Everything Changes
A/N: This is a gender bender one-shot Marauders story with a few situations that are completely not-canon. I hope you like it!Every single character belongs to Queen Rowling and I've only made a few changes in characters that are already remarkable. If you're interested, I have another fanfic (that's way longer) inspired by the Hogwarts Mystery game. To finish, I'd like to thank my beloved Beta, Rina (aka iNiGmA), who's also a wonderful writer (make sure to check her stories too!). I hope you enjoy it and if you have any comments, critiques or concerns, feel free to contact me.
The huge chiming wall clock was ticking as dozens of quills scratched at parchments, filling the air with the sound of anxiety and expectation. It was the year of the N.E.W.T.s and it was almost impossible to spot a seventh-year student resting or faffing about in the corridors. Wherever you looked, you'd see students with their noses stuck in books, reading flawless notes, studying with friends, or locked in the library while desperately trying to absorb more and more knowledge.
The first round of exams was just a confirmation that the last year of school would be undeniably exhausting, and harder than all the ones before. It was a test of preparation for the future, and failing wasn't an option. The rhythmic sound of the clock only added to the nervousness, and inkblots could be seen over the strictly ordered desks, and in the margins of the exam papers. There were shaky and steady hands, big and small calligraphies, and answers that were both exhaustive and exhaustively lacking. But through it all, there was not a single soul that was not plagued with uneasiness.
With the exception, perhaps, of Jamie Potter.
The seventeen-year-old girl had long ago finished answering the questions, andquestions and was now carelessly doodling a Snitch on a scrap of parchment. Her delicate fingers skilfully added two small letters to the inside of the small ball: L.E. It wasn't the first time she had doodled that same drawing, and it wouldn't be the last time that the sight of those two letters would tease a smirk from her lips.
Jamie rested her quill inside the inkpot with a sigh, acknowledging that it would be another full five minutes before she could drop off her exam and leave the classroom at last. She ran her fingers through her luscious long black hair, casually twirling them around several strands near the bottom. It was one of her many vanities, her hair, and she would never be caught dead wearing it tied back, no matter how warm the weather became. The only occasions on which she'd allow herself to brush that beautiful hair back into a flawless ponytail was during the Quidditch season. She couldn't allow herself to miss the Snitch, after all, if her thick locks of hair chose to enshroud her eyes.
She rested her face on her hand and glanced to the side, where her best friend, Stella Black, was sitting. Stella was just dotting her last i when Professor Marvin McGonagall clapped his hands and all the tests rose off their respective desks and flew toward him, furling into neat scrolls as they went, and finally falling graciously inside a box beside his desk. Stella leaned back to rest against the chair, stretching, and cracked her knuckles. Then she shot Jamie a glowing, grey-eyed wink, her lips curving up into a satisfied smirk.
Several sighs were heard throughout the room as the students rose, collected their belongings, and started to trail out of the classroom; there were sighs of relief and sighs of disappointment; but, there were also cheerful conversations that spoke of self-fulfilment and pride.
"Another O, I'm sure," Stella said brightly, when they reached the school grounds.
"As easy as catching the Snitch," Jamie agreed, and she stretched before dropping down on the grass near the water's edge.
"I'll admit, I thought it was fairly easy as well," Renee Lupin added, withdrawing a book from her backpack and immediately disappearing behind it; there was never a lack of exams to prepare for.
"Take a break, Moony," Stella said, frowning. "Can't you just relax for a little bit?"
"Not when the N.E.W.T.s are right around the corner..."
"There's plenty of time until the N.E.W.T.s," Jamie said, agreeing with Stella. "Try and relax a bit. Too much stress will give you wrinkles."
"I'd hardly consider school a stress, Jamie," Renee said with a smirk. "I have other things to completely distress me."
"Of course," Jamie said uncomfortably. "That werewolf thing. Sorry, Moony."
"I wasn't talking about that," Renee said. "It's preventing you guys from killing yourselves that exhausts me."
"Git." Stella giggled, gently punching Renee on the arm.
They sat in silence for a bit in the fresh and chill December air. Though the grass was a bit dry and crackly beneath their weight, there were still no signs of snow. The gamekeeper, Ruby Hagrid, could already be spotted bringing pine trees into the castle, which would later be decorated by the talented Professor Philly Flitwick.
"Look who's 'catching up with their studies', Jamie," Stella whispered in a provoking tone, inclining her head in the direction of a pale girl with long, straight black hair. It hung in limp curtains around her face as she climbed down the castle steps with an armload of heavy books.
"Ew," Jamie said, rolling her hazel eyes. "Those books will be all stained with grease."
"I was sitting behind her during the exam," Patty Pettigrew broke in with a smirk, picking at her now-chipped nail lacquer. "There were definitely grease marks all over her parchment!"
"How could there not be?" Jamie said, amused. "That obnoxiously huge nose is just dripping grease nonstop, isn't it?"
"You're mean as hell, Jamie," Renee said with a sigh. "Serena's just as outstanding of a student as you are."
"Don't tell me you're comparing me to that snivelling prat, Moony!"
"I'm just saying that it's unwise to diminish her when she's clearly more focused on succeeding in her tests than you are," Renee said, rolling her eyes.
"I don't need to study," Jamie said. "I have natural intelligence."
"Sure." Renee shrugged.
Jamie snorted as she watched Serena Snape reach her desired spot beneath a sycamore tree and drop down onto the grass. The pale girl crossed her ankles and opened a huge book. She became engrossed within its pages immediately, a smile lighting up her face, almost as if the content of the book was amusing her. Jamie couldn't help but notice how the girl's hair desperately needed a good trim, and how her clothes were much too loose, and not to mention – her legs were entirely too thin. She also acknowledged how dull Serena's jet-black eyes looked, with no eye shadow or mascara on her lashes. Her thin lips were naked (not even a little gloss!). It was almost as if the girl thought intelligence could compensate for her lack of style. Jamie shook her head in wonder.
"And look who's here to brighten up your day, Jamie!" Stella said with a smirk, breaking her out of her musings. Jamie glanced up and saw the tall ginger-haired boy – man – walking down the castle steps.
"Liam Evans," Jamie said with a dreamy sigh, allowing her eyes to wander over his broad shoulders, across his gorgeous jawline, and stop at last as she gazed into his mesmerizing emerald eyes. Her smile slid off her face immediately, however, when Liam spotted the black-haired girl and headed straight for her.
"I didn't know they were talking again," Stella said, frowning.
"They made up during the summer," Renee told them.
"And you're only just bringing it up now?" Jamie snapped at her.
"I thought you knew! Haven't you guys become all chummy, now that you're Head Boy and Girl?"
"We don't talk about that kind of stuff," Jamie said resentfully. "He's mainly… polite. I mean, he laughs at my jokes and we talk about our duties… but we never talk about… her."
"Why does it even matter?" Renee asked. "Do you even see her as competition?"
Jamie snorted. "Don't be silly, Moony. Of course not! I mean, look at her. A hunk like Evans would never–"
She abruptly broke off when Liam reached forward and gently ran his fingers through the length of Serena's raven hair. He shot her a pure and genuine smile, making her pale cheeks blush a furious red – so bright Jamie could see it easily, even from where they were sitting.
"Did you all see that?" Stella said, baffled, as she stared around at her girlfriends. "Or have I lost my mind and need a trip to St. Mungos?"
"You haven't," Patty said. "But I think Jamie's about to burst."
One of Jamie's hazel eyes was twitching, and she was absently grasping at the dry grass, ripping out tufts of it in anger. Her knuckles were getting whiter by the second, and a throbbing vein had popped up on her temple. Her friends, who would usually be ready to jump in with a good old pep talk, stayed quiet; they knew that this time it wouldn't be effective. If there was something that Jamie categorically couldn't stand, it was other girls getting between her and Liam.
Jamie and Liam were in an unspoken and unconfirmed relationship – at least in Jamie's mind. They had been friends for seven years now. They had studied together, been through hard times together, and completely drove each other mad… and if all that didn't mean that they were in a relationship, well then Jamie would readily admit that she knew nothing at all. She would annoy him, and he'd roll his eyes. She'd be all presumptuous and slightly unbearable, and he'd give her a snide remark and leave. She'd strut around and show off in Quidditch to get his attention, and he'd look away and bury his face in random books. He was sweet and gorgeous, but he constantly ignored her efforts to win his heart. That was the very foundation of their relationship, and Jaime wouldn't let anyone get in between them.
"I'm going to hex that git," Jamie said, standing up. "Right now."
"A very unwise decision," Renee said, highlighting a passage in her book.
"How can you say that?" Jamie asked, infuriated. "Don't you see them?! I can't let this happen! That greasy witch is stealing my man!"
Renee closed her book and gave Jamie an exasperated glance. "First of all, he isn't your man. And second, I find it hard to believe that Liam would appreciate you stomping over there and firing hexes at Serena. Especially while he's standing right there!"
"She deserves it," Jamie mumbled.
"I don't think Liam would agree," Renee added. "They're friends again, because Serena was the bigger person and asked for his forgiveness. Liam told me she was getting involved with the Dark Arts, but after spending so long without speaking, she realised that there are things more important than values or principles."
"Blessed be Serena Snape." Jamie rolled her eyes. "That makes me want to hex her even more. She's clearly lying to him! Everyone knows she intends to join the Death Eaters, and you can't just change your mind and be okay with that."
"It's not about being a Death Eater or not," Renee explained. "Liam and Serena grew up together. She told him everything about the wizarding world and they promised they'd be friends forever. That vow was more important to her than joining a troubled gang."
Jamie took a deep breath and rolled her eyes so intensely that only a sliver of hazel could be seen. "All right. So, they're friends now. I can't hex her. What should I do?"
"You know what you should not do, and that's a great start," Stella said with a wink.
"I don't follow." Jamie crossed her arms.
"Stop hexing people you don't like," Renee said. "Just to start. Especially Serena Snape."
"Stop acting like you're the Quidditch queen," Stella added. "We both know I'm a much better player than you are."
"In your dreams." Jamie smirked.
"Stop messing with your hair whenever he's around," Patty added. "Everyone knows it annoys him."
"All right, all right." Jamie raised both arms in surrender. "You're all telling me what I shouldn't do. What can I do?"
The girls exchanged pensive stares. Renee's eyes focused on Liam and Serena: carelessly siting on the grass, studying. They looked happy; as if the Sorting had never got between them, and Jamie had never been around to disturb them. Deep down, Renee wished Jamie would just let them be and find someone else to focus her attention on, but she knew her friend would never give up on Liam Evans.
"Serena studies a lot," Renee said finally. "She isn't a show pony during class, and she's very reserved. She isn't the centre of attention and seems to hate the spotlight. She's thoughtful enough to admit she's made a mistake and ask for forgiveness."
Jamie snorted. "In other words, she's everything I'm not."
"Don't look at it like that," Patty said. "You have wonderful qualities that Serena doesn't have. You're beautiful, and great at Quidditch, and you can cheer up your friends like no one else."
"And you're incredibly loyal, positive, and optimistic," Renee added.
Jamie smiled and glanced at Stella, who was ripping up a little white flower from the grass.
"What?" Stella asked, when she noticed Jamie's stare. "Oh, you want a compliment from me, too? Well fat chance, Bambi. I'm still way better at Quidditch! But you're all right, girl. And your hair's almost as nice as mine."
Jamie grinned.
Changing was something Jamie had given serious consideration before. During her fifth year, she had been completely disgraced and shunned by Liam after a thoughtless attack on Serena. After careful contemplation, Jamie had come to the conclusion that hexing Serena whenever it pleased her was something that would only drive a wedge between her and her beloved Liam and drive him away.
So Jaime had stopped harassing Serena.
For a few weeks, at least.
It had been enough to change Liam's perspective about Jamie, however. He still saw her as an egocentric brat, but also as a dedicated classmate, and a somewhat-sweet friend. Their conversations were never too long, or too deep, but they were enough to make Jamie fall more and more in love with him each day.
But now, Serena was in the way.
Jamie couldn't stop herself from thinking that Liam could be developing feelings for the skinny and greasy girl, and that single thought was enough to drive her crazy. Serena could be everything, but she still wasn't the everything that Jamie was. She was incomplete, and flawed, and Jamie hoped that Serena's defects would prevent Liam from falling for her.
When the first round of exams finally ended, the castle began to look Christmassy and enchanted at last. There were dozens of Christmas trees stationed around the castle. Mistletoe hung from doorways. Suits of armour were enchanted to sing Christmas carols whenever anyone walked past. And most of all, the promise of the delicious holiday feast loomed on the horizon.
Jamie spent a lot of time preparing for the holidays. She knew Liam would spend them at home, and she didn't want to waste a chance to steal a kiss under the mistletoe before he left. She was constantly wearing her favourite flavoured lipstick and a very sugary perfume. Though she hadn't given up on trying to show Liam that she was a completely different girl, she also refused to wander around the castle without looking absolutely gorgeous.
Serena, on the other hand, didn't seem to care about her looks at all. She also didn't seem bothered that she'd have to spend her holiday at Hogwarts. She could be spotted around the castle and grounds constantly, reading, or studying with her face hidden behind her curtain of raven locks. She could spend hours like that, perusing one book after another, and the only reason Jamie could tell that she wasn't simply petrified was because her eyes would occasionally stray from the pages to flash a disapproving glare in Jamie's direction.
"She probably knows you're trying to steal her man," Stella said casually, as they walked past a glaring Serena in the Entrance Hall.
Jamie snorted. "He's not her man!"
Meanwhile, Liam could be seen relaxing with his friends: Martin McDonald, Allen Prewett, Marlon McKinnon, and Dorian Meadowes. They were often spotted playing Wizard's Chess, practicing intricate spells, or exchanging important notes from the most difficult classes. They were all incredibly handsome in their own unique ways, but Liam was definitely the one who stood out in the crowd.
"I have to have him," Jamie moaned during breakfast on Tuesday, days before the end of the term.
"I still don't understand what you see in him," Patty said, dumping several chocolate chip pancakes onto her plate.
"That's because you're awfully obtuse," Jamie said, rolling her eyes as she played with her oatmeal. "Can't you see his flawless ginger hair? And those amazing green eyes? And the way his voice sounds when he talks? Like a choir of angels…"
Patty smiled. "You're definitely in love."
Jamie sighed. She certainly was. And she was starting to get rather impatient. Liam and Serena could be seen together all the time, either studying, or simply conversating in random places. The green monster of jealousy was starting to roar inside Jamie's heart, and she knew it was time to take a step forward.
She decided to take her opportunity right after the Christmas feast. She approached Liam as the students who were heading home for the holidays gathered on the castle lawn.
"Hey, Evans!" she said, casually striding up to him. Liam glanced around at her, and she saw that Serena was standing right beside him. The little witch had beaten her here! The green monster roared inside her.
"Oh. Hi, Snape," she added, trying to keep her voice light, but only managing something that wasn't entirely disdainful. "Didn't know you were going home too."
"I'm not," the girl said in a monotonous voice.
"Me neither." Jamie ran her fingers through her perfectly arranged hair. "Anyway, Liam, I was hoping to talk to you before you left. I'm having some difficulties in Potions. I was wondering if… well… if you could maybe help me study next term."
"Why me?" the ginger boy asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, you know… I could've asked Stella or Renee, or whatever, but I figured that asking the most intelligent guy in the whole school would be my best bet." Jamie flashed him a bright smile, which only grew wider when she caught sight of the annoyed look in Serena's eyes.
Liam glanced at Serena with an intrigued expression and she simply shrugged and headed back to the castle without another word, an enormous book under her arm. Jamie wondered if Liam had noticed her expression, and secretly hoped that he had.
"Sure," Liam said, turning back to Jamie. "Why not? We can do it after the holidays."
"Thanks, Evans!" Jamie winked. "You're the best."
"Are you staying here for the holidays, then?" Liam asked.
"Yeah. The girls are staying, and it'll be more fun if the whole squad's together. It's our last Christmas here and all."
"Ah yes. Well, try to behave, all right?" Liam said, sounding slightly amused. "Don't disgrace the badge and all."
"You know I cannot promise that," Jamie said seriously, giving him a wink again.
"I know." He smiled softly. "You never change."
He reached out and messed up Jamie's luscious black hair before quickly turning around to leave. Jamie stood frozen as he walked away in a sea of students, wondering if his words were good or bad. The simple touch of his hand against her hair had made her feel airy and startled… but his words had left her in a state of complete bafflement.
Amidst her confusion, it started snowing.
The Marauders didn't understand Jamie's silence during the holiday break. Stella was eager to engage in all sorts of trouble and Jamie's lack of interest only made her more restless. She quickly found something to fill her time, however: a gorgeous Ravenclaw named Hector.
Renee, Patty, and a very quiet Jamie were heading down to the Great Hall for breakfast midway through the break, when a hopping Stella bounced into step beside them on the staircase. Her hair was messy, her clothes were wrinkly, and there was a purplish mark clearly visible on her neck.
"Honestly, Padfoot," Renee said, rolling her eyes. "It's eight in the freaking morning."
"So?" Stella said recklessly. "You guys are boring me, so I found something more interesting to do."
"Someone more interesting, you mean," Patty corrected her, giggling.
Jamie continued walking in silence, and Stella stared at her, her eyebrows lifting so high they nearly disappeared into her thick black hair. When Jamie sat down for breakfast and absentmindedly started to play with the blueberries on her plate, Stella could no longer contain herself.
"Okay, I'm done," she said, grabbing Jamie's plate and plopping it down in front of her. She took one of Jamie's blueberries and popped it in her mouth. "What the hell's the matter with you?"
Jamie raised her hazel eyes to her friend and blinked. "What are you talking about?"
"You're kidding me, right?" Stella said incredulously. "What the hell happened to my best friend? You're never this quiet! The last time you were this pensive was two years ago, when Evans said you were a fat head that made him sick."
Jamie rolled her eyes. "Thanks for reminding me of that blissful moment, Padfoot."
"Anytime," Stella said brightly. "But what I really want to know, is why you're acting all strange!"
Jamie sighed and crossed her arms. "Evans said I 'never change' and I can't figure out if he meant it in a, 'Oh, you never change, Potter, and I love you for that!' way or in a, 'Piss off, Potter, I don't date mean girls that are incapable of changing, and that's why I'll marry Serena Snivelly Snape and her awesome abilities of becoming a better person' way!"
"You lost me in a, 'Piss off, Potter' way," Stella said with a frown.
"Jamie, is Liam so important to you that you're willing to change for him?" Renee asked, looking at Jamie with serious eyes. "Don't you want him to love you the way you are?"
Jamie sighed. "I… I don't know. I like being a prankster and a misbehaving Head Girl, but he makes it all sound so… wrong."
"Then maybe he's the wrong guy for you," Patty said with a shrug.
"No," Jamie said, resting her face on her hands, "it's not like that, guys. He makes me want to be better. He makes me thrive for perfection. For that, and for several other reasons, I know he's the one for me. I've been madly in love with him ever since he told me to always read the footnotes; because they were sure to be on our exams…" She trailed off, her face falling into a familiar grin that the girls had seen many times before, most often when Liam was concerned.
"Well," Renee said, "maybe there's something else you could do. Something that doesn't involve a complete metamorphosis of who you are."
"And what's that?" Jamie asked, rounding on Renee with a hopeful glow in her eye.
Renee shrugged. "You could start by telling him all of that."
The holidays came and went, and before they knew it, there was a boisterous crowd of students in the Entrance Hall, chattering excitedly as they exchanged stories of their holiday adventures.
Jamie wended her way through them as she searched for Liam. She had hoped to meet him in the Entrance Hall, welcome him back, and, with luck, walk him back to their common room; but as she ambled through the milling crowd, she spotted Serena – who had been nothing short of invisible during the snowy days when the castle was empty – waltzing through the students in Liam's direction, ready to greet him.
She reached him before Jamie, who stopped short as she watched them from afar.
"How was your Christmas?" Serena asked, gazing up into his eyes.
"Lovely," Liam said, smiling at her. He gave her a brief hug. "And how was your stay at the castle? Not too lonely, I hope."
"Oh, I got a fair bit of reading done," Serena said easily. "And thank you! The Potioneer Guide by Hector Dagworth-Granger was fascinating. Did you read it? Because you wouldn't believe the uses hellebore can be put to, when used as a dried powder instead of a syrup."
"I'm so glad you liked it," Liam said affectionately. "I just knew I had to get it for you when I saw it."
Jamie scowled, watching them. She didn't want to be jealous; but watching Liam and Serena together made her realize that Serena had a claim to a part of Liam's life that she would never fully possess. With a pang, she realized that the thought made the monster of jealousy in her chest shrink slightly; because Jamie wasn't feeling envious anymore… she was simply in pain.
Several weeks passed.
Jamie had actually entirely forgotten about asking Liam to help her with potions. She didn't need help, after all, and she reasoned she would probably only make him more annoyed, and less inclined to be around her. He was, however, extremely polite as usual – especially during their duties as Head Boy and Girl.
"So, have you behaved during the holidays?" Liam asked her casually one evening, as they patrolled the corridors together near Gryffindor Tower.
"Like an angel, Evans," Jamie said, holding her hands behind her back as they walked.
"I find it doubtful, but I'll choose to believe you, I suppose."
Jamie stopped abruptly and turned to look at him, her hazel eyes meeting his green ones. "Why? Why do you find it so doubtful?"
Liam paused in his patrol as well and glanced at her with a slight frown. "Would you like me to present the evidence in order of impact, importance, or chronology?"
Jamie blinked and started walking again, glancing away from him. "I find you completely unfunny."
"Another doubtful affirmation," Liam said with an amused smile. He trailed after her when she didn't look back.
They finished the patrol in silence, glancing around to check for naughty students sneaking out of bed to wander the corridors, or engage in illegal duels; but the only sound in the castle was the soft rhythmic pattern of their footsteps. Liam and Jamie returned to the Gryffindor common room after a rather painful hour, and Jamie stepped toward the staircase to her dorm, her eyes downcast.
"I'm free tomorrow."
She turned around, confused, as his voice broke the silence of the empty room. "Free?"
"You know… to study. You said you were having issues with Potions."
"Oh. Right." Jamie blushed, glancing back at Liam, but he couldn't make out her face in the semidarkness of the room. "That's… right. I'll see you tomorrow, then."
"At the library," Liam added. He stepped toward his own dorm and put one foot on the first step. "After breakfast. Don't be late."
"I won't."
Jamie watched him disappear into the boys' dorms and then hurried up the stairs to her own dormitory, where she collapsed over her bed, her heart racing.
The library was shrouded in silence when Jamie crossed the threshold the following morning. Her stomach jumped anxiously as she pushed open the heavy doors. She was so full of nervous energy that the simple task of getting a spoon full of oats into her mouth had proved completely impossible, so she had abandoned her feeble attempts at breakfast, ditched her friends with a quickly concocted lie, and hurried out of the Great Hall. Her fingers anxiously toyed with a box of mints in her pocket as she walked through the mostly empty stacks. Just in case Liam decided to sit a little too close…
He was already there, sitting beside a window with several Potions book piled in front of him. Jamie approached softly and sat next to him. The smile he flashed her was enough to sweep her off her feet.
"Ready for a morning of exhaustive studies?" Liam asked.
"Completely," Jamie said, though all she could think about at that moment, as he gazed at her, was mostly limited to wondering what his lips would taste like. Right now. She anxiously squeezed the box of mints again, giving her head a mental shake.
It took all of her to pay full attention to Liam's teaching. He asked her several questions to see where she was lacking, and after listening to her mostly fabricated answers, he thoroughly explained several important topics they had covered in the past few weeks. Jamie nodded seriously, made eye contact often, and took detailed notes as he spoke. She knew she couldn't allow her mind to wander after she had asked him for help; she needed to be present and show him that not only was she was utterly intelligent, but she was also willing to ask for help when needed, and willing to learn.
He talked about bezoars, healing potions, and explained the intricacies of the effects of lunar light on ingredient harvesting. Jamie listened carefully to every word, nodding along and asking questions, and doing her best to pretend that he was providing her new information. They were studying for nearly two hours when Liam closed the book he was holding and glanced at her seriously.
"I don't understand why you asked for my help, Jamie. You clearly know all of this already."
"I don't know everything," she mumbled as she blushed furiously. Had she been that obvious?
"Like what, for example?"
Several things rushed through her mind and she even considered stealing a kiss at that very moment, just to distract him. His lips were so inviting, and he smelled fresh and citrusy – and it all made her feel so incredibly airheaded that she thought she might need his help with Potions for real. She swallowed hard; thinking about Renee's words over the break… was she ready to tell him the truth?
"There are a few things I don't know, Evans," Jamie said, trying to keep her voice steady. "For example, why does the Giant Squid prefer cereal to oatmeal? Or, why does Stella think she's a better Quidditch player than me?"
"None of that has anything to do with Potions."
"I know," Jamie continued. "Which raises another question. Why did you agree to help me study, when you clearly despise me?"
Liam blinked at her. "I don't despise you."
"Yes, you do," Jamie said resentfully. "You walk around, all friends with Snape, who's a total train-wreck, and–"
"What does Serena have to do with anything?"
"She likes you! And everyone knows it," Jamie said, trying to keep her voice even. She felt like she was slipping off the edge – losing control of herself.
"That's ridiculous," Liam said. "And I'm still missing your point."
"My point is…" Jamie took a deep breath. "I like you. And everyone knows that, too."
Liam blushed furiously in the early morning light streaming in through the windows.
"And what's the problem with that?" he asked, maintaining his composure.
"The problem, is that you find me presumptuous, unable to behave, annoying, and an awful person in general," Jamie ground out through gritted teeth. She didn't think she could stand it, if he reiterated any of those things right now. Her hand reached instinctively toward her bag, as if preplanning her getaway.
Liam frowned. "I don't recall ever saying any of those things."
"Maybe not," she mumbled, "but I bet you've thought about it."
He actually giggled. "I won't deny that I think you're a bit arrogant sometimes, and that I wish you didn't walk around hexing strangers. But there are other things worth mentioning…"
"Like my inability to change."
"I didn't mean it like that, Jamie," Liam said, running his fingers through his ginger hair as he glanced at her again, his eyes a little guilty. "You're very different from the girl you used to be. You may not notice it, but you're more mature and focused… and I actually find it remarkable how much you have changed. And I love that you have such strong principles, and you're willing to fight for what you believe in. That's really commendable."
Jamie sorted. "Yeah, right. I'm hardly a well-behaved angel that follows every single rule. Is that what you want me to be?"
"No," Liam said, and Jamie glanced at him with a frown. "I wouldn't want that… because that wouldn't be you and, to be perfectly honest, it would be a bit boring."
"You're just being polite as usual, Evans," Jamie said, letting out her breath in a huff. She glanced down at her notes so she wouldn't have to look at him. "Don't pretend you don't despise my recklessness."
Liam laughed. "I used to. I confess. However, you've grown to be much more than just a reckless little girl. You've more than proved that you're an outstanding witch, and the fact that Dumbledore made you Head Girl is evidence enough that you're remarkable."
Jamie frowned. "You're praising me. Why?"
"Because I've just realized that I don't praise you nearly enough." Liam shrugged. "Maybe I should do it more often, considering everything."
"Considering what, Evans?" Jamie asked, annoyed by his shadiness.
"I'm not the kind of guy that walks around professing what I'm feeling, all right?" Liam said. "I'm quite reserved, and I enjoy having a few secrets. I also tend to step back and wait until I feel completely confident. It makes me pretty happy, actually, that you think I despise you… because that means I'm skilful enough to not let anything show."
"What are you even talking about?" Jamie said, glaring at him.
"That I've been keeping a comfortable distance," he said, locking his eyes on hers. "I've been holding back. After everything that happened two years ago, it was hard not to loathe you… but we've all learned from that. We grew up. It was impossible not to notice that change. Not only in you, but in all of us. You caught my eye, Jamie. You go to the end of the world and beyond for your friends. You want to fight and make a difference. You are, as strange as this may sound, exactly what I've been looking for."
Jamie stared at him, her mouth hanging slightly open. Her heart seemed to be speeding up in her chest. "Come again?"
"You said you like me, and that everyone knows it," he said. "But what nobody knows is that… I like you too."
Jamie felt like her heart literally stopped as she started into his beautiful green eyes. Her fingers squeezed once more around the box of mints.
Holy Merlin.
"All right," Stella said, plopping down on Jamie's bed and hugging a pillow to her chest. "Explain it one more time."
Jamie sighed with happiness as she glanced around at her friends with flushed cheeks. She tried to keep her voice even as she shrugged half-heartedly and said, "He said he likes me."
"And you didn't kiss?" Stella frowned.
"Not all of us need to jump on top of a man as soon as he says he likes us," Patty remarked.
"You witches are terribly boring." Stella rolled her eyes.
"Please, continue," Renee said, ignoring Stella.
"He asked me out on a date." Jamie smiled. "We'll get to know each other outside of our duties as Head Boy and Girl, and outside of the barrier of being classmates."
"Uh huh," Stella said, smirking. "I bet ten galleons that you'll be making out by the end of the date."
Jamie rolled her eyes.
"I guess you didn't have to change after all," Renee said, smiling.
"No, I did. Just not the way I thought I had to," Jamie said. "I didn't have to give up on being myself to make him like me. I just… grew up. I'm still reckless, and I'm still a prankster; but in his words I'm also reliable, and a good friend, and ready to fight for what's right. He said he thinks I'm impressive!" Her face turned up into a huge grin at these words, until she as beaming around at all of them, unable to contain herself.
"And are you sure he wasn't drunk when he said that?" Stella asked. Jamie threw a pillow at her and she fell back on the bed, laughing, and rolled off it onto the floor. "I'm joking, you silly doe!"
"And what about Snivelly?" Patty asked, as Jamie and Renee dissolved into giggles.
"He said they're just good friends," Jamie said with a shrug, when she had gotten hold of herself again. "That's good enough for me."
"You're so caramelly-in-love that I'm getting a sugar high," Stella complained, climbing back up off the floor and plopping down on the bed again.
"Oh no," Jamie said seriously. "We can't have that. Maybe you should see Madam Pomfrey for some Calming Draught, Padfoot."
Stella picked up both pillows and threw them at Jamie's head.
"If I'm going to detention, I'm taking you with me, Head Girl!"
The four of them dissolved into more giggles as a pillow fight broke out in earnest.
The days leading up to Jamie and Liam's first date were full of expectation. The snow lay thick and calm upon the ground and the lake water was so cold that the Giant Squid could be seen sticking its tentacles above the surface to warm up a little bit. Jamie, on the other hand, was constantly shaking with nervous energy as she dwelled on the upcoming date weekend in Hogsmeade, which didn't seem to be drawing nearer in the slightest.
Stella, Renee, and Patty were also suffering from the same anxiety, mainly because Jamie wouldn't stop worrying about everything that could go wrong and end her chances with the love of her life; and she also wouldn't stop talking about it at every opportunity. It didn't matter how many words of encouragement her girlfriends offered, Jamie was simply incapable of listening; she was too busy being lost inside her own mind, thinking about the upcoming date, and praying that everything would go perfectly.
When the day finally arrived, she nearly flew down to the Great Hall to eat breakfast with her friends, so she'd have time to return to her common room to brush her teeth, shove her pack of mints in her pocket, and cloak herself in some more perfume. She was just starting to feel like everything would be all right, when she accidently bumped into a raven-haired girl in her rush to exit the Great Hall.
"Snape," Jamie said solemnly as she drew back abruptly. "Sorry about that." Apologizing to Serena made her skin crawl a little, but Liam thought she had grown up, and she was not about to prove him wrong on the morning of their very first date.
"Potter," Serena replied in a bored monotone. "Excited for your date?"
"Why do you ask?" Jamie hissed. "Planning to ruin everything in the first opportunity? Am I right?" The thought made her anxiety return full throttle.
"I'd never do that," Serena said, rolling her eyes. "All I want is for Liam to be happy. Even if it is with a stupid git like you."
"Sure. I just hope, for your sake, that you don't try to steal him from me," Jamie said. "I'll be watching."
"And I hope, for your sake, that you deserve him," Serena shot back. "I'll be watching." She shot Jamie a contemptuous glare and then turned and walked away toward the dungeons.
Serena's words followed Jamie all the way to Gryffindor Tower and down to the carriages, where Liam was waiting for her. She didn't tell him anything about the exchange, but kept glancing at him anxiously as they rode to the village. Is that what he meant, when he said that they had all grown up? Had Serena changed to such an extent that she was willing to give up on Liam, so that he could be happy? Jamie wondered if she'd ever be able to do such thing. It didn't made sense to her, and it bothered her that Liam could see Serena as someone more mature, just because she was able to make such choice.
They went to Madam Puddifoot's for tea, where it didn't take long for Liam to notice Jamie's uneasiness. The atmosphere was a little strange – mainly because it was their first date, but also because Jamie still felt threatened by Serena.
"Is there something wrong?" Liam asked, putting down his teacup and glancing at her.
Jamie raised her eyes to look at him, no longer able to pretend that the remains of her tea were in any way interesting. "No."
He raised his eyebrows and waited in silence.
"I mean… yes, kind of."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"You'll think I'm silly," Jamie mumbled, glancing down at her cup again. Her tea leaves were making incredibly interesting patterns at the bottom of her cup. Maybe if she had taken Divination, she would've been able to decipher them. Then maybe she would be able to have all the answers to her questions without risking upsetting Liam.
He let out a short laugh. "I already do."
Jamie sighed and let a small smile form on her face. "I know you're friends with Serena… and I respect that. But, I still feel like you two might… belong together."
Liam laughed, and the sound made Jamie frown. She kept staring stubbornly down at her tea leaves.
"Jamie, tell me, who's sitting here with me."
"I am," she mumbled.
"And who did I ask on a date?"
"Me."
"Exactly," he said. "I've never seen Serena as more than a friend."
"But she doesn't see you as just a friend," Jamie said, glancing up at him at last. Her hazel eyes met his green ones.
"I love Serena," Liam said, looking resolutely into her eyes, "but not like that. She's my best friend. We've been through some awful moments, and I'm glad to have her back. Above everything, I'm glad that she's happy for me. That's what friends are for."
"But what if you wake up one day and realize that she's the one?" Jamie asked, letting her fear get the best of her.
He shrugged. "Then everything will change."
Jamie gripped her teacup tightly. "I don't want things to change."
Liam smiled. "Me neither."
They stared at each other for several moments. Finally, Jamie grinned.
"You haven't changed at all, Evans."
"I beg to differ," Liam said, amused. "I've changed a lot. You see, I used to think you were just an arrogant git, but now I really want to kiss your goddamn arrogant lips."
After years of arguments, it was odd to see Liam Evans and Jamie Potter peacefully strolling around the castle together. It was a change no one saw coming, but that, in an odd way, seemed to make sense.
Even Serena was happier. She walked around the grounds with more confidence, no longer afraid that she was about to suddenly be struck by a hex, or annoyed by Jamie and her friends. She even stepped back a little bit, glad to see her best friend – and her unrequited love – so happy. She just hoped that it was something that would, someday, change inside her own heart as well.
Some things are thought to be immutable, but the truth is, nothing is forever. Rocks are slowly changed by the touch of the waves, and a shipwreck will slowly be covered with algae and anemones, until it is something else entirely – no longer broken, but simply beautiful.
What every change has in common, however, is the unnoticed passage of time.
A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I hope you liked it and don't forget to leave a review. I'll love to know your opinion!