Arrancar Encyclopedia Vol. 2
( Harribel's Ressurccion)
Ichimaru: today we'll be talking about Harribel's Ressurccion…
(Points stick to screen showing clips of Harribel)
Ichimaru: Harribel's zanpaktou is called Tiburon (Shark) she is ranked the 3rd most powerful espada personally though I gotta notice her Ressurccion is a little revealing.
(Harribel's walks in and studies the clip)
Harribel: what are you insinuating?
Ichimaru: n-nothing just ain't you worried that they can see more then you'd like?
Harribel: (silent then blushes) please excuse me.
(Harribel disappears out of the room)
Ichimaru: where'd she go?
(It shows Harribel near a local store trying on less revealing outfits)
(The remaining Espada in Los Noches)
Ichimaru: today we'll be talking about the remaining espada still in Las Noches and not in Karakura town.
(Slips out piece of paper as it widens to reveal on the right side on a chair Ulquiorra, on the left Rajik)
Ichimaru: here we got Ulquiorra-san, Rajik-san and finally (taps screen with stick) Grimmjow-san who is paralyzed and still exactly where he is how ya feeling Grimmy?
Grimmjow: (stares angrily) oh I'm fucking peachy keen you fox faced prick!
Ichimaru: glad to hear it. So Ulquiorra lets talk a minute about your buddy Rajik.
Ulquiorra: regarding what exactly?
Ichimaru: well the fact he hasn't much air time as you or Grimmy combined. I mean think about it.
(Ichimaru taps the screen where grimmjow is and it begins to slowly grow small)
Grimmjow: (voice dispering from static) h-hey wha-what the he-
(cut off as it shows images of Rajik and his fraccion doing random boring activates to past the time such as a drinking contest, watching day time telvision until yammy destroyed it and finally Hisako and Goro kissing in the middle of the dark until Rajik got up from his seat and cut the tv in half)
Rajik: there is nothing to see there. Are we done with this segment yet?
Ichimaru: (water drop) someone's a little jealous.
(Cooking in Las Noches)
Ichimaru: today we'll be discussing the various delicacies served in Las Noches for that lets go to Goro-san.
(The screen widens showing he is in a kitchen their is a small table and various cooking foods and drinks)
Goro: hey their. (Smiles)
Ichimaru: so watcha got cooking today goro?
(Goro opens a pot)
Goro: well today I'm making my own personal drink "Las Noches Surprise".
Ichimaru: cool… so wanna show us what ya add?
(Goro picks up various spices and herbs and add it to the pot fast like)
Goro: well we add a little of this and a little of that and then stir…. Boil for 30 seconds (puts in oven) then shake it up and then their ya go! (smiles proudly)
(ichimaru sees the drinks have a mixture of light green while some had a watermelon color he picks up a watermelon colored one and takes a sip)
IcIchimaru: mmmm…. Refreshing taste like an actual combo of watermelon and a hint of cherry what about the other ones?
(Goro smiles sly like)
Goro: oh that's my Las Noches surprise.
Ichimaru: why is it a surprise?
Goro: well for one thing it's the only drink with alcohol in it, which is like a bomb, and two I already found (blushes hard) exceptional taste subjects.
(He points to the screen as it shows arrancars Apache and Mila Rose dizzy and drunk as they began giggling at each other Goro got out a remote and pressed record)
Apache: (drunk) hi goro…. (Hiccups)
Goro: (waves) hey guys how ya feeling?
Mila Rose: kinda dizzy and hot (whew)
Ichimaru: when did you find the time to do this?
Goro: shut up don't judge me! Now let me enjoy the sexy ladies get drunk off their asses!
(The two female arrancars then began to almost strip off their clothes when someone fired a yellow bala at the screen sending Goro flying he then sees Harribel and Sun-Sun)
Harribel: just what do you think your doing Goro you pervert?
Goro: H-Harribel-sama?! Uh…. n-nothing at all j-just treating them all to a drink that's all! (Chuckles nervously)
Harribel: (takes out zanpaktou) because I'm in a good mood I'll give you a five second head start. Go.
(Goro then ran)
Harribel: Sun-Sun you have the honors.
Sun-Sun: thank you Harribel-sama.
(They both chase after Goro)
Ichimaru: that was…. Interesting. (Thinking) (I wonder if I should give this to Rangiku-san) (Smiles)
(Adjuchas)
Ichimaru: today we'll be discussing about Adjuchas…
(Points stick to screen)
Ichimaru: as most of you know Adjuchas were in charge of keeping the many menos grandes but now (uses stick as a knife on throat) they all bit the dust. It's a shame but personally (dream cloud) they reminded me of farmers.
(He daydreams of an adujuchas in farmer clothes while some Menos grandes were in a pen)
Ichimaru: I gotta lay off the sake.
(Ulquiorra's Ressurccion)
Ichimaru: today we'll be discussing Ulquiorra's Ressurccion form.
(points to screen showing clips of Ulquiorra)
Ichimaru: Ulquiorra is ranked the 4th Espada his zanpaktou is Murcielago (Bat)
That explains a lot I always thought he had a bat like complex.
(Ulquiorra walks in)
Ulquiorra: are you making fun of me?
Ichimaru: no no…. it's just at the costume party last year I always though you should've gone as batman or something but….
(Ulquiorra just stares coldly at him)
Ulquiorra: are you done?
Ichimaru: (sweat) y-yeah nevermind…
(Stark and Lilynette)
Ichimaru: today we'll be talking about the Espada Stark.
(it widens to see he is near a chalkboard as he began drawing a picture of Stark and Lilynette and his number)
Ichimaru: Stark is the 1st# Espada his Ressurccion is called Los Lobos (Wolf Pack) despite his power he's still lazy and always get's tired easily. Not to mention he and his supposed Fraccion Lilynette are one.
(He points to a small tv screen as it shows Stark sleeping and Lilynette near the screen)
Ichimaru: hey their kid!
Lilynette: (shhh!) Stark is sleeping! You wanna wake him up?!
Ichimaru: sorry just gotta ask when is your birthday?
Lilynette: why do you ask?
Ichimaru: well I gotta know if I gotta get one cake or two I mean do you both have a certain taste or what?
Lilynette: do I look like I fricken care?! Hell no!
Stark: (drowsily) shut the hell up will ya Lilynette I'm trying to sleep.
Lilynette: it wasn't my fault it was his! That asshole i-
(cut off by Ichimaru)
Ichimaru: (takes out list) get smaller cake….
(Rajik's Fraccion Ressurccion)
Ichimaru: today we'll be talking about Rajik Fisher's Fraccion and their Ressurreccion's.
(Points to screen showing clips of Yammy, Hisako and Goro)
Ichimaru: Yammy's Ressurccion is Ira (Angry Beast) and beast he is look how fricken huge he is! (Takes out binoculars) next is Hisako Qufang's Ressurccion is Zetsymaru (related to five-pincer insect) kinda see the family resemblance though kinda sexy… (Snaps a photo) finally Goro's Ressurccion Kumo (Spider) (shudders) I hate spiders half human or not.
(Shows all the three fraccion together)
Ichimaru: so you guys happy ya got some airtime finally.
Yammy: Fuck yeah! I finally get to go hard on all their Asses!
Goro: I'm looking forward to battling that ice chick. (Growls)
Hisako: tch…. Seriously were going to finally help Rajik-sama and you can only think about how hot that bitch is?
Goro: hey she's got more going on then you. (Stares at her breasts)
(Hisako then unfazed with her eyes closed hit him in the crotch)
Goro: (weakly) y-you dirty bitch!
Hisako: eh…. talk to someone who cares…. (She then winks at Goro giggling)
Yammy: come on already when can we fight?!
(all three then start arguing in a dust like cloud with Ichimaru is standing next to Rajik)
Ichimaru: seriously you should get a fricken medal.
Rajik: (scoffs) ain't that the truth.
(Rajik's Ressurccion)
Ichimaru: today we'll be discussing Rajik-san's Ressurccion.
(He then taps the tv screen as it shows all of the 10 espada and their numbers one through 10)
Ichimaru: now as you all probably thought the system was 1-10 but recently…
(He then erases the numbers and rearranges them 0-9)
Ichimaru: is really 0-9 making him the most powerful espada in the army. Gotta say I always knew there was more to that guy then meets the eye.
Rajik: must I really be on this right now?
Ichimaru: why whats the big deal?
Rajik: in case you must know t-todays my birthday…
Ichimaru: really how old are ya?
Rajik: (silent for a minute) I'd rather not say….