It's like a kid's game in the dentist's office. Batman and Robin: spot the difference.

The obvious answer is size. One is an adult and one is a child, so Batman's the one to watch out for.

That's the thing that people don't get—up until they take a bo staff to the kneecaps. Yes, realistically Robin is a sidekick, not a partner, but that doesn't make him incompetent. Robin can be a five-foot, two-inch tank under the right circumstances. And he's already growing like a weed.

So what's the difference, really?

Batman's more block, less dodge. He rarely gives ground. His armor is almost as heavy as him, and he's built up the muscle mass to support it. In a fight, especially against a large group, he can basically bowl down the enemy. In a one-on-one match his fists are sledgehammers and his feet are jackhammers. The blocking part is necessary because, nine times out of ten, there's someone standing behind him. However, there's weaponry you can't block, and in some situations heavy armor only drags you faster into hell.

Robin is more dodge, less block. One of his favorite clichés is "roll with the punches,"—something Bruce both understands on a visceral level and struggles, some days, to grasp. Sometimes when Robin uses this catchphrase, Batman grumbles that Robin doesn't grasp it either, which is arguably true—he actually tends to roll under the punches rather than with them. Robin's armor is lightweight and flexible (lighter before he got pants, but no oneis arguing with the change. Except maybe Barbara). When there's someone behind him to protect, he distracts, taunts, attracts attention, which can be its own version of a block. It's less reliable, though, and the outcome is certainly less predictable. Robin doesn't have Batman's size or muscle mass behind him, so he relies on leverage and momentum. The kid can keep dishing hits out until his opponent takes one too many, but he can't take a hit himself. When he goes down, he goes down hard, and unlike Bruce he isn't right back up again.

Batman fights in two dimensions. In his twenties, maybe the long-distance ninja-style leaping tackles served him well, but soon he started accumulating too much scar tissue. Heavier armor equals less upward mobility (which is an ironic phrase to use about a billionaire). Nowadays he mostly fights forward and sideways. It's clever and clinical, but it's not inspired. Really the main word that comes to mind is "relentless." Sometimes he'll just keep pushing his opponent back in a flurry of sharp elbows and metal knees until the other person hits a wall, and then sometimes the other person goes through the wall (he's a Gotham kid, native to the realm of sharp-edged marble and and ancient concrete, both intricately carved; drywall is not his friend). To be sure, there's plenty of ducking to sweep-kick and the occasional dive to the side (reserved mainly for metas. He usually dodges for metas). He even indulges in a nice vampiric drop from the ceiling when the occasion demands it. You have to keep the reputation alive. But for the most part, Batman moves forward and down, never up. Except when that jumpline is whisking him up to the next rooftop, and he's never really been able to not appreciate that view.

Robin fights in three dimensions. On the ceiling. On the walls. On the heads and arms and torsos of his attackers. He's a sucker for a good fire escape, and don't even put him near a nice Tarzan-style dangling line. He loved Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull for the car-chase-slash-monkeys scene only (Connor was not amused), and he idolized Shia LaBeouf for, like, months because of it. So yeah, Robin fights on all three axes. X, Y, and Z. Dick's never been able to separate the idea of impossible acrobatics from imaginary numbers. The problem is that sometimes he goes up and up and sideways and forgets which way the ground is. And then Gravity catches him again like an old ornery maiden aunt, even though he was almost sure that this time, this time, he'd left her behind him.

Batman's cape is huge and serves a variety of purposes. It's fire-retardant, bulletproof, insulated. It's a regular Pallas' aegis. Chief among its uses is actually the job of smokescreen; it's the first one you notice, too, the first of many. There's also (1) the pellets, (2) the occasional handy gas pipe or vent, and (3) Bruce Wayne. The cape moves in unpredictable ways, shifting and twirling and dragging around him and effectively hiding his center of gravity. Back when he did club soccer for little kids, his coach told him, "Don't look at your opponent's feet to know what he's going to do. Look at the hips." And then any number of martial arts teachers told him never to give away where your weight is. He wouldn't give it away even without the cape, but no one ever died of a little added security.

Robin's cape is basically just there to make him look cool. It's too short to be a smokescreen, and anyway he doesn't need it to be one—what else are grins for except to blind the dumbstruck audience? (Dick, of course, knows a lot of other uses for them, as many as Batman has for his cape, but he's not naive enough to not understand that most of them are ultimately about getting something. That just makes him appreciate so much more the ones that aren't.) When Robin leaves, the cape will be the first thing lost to the wind. Or maybe he'll regift it to that gargoyle on Western that Babs likes so much, the one across from the Chinese place that gives him free fortune cookies if he shows up in costume. Ah, the benefits of maintaining a pretty face.

Batman wears all black. He says it's to help him blend in with the night.

Robin wears bright colors. There are a lot of reasons that he and Batman and others will toss at you for this. "They're my family's colors." "You have to earn the night by first learning not to rely on it." "He's a distraction." "We're drawing fire. Human targets." "B doesn't want him shot by the police." "You're a beacon of hope to the people of this city." "Damn good PR." "Whatever the reason, he's terrible PR."

Nightwing won't learn to block, but he will finally learn the real meaning of "roll with the punches." It's as Batman, once he's in the armor and nine times out of ten there's someone behind him, that he'll learn how to really block. Still, even as Batman he'll never take as many blows as Bruce does. Even as Batman he'll be up in the air more often than not. And even as Batman he won't forget how to duck and dodge.

Another thing he won't forget is how to distract. As Nightwing it'll privately crack him up when his friends joke about the . . . design of his capeless costume. They'll all assume it's not completely intentional. Like, come on. He grew up around Catwoman. Nightwing will also have a splash of bright blue (red once upon a time) on his chest and arms that will say a lot of things, like "Cops, please don't shoot me!" and "Don't be afraid!" and occasionally "Danger. Poison." It, unlike most of his smiles, will say exactly what it means.

In the end, I guess you could say the real difference between them is this: Robin goes around while Batman goes toward–except when Batman sneaks around the back and Robin's the one who's more forward. And only Robin goes up, except when Batman goes up, and they both come down, except that only Robin ever forgets how.

So maybe the contrast is in the overall pattern: Robin becomes Nightwing becomes Batman (becomes Nightwing becomes Renegade becomes Batman becomes the Target becomes Agent 37 becomes Talon becomes Nightwing becomes no-one-at-all becomes Nightwing again—or something along those lines. He might be forgetting some. Phew, he's out of breath). Batman becomes . . . Bruce Wayne?

Oh, and then there's the other big difference: The armor on Batman's head is just as hard as the armor on his legs and arms. It makes a head-butt an actually feasible move, while for Robin it's only a desperate last resort. Nightwing won't wear anything but a domino mask on his head, and though he'll be able to list reasons for the thin armor and aerial maneuvers and lack of cape and bright splash of color and ducking and dodging and rolling with the punches, he won't be able to justify that.

Anatoli Knyazev will know this, too.