…
And don't you know that I'm not your ghost anymore?
Well, technically, I kind of was considering Tommy did kill me…
You lost the love I loved the most
You lost the love I loved the… what?
I learned to live half-alive
All things considered, I did have a piece of Tommy's soul in my head.
And now you want me one more time
Tough. You're dead.
And who do you think you are?
Me. Harry Potter.
Running round leaving scars
You got that right. Stupid scar.
Collecting your jar of hearts
Now that's nasty, I wonder if Mouldy actually did that?
And tearing love apart
Mum and Dad.
You're gonna catch a cold
Now that would be amusing
From the ice inside your soul
Or Horcruxes. Either works I suppose, either would be funny to see
So don't come back for me
Unless there's another Horcrux hidden… Merlin I hope not
Who do you think you are?
You. Tom Riddle.
I hear you're asking all around
C'mon, I mean he was Slytherin. Meant to be a little more subtle
If I am anywhere to be found
Well I wasn't going to go around with a massive sign above my head saying 'Harry POTTER THIS WAY for all your torturous needs.
I have grown too strong
Me. STTRROOONNGGG.
To ever fall back in your arms
I was in his arms in the first place?
I learned to live half-alive
Stupid piece of Mouldyshort's soul stuck inside my head, so irresponsible.
Now you want me one more time
Too late.
And who do you think you are?
You. Mouldyshorts.
Running round leaving scars
Stupid stupid scar.
Collecting your jar of hearts
Well there was a tank of brains in the Department of Mysteries… until Ron broke said tank.
And tearing love apart
Sirius.
You're gonna catch a cold
Achoo.
From the ice inside your soul
*cough* Horcruxes *cough*
So don't come back for me
If there is another Horcrux I might save Tommy the bother and kill myself
Who do you think you are?
You. Tommyboy.
Dear, it took so long
To kill you?
Just to feel alright
I suppose that took a while as well…
Remember how to put back
Please don't put your soul back together again it was annoying enough the first time.
The light in my eyes
My eyes are perfectly fine the way they are. Except for the annoying need for glasses. But beggars can't be choosers as the Muggles say.
I wish I had missed
…
The first time that we kissed
Definitely glad that didn't happen *Shudder*
Cause you broke all your promises
Since when would anyone believe any promises you would have made?
And now you're back you don't get to get me back
I bloody well hope that you're not back.
And who do you think you are?
You. Queen of the Eaters of Death.
Which if you think about it should really be a good thing, cos if you're eating it then you're getting rid of it which means death is going. Silly Tommy.
Running round leaving scars
Stupid stupid stupid scar.
Collecting your jar of hearts
Most people collect stickers or stamps, but hey, whatever turns you on Mouldy.
And tearing love apart
Remus and Tonks.
You're gonna catch a cold
Note to self: ask Hermione if Wizards can get colds.
From the ice inside your soul
If you had ice in all your souls then that must've been a heck of a lot of ice. We could've gone skiing in your Horcruxes… such a waste.
So don't come back for me
Yeah, please. Don't.
Don't come back at all
Definitely don't.
And who do you think you are?
You. Voldemouldy.
Running round leaving scars
Been over this. Stupid stupid stupid STUPID scar.
Collecting your jar of hearts
Icky. Sticky.
And tearing love apart
Fred. And everyone else who died.
You're gonna catch a cold
Chilly.
From the ice inside your soul
Ssss. Plural.
So don't come back for me
Quite happy without you, thank you.
Don't come back at all
Definitely don't need you.
Who do you think you are?
You. Tom Riddle.
Who do you think you are?
You. Lord Voldemort.
Who do you think you are?
You. Dead.
Awfu. Ahh well i was bored.
For those who read my other stories i will update soon but i've just been through a rough time so don't expect regular updates for a while yet.
Esula x