Final Fantasy VII Haiku
by Orpheus, Kissy-chan, and the Strap-on of Fayth
A/N: I don't own FF, Square Enix, SquareSoft, softball, or anything else remotely interesting.
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Angst on, blonde hero!
But we all know what's hidden
behind that big sword
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Big titty Tifa
She can knock you out with her
Fists or her boobies
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"DAMN! SHIT! RANDOM CURSE!"
Behind that hard illusion
One big fucking gun
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What are you smoking?
Cid curses like a sailor
And dry-humps his ship
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My magic rapes all
I have the best Limit Break
And then I just die
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I'm Poopie Sad Face
If Lucrecia had lived
She would have killed ME
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Stupid tinker cat
Pointless fucking character
Megaphone weapon?
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Ha! I'm a ninja
No, I'm just a glorified
Fan-service excuse
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Nanaki is me
Wait...or is it Red Thirteen?
What the fuck AM I?
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I was human once
And now I'll blow up the world
What the fuck am I?
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I am President
I'm also YAOI fodder
Give me my man-meat
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I am in the Turks
I too am YAOI fodder
Give me my Rufus
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That jerk stole my hair
That bastard stole my girl, too
But, God...I want him
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…..
…....
I love you, Reno.
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Red haired irritant
Ends every sentence with 'Yo'
But he's so damned cute
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Chocobos are cute
Who would have ever thought that
They taste like chicken?
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I was a Turk, too
But I don't get a spot here
Just 'cause I'm a girl
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Moogles are cute, too
But I have to say, they cook
One mean chocobo
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Materia rules
It takes a year to set up
And seconds to die
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Fuck! Ruby Weapon!
I risk life and limb for a
Gambling addiction!
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Under the dark depths
Emerald Weapon doth lurk
Can you hold your breath?