Title: The Unauthorized Story of a Lesbian Undercover
Author: TexasWatermelon
Pairing: Pellie
Raiting: Oh PG-13 for now, possibly more later
Warnings: Mention of Ellie's cutting and perhaps Paige's rape in later chapters
Note: This is AU. As in, cannon no longer exists. Basically, it's set a little after Paige quits Banting. She, Ellie, Marco, and Dylan live together. Alex is not in the picture because she went off to join the Peace Corps of all things. And Ellie didn't hook up with Jesse, because… ew. If I left anything out and you're confused about something, please let me know. I'm spastic so it's possible. Oh, and do try to ignore the idiotic poem at the beginning. That would be the horrid thing in italics down there. Once again that was me being spastic.
Consider the story
Of a princess in pink
Surrounded by loved ones at her throne
And an outcast in black
Watching from afar
As she writes in her journal alone
The princess with eyes
Bluer than the sea
And the outcast with hair red as fire
Brought together by fate
And oblivious to
The events about to transpire
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Ellie Nash was a journalist, plain and simple. She took her assignments with pride, no matter what they entailed. She'd been kicked out of her dorm for writing a brutally honest first piece, stood for hours in the pouring rain to cover a protest about trees, and sampled every last disgusting item offered in the university caf, all for a glorious spot in the paper with her name printed in tiny little letters at the bottom of the article. Such was the life of a journalist, and Ellie never complained.
So it was when she'd received her latest assignment, one that she had to admit she was very interested in. When Jesse had told her that she was to write a dashing and eye-opening article on young gay and lesbian life in college, Ellie was intrigued. And of course, the perfect candidate for the job, considering the fact that she lived with two and a half gays (the half being Paige Michalchuk, who she hardly considered fully gay because the girl had only ever gone out with Alex Nunez for like, a second). Personally, Ellie thought this article would be a piece of cake.
"Make this a good one, Ellie," Jesse told her. "A lot of people are going to read it, and you could make a lot of enemies."
That in mind, Ellie had gone home thinking about the position she would take in her article. There was a fantastic display of homosexual deliciousness on the couch when she walked in, and she stopped to observe Marco and Dylan entwined together so that she could hardly tell where one stopped and the other started. When they surfaced for air she realized that her staring could be misconstrued as some kind of perversion and bounded up the stairs to both announce her arrival and discard her school load onto her bed. She sat down at the foot of her bed on the floor with her feet against her wall and sighed. This was how she sat for hours at a time some days, to get herself in the journalistic headspace.
Sometimes she would roll up her sleeve and stare at the scars littered there, her battle scars as she liked to call them, just like the ones her dad got when he went away to war. It made her feel a little bit better about what she'd done to herself all time, made her feel a little less ashamed at every memory of picking up the compass, or in later months the knife, and slicing into her skin. She knew that one day she would write an article about it, and that it would without a doubt be the best piece she'd ever write. Because things are best written when they come from the heart, and every ounce of blood that she'd shed due to her addiction had come from the heart.
This was how Ellie was when someone knocked on her door some time later. The redhead rolled her sleeve back down and jumped up, opening the door to find Paige standing there, perfectly shaped eyebrow raised speculatively. Ellie had never really had a distinct like for Paige, but no distinct hate either. The two had coexisted with fairly little incident, and truthfully each had a small soft spot for the other as a result of the time that Paige had discovered Ellie's… problem. Not problem, really, she hated to think of it as that. It hadn't been a problem, it had been the resolution. Regardless of what she wanted to call it, Paige had helped Ellie come to terms with the fact that it wasn't okay, and for that she couldn't be too angry with her, even if the two had managed to ignore and avoid each other as much as humanly possible since then.
"Dinner will be ready soon, if you want to get ready," Paige announced, sounding fairly disinterested. Ellie nodded mumbling a quiet thanks. Paige looked as though she were going to turn around and go back downstairs, but she stopped, looking at Ellie like she wanted to say something else.
"What?" Ellie asked, not entirely comfortable with being stared at. Well, that wasn't true. She was used to being stared at, it was the way Paige was staring that made her uncomfortable. As though she were trying to get Ellie to confess to something she hadn't even been accused of yet.
"Nothing, I just…" Paige stalled. "Nothing." This time she did walk away, but Ellie swore that she'd seen those faint blue eyes flicker to her cotton clad arm. She sighed and rested her head against the doorframe, listening to Paige's feet padding softly down the stairs. She hoped the blonde wouldn't accuse her of cutting again. She hoped that even Paige had more faith in her than that. She needed people to have faith in her; it was what kept her from doing it all over again.
Dinner found Ellie contemplating her assignment again as she watched Marco and Dylan interact with each other in the kitchen, just as any other couple would do. They talked about normal things, gave each other quick pecks on the lips, found every little reason to touch each other. It seemed completely normal, but the journalist in Ellie felt that there had to be more to it.
"So, Ellie how was school?" Marco asked as he sat down across from her.
"Fine Mom, thanks for asking," Ellie replied smartly. Marco blew her a kiss and she rolled her eyes. "Actually, I got a new assignment for the paper that you might be interested in."
"Oh? Do tell," Marco urged. Dylan was now listening intently as well and even Paige was looking over at her, though her expression was a bit skeptical.
"Well, uh, Jesse told me that he wants me to do an article on young gay and lesbian lifestyles, specifically in college," Ellie explained. "I figured maybe you guys wouldn't mind an interview or something."
"That's awesome, Ellie, I wouldn't mind at all!" Marco exclaimed, clearly excited. Dylan shook his head.
"Me either," he said.
"Great, well, uh, thanks." Ellie saw that Paige was still glancing at her sideways, and turned back to her dinner, hoping that the conversation would turn to a different topic now that she'd gotten that out. Certainly with these two around, there would be plenty of information to back her article. It would be no problem at all.
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Four days later, Ellie had gotten two hilarious interviews with Marco and Dylan, and an unnecessary amount of graphic displays of affection from the two. As far as she could tell, they led fairly normal, boring lives like everyone else in Canada. There were a few instances of discrimination, stories of hatred from the boys, but a lot of people were very accepting. The same held true with just about every other gay couple she talked to on campus, and the gay pride group at school didn't offer much else. Still, Ellie felt that the information she'd gathered was good for a high school research paper at best, and that just wasn't acceptable to her. She needed more, and considering the fact that Jesse hadn't given her a deadline, she figured she had time to find it.
At the moment however, the only thing she was looking for was a soda, something that suddenly seemed impossible to find in the messy refrigerator. She didn't trust the boys enough to drink the milk, or anything else that could possibly spoil. With a sigh she finally resigned herself to water, and closed the refrigerator door. She turned around to find pale blue eyes staring at her passively and jumped.
"Paige, what… what are you doing here?" she asked. Paige raised an eyebrow.
"I was thirsty, I wanted some water," she replied dully, gesturing to the fridge. "Which you're kind of in the way of."
"Oh, right," Ellie said quickly. "Uh, here." She handed Paige the bottle of water that she'd just retrieved from the fridge. The blonde looked at it for a moment before finally accepting it.
"Thanks," she said slowly. Ellie nodded and turned to get another bottle of water out for herself. The two stood there in an awkward silence for a while before Paige finally decided to make an attempt at conversation. "So… how's the article coming?"
"Okay, I guess," Ellie replied with a shrug. "I haven't really gotten anything groundbreaking." Paige nodded, but that seemed to be the end of the communication.
Ellie took note of how lifeless Paige seemed these days. The blonde had been so full of energy in high school that Ellie could hardly stand it. As the captain of the Spirit Squad, she had to be. Even when Paige had been insulting someone, she'd always done it with vigor. She was always into everything, living life in a way that Ellie couldn't really imagine. Now, she just sort of existed. Even Ellie had more than that.
The reason for Paige's behavior, or lack thereof, was due to the departure of one Alex Nunez. Even though the two had broken up before Paige went off to Banting, they'd still managed to remain friends. When Paige had moved back, they'd gotten closer, becoming best friends again, and the way Ellie understood, they were fast tracking their way to a second go at the relationship thing. But before any of that could happen, Alex had somehow found the Peace Corps, and was now in some obscure country that Ellie couldn't even pronounce the name of doing whatever it was that the Peace Corps did. She still sent postcards every now and again, but it wasn't the same, and neither was Paige since she left.
These thoughts brought on the sudden realization that Paige had at one time been very much a lesbian, and could possibly help Ellie out with her article. The redhead looked up, a sparkle in her eye as she looked at the girl before her.
"Hey Paige, you dated a girl once," Ellie said suddenly. Paige stopped in mid gulp of her water and looked at her as though she were the dumbest person on earth.
"And?"
"And I was thinking that you could tell me what it was like. I mean, what's it feel like to be with another girl, physically and emotionally?" Ellie asked. Paige stared at her for a long time, and Ellie was beginning to think that she might end up on the wrong side of Paige's wrath when the girl finally spoke, her voice calm, but not quite as dead as it usually was.
"It's not something you can tell, Ellie. It can't be explained. It has to be experienced," Paige explained quietly, her eyes filled with memories. Ellie felt that she could almost touch them, almost get to them and find out what Paige meant if she just looked hard enough. But once again, her mind got in the way and a sudden idea popped into her head. Without thinking, or considering the hell that she would catch for doing it, Ellie stepped forward, eradicating the few feet of space that separated herself and Paige, taking the blonde's face in her hands and kissing her.
She meant for it to be forceful, meaningful, to gain some of the experience that Paige spoke of out of it. It turned out to be something different entirely as she felt Paige stiffen and then relax into the kiss. And suddenly she forgot what she was doing altogether, and just let herself melt into everything that was Paige; the scent of her hair that reminded her vaguely of coconut and ginger, musky and sweet all at the same time; the taste of her lips that held the faintest reminders of that morning's raspberry lip-gloss; the feel of her body as Ellie's hands wrapped themselves around Paige's waist, pulling her closer so that there was barely a millimeter between them. It was over so soon, and as Paige's hand found its way to the bare strip of skin on Ellie's back that her shirt didn't quite cover, the redhead let out a small moan, throwing them back into reality.
"What the hell was that?" Paige yelled, stepping away from Ellie entirely. The loss of contact was disappointing, really, but Ellie was excited by the fact that Paige had some emotion in her eyes for once, albeit negative emotion directed at Ellie.
"Well you said I had to experience it, so I was experiencing," Ellie explained lamely.
"That's not what I meant!" Paige exploded, and Ellie jumped back a few steps. Paige sighed and shook her head, her voice falling back to its usual dullness. "Look, if you really want to know what it's like to be a lesbian, then the best way to do that is to be a lesbian. Get into a relationship. That's the only way you're gonna know what it's really like." With that, Paige walked away, her eyes and expression dead once more, as though nothing had ever happened.
Ellie went to bed that night with Paige's words echoing in her mind. She slept in the clothes she'd worn that day, telling herself that she was much to exhausted to change, when in reality she kept them on because they still smelled like Paige, and it reminded her of the kiss. For a second today, Paige had been alive again, and Ellie realized that she liked that. Life looked good on Paige Michalchuk, and Ellie wanted to see it more often. One though remained as she drifted to sleep: she was going to get the experience she needed for her article, and get Paige back to the way she was at the same time.
Do oblige me and review guys, let me know what you think. I'll have the next chapter up soon. Oh, and so sorry for the length, but if I didn't stop there it would have turned into the world's longest oneshot.
Be kind, rewind, and don't forget the TexasWatermelon