---------
DISCLAIMER: I borrowed the universe from Marvel. The character is mine.
RATING: PG
SUMMARY: Seems like there's a pamphlet for everything, doesn't it?
---------
Helpful Hints
By: Chameleon
---------
'So You're a Mutant.' That's the name of the pamphlet I'm holding in my hands right now.
It might as well be called 'So You're Life is Over.'
I cannot believe this. I first discovered my mutation a month ago. Actually, it wasn't
me who discovered it, it was my mother. The way it happened was embarrassing, too. My
entire family was at the beach and I was in the changing room putting on my bathing suit
when my mom walked in. I had my back to her and didn't even know she was in the room
until she screamed, "What is that?!"
The entire family came running in to see what was going on. She had seen the beginning of
what are now growing into a set of wings. Ugly, little, brown wings that make it
impossible to wear most of my clothing and don't even give me the ability to fly. If I'm
gonna have wings, shouldn't I at least be able to fly? I wonder if this is how emus feel?
My mom took me to our family doctor who referred us to a specialist who gave me a
pamphlet. He only charged two hundred dollars for the stupid thing too.
I reiterate, I cannot believe this. I'm a freak of nature and they give me a pamphlet?!
Okay. Take a deep breath and release. For all I know, this could be the most
informative, well written pamphlet ever written. All I have to do is read it.
Here goes nothing:
~So you're a mutant. The first thing you should realize is that this is not your fault.
There is nothing that you could have done differently to prevent this from happening. The
next thing you should realize is that this does not mean the end of you social life.
Mutation is becoming more common and so is acceptance of it.~
Yeah, right. And the FOH rally I saw on TV the other day. They don't really want to kill
me, they just want to be my friend. Okay, okay, I said I'd give a chance and I will.
~If you're mutation has a physical manifestation and you are worried about your
appearance, take heart. There are many ways to disguise unsightly side effects of
mutation. An entire industry is now devoted entirely to clothing for mutants.~
Oh that's just lovely. When people ask me where I buy my shirts, I can say, "Oh, this old
thing. I got from a catalog, Mutant Wear Etc."
~You should know that not all mutants are evil. In fact, many are good, law abiding
citizens who just want to live in peace. Do not be afraid to reach out to others in the
mutant community as they can be very helpful.~
There's a mutant community now? They'd better not force me to join a support group. If I
have to stand up in front of a room full of people and say, "My name is Gena and I'm a
mutant," I'm going to hurt someone.
~There are many support groups for people with your affliction.~
What did I just say?
~To make it easier for others to accept you, you should try to refrain from using or
displaying you're mutation unnessesarily.~
Yeah, I'm gonna stand in the middle of the subway platform and say, "Anyone wanna see my
wings?"
~However, do not be afraid to tell people that you are a mutant. It makes it easier for
them to accept it if they are told right away. If you wait, they may feel that you were
trying to hide it from them and may view you as anti-social.~
Yes, my new goal in life is to make all the people around me feel comfortable with my
freakish nature, even if it means embarrassing myself or putting myself in danger. Can't
have people thinking that I'm acting anti-social.
~Just remember to love yourself for who you are and everything will be fine.~
Well that was a complete waste of paper.
I'm gonna go stock up on spandex.
---------
Copyright December 2000
DISCLAIMER: I borrowed the universe from Marvel. The character is mine.
RATING: PG
SUMMARY: Seems like there's a pamphlet for everything, doesn't it?
---------
Helpful Hints
By: Chameleon
---------
'So You're a Mutant.' That's the name of the pamphlet I'm holding in my hands right now.
It might as well be called 'So You're Life is Over.'
I cannot believe this. I first discovered my mutation a month ago. Actually, it wasn't
me who discovered it, it was my mother. The way it happened was embarrassing, too. My
entire family was at the beach and I was in the changing room putting on my bathing suit
when my mom walked in. I had my back to her and didn't even know she was in the room
until she screamed, "What is that?!"
The entire family came running in to see what was going on. She had seen the beginning of
what are now growing into a set of wings. Ugly, little, brown wings that make it
impossible to wear most of my clothing and don't even give me the ability to fly. If I'm
gonna have wings, shouldn't I at least be able to fly? I wonder if this is how emus feel?
My mom took me to our family doctor who referred us to a specialist who gave me a
pamphlet. He only charged two hundred dollars for the stupid thing too.
I reiterate, I cannot believe this. I'm a freak of nature and they give me a pamphlet?!
Okay. Take a deep breath and release. For all I know, this could be the most
informative, well written pamphlet ever written. All I have to do is read it.
Here goes nothing:
~So you're a mutant. The first thing you should realize is that this is not your fault.
There is nothing that you could have done differently to prevent this from happening. The
next thing you should realize is that this does not mean the end of you social life.
Mutation is becoming more common and so is acceptance of it.~
Yeah, right. And the FOH rally I saw on TV the other day. They don't really want to kill
me, they just want to be my friend. Okay, okay, I said I'd give a chance and I will.
~If you're mutation has a physical manifestation and you are worried about your
appearance, take heart. There are many ways to disguise unsightly side effects of
mutation. An entire industry is now devoted entirely to clothing for mutants.~
Oh that's just lovely. When people ask me where I buy my shirts, I can say, "Oh, this old
thing. I got from a catalog, Mutant Wear Etc."
~You should know that not all mutants are evil. In fact, many are good, law abiding
citizens who just want to live in peace. Do not be afraid to reach out to others in the
mutant community as they can be very helpful.~
There's a mutant community now? They'd better not force me to join a support group. If I
have to stand up in front of a room full of people and say, "My name is Gena and I'm a
mutant," I'm going to hurt someone.
~There are many support groups for people with your affliction.~
What did I just say?
~To make it easier for others to accept you, you should try to refrain from using or
displaying you're mutation unnessesarily.~
Yeah, I'm gonna stand in the middle of the subway platform and say, "Anyone wanna see my
wings?"
~However, do not be afraid to tell people that you are a mutant. It makes it easier for
them to accept it if they are told right away. If you wait, they may feel that you were
trying to hide it from them and may view you as anti-social.~
Yes, my new goal in life is to make all the people around me feel comfortable with my
freakish nature, even if it means embarrassing myself or putting myself in danger. Can't
have people thinking that I'm acting anti-social.
~Just remember to love yourself for who you are and everything will be fine.~
Well that was a complete waste of paper.
I'm gonna go stock up on spandex.
---------
Copyright December 2000