Queen of Cups
by Jade Vyle
Rating: R, for drug usage, copious amounts of sexual situations and violence. All that good stuff. No graphic lovin' in this one though, maybe next time. Pairing: Buffy/ Faith Summary: It's been two years, and the Slayers are all grown up.... Disclaimer: Joss Whedon has everything I don't have. Damn you, Joss, damn you. But then again, I'm a poor high-schooler with no car and no girlfriend. *Waaaahhh!* Author's Shameless Self-Promo: This is a WIP, I have plans to make more installments when I have the time...huhuhuh, actually, I'm just a shameless lazy-ass who hates high school and never does her homework. If you like the song in this story, you should check out my band, The Vylynt. The song used in this installement is "bad humans". Oh ya..and I used lyrics from Marilyn Manson's cover of "Tainted Love" just because I can.
Dedication...to my dear lovies, Duckling, Mad Hatter, and Angel...my bitches, my fans, my critics, my inspirations...I wuv yall. And to my own little Buffy who's waiting out there for me...I love you sweetie, please keep waiting, I'll find you again.
Prologue:
In my mind, she's all around me.
A blur of mahogany hair and melted Hershey's Kiss eyes. Quick, flashing smiles and a low, throaty laugh. She is a chaotic whirlwind of a girl. My partner, my Slayer, my Faith. She dogs me wherever I go. There is no hiding from her.
Faith is an enigma, a charisma, a charm to dangle in front of sad eyes. She belongs with me, in my arms where she is safe. Safe, from the men that mar her skin, and bruise her soul. She'll be independent and lonely, because of these men, and if it wasn't for me, she'd be that way forever.
We had a sordid past together, my love and I. We died a thousand violent deaths together, both from the evil ones and from ourselves. But that's not important. Or is it?
I remember seeing her with Angel, intimate and too close. I hear Riley say he slept with her/me. I feel the deep-seeded betrayal of her and the Mayor. Xander saying he lost his virginity to her, Willow angry about what she did to Tara, Giles tearing into me for spending too much time with her. But there's also her pain. Her blood on her own knife as I rammed it into her stomach, the shock and pain so clear on her beautiful face. The way she looked, gone to the world in the sleep of the nearly-dead. Her lips on my face, somehow cynical. Her eyes, as she looks at me, back in her own body. The fact that I love her beyond the physical and mental, the pain and solitude of life. That I've always loved her, from her first words to me, even through Riley, Angel and Spike, all of whom are gone.
That will haunt me the most. When I kill her. ~ Chapter One: Queen of The Damned
what did you see in the mirror when you were me smudged black mascara, strong, insane and feeble or did you put me in that little box marked evil?
bad humans, we're all bad humans, we take and we abuse it we're all bad humans, bad humans
The brunette singer tossed her sweaty hair out of her face, and glanced at her audience of screaming people. The pulsing, seething mass looked like a creature to her, a demon with a face she knew. She grabbed the mic in both hands and sang the song with a violent intensity.
why am i so goddamned cruel to all the people i use so hurt me don't worry i'm good at being abused i'm bad and i can't stop now
Buffy watched the show through her eyelashes, standing in a black hooded cloak near the entrance to The Baddies, a club in the bad part of Brooklyn, New York. She kept her eyes trained on the traitor singer, ignoring the men who wandered around her in a hopeful fog. The lead singer was by turns raging and purring at the wildly moshing crowd, screaming her anthem to the mob. Buffy snorted derisively and sipped her drink. The raucious sounds issuing from the young woman's throat could have been love songs, sung by a pantheon of battered crows.
When the set ended, the brunette smiled almost shyly at her audience, said a few words, then slipped into the darkness with the rest of her band, all of whom, Buffy noticed, were vampires.
*Playing with evil again, Faith? Haven't you learned?* She thought, conviently forgetting about her liasons with Spike and Angel for a moment.
"I found you, Faith, " she said aloud, much to the confusion of the boy working up his courage to ask her to dance. "and now it's just you....and me."
She deposited her drink in a trashcan and headed backstage. Payback was a bitch and a half. ~~~~ Faith stumbled over her steel-toed boots at the entrance to backstage, slumping against the wall. Her bandmates gave her contemptous looks and continued on, ignoring her.
"Well, fuck you too." She whispered, wiping blood from her bitten lip with the back of her hand. She limped on, stopping to stare at herself in the hallway mirror. Her eyes were smudged with black eyeliner and bloodshot with dark circles under them. Her skin was startlingly white from never seeing the sun, and her hair looked black against it, curling in snake tendrils around her narrow shoulders. She was unhealthily skinny, and her eyes were vacant and pain-filled.
*God, I look like shit.* She tried to smile, but winced at the resulting effect. *I'm five by five*, she thought for the millionth time in her life. *I can handle me.*
Faith stumbled on past the groupies and crew, who stared at her, then whispered cruelly to eachother, smiling viciously at her. "A tame Slayer...what a joke." Fighting off the urge to smack some of them, she continued down the corridor, to her room. She leaned against her door to close it and practically fell onto her bed. The room was draped in dark reds and blacks, so no speck of sunlight would squeeze in. It was lavish, expensive, but spare, and there were no wooden objects in it. The vampires may not be afraid of her anymore, but they weren't stupid.
She closed her eyes and tried to put a blanket over her unruly thoughts. But always, at the back of everything, she could hear it. The sound of her own unraveling. ~~~~~
Buffy had finangled her way into the backstage wings by begging to be Faiths 'sister from Atlanta', batting her eyelashes, and using her best 'Good Girl Buffy' voice. When the security gaurd didn't seem convinced, she sighed, and leaned forward to display her ample cleavage. He let her in.
She kept her hood pulled around her face, as she walked through the wings, ignoring the catcalls and cries of 'hey baby, lemme see your neck'. All the people in here were vampires, and she couldn't risk one of them recognising her, and causing a panic. She passed vamps drinking, vamps feeding, and vamps fucking, her senses causing all of the hairs on her neck to raise and tingle. She felt like the proverbial sacrificial lamb, pushed in to swim with the sharks. She kept her hand on the stake hidden in a holster at her back, and kept walking until she saw a crude sign stating "The Slayer....entr at yor on risk."
Buffy turned down the narrow hallway, the walls streaked with blood and worse, empty beer bottles and smashed glass underfoot. She wrinkled her nose at the cloying, sickening smell of decay and death. She almost felt sorry for-no. Faith chose to live like this, it was her own fault. Loud, raucious music pulsed as she got closer to the door. ..once I ran to you now I run from you this tainted love you've given I give you all a boy could give you take my tears and that's not nearly...ohh Tainted Love, tainted love...
Buffy smiled brutally. *Tainted love, how ironic. This is the song you'll die to, my Faith.*
Faith looked up at the opening of the door, squinting her eyes at the unfamiliar brightness that the door allowed in. A shapeless figure in a black hooded cloak stood in the doorway, silent. She clicked the off button on her remote and the music quit abruptly, leaving them in stark silence. A scent wafted to her atuned nostrils, soft and femine. *Where do I know that from?*
"Who are you?" She asked, trying to place the scent. The figure said nothing, but closed the door, sheathing the room in opaque darkness. Faith felt fear and panic well up in her, she was still dressed in her preformance outfit, vinyl pants, and a red and black lace-up corset. She had no weapon but a small switchblade, completely inefectual against a vampire. Oh God, she was going to get raped again.
"Listen, I don't know what they told you, but I don't fuck for money any more."
The figure laughed shortly. Faith stiffened. "Oh, still a slut I see?"
She knew that voice. That voice beloged to someone she thought she'd never see again. "Long time no see, B. What, Sunnydale not vamped enough for ya?" She drew her drugged body into a defensive crouch.
Buffy laughed harshly, droping her hood and crossing to the bed. She trailed her fingers on the plush velvet comforter, and leaned down to glance at Faith, their eyes only a foot away. Emerald blazed into mahoghany.*Too close,* Faith thought, *she's always too goddamned close.* "You dyed your hair. " She commented casually, noting the soft brown color.
"Actually, no. I was a bottle blonde. Which you should have known."
Faith ignored the reference to the Katra spell, speaking slowly and non- threateningly. "What do you want with me, Buffy?"
*Nothing I can have. Damnit! I don't care about her, I don't. God, but she looks gorgeous, I forgot how beautiful she is...No! I hate her! Hate her!* B shook her head violently, and focused on her anger, her hate. She drew it around her like a black coat.
"Actually? Answers. From you."
"And what if I don't feel like playing Twenty Questions with you?"
A slow, terrifying grin spread like a plague across Buffy's face, brighting her eyes with a strange, sadistic light. "Then I just kill you sooner."
Faith felt bile rise in her throat. She hadn't practiced or worked out in ages, just shot up and listened to music all day. If B attacked her, she'd be down in a second. There was no chance. She tried to sound like she wasn't beaten.
"Alrighty. Fire away."
Buffy stood up and stalked over to the single other piece of furniture besides the entertainment system, an overstuffed armchair. She settled herself in it.
"Why did you come to Sunnydale?" The younger slayer snorted. "You know why. I was called." "But why did you stay? By the Council's laws, you could have left if you wanted to."
"I didn't want to."
Buffy shot her a glare to see if she was kidding, but Faith's eyes were dead serious. The older girl shook her head to clear it and went on. "Why not go to London, then, and face justice for what you did?" Faith laughed bitterly, which turned into a hacking cough. "B, you have a lot to learn about the Council's so-called justice." She subtly put a hand to her lower back. Buffy ignored it, writing it off as a Faith mind-game, and continued.
"Why did you confess?" "Because I...I felt sick, like something had died inside of me, and I couldn't get it back. I wanted to be abused, I-fuck, I wanted to pay for what I'd done." Buffy glared at her threateningly. "Don't try that, Faith." "What?" "Try that 'oh I've changed' bullshit. I'm going to kill you, no matter what you do." "Why?" Buffy stared at her in shock. Faith looked sad, but her eyes met Buffy's and for a moment B felt herself soften. *Damnit! Take back control! She would have killed you!* She reminded herself fiercely. *But she didn't,* another voice whispered. *She could have, but she didn't.*
"I ask the questions, Faith. Why did you sleep with Riley?" "To prove that all men are beasts and you should've lo-picked another man." "Do you love Angel?" That made the other Slayer laugh. "Dead-boy? He was a friend, nothing more." "Why did you kiss me?"
Silence filled the room. Their eyes met, and then Faith looked away. This angered Buffy. "Answer me, damnit!" She yelled, getting up and crossing to stand over Faith. "Why did you do it?!" Again, silence. Buffy couldn't take it anymore. She grabbed Faith, slammed her against the wall, and began shaking her violently, banging the other girls head against the wall.
"Why did you do it, you bitch?! Why did you leave?! Why, Faith?! Why'd you come in and destroy *everything* I ever knew about life, and then leave me with it?! Why can't I get you out of my head?! WHY?! C'mon, answer me, YOU FUCKING WHORE!!"
Faith didn't reply, taking the beating in silence. Buffy screamed in frustration, and began punching and attacking her viciously, her blows landing with all the force she had in her. She was crying as she did it, crying because she hated loving Faith, and she hated herself for hating hating loving Faith. She howled at her, curses and obscenities, demanding that the younger girl fight back. But the brunette just shook her head and took it. Finally, Buffy just grabbed Faith's head between her palms and forced the girl to look at her. She screamed in Faith's pale face.
"Why did you do it, Faith?! Why?! Why?!"
Suddenly, the brunette grabbed Buffy's arms and forced them off of her. She panted heavily, her eyes dull and glazed, but somehow burning.
"You wanna know, B?! You think you wanna know?! You think you can just come in to my life and...I hate you, B! I *fucking* hate you! You wanna know *why*?! Cause I loved you, B! I love you!"
Buffy stared at her in shock. Faith's eyes met hers for a second, wearily, then slid to look at the floor. She spoke slowly, as if the words took an effort. Faith's heart was beating violently, and she knew why. She didn't have much time left before she passed out.
"So, just kill me, Buff. Just kill me..'cause..I love you...and I'll never stop...so, just kill me."
Buffy was in shock. She let go of Faith, stepping away in a daze. Faith slumped against the wall, her head lolling on her flower-stem neck. The older Slayer's mind raced, and she felt her hate and rage slipping away like a swift-moving stream. She tried to grab a hold of it, desperately trying to cling to the one thing that had kept her going for four years. But it was gone, and she felt lighter, brighter. Her body felt different, loosened. Acceptance flooded her like a sweet sickness. She stared at the woman in front of her, for the first time realizing how much she..had feelings for the badass Slayer.
"Faith?" She said, confused and scared, touching the other woman's arm, hesitantly. "Faith?"
The name felt good on her lips, and she said it again, her mouth quirking into something like a half-smile. Faith's eyes were half-lidded and blank, but a hand reached up to touch Buffy's face. Buffy flinched reflexively, but didn't move to remove the hand.
"B..."
Suddenly, Faith pitched forward, falling into unconsciousness. Buffy gave a surprised cry as Faith crumpled into a heap, her Slayer reflexes saving the younger girl from the floor. She cradled the other woman in her arms, on her knees, suddenly terrified.
"Faith?!"
Oh God...she'd killed her. She'd killed the woman she...cared for. Desperately, her fingers searched for a pulse on the soft white neck. She breathed a sigh of insane relief, as she found Faith's heartbeat, fast and erratic, but there. Dimly, she realized Faith should lie down, so she staggered to her feet with her partner in her arms. To her surprise, the former voracious eater weighed next to nothing.
Buffy laid Faith down on the bed, carefully adjusting her head on the pillow, kissing the girl's forehead, barely aware that she did so. As she pulled away to take off Faith's clothes and tuck her in, she noticed the inside of Faith's right arm. It was purpled with injection bruises, from heroin needles. ~~~ Chapter Two: Sunlight
B felt a sick feeling pervade her senses. The bruises were violent and ugly, on both of Faith's arms, telling the horrible truth. She reeled away from the bed, staring in horrified fascination at the bruises. She could barely comprehend what she was seeing. An unknown impulse caused her to check under the bed, where she found a small pile of discarded needles and coke mirrors.
"Aw, fuck....Faith..." She said sadly, staring at the unconscious girl.
She remembered vaguely her Health teacher's instructions on heroin in high school. *People who use it are usually depressed and angry inside. They feel as if they have nothing to lose, and no one to care.* Buffy choked back a sob, remembering her harsh words to Faith, that night at Angel's.
"I'm sorry." She whispered to Faith. "I'm sorry."
She began to undress her friend, methodically and without full realization of the intimate act she was preforming. She slid off the black vinyl pants, sheathing Faith's beautiful long legs. The younger Slayer was wearing black bikini panties with a spray of little gold flowers in the middle, and lace around the edges. Buffy swallowed hard at the urgent need to bury her head in betweed those firm, pale thighs. She brushed it off as adrenaline from the fight and began unlacing the corset. After she removed it, she blushed, seeing that Faith wore no bra under it. Averting her hungry eyes, she found two black duffel bags by the foot of the bed, presumably carrying Faith's things.
Sure enough, she found a simple black tank top with spagettii straps that would serve. She didn't bother looking for pajama bottoms, she knew Faith often slept nude or in panties. Buffy was sickened to see a small pile of heroin and coke in baggies under the first layer of clothes. She gathered up all the drugs and needles she could find, and threw the lot of it out the window in the bathroom. Feeling better, and slightly self-righteous, she returned to the bed, carefully dressed and put Faith under the coverlet, smoothing the blankets around her. Needing to use the restroom, she went into the bathroom, and found it to be altogether too neat. There were no cosmetics piled haphazardly on the counter, and clothes did not decorate the floor. In fact, the only signs that a girl had been here at least three days, were bottles of sweet-smelling shampoo and conditioner, a pink razor, and some body wash.
Exhaustion plagued her suddenly, and she took off her own clothes, leaving only her white cotton bikinis and her black t-shirt. She folded both their clothes and laid them neatly on the chair, her inner neat-freak taking over.
For a long time she stood by the side of the bed, watching Faith sleep. She had no worries about the heinous amount of drugs in the other girls system; Slayers got rid of alchohol and drugs quicker than they could consume them. Other than a strong need to pee in the morning, Faith would be fine. What plagued her was the fact that she intended to sleep in the bed, with Faith. She had no idea where these lesbian tendancies came from, but whenever she was around the dark girl, they rose up. Buffy wanted so much, in the back of her head, to just accept the fact that she..*loved* Faith, but she could never admit it. Until now.
She gave up finally, climbing into bed with the other Slayer, letting her own resevations fly out the window and snuggling close. Faith's skin was soft and warm, and she spooned her, wrapping her arms about the narrow waist, her head buried in Faith's shoulder. She breathed in the soft scent of the brunette, enjoying the quivers it sent through her. Finally, she slept. ~~~ Some time during the night, Faith woke up to the sensation of someone kissing her shoulder and neck. It was rapturous. She moaned slightly, her eyes opening with a start as she realized who must be doing it.
She rolled over, and into the arms of a smiling Slayer. Buffy was propped up on one elbow looking down on Faith, one arm pulling her closer, snug and protective around the other girls' waist.
"Hi. " Buffy said sweetly, placing a small kiss on Faith's temple. Faith closed her eyes. *Please don't let this be a trip, please don't let this be a trip...*
"It's not a trip. " Buffy laughed, her voice soft and husky. The other girl blushed as she realized she had spoken aloud. Buffy cupped her face in one hand, thinking about how cute Faith looked when she blushed. She was shocking herself, and somewhere a mean little voice was screaming at her to stop, but she wasn't listening. She was caught up in the plumpness of Faith's lower lip.
"I love you. " B said suddenly, loving the way the words tasted in her mouth. She said it again, to Faith's shocked eyes, triumphantly.
"I love you, Faith." Again, and again she said it, laughing and crying now, tears mingling with the smile she'd held back for so long.
"I love you. I love you. I loveyouloveyouloveyoulo-" She was cut off as Faith surged upwards, kissing the tears off of her face, laughing and crying as well. Their mouths met as perfectly as if they'd planned it, the tears on their faces mingling as their toungues explored and dueled eachother for control. Buffy loved the kisses, and drew Faith back down to her when the other Slayer came up for breath, taking that inticing plump lip into her mouth and sucking on it. They seemed to lose hours like this, lost in the new feelings and sensations. Buffy didn't know where her mouth ended and Faith's began anymore, nor did she care. All she wanted was to keep kissing her friend, her partner, her lover.*Lover*. God, she had a lover! She'd never been more estatic, more elated.
Faith, for her part, was nervous and shy at first, but then began to relax into it. She'd been with women before, but none of it compared to Buffy's soft, sweet mouth, and the little sighes she was making. She kept her arms chastely around Buffy's neck, occasionally twining into the soft brown hair. Buffy, however, was eager and adventurous, her amorous hands sliding up and down Faith's sides, stopping to pet the soft skin of her hip. Faith moaned, deep and throaty, and the sound of it sent a pool of moisture between Buffy's thighs. The older girl had never felt so wet before, and she was desperate to know if Faith was the same. Without warning, she slipped a hand between Faith's thighs and cupped her wetness through her panties.
Faith broke off from the kiss with a cry, arching her back. Buffy was fascinated, and she slipped a finger in to explore the soft, wet petals. Faith cried out Buffy's name, but grabbed the other girl's wrist, staying her tempting hand. Buffy looked questioningly at her, a little hurt. "What is it? Did I do something wrong?"
Faith kissed her softly, withdrawing B's hand. "No, no. I just think I'd better go to the bathroom first. And I need a shower, I'm still sweaty from the show, and plus, I don't wanna be dirty and shit tomorrow."
Buffy smiled beguilingly, placing her hand on Faith's thigh, causing the brunette to shiver. "All right, but can I join you? To conserve water, of course. "
Faith didn't know what to do or think. She had no idea where this new-found confidence and sex-appeal had come from. Buffy had always seemed like such an ice-queen, but now....
Faith shivered again. "Of couse. To conserve water. "
Their eyes met, and an arousal so strong it would have killed a vampire, crackled between them like a high-tension wire. Faith felt like a balloon about to burst with happiness. ~~~~~~ The pair shed their clothes in the adjacent room outside the shower stall, turning their backs to eachother. Faith was nervous about her body, and self-conscious of her scars and paleness. Buffy was nervous too, but more about the fact that she would be sharing a shower with the person she loved, and then making love to her. *Making love?! Oh god...* She wasn't sure she'd be good enough. Sure, there was that one time with Willow, but she hadn't been with a woman since. She wanted to be good for Faith.
Buffy tested the water and adjusted the spray before stepping in. She held back the plateglass door, as a shy Faith entered. She stifled a giggle; she'd never seen a stranger sight than a nervous Faith. Then she stopped laughing altogether, as she gazed upon her lover's body.
Faith's skin was pale, and her breasts were firm and full, with dark rose- colored nipples, tightened with arousal. Buffy's gaze traveled further, past the tight, flat belly, complete with navel ring, jutting hipbones, and the tiny patch of dark brown curls. Buffy was entranced.
The younger girl laughed nervously at her scrutiny. "Like what you see?" She said, trying for cocky and confident.
B returned her gaze to the other girl, and smiled, kissing her soft mouth. Her hands came up to cup Faith's breasts, running her thumbs over the hardened peaks. "You're beautiful. " She whispered into Faith's ear. "So beautiful."
She leaned down and swirled her toungue around a rosy nub. Faith gasped her name, draping her arms around B's neck. Neither noticed the bathroom door open and a figure step in.
"Well, isn't this lovely?" The Slayers whirled around, coming face to face with one of Faith's bandmates, Atkiel, the drummer, who regularly raped and beat Faith. He stood with a smirk on his vamped face, his arms crossed as he regarded them.
"Aww, Jade found a girlfriend." Atkiel said, using the alias he knew Faith by. "C'mere my little treat, let Atkiel taste you."
He stepped forward to Buffy, who slammed a punch into his face. While he staggered back, Buffy lept from the shower and ran bare-assed to the bedroom. She searched frantically among her cloak for her stake, and finding it, ran back into the bathroom, angered beyond reason.
Faith cowered on the tile floor, hands gaurding her face,as Atkiel viciously beat her, and pinched her nipples by turns. She didn't know where B had gone, but a part of her desperately hoped the older girl had escaped, and managed to get away before Atkiel finished with *her*. Suddenly, Atkiel gave a cut-off yelp, and she peeked out to see him dusted before her eyes. Buffy stood there, stake in hand, chest heaving as she stared down at her cowering sister Slayer. She offered a hand and Faith took it, standing. Buffy hugged her, kissing her collarbone and neck, soothing her, as the other Slayer hiccuped and sobbed. Buffy had never seen Faith cry before, and it scared her. She tried to calm the girl as best she could, until she held Faith at arms length and regarded her.
"Why didn't you fight him? Why were you just...letting him?" Faith looked away, ashamed. "I..I.." Buffy forced her head back. "Look at me, Faith. Did he rape you?" Numbly, she nodded.
Buffy fought back a sob of pain. "Do they all do it?" Another nod. Buffy held her, stroking the soft skin of her back. She felt sick, and her mind reeled at the implications of it. "Why don't you kill them? Why don't you kill them all?"
Faith laughed. It was not a nice laugh. "Because I'm exactly what the Council said I was. A traitor. A murderer..I..I deserve it.."
"No! Faith, no." Buffy growled. "You're not a killer. You made a mistake, that's all. Please, Faith, look at me. *Look* at me. I love you, c'mon Faith.."
"No!" Faith screamed. Whirling around, she pointed to her lower back violently, her hands shaking. "Don't tell me that, B! Remember Willow?! And Xander?! And *you*?! Look at it, B! Look what being a murderer means!"
The slayer took in a sharp breath, and the bathroom swam before her eyes. She stared in horror at the markings on the small of Faith's back. Not markings, she amended, *carvings*. Someone had carved, so deep into the soft flesh that even a Slayer's healing abilities couldn't erase it completely, a demonic symbol, like a bi-sected triangle. Buffy searched her memory for Giles' lessons on demon runes, and remembered that this particular one, meant unclean, or traitor. *Traitor*.
No wonder. No wonder. Buffy leaned against her friend, barely able to stand for fury.
"Who did this to you?" She grated, barely able to contstrain her anger. Faith shuddered. "The Council...they..they took me out of prison, and they..." Buffy roared in rage and pain, startling her fellow Slayer. She stalked around the room, screaming obscenities at the Watchers' Council, and the traumas they were responsible for. Her tirade was pent-up frustration and rage that she had secreted inside of her, seething, waiting for it's chance to strike. So she screamed, and yelled and beat at the plateglass shower door with her fists, lightly so as not to break it. When at last, she ran out of breath, and rage, she stepped up to Faith, huddling in a corner. She gathered Faith to her and soothed her, trembling with the force of her empathy.
"It's okay, my love. This does not change a thing, a *thing*, between us, okay? I love you even more now, if that's possible. We're going to make them pay for this, all right? They'll pay for what they've done to us, to you. But you aren't a murderer. You're my Faith."
She liked the sound of that, so she said it again, kissing Faith's ear lovingly. Taking the other girls' hand, she led them both back into the shower, and turned the water back on, steaming up the room. Buffy kissed her (*Your Slayer?! Jesus, possesive much?!*) small, lovely Slayer and held her, whispering things to cajole Faith into laughing. Taking the body wash from the shower bench, she rubbed it into her hands, and then began soaping up Faith's body with it, gently scrubbing at some invisible dirt. Faith knew what Buffy was doing, and was touched by it. B was cleaning Faith, cleaning her of the handprints that evil had put on her, without her permission. She washed out Faith's sordid past, and rubbed in her love, like a safety blanket.
Buffy traced the scar that ran across her lover's flat belly, touching her own damage with her fingers. Faith watched her, silent and solemn, knowing it was important for Buffy to feel the scar. "Does it hurt?" Buffy said softly, pentient. Faith caught her head betwen soft hands and brought her up for a kiss. "Not anymore." ~~~~ Chapter Three: Find My Way Back Home
Faith awoke to the fact that there was another warm body snuggled close to hers. She was not, by any means, a cuddler-type of person, and she had instictively reached over to push the body away, when rememberance of the night before hit her, and she stopped in her tracks. She glanced up, and sure enough, B's sleeping face was nestled into her pillow, her soft arms in a death grip around Faith's waist, preventing any chance of escape by the dark Slayer.
Sighing, Faith settled back into the Slayer's arms to make the best of it. Apparently, during the night, Buffy had decided to make Faith into her own personal teddy bear, tucking Faith's lithe body against her chest, the dark girl's head resting on her collarbone. The position was comfortable, and slightly arousing, because they hadn't bothered to put on clothes after the shower, but Faith was unused to physical comfort, and it made her nervous. It took some time before she was able to fall back asleep, and when she did, her dreams were anxious, filled with B's confusing words; 'I love you.'
Buffy woke up a few hours later, happily burrowing her head into Faith's sweet-smelling hair. She lifted her head reluctantly to check the time on the digital clock radio that it seemed everyone had beside their beds. It was close to dawn, and the time when Buffy would normally be up training, but today, she wanted to sleep in. Faith felt soft and silky against her, so *right*, she couldn't begin to comprehend it. Something had changed, in her mind, and in her attitude. She felt relaxed, loose, not uptight and tense, as she had been ever since Faith left Sunnydale. Her mind was comlying with her change of heart, showing her pretty images of the future she and her new lover could have together. Dawn was in boarding school with Spike as her protector, Willow and Tara had their new place; they could have the house to themselves...
Speaking of lovers, they hadn't yet. Made love, that was. Buffy had been eager last night, her hands and body craving Faith's, but the younger Slayer had said she was tired, and Buffy was too inexperienced and nervous to push her. It irked her, slightly, that a woman willing to jump into bed with everything on two legs hadn't wanted to have sex with someone who actually loved her. But, she reminded herself, this was different. As she herself had said, *she* loved Faith, and none of those former lovers had. Maybe Faith was nervous. She found that hard to believe, even seeing Faith cry last night, but it was possible.
So they'd slept together, but only in the literal term.
Just then, she felt her love stir, and she propped herself up on one elbow to gaze at her waking beauty. The dark Slayer's eyes opened, unfocused and blinking like a newborn kitten, to look back at her. Buffy felt her heart melt and her stomach clench at Faith's shy smile.
"Hey...good morning." Buffy said, trying not to smile.
"G'morning.." Faith mumbled, stretching her arms, and unknowingly offering a prime view of her rosy tipped breasts. She checked the clock. "B, go back t'sleep...s'only 5:30 in th'fuckin' morning..."
"You have a cute morning voice."
"Go back t'sleep, B."
Buffy complied, and it was nightfall before she awoke again. Buffy stumbled out of bed, not waking Faith, who needed to sleep off her heroin dosage from the night before. Buffy had to use the bathroom, and she shut the door, deciding to take a bath. She luxiuriated in the warm water, knowing that the club's water bill would be ludicris and not caring. She discovered some lilac bath salts of Faith's, and poured them in, wanting to smell like her lover. Buffy contemplated their future together, ignoring the fact that they hadn't agreed to a relationship. They could move back to Sunnydale, after traveling for a while..the Scoobies would be upset at first, but then Buffy was sure they'd grow to love the other Slayer as much as she did, and after all, the Hellmouth was closed, but still needed twice the protection. She didn't know how she'd managed to cajole Giles into letting her go off to...she shuddered, remembering what her plan had been. The water sloshed. No, she wouldn't think about that now.
Buffy's idealistic visions of vacations to Rome, and an adopted little girl named Adrienne were shattered as she heard a loud thump from the room. She rushed out of the tub and grabbed her stake, hearing a scream that sounded like Faith's.
Droplets of water flying, she skidded into the bedroom, only to find Faith glaring at her, clothes strewn everywhere, the black bags empty. Faith's chest heaved, and she fixed Buffy with a baleful stare. "B...Where are my things?"
Buffy took one look at the disheveled room and an obvious withdrawal- suffering Faith, and knew what the other girl was talking about. She took a deep breath. "I threw them out."
Faith's voice was deadly calm. "I'm gonna ask again, B. Where. Are. MY. THINGS?!"
"You mean your drugs?!" Buffy hissed, her words biting into Faith. "You mean your death sentences?! Is that what you mean, Faith?!"
"That's none of your concern-"
"It is! It is my concern! I will *not* stand by and watch you kill yourself slowly! I won't do it, Faith, I won't." "It's not any of your *fucking* business! It's my right to-" "No Faith! No, you gave up that right last night when you said you loved me. It's not just your life anymore, it's mine too."
Faith screamed in frustrated rage as Buffy turned on her heel and marched back into the bathroom, still naked and lovely. She dropped to her knees, holding her head in her hands, shaking with supressed tears. No one had cared when her mother did it, least of all her stepfather. No one had cared when they whored Faith out for drug money. Why the *fuck* should anyone, even B, care now?! She numbly put on underwear and her favorite jeans, and was hooking her favorite purple lace bra, when Buffy came out of the bathroom, and at the same time, two vampires burst down the door.
To be continued.... hehehehe...ain't I a scamp. Feedback me if you want this to be continued...pretty_vacant334@hotmail.com
by Jade Vyle
Rating: R, for drug usage, copious amounts of sexual situations and violence. All that good stuff. No graphic lovin' in this one though, maybe next time. Pairing: Buffy/ Faith Summary: It's been two years, and the Slayers are all grown up.... Disclaimer: Joss Whedon has everything I don't have. Damn you, Joss, damn you. But then again, I'm a poor high-schooler with no car and no girlfriend. *Waaaahhh!* Author's Shameless Self-Promo: This is a WIP, I have plans to make more installments when I have the time...huhuhuh, actually, I'm just a shameless lazy-ass who hates high school and never does her homework. If you like the song in this story, you should check out my band, The Vylynt. The song used in this installement is "bad humans". Oh ya..and I used lyrics from Marilyn Manson's cover of "Tainted Love" just because I can.
Dedication...to my dear lovies, Duckling, Mad Hatter, and Angel...my bitches, my fans, my critics, my inspirations...I wuv yall. And to my own little Buffy who's waiting out there for me...I love you sweetie, please keep waiting, I'll find you again.
Prologue:
In my mind, she's all around me.
A blur of mahogany hair and melted Hershey's Kiss eyes. Quick, flashing smiles and a low, throaty laugh. She is a chaotic whirlwind of a girl. My partner, my Slayer, my Faith. She dogs me wherever I go. There is no hiding from her.
Faith is an enigma, a charisma, a charm to dangle in front of sad eyes. She belongs with me, in my arms where she is safe. Safe, from the men that mar her skin, and bruise her soul. She'll be independent and lonely, because of these men, and if it wasn't for me, she'd be that way forever.
We had a sordid past together, my love and I. We died a thousand violent deaths together, both from the evil ones and from ourselves. But that's not important. Or is it?
I remember seeing her with Angel, intimate and too close. I hear Riley say he slept with her/me. I feel the deep-seeded betrayal of her and the Mayor. Xander saying he lost his virginity to her, Willow angry about what she did to Tara, Giles tearing into me for spending too much time with her. But there's also her pain. Her blood on her own knife as I rammed it into her stomach, the shock and pain so clear on her beautiful face. The way she looked, gone to the world in the sleep of the nearly-dead. Her lips on my face, somehow cynical. Her eyes, as she looks at me, back in her own body. The fact that I love her beyond the physical and mental, the pain and solitude of life. That I've always loved her, from her first words to me, even through Riley, Angel and Spike, all of whom are gone.
That will haunt me the most. When I kill her. ~ Chapter One: Queen of The Damned
what did you see in the mirror when you were me smudged black mascara, strong, insane and feeble or did you put me in that little box marked evil?
bad humans, we're all bad humans, we take and we abuse it we're all bad humans, bad humans
The brunette singer tossed her sweaty hair out of her face, and glanced at her audience of screaming people. The pulsing, seething mass looked like a creature to her, a demon with a face she knew. She grabbed the mic in both hands and sang the song with a violent intensity.
why am i so goddamned cruel to all the people i use so hurt me don't worry i'm good at being abused i'm bad and i can't stop now
Buffy watched the show through her eyelashes, standing in a black hooded cloak near the entrance to The Baddies, a club in the bad part of Brooklyn, New York. She kept her eyes trained on the traitor singer, ignoring the men who wandered around her in a hopeful fog. The lead singer was by turns raging and purring at the wildly moshing crowd, screaming her anthem to the mob. Buffy snorted derisively and sipped her drink. The raucious sounds issuing from the young woman's throat could have been love songs, sung by a pantheon of battered crows.
When the set ended, the brunette smiled almost shyly at her audience, said a few words, then slipped into the darkness with the rest of her band, all of whom, Buffy noticed, were vampires.
*Playing with evil again, Faith? Haven't you learned?* She thought, conviently forgetting about her liasons with Spike and Angel for a moment.
"I found you, Faith, " she said aloud, much to the confusion of the boy working up his courage to ask her to dance. "and now it's just you....and me."
She deposited her drink in a trashcan and headed backstage. Payback was a bitch and a half. ~~~~ Faith stumbled over her steel-toed boots at the entrance to backstage, slumping against the wall. Her bandmates gave her contemptous looks and continued on, ignoring her.
"Well, fuck you too." She whispered, wiping blood from her bitten lip with the back of her hand. She limped on, stopping to stare at herself in the hallway mirror. Her eyes were smudged with black eyeliner and bloodshot with dark circles under them. Her skin was startlingly white from never seeing the sun, and her hair looked black against it, curling in snake tendrils around her narrow shoulders. She was unhealthily skinny, and her eyes were vacant and pain-filled.
*God, I look like shit.* She tried to smile, but winced at the resulting effect. *I'm five by five*, she thought for the millionth time in her life. *I can handle me.*
Faith stumbled on past the groupies and crew, who stared at her, then whispered cruelly to eachother, smiling viciously at her. "A tame Slayer...what a joke." Fighting off the urge to smack some of them, she continued down the corridor, to her room. She leaned against her door to close it and practically fell onto her bed. The room was draped in dark reds and blacks, so no speck of sunlight would squeeze in. It was lavish, expensive, but spare, and there were no wooden objects in it. The vampires may not be afraid of her anymore, but they weren't stupid.
She closed her eyes and tried to put a blanket over her unruly thoughts. But always, at the back of everything, she could hear it. The sound of her own unraveling. ~~~~~
Buffy had finangled her way into the backstage wings by begging to be Faiths 'sister from Atlanta', batting her eyelashes, and using her best 'Good Girl Buffy' voice. When the security gaurd didn't seem convinced, she sighed, and leaned forward to display her ample cleavage. He let her in.
She kept her hood pulled around her face, as she walked through the wings, ignoring the catcalls and cries of 'hey baby, lemme see your neck'. All the people in here were vampires, and she couldn't risk one of them recognising her, and causing a panic. She passed vamps drinking, vamps feeding, and vamps fucking, her senses causing all of the hairs on her neck to raise and tingle. She felt like the proverbial sacrificial lamb, pushed in to swim with the sharks. She kept her hand on the stake hidden in a holster at her back, and kept walking until she saw a crude sign stating "The Slayer....entr at yor on risk."
Buffy turned down the narrow hallway, the walls streaked with blood and worse, empty beer bottles and smashed glass underfoot. She wrinkled her nose at the cloying, sickening smell of decay and death. She almost felt sorry for-no. Faith chose to live like this, it was her own fault. Loud, raucious music pulsed as she got closer to the door. ..once I ran to you now I run from you this tainted love you've given I give you all a boy could give you take my tears and that's not nearly...ohh Tainted Love, tainted love...
Buffy smiled brutally. *Tainted love, how ironic. This is the song you'll die to, my Faith.*
Faith looked up at the opening of the door, squinting her eyes at the unfamiliar brightness that the door allowed in. A shapeless figure in a black hooded cloak stood in the doorway, silent. She clicked the off button on her remote and the music quit abruptly, leaving them in stark silence. A scent wafted to her atuned nostrils, soft and femine. *Where do I know that from?*
"Who are you?" She asked, trying to place the scent. The figure said nothing, but closed the door, sheathing the room in opaque darkness. Faith felt fear and panic well up in her, she was still dressed in her preformance outfit, vinyl pants, and a red and black lace-up corset. She had no weapon but a small switchblade, completely inefectual against a vampire. Oh God, she was going to get raped again.
"Listen, I don't know what they told you, but I don't fuck for money any more."
The figure laughed shortly. Faith stiffened. "Oh, still a slut I see?"
She knew that voice. That voice beloged to someone she thought she'd never see again. "Long time no see, B. What, Sunnydale not vamped enough for ya?" She drew her drugged body into a defensive crouch.
Buffy laughed harshly, droping her hood and crossing to the bed. She trailed her fingers on the plush velvet comforter, and leaned down to glance at Faith, their eyes only a foot away. Emerald blazed into mahoghany.*Too close,* Faith thought, *she's always too goddamned close.* "You dyed your hair. " She commented casually, noting the soft brown color.
"Actually, no. I was a bottle blonde. Which you should have known."
Faith ignored the reference to the Katra spell, speaking slowly and non- threateningly. "What do you want with me, Buffy?"
*Nothing I can have. Damnit! I don't care about her, I don't. God, but she looks gorgeous, I forgot how beautiful she is...No! I hate her! Hate her!* B shook her head violently, and focused on her anger, her hate. She drew it around her like a black coat.
"Actually? Answers. From you."
"And what if I don't feel like playing Twenty Questions with you?"
A slow, terrifying grin spread like a plague across Buffy's face, brighting her eyes with a strange, sadistic light. "Then I just kill you sooner."
Faith felt bile rise in her throat. She hadn't practiced or worked out in ages, just shot up and listened to music all day. If B attacked her, she'd be down in a second. There was no chance. She tried to sound like she wasn't beaten.
"Alrighty. Fire away."
Buffy stood up and stalked over to the single other piece of furniture besides the entertainment system, an overstuffed armchair. She settled herself in it.
"Why did you come to Sunnydale?" The younger slayer snorted. "You know why. I was called." "But why did you stay? By the Council's laws, you could have left if you wanted to."
"I didn't want to."
Buffy shot her a glare to see if she was kidding, but Faith's eyes were dead serious. The older girl shook her head to clear it and went on. "Why not go to London, then, and face justice for what you did?" Faith laughed bitterly, which turned into a hacking cough. "B, you have a lot to learn about the Council's so-called justice." She subtly put a hand to her lower back. Buffy ignored it, writing it off as a Faith mind-game, and continued.
"Why did you confess?" "Because I...I felt sick, like something had died inside of me, and I couldn't get it back. I wanted to be abused, I-fuck, I wanted to pay for what I'd done." Buffy glared at her threateningly. "Don't try that, Faith." "What?" "Try that 'oh I've changed' bullshit. I'm going to kill you, no matter what you do." "Why?" Buffy stared at her in shock. Faith looked sad, but her eyes met Buffy's and for a moment B felt herself soften. *Damnit! Take back control! She would have killed you!* She reminded herself fiercely. *But she didn't,* another voice whispered. *She could have, but she didn't.*
"I ask the questions, Faith. Why did you sleep with Riley?" "To prove that all men are beasts and you should've lo-picked another man." "Do you love Angel?" That made the other Slayer laugh. "Dead-boy? He was a friend, nothing more." "Why did you kiss me?"
Silence filled the room. Their eyes met, and then Faith looked away. This angered Buffy. "Answer me, damnit!" She yelled, getting up and crossing to stand over Faith. "Why did you do it?!" Again, silence. Buffy couldn't take it anymore. She grabbed Faith, slammed her against the wall, and began shaking her violently, banging the other girls head against the wall.
"Why did you do it, you bitch?! Why did you leave?! Why, Faith?! Why'd you come in and destroy *everything* I ever knew about life, and then leave me with it?! Why can't I get you out of my head?! WHY?! C'mon, answer me, YOU FUCKING WHORE!!"
Faith didn't reply, taking the beating in silence. Buffy screamed in frustration, and began punching and attacking her viciously, her blows landing with all the force she had in her. She was crying as she did it, crying because she hated loving Faith, and she hated herself for hating hating loving Faith. She howled at her, curses and obscenities, demanding that the younger girl fight back. But the brunette just shook her head and took it. Finally, Buffy just grabbed Faith's head between her palms and forced the girl to look at her. She screamed in Faith's pale face.
"Why did you do it, Faith?! Why?! Why?!"
Suddenly, the brunette grabbed Buffy's arms and forced them off of her. She panted heavily, her eyes dull and glazed, but somehow burning.
"You wanna know, B?! You think you wanna know?! You think you can just come in to my life and...I hate you, B! I *fucking* hate you! You wanna know *why*?! Cause I loved you, B! I love you!"
Buffy stared at her in shock. Faith's eyes met hers for a second, wearily, then slid to look at the floor. She spoke slowly, as if the words took an effort. Faith's heart was beating violently, and she knew why. She didn't have much time left before she passed out.
"So, just kill me, Buff. Just kill me..'cause..I love you...and I'll never stop...so, just kill me."
Buffy was in shock. She let go of Faith, stepping away in a daze. Faith slumped against the wall, her head lolling on her flower-stem neck. The older Slayer's mind raced, and she felt her hate and rage slipping away like a swift-moving stream. She tried to grab a hold of it, desperately trying to cling to the one thing that had kept her going for four years. But it was gone, and she felt lighter, brighter. Her body felt different, loosened. Acceptance flooded her like a sweet sickness. She stared at the woman in front of her, for the first time realizing how much she..had feelings for the badass Slayer.
"Faith?" She said, confused and scared, touching the other woman's arm, hesitantly. "Faith?"
The name felt good on her lips, and she said it again, her mouth quirking into something like a half-smile. Faith's eyes were half-lidded and blank, but a hand reached up to touch Buffy's face. Buffy flinched reflexively, but didn't move to remove the hand.
"B..."
Suddenly, Faith pitched forward, falling into unconsciousness. Buffy gave a surprised cry as Faith crumpled into a heap, her Slayer reflexes saving the younger girl from the floor. She cradled the other woman in her arms, on her knees, suddenly terrified.
"Faith?!"
Oh God...she'd killed her. She'd killed the woman she...cared for. Desperately, her fingers searched for a pulse on the soft white neck. She breathed a sigh of insane relief, as she found Faith's heartbeat, fast and erratic, but there. Dimly, she realized Faith should lie down, so she staggered to her feet with her partner in her arms. To her surprise, the former voracious eater weighed next to nothing.
Buffy laid Faith down on the bed, carefully adjusting her head on the pillow, kissing the girl's forehead, barely aware that she did so. As she pulled away to take off Faith's clothes and tuck her in, she noticed the inside of Faith's right arm. It was purpled with injection bruises, from heroin needles. ~~~ Chapter Two: Sunlight
B felt a sick feeling pervade her senses. The bruises were violent and ugly, on both of Faith's arms, telling the horrible truth. She reeled away from the bed, staring in horrified fascination at the bruises. She could barely comprehend what she was seeing. An unknown impulse caused her to check under the bed, where she found a small pile of discarded needles and coke mirrors.
"Aw, fuck....Faith..." She said sadly, staring at the unconscious girl.
She remembered vaguely her Health teacher's instructions on heroin in high school. *People who use it are usually depressed and angry inside. They feel as if they have nothing to lose, and no one to care.* Buffy choked back a sob, remembering her harsh words to Faith, that night at Angel's.
"I'm sorry." She whispered to Faith. "I'm sorry."
She began to undress her friend, methodically and without full realization of the intimate act she was preforming. She slid off the black vinyl pants, sheathing Faith's beautiful long legs. The younger Slayer was wearing black bikini panties with a spray of little gold flowers in the middle, and lace around the edges. Buffy swallowed hard at the urgent need to bury her head in betweed those firm, pale thighs. She brushed it off as adrenaline from the fight and began unlacing the corset. After she removed it, she blushed, seeing that Faith wore no bra under it. Averting her hungry eyes, she found two black duffel bags by the foot of the bed, presumably carrying Faith's things.
Sure enough, she found a simple black tank top with spagettii straps that would serve. She didn't bother looking for pajama bottoms, she knew Faith often slept nude or in panties. Buffy was sickened to see a small pile of heroin and coke in baggies under the first layer of clothes. She gathered up all the drugs and needles she could find, and threw the lot of it out the window in the bathroom. Feeling better, and slightly self-righteous, she returned to the bed, carefully dressed and put Faith under the coverlet, smoothing the blankets around her. Needing to use the restroom, she went into the bathroom, and found it to be altogether too neat. There were no cosmetics piled haphazardly on the counter, and clothes did not decorate the floor. In fact, the only signs that a girl had been here at least three days, were bottles of sweet-smelling shampoo and conditioner, a pink razor, and some body wash.
Exhaustion plagued her suddenly, and she took off her own clothes, leaving only her white cotton bikinis and her black t-shirt. She folded both their clothes and laid them neatly on the chair, her inner neat-freak taking over.
For a long time she stood by the side of the bed, watching Faith sleep. She had no worries about the heinous amount of drugs in the other girls system; Slayers got rid of alchohol and drugs quicker than they could consume them. Other than a strong need to pee in the morning, Faith would be fine. What plagued her was the fact that she intended to sleep in the bed, with Faith. She had no idea where these lesbian tendancies came from, but whenever she was around the dark girl, they rose up. Buffy wanted so much, in the back of her head, to just accept the fact that she..*loved* Faith, but she could never admit it. Until now.
She gave up finally, climbing into bed with the other Slayer, letting her own resevations fly out the window and snuggling close. Faith's skin was soft and warm, and she spooned her, wrapping her arms about the narrow waist, her head buried in Faith's shoulder. She breathed in the soft scent of the brunette, enjoying the quivers it sent through her. Finally, she slept. ~~~ Some time during the night, Faith woke up to the sensation of someone kissing her shoulder and neck. It was rapturous. She moaned slightly, her eyes opening with a start as she realized who must be doing it.
She rolled over, and into the arms of a smiling Slayer. Buffy was propped up on one elbow looking down on Faith, one arm pulling her closer, snug and protective around the other girls' waist.
"Hi. " Buffy said sweetly, placing a small kiss on Faith's temple. Faith closed her eyes. *Please don't let this be a trip, please don't let this be a trip...*
"It's not a trip. " Buffy laughed, her voice soft and husky. The other girl blushed as she realized she had spoken aloud. Buffy cupped her face in one hand, thinking about how cute Faith looked when she blushed. She was shocking herself, and somewhere a mean little voice was screaming at her to stop, but she wasn't listening. She was caught up in the plumpness of Faith's lower lip.
"I love you. " B said suddenly, loving the way the words tasted in her mouth. She said it again, to Faith's shocked eyes, triumphantly.
"I love you, Faith." Again, and again she said it, laughing and crying now, tears mingling with the smile she'd held back for so long.
"I love you. I love you. I loveyouloveyouloveyoulo-" She was cut off as Faith surged upwards, kissing the tears off of her face, laughing and crying as well. Their mouths met as perfectly as if they'd planned it, the tears on their faces mingling as their toungues explored and dueled eachother for control. Buffy loved the kisses, and drew Faith back down to her when the other Slayer came up for breath, taking that inticing plump lip into her mouth and sucking on it. They seemed to lose hours like this, lost in the new feelings and sensations. Buffy didn't know where her mouth ended and Faith's began anymore, nor did she care. All she wanted was to keep kissing her friend, her partner, her lover.*Lover*. God, she had a lover! She'd never been more estatic, more elated.
Faith, for her part, was nervous and shy at first, but then began to relax into it. She'd been with women before, but none of it compared to Buffy's soft, sweet mouth, and the little sighes she was making. She kept her arms chastely around Buffy's neck, occasionally twining into the soft brown hair. Buffy, however, was eager and adventurous, her amorous hands sliding up and down Faith's sides, stopping to pet the soft skin of her hip. Faith moaned, deep and throaty, and the sound of it sent a pool of moisture between Buffy's thighs. The older girl had never felt so wet before, and she was desperate to know if Faith was the same. Without warning, she slipped a hand between Faith's thighs and cupped her wetness through her panties.
Faith broke off from the kiss with a cry, arching her back. Buffy was fascinated, and she slipped a finger in to explore the soft, wet petals. Faith cried out Buffy's name, but grabbed the other girl's wrist, staying her tempting hand. Buffy looked questioningly at her, a little hurt. "What is it? Did I do something wrong?"
Faith kissed her softly, withdrawing B's hand. "No, no. I just think I'd better go to the bathroom first. And I need a shower, I'm still sweaty from the show, and plus, I don't wanna be dirty and shit tomorrow."
Buffy smiled beguilingly, placing her hand on Faith's thigh, causing the brunette to shiver. "All right, but can I join you? To conserve water, of course. "
Faith didn't know what to do or think. She had no idea where this new-found confidence and sex-appeal had come from. Buffy had always seemed like such an ice-queen, but now....
Faith shivered again. "Of couse. To conserve water. "
Their eyes met, and an arousal so strong it would have killed a vampire, crackled between them like a high-tension wire. Faith felt like a balloon about to burst with happiness. ~~~~~~ The pair shed their clothes in the adjacent room outside the shower stall, turning their backs to eachother. Faith was nervous about her body, and self-conscious of her scars and paleness. Buffy was nervous too, but more about the fact that she would be sharing a shower with the person she loved, and then making love to her. *Making love?! Oh god...* She wasn't sure she'd be good enough. Sure, there was that one time with Willow, but she hadn't been with a woman since. She wanted to be good for Faith.
Buffy tested the water and adjusted the spray before stepping in. She held back the plateglass door, as a shy Faith entered. She stifled a giggle; she'd never seen a stranger sight than a nervous Faith. Then she stopped laughing altogether, as she gazed upon her lover's body.
Faith's skin was pale, and her breasts were firm and full, with dark rose- colored nipples, tightened with arousal. Buffy's gaze traveled further, past the tight, flat belly, complete with navel ring, jutting hipbones, and the tiny patch of dark brown curls. Buffy was entranced.
The younger girl laughed nervously at her scrutiny. "Like what you see?" She said, trying for cocky and confident.
B returned her gaze to the other girl, and smiled, kissing her soft mouth. Her hands came up to cup Faith's breasts, running her thumbs over the hardened peaks. "You're beautiful. " She whispered into Faith's ear. "So beautiful."
She leaned down and swirled her toungue around a rosy nub. Faith gasped her name, draping her arms around B's neck. Neither noticed the bathroom door open and a figure step in.
"Well, isn't this lovely?" The Slayers whirled around, coming face to face with one of Faith's bandmates, Atkiel, the drummer, who regularly raped and beat Faith. He stood with a smirk on his vamped face, his arms crossed as he regarded them.
"Aww, Jade found a girlfriend." Atkiel said, using the alias he knew Faith by. "C'mere my little treat, let Atkiel taste you."
He stepped forward to Buffy, who slammed a punch into his face. While he staggered back, Buffy lept from the shower and ran bare-assed to the bedroom. She searched frantically among her cloak for her stake, and finding it, ran back into the bathroom, angered beyond reason.
Faith cowered on the tile floor, hands gaurding her face,as Atkiel viciously beat her, and pinched her nipples by turns. She didn't know where B had gone, but a part of her desperately hoped the older girl had escaped, and managed to get away before Atkiel finished with *her*. Suddenly, Atkiel gave a cut-off yelp, and she peeked out to see him dusted before her eyes. Buffy stood there, stake in hand, chest heaving as she stared down at her cowering sister Slayer. She offered a hand and Faith took it, standing. Buffy hugged her, kissing her collarbone and neck, soothing her, as the other Slayer hiccuped and sobbed. Buffy had never seen Faith cry before, and it scared her. She tried to calm the girl as best she could, until she held Faith at arms length and regarded her.
"Why didn't you fight him? Why were you just...letting him?" Faith looked away, ashamed. "I..I.." Buffy forced her head back. "Look at me, Faith. Did he rape you?" Numbly, she nodded.
Buffy fought back a sob of pain. "Do they all do it?" Another nod. Buffy held her, stroking the soft skin of her back. She felt sick, and her mind reeled at the implications of it. "Why don't you kill them? Why don't you kill them all?"
Faith laughed. It was not a nice laugh. "Because I'm exactly what the Council said I was. A traitor. A murderer..I..I deserve it.."
"No! Faith, no." Buffy growled. "You're not a killer. You made a mistake, that's all. Please, Faith, look at me. *Look* at me. I love you, c'mon Faith.."
"No!" Faith screamed. Whirling around, she pointed to her lower back violently, her hands shaking. "Don't tell me that, B! Remember Willow?! And Xander?! And *you*?! Look at it, B! Look what being a murderer means!"
The slayer took in a sharp breath, and the bathroom swam before her eyes. She stared in horror at the markings on the small of Faith's back. Not markings, she amended, *carvings*. Someone had carved, so deep into the soft flesh that even a Slayer's healing abilities couldn't erase it completely, a demonic symbol, like a bi-sected triangle. Buffy searched her memory for Giles' lessons on demon runes, and remembered that this particular one, meant unclean, or traitor. *Traitor*.
No wonder. No wonder. Buffy leaned against her friend, barely able to stand for fury.
"Who did this to you?" She grated, barely able to contstrain her anger. Faith shuddered. "The Council...they..they took me out of prison, and they..." Buffy roared in rage and pain, startling her fellow Slayer. She stalked around the room, screaming obscenities at the Watchers' Council, and the traumas they were responsible for. Her tirade was pent-up frustration and rage that she had secreted inside of her, seething, waiting for it's chance to strike. So she screamed, and yelled and beat at the plateglass shower door with her fists, lightly so as not to break it. When at last, she ran out of breath, and rage, she stepped up to Faith, huddling in a corner. She gathered Faith to her and soothed her, trembling with the force of her empathy.
"It's okay, my love. This does not change a thing, a *thing*, between us, okay? I love you even more now, if that's possible. We're going to make them pay for this, all right? They'll pay for what they've done to us, to you. But you aren't a murderer. You're my Faith."
She liked the sound of that, so she said it again, kissing Faith's ear lovingly. Taking the other girls' hand, she led them both back into the shower, and turned the water back on, steaming up the room. Buffy kissed her (*Your Slayer?! Jesus, possesive much?!*) small, lovely Slayer and held her, whispering things to cajole Faith into laughing. Taking the body wash from the shower bench, she rubbed it into her hands, and then began soaping up Faith's body with it, gently scrubbing at some invisible dirt. Faith knew what Buffy was doing, and was touched by it. B was cleaning Faith, cleaning her of the handprints that evil had put on her, without her permission. She washed out Faith's sordid past, and rubbed in her love, like a safety blanket.
Buffy traced the scar that ran across her lover's flat belly, touching her own damage with her fingers. Faith watched her, silent and solemn, knowing it was important for Buffy to feel the scar. "Does it hurt?" Buffy said softly, pentient. Faith caught her head betwen soft hands and brought her up for a kiss. "Not anymore." ~~~~ Chapter Three: Find My Way Back Home
Faith awoke to the fact that there was another warm body snuggled close to hers. She was not, by any means, a cuddler-type of person, and she had instictively reached over to push the body away, when rememberance of the night before hit her, and she stopped in her tracks. She glanced up, and sure enough, B's sleeping face was nestled into her pillow, her soft arms in a death grip around Faith's waist, preventing any chance of escape by the dark Slayer.
Sighing, Faith settled back into the Slayer's arms to make the best of it. Apparently, during the night, Buffy had decided to make Faith into her own personal teddy bear, tucking Faith's lithe body against her chest, the dark girl's head resting on her collarbone. The position was comfortable, and slightly arousing, because they hadn't bothered to put on clothes after the shower, but Faith was unused to physical comfort, and it made her nervous. It took some time before she was able to fall back asleep, and when she did, her dreams were anxious, filled with B's confusing words; 'I love you.'
Buffy woke up a few hours later, happily burrowing her head into Faith's sweet-smelling hair. She lifted her head reluctantly to check the time on the digital clock radio that it seemed everyone had beside their beds. It was close to dawn, and the time when Buffy would normally be up training, but today, she wanted to sleep in. Faith felt soft and silky against her, so *right*, she couldn't begin to comprehend it. Something had changed, in her mind, and in her attitude. She felt relaxed, loose, not uptight and tense, as she had been ever since Faith left Sunnydale. Her mind was comlying with her change of heart, showing her pretty images of the future she and her new lover could have together. Dawn was in boarding school with Spike as her protector, Willow and Tara had their new place; they could have the house to themselves...
Speaking of lovers, they hadn't yet. Made love, that was. Buffy had been eager last night, her hands and body craving Faith's, but the younger Slayer had said she was tired, and Buffy was too inexperienced and nervous to push her. It irked her, slightly, that a woman willing to jump into bed with everything on two legs hadn't wanted to have sex with someone who actually loved her. But, she reminded herself, this was different. As she herself had said, *she* loved Faith, and none of those former lovers had. Maybe Faith was nervous. She found that hard to believe, even seeing Faith cry last night, but it was possible.
So they'd slept together, but only in the literal term.
Just then, she felt her love stir, and she propped herself up on one elbow to gaze at her waking beauty. The dark Slayer's eyes opened, unfocused and blinking like a newborn kitten, to look back at her. Buffy felt her heart melt and her stomach clench at Faith's shy smile.
"Hey...good morning." Buffy said, trying not to smile.
"G'morning.." Faith mumbled, stretching her arms, and unknowingly offering a prime view of her rosy tipped breasts. She checked the clock. "B, go back t'sleep...s'only 5:30 in th'fuckin' morning..."
"You have a cute morning voice."
"Go back t'sleep, B."
Buffy complied, and it was nightfall before she awoke again. Buffy stumbled out of bed, not waking Faith, who needed to sleep off her heroin dosage from the night before. Buffy had to use the bathroom, and she shut the door, deciding to take a bath. She luxiuriated in the warm water, knowing that the club's water bill would be ludicris and not caring. She discovered some lilac bath salts of Faith's, and poured them in, wanting to smell like her lover. Buffy contemplated their future together, ignoring the fact that they hadn't agreed to a relationship. They could move back to Sunnydale, after traveling for a while..the Scoobies would be upset at first, but then Buffy was sure they'd grow to love the other Slayer as much as she did, and after all, the Hellmouth was closed, but still needed twice the protection. She didn't know how she'd managed to cajole Giles into letting her go off to...she shuddered, remembering what her plan had been. The water sloshed. No, she wouldn't think about that now.
Buffy's idealistic visions of vacations to Rome, and an adopted little girl named Adrienne were shattered as she heard a loud thump from the room. She rushed out of the tub and grabbed her stake, hearing a scream that sounded like Faith's.
Droplets of water flying, she skidded into the bedroom, only to find Faith glaring at her, clothes strewn everywhere, the black bags empty. Faith's chest heaved, and she fixed Buffy with a baleful stare. "B...Where are my things?"
Buffy took one look at the disheveled room and an obvious withdrawal- suffering Faith, and knew what the other girl was talking about. She took a deep breath. "I threw them out."
Faith's voice was deadly calm. "I'm gonna ask again, B. Where. Are. MY. THINGS?!"
"You mean your drugs?!" Buffy hissed, her words biting into Faith. "You mean your death sentences?! Is that what you mean, Faith?!"
"That's none of your concern-"
"It is! It is my concern! I will *not* stand by and watch you kill yourself slowly! I won't do it, Faith, I won't." "It's not any of your *fucking* business! It's my right to-" "No Faith! No, you gave up that right last night when you said you loved me. It's not just your life anymore, it's mine too."
Faith screamed in frustrated rage as Buffy turned on her heel and marched back into the bathroom, still naked and lovely. She dropped to her knees, holding her head in her hands, shaking with supressed tears. No one had cared when her mother did it, least of all her stepfather. No one had cared when they whored Faith out for drug money. Why the *fuck* should anyone, even B, care now?! She numbly put on underwear and her favorite jeans, and was hooking her favorite purple lace bra, when Buffy came out of the bathroom, and at the same time, two vampires burst down the door.
To be continued.... hehehehe...ain't I a scamp. Feedback me if you want this to be continued...pretty_vacant334@hotmail.com